Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Once upon a time kids didn’t go to Starbucks.

I wish it was more than once.

#TinyThreads

Are you the kind of person who cuts all the pancakes before you start eating them, or do you cut one bite at a time? In my life, I’ve mostly been the former.

#TinyThreads

Let the serrated knife do the work it was designed to do.

#TinyThreads

I can never just bite my tongue once. It always has to happen twice, in the exact same spot, within minutes of the first. Does anyone else have this problem? No matter how careful I am, it still happens.

#TinyThreads

Why do so many parents take any criticism of children in general as a direct attack on their own kids? Guilt? Projection? Inferiority? Fear?

#TinyThreads

Co-worker, lecturing me: “You need to make better choices.”

Me, in response: “You are the billboard for bad choices. That brace is a bad choice.”

#TinyThreads

Why can’t trail mixes actually be healthy?

Why are we pretending that M&Ms are good for anyone?

#TinyThreads

We’ll drink to-night with hearts as light

   To love, as gay and fleeting

As bubbles that swim, on the beaker’s brim,

   And break on the lips while meeting.

– Herman Melville, ‘Moby Dick’

#TinyThreads

When sending out a mass e-mail to an entire organization in which you’re describing someone within said organization, be extra vigilant not to confuse words like ‘conscientious’ with words like ‘contentious.’ Letters matter!

#TinyThreads

When you’ve seen a sequin-saturated performance of Cher, Bette Midler, and Elton John from Cher’s variety show, it’s kind of hard to believe anything new is really going to be “the gayest thing ever.”

#TinyThreads

A threat that will only work with a finite audience: if you don’t behave I’m going to wash your mouth out with cilantro. 

(And now I want guacamole.)

#TinyThreads

I want nothing to do with an unripe banana.

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No better way is there to learn to love Nature than to understand Art. It dignifies every flower of the field. And, the boy who sees the thing of beauty which a bird on the wing becomes when transferred to wood or canvas will probably not throw the customary stone. ~ Oscar Wilde

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In a battle between Lilly Pulitzer and Vera Bradley, we’re all losers.

#TinyThreads

The level of customer service is invertly proportional to the quality of coffee at both Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts, and I’m starting to accept the lackluster coffee of the latter to avoid the shoddy service of the former.

#TinyThreads