Category Archives: Tiny Threads

As much as I love words, I abhor when they’re used in home décor.

#TinyThreads

There is nothing wrong with having chicken parmesan for breakfast.

What is chicken but a wicked old egg?

#TinyThreads

Tangled paper clips are a cakewalk compared to tangled Christmas tree ornament hangers. 

Listen to me, like I have anything to do with either of those things.

#TinyThreads

I’m not putting on weight.

I’m putting on winter insulation.

And shut the fuck up.

#TinyThreads

Suzie and I were just texting about this other day: is the Erie Canal still operational?

Low bridge, everybody down.

#TinyThreads

Once bitten, twice stupid.

Fuck being shy.

#TinyThreads

When does the #AlanIlaganIsOverParty start trending? Because I am done with this shit. 

#TinyThreads

{Instagram is better.}

Eventually, all things gaudy and in poor taste find their way into my favor. At this moment, that’s a flocked Christmas tree. 

If you don’t like it, flock you. 

#TinyThreads

It’s never too late to have a moment of redemption. 

Happy Christmas Eve.

#TinyThreads

Regarding office present protocol: I don’t give gifts. I only receive.

No hard feelings.

#TinyThreads

Many work days consist mostly of inadvertently recreating John Krasinski’s reaction shots from ‘The Office’ – and I never even watched ‘The Office’.

#TinyThreads

I do so love an overture, even though it seems to be in danger of getting lost. I suppose that has its good and bad points. People are late enough – an overture might just be another reason for people to push their arrival time further out. The world turns…

{Here’s one of the greatest overtures ever written, far better than its accompanying show: ‘Candide.’}

#TinyThreads 

Regarding your Ugly Christmas Sweater: it’s the ‘Christmas’ that sets it apart from your other sweaters, right?

#TinyThreads

It’s almost soup season. My first will be a split pea soup using the hambone from dinner a few nights ago.  What is your poison?

#TinyThreads

What is the point of desiccating perfectly good fruit in the sun? I’m talking to you, raisins and sun-dried tomatoes. You gag me.

#TinyThreads