Category Archives: Sports

{The screen lights up on this exchange between Skip and Alan…}

ALAN: Did Tom Brady fuck a goat? What are all the goat references about? Or is GOAT like EGOT but for football?

SKIP: Greatest Of All Time.

ALAN: OMG. Well thank God he didn’t fuck it. Wait, was the goat named Sylvia?

This marks the premiere of our ‘Super Bowl Spotlight‘ feature (the first and last one until next year, because researching sports shit is just not my scene). I did, however, put forth some effort to secure this one, because while gingers may rule the red roost here, a bald man is just as much appreciated. No hair on the chest is one (disappointing) thing, but no hair on the head is quite another, and in these parts we celebrate the chrome-domed among us as the hot and sultry guys they are. Case in point is Rex Bulkhead, a running back for the New England Patriots (previously of the Cincinnati Bengals). I know several people who would gleefully trade in the carefully-coifed tops of Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski for the sleek and chic smoothness of Mr. Burkhead’s head. Here’s wishing him luck today in the really big game. 

Behold, it is Super Bowl Sunday!! This is the one day in the entire year where I make Buffalo chicken dip (a.k.a. chicken crack dip according to the internet). I’ll fancy it up with some fresh green onions as a garnish, and whole wheat pita bread for dipping, because I can convince myself that anything is healthy when whole wheat is involved. Mind fucking is a glorious thing in your 40’s. 

What’s on the agenda? Perhaps some live-tweeting of the big game, or at least the commercials leading up to the half-time show with Justin Timberlake. (He was rumored to be using a hologram of Prince in this one, which would, in my estimation, be rather cataclysmic, but I’ll reserve judgment for how it turns out in the end.) Mr. Timberlake will be back here in a few hours with a shameless promo-plug of his naked ass. We live to give.

Tom Brady’s mug adorns this post, as he will anchor the Patriots, who are going for their sixth (?) Super Bowl Ring. (Cue Ring of Fire.) In honor of that, a few links to past Super Bowl glories:

• The Super Bowl Jockstrap Post
• The Super Bowl Recap Post
• The Super Bowl No-Show
• The Super Glory Bowl 
• The Super Madonna Show
• The Super Jock Show
• The Super Ball Memory Bowl
• The Super Naked Rob Gronkowski

And a bonus shot of a naked Julian Edelman. You didn’t really come here for legit football stats, did you? 

It’s Super Bowl Sunday! I’ll be too busy hosting a brunch for family and friends this morning, so I’m not going to be getting up into any jockstrap antics – we’ll leave that to these gentlemen. This is the one day in the entire year when I make that Buffalo chicken dip and drink a beer. (And, to be fair, that only happens when I’m excited about the half-time show, which really only occurred once before: the epic 2012 Madonna episode.) This year I’ll watch to see Lady Gaga’s performance, because she knows how to put on a good show as well.

Even though the Patriots are in this one, I’ve not paid any attention to this year’s festivities and the games leading up to them. Is there a naked Rob Gronkowski? I’ve gone a bit sour on Tom Brady, but he’ll be there. Anyway, if it’s your thing, you probably aren’t reading this now, and if you’re just waiting for Lady Gaga, like me, let’s regroup tomorrow and have a kiki.

Until then, here’s a revisiting of some jockstrap posts.

Maybe I’ll get into one for baseball season.

But more than likely I’ll leave it up to guys like this.

And when the jockstraps come off, there’s only this left.

This post is in no way meant to imply or inspire an acceptance of Uggs, which I find to be one of the more egregious fashion blights to take over the nation. It will never reach the proportion or offensive stature of, say, Crocs – but it’s bad enough. That said, here’s some free advertising because we are about to dive end-zone-first into football season.

Here we have Tom Brady and Julian Edelman in a tongue-in-cheek take on what is likely a rather accurate rendering of their relationship. I just want to know two things: who designed that gorgeous room? And may I join in the fun? I’ll be quiet, I promise. (Wonder if Mr. Brady gets as naked as this if the fire gets too hot…) PS – One more question: where is THE GRONK?

Check out the fun below: