These tumultuous days of riotous weather, when the sky is moody and prone to unanticipated temper tantrums – crying and wailing and screaming and blowing – the following meme is a helpful reminder of the difference between a watch and a warning. Another way of remembering is that we like to watch, but we don’t like to be warned.
Reclaiming the original #TinyThreads, this is a picture that leaves room for your own imaginary interpretation. Picking up what must be our gazillionth bag of brown mulch for the garden from Lowes, I returned to the car and found this matching puddle of paint next to it. My first thought was ‘Oopsie, the Ice Blue Show Queen had an accident!’ Your thoughts?
With all this talk of Threads lately, I’d like to remind Mark Loser Zuckerberg and Elon Loser Musk that I started this #TinyThreads series way back on September 22, 2018, preserved in this post for all posterity and proof. Who do I need to sue to get some recognition now? I mean, kiss my ass already.
As for this #TinyThreads series, perhaps it’s time to bring it back.
Bringing it and bringing it and bringing it back…
(Also, insider hint – click on the #TinyThreads link below to bring you to the last installment, and then again when you hit that one – that thread will eventually take you back five years, and even if you start your own Threads account now, you’ll never reach that far back.)
{See my very first official Thread below.}
There will always be certain people who act contrary for the sake of being contrary. When you find one of these people, do your best to lose them again.
The sweet spot: that space on a chocolate chip cookie where there are no chips so you can safely hold it without melting anything on your fingers. And then hanging onto the thing for dear life because you don’t want to put it down and risk losing that spot.
Dramatic narrator’s voice: Out of all the first world problems, perhaps the greatest is coaxing the California King duvet back into its cover.
When branding turns dangerous. Three corn cobs do not a difference make!
Why does the phrase “You don’t say” actually mean “You do say”?
I can say anything I want with my thighs.
That terrifying moment when you get up in the middle of the night to pee, and it’s dark but you’re pretty sure you know where to aim because you’ve been doing this for well over four decades, and you let loose but don’t hear the sound of urine hitting water – there is just silence, so you’re pretty sure you’re still somewhere in the ceramic basin and you adjust a bit hoping to hear that reassuring sound of liquid pouring into liquid, but it still doesn’t come, so you readjust again, only to more silence. Then you shake it off, flush the toilet, and hope for the best in the morning.
If you’re lucky, the most annoying part of your day is when your socks aren’t pulled on all the way.
When a new urinal cake is the highlight of your day at the office, what does that mean?
