Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Thoughts turn to betrayal when I see the snowplow guy servicing other driveways. This isn’t Sister Wives.

#TinyThreads

Speaking solely for myself (who else can anyone speak for?) I’d rather be selfish than selfless any day.

And every day.

#TinyThreads

Political posts may be polarizing but I put cilantro on almost anything because I love it so much.

#TinyThreads

Pet peeve: when someone monopolizes a hashtag on Instagram.

Like me.

#TinyThreads

It’s been way too long since I’ve had a massage.

I recently stumbled groggily into a door and thought, “That wasn’t terrible.”

#TinyThreads

After your mind, the worst thing to lose is your glasses.

Both were missing today.

#TinyThreads

Early March, playing

around with a new project

maybe even two.

#TinyThreads

Just switch out ‘Asking for a friend’ with ‘I’m an obnoxious prick not even bothering to hide it anymore’ and call it a day.

#TinyThreads

Advice for job hunters: only idiots reply to an automatic reply.

Desperation is not a good look.

Neither is an e-mail that comes in at 3 AM Saturday night.

#TinyThreads

Why are we still using printers?

They do nothing but jam.

#TinyThreads

It finally dawned on me that I’ve been channeling Tina Turner in ‘Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome’ for all my adult life. Bust a deal, face the wheel. #RaggedyMan 

#TinyThreads

There are some people who only have memes to offer.

Avoid them.

#TinyThreads

I previously posted a quick text exchange between Skip and myself as a #TinyThread; today is Suzie’s turn, but don’t tell her because I didn’t get her permission yet.

SUZIE: I’m not positive on this, but a quick scan of our work fridge seems to indicate that someone brought in SpaghettiOs for lunch.

ME: Ok. NEVER scan the work fridge. This is basic office protocol. You put your stuff in, and you take your stuff out. Do not touch, look, scan or involve yourself in the rest of the fridge. It’s like Fight Club only more dangerous.

#TinyThreads

Situation: you’re at the café, you order your drink and you get about seventeen cents back in change. No spare dollar bill, not even a quarter – just some pennies, a nickel and a dime. Do you put this into the tip jar? I never do, thinking it’s more of an insult to give such a piddling amount. To me, it always felt like one of those silent fuck-you-I hate-change-too-so-I’m-leaving-the-mess-for-you-to-clean-up-while-looking-like-I’m-tipping-you-which-for-all-intents-and-purposes-I’m-not-because-what-the-fuck-can-anyone-do-with-seventeen-goddamn-cents moves. Am I wrong? Or does every penny count?

#TinyThreads

“The things that make you strange are the things that make you powerful.” – Ben Platt

#TinyThreads