Category Archives: Tiny Threads

French fries have sold more ketchup than tomatoes ever could.

#TinyThreads

Why would anyone do something like this?

#TinyThreads

A sandwich always tastes better when someone else makes it. I don’t know why this should be true, it just is. Same for a salad.

#TinyThreads

I’m planning early for my winter body.

Pass the brownies.

#TinyThreads

How silly humans are.

We send rockets into the air, blow them up, and watch them burn.

Sometimes the unfortunate blow off a few fingers in the process.

All in the name of America.

Home of the brave…

#TinyThreads

How are all these people affording month-long summer stays at vacation spots?

Am I the only one who has to go to work?

#TinyThreads

With all of our modern-day technology, you would think someone could make an oven door that you can actually see through.

#TinyThreads

Sadness is a pile of fallen peony petals you never got to smell.

#TinyThreads

Honey syrup cures many an ailment: bland tea, bitter cocktails, and/or not-quite-ripe fruit. Try some, you’ll like it.

#TinyThreads

Those days when you can’t decide if you have a real stomachache or if your pants are just squeezing your balls too tightly.

#TinyThreads

Co-worker: You don’t need a coat.

Me: Yes. I do. I’m dainty.

#TinyThreads

“Starting a podcast is the millennial version of let’s start a band.”

I don’t know who said it, but I love it.

#TinyThreads

A word or few on the bachelorette party: bane of the gay bar’s existence. While most view the bachelorette party with a weary, hateful eye, I usually think, ‘Oh, let them enjoy their day-long glory. They can go back to worshipping me the remaining 364 days of the year,’ and then it usually happens.

#TinyThreads

In my rapidly-advancing age I find it much easier to say a kind word instead of a mean one. There is less effort involved. And when it comes to criticism, a little goes a long way. (In the words of Norma Desmond, “I can say anything I want with my eyes!”)

There is something powerful in not saying anything out loud if you have nothing nice to say. A literally-unsaid sort of power.

#TinyThreads