Category Archives: Tiny Threads

“Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?” marked my first exposure to a cappella singing groups.

Oh, tell me where!

#TinyThreads

Some memes are really good.

#TinyThreads

Me to a co-worker: “I need my time alone. To be healthy and safe for people.”

#TinyThreads

Maybe I’ll just tweet this shit instead.

Social media saturation.

Waterlogged waterloo.

#TinyThreads

Our local newspaper, the Times Union, recently posted the following headline on its FaceBook feed:

“Albany officer Christofer M. Kitto, 34, was charged with patronizing a prostitute, but police say the shooting was justified.”

It would be genius if I could be entirely sure that they were in on the joke. Sadly, I’m not entirely sure, given some of their typographical errors of late. 

#TinyThreads

The other night I had a dream about Ladurée macarons, which I’ve never actually had the pleasure or privilege of tasting. Definitely a sign for someone to send me some. They do ship. Let me know if you need an address… 

#TinyThreads

As much as I love words, I abhor when they’re used in home décor.

#TinyThreads

There is nothing wrong with having chicken parmesan for breakfast.

What is chicken but a wicked old egg?

#TinyThreads

Tangled paper clips are a cakewalk compared to tangled Christmas tree ornament hangers. 

Listen to me, like I have anything to do with either of those things.

#TinyThreads

I’m not putting on weight.

I’m putting on winter insulation.

And shut the fuck up.

#TinyThreads

Suzie and I were just texting about this other day: is the Erie Canal still operational?

Low bridge, everybody down.

#TinyThreads

Once bitten, twice stupid.

Fuck being shy.

#TinyThreads

When does the #AlanIlaganIsOverParty start trending? Because I am done with this shit. 

#TinyThreads

{Instagram is better.}

Eventually, all things gaudy and in poor taste find their way into my favor. At this moment, that’s a flocked Christmas tree. 

If you don’t like it, flock you. 

#TinyThreads