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My Fellow Americans?

There were three of them and one of me. The day was pouring rain – you remember the recent Saturday when the Nor’easter was hitting – and I figured if I was going to make the Price Chopper run I’d at least have a Starbucks coffee out of it. There I sat, next to a table of two older men chatting over their newspapers. Typical upstate New York politics – they liked Trump’s policies and that’s what they were voting for, who needs another lefty! Their hatred of Cuomo. Their disdain for Delgado, and how they weren’t worried about Faso. How they felt New york City should be separated from the state because they could never beat them based on numbers.

I focused on my coffee and didn’t turn around. A third gentleman sat down across from them, enjoying their talk. One was complaining about a recent treaty that Trump was pulling out of.

“They should do away with treaties,” said the guy who was doing most of the talking, not bothering to say which ones.

Then they started talking about the wall, and how it needs to be built. “There are drones that could see for miles and know when people are coming from the other side.” Some bit about a flame-thrower I couldn’t quite make out. (Yes, a flame-thrower.) And then this: “They should build it out of a slippery material, and then have a ditch of oil, maybe two feet deep, so when they get across the ditch they will be covered in oil and be too slippery to climb the wall.”

Yes, I busted out laughing. But they didn’t notice. They were too busy solving the world’s problems safely from their vantage point in upstate New York.

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