Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Someone just posted that “January is the Monday of the year” and that feels so very true.

#TinyThreads

By saying you ‘own’ some sort of awful or egregious action or behavior, you do not exonerate yourself from it. In fact, your ‘owning’ of it simply implies that you knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway. That just makes you an asshole. 

#TinyThreads

Appetizers taste better when eaten with a toothpick. 

I said what I said. 

#TinyThreads

This marks the first #TinyThreads entry of the year, so here’s a look back at a few of my favorites of the previous year:

Did my mini have an oopsie-accident?

The side-bar conversation.

A dick pic.

Movie fact.

Best to be flippant.

Park it here.

Give them Heloise.

Is Monday through Sunday the same as Monday through Monday?

IDGAF.

A world fucking series.

Never gonna get it.

Trader Joe’s you know it’s true.

A literal crotch shot.

Whoa Mary…

Caption ideas for this vintage photo:

They put me in a onesie and wonder at the fact that I’m gay.

Suzie never could turn down a chance to wear red leggings.

Suzie never could turn down a chance to wear pigtails.

Suzie never could turn down a chance to wear a hat.

Suzie never could turn down a chance to look ridiculous. 

Who are the striped twins about to make their killing?

#TinyThreads

A little PSA for you and me (and please pronounce ‘me’ as in N’Sync’s ‘It’s Gonna Be Me’) to make it work: Mercury is in retrograde motion until January 1, 2024, so 2023 is gonna end on an appropriately sucky note. Forewarned is fair-warned, as they say in the retail biz. 

#TinyThreads

Every year they put less and less tape in a roll of Scotch tape. 

This is not a conspiracy theory.

Facts.

And every year we have a surplus of Scotch tape until the month of December when it all suddenly disappears right before we need to wrap gifts. (See also ‘birthday‘.)

#TinyThreads

New rule for my old self: do not put things down. Whether it’s the car keys, reading glasses, a bottle of cologne, the phone, a jockstrap, the mail, a laptop, your office ID card, a cup of tea – just keep it in your hands until you need it. The moment you put it down is the moment you forget where you put it down.

#TinyThreads

The world needs more biblical humor, especially at this time of the year.

PS – I would have gone with Joseph over God based on this depiction, but whatever Mary.

#TinyThreads

Is three the ideal number of episodes in a series? I think it is. Enough for some decent suspense, and, more importantly, not quite enough to draw it out. 

#TinyThreads

It takes hours to make ice from scratch.

(I’m not talking about the pre-made kind that shoots out of an ice-maker.)

#TinyThreads

Count me among the few people who have never seen a Willy Wonka movie in any of its iterations. Imagine that! My allegiance lies with Mary as far as children’s films go. 

#TinyThreads

Not thinking is the surest way to gaslight me. 

#TinyThreads

Pet peeve: when sequin tops only have sequins on one side. No one should have to live in such one-sided fashion.

#TinyThreads

Maintaining this unpopular holiday opinion, I still abhor a snickerdoodle cookie. 

#TinyThreads

Look at ‘The Gilded Age’ teaching me that a horologist wasn’t at all what I thought it was!

{Note to self: revise that unfortunate section on the resume circa the mid 90’s…}

#TinyThreads