Category Archives: General

Olympic Slumber

As the torch goes out on another Summer Olympics, I am reminded of the 1988 Games – the last time I remember watching the summer version. (Usually the only thing that brings me to the Olympics is the figure skating.) This year, however, I was swept into all of it – due mostly to all the Guy Candy on display, but also for the contagious competitive excitement. It became addictive wanting to see the reactions of the athletes to their wins and losses – and when it turned into good sportsmanship and mutual admiration and respect I was truly touched.
Back in 1988, long before the Internet, when television was the medium that brought the world together, the Summer Olympics were the biggest event of the season. My parents allowed me to spend the night in the family room, in front of the television, on my Grandmother’s fold-up cot. I’d fall asleep to the flickering background of the latest track and field race, and wake as my Dad left for work the next morning.
It was, for the most part, a solitary experience, but it felt better knowing the rest of the world was watching at the same time. That was echoed in these games, in the way that social media made it a collective event, in ways more direct, if more diffuse. While we may be more fragmented in some ways, we’re closer in others. The strange twists the world has taken in these ensuing years, and the ticking of time, struck me as I watched a grey-haired Greg Louganis – the gold medalist in 1988 – looking down on David Boudia completing his gold-medal-winning dive.
Another circle is complete.

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The Shows Must Go On

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Last week I had the pleasure of attending a performance of Guys and Dolls at the Cohoes Music Hall. (Pulitzer-prize winning local author William Kennedy was in attendance as well, so I was doubly star-struck.) As always, they put on an amazing show, but it may be their last if they don’t find some serious financial support. It turns out that one of their recent productions, Hair, which I absolutely adored, was one of their lowest grossing shows. Combined with a lower subscription count and the departure of a major donor or two, C-R Productions is in danger of shutting down. It would be a great loss to the community – for those of us who love theater, as well as the denizens of Cohoes and Remsen Street, whose recent revitalization is in no small part due to the Cohoes Music Hall.

While those are serious reasons to be concerned, I’m writing this from a traditionally selfish stance – I have never seen a less than impeccable production at the Cohoes Music Hall and I don’t want to see them shut down. Jim and Tony do an amazing job of finding the best talent, both behind the scenes and on center stage. Each and every show is a revelation, and they have consistently put on some of the best productions in the area. Add to this the grand, and sadly diminishing, tradition of a historical theater building, still powered by the sole strength of the human voice and live instruments, and losing it would be a blow to all involved.

The list of shows that have impressed me over the years is a long one ~ The Pirates of Penzance, Cats, Crazy For You, Sunset Boulevard, Cabaret, Hair – and countless others – and I only hope we can help them meet their goal. Please visit their site HERE to donate or purchase tickets. Every little bit helps. At last count, they had about $50,000 of the necessary $75,000, so it’s within grasp, but the deadline is August 15, so we need to act now.

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Tom Daley’s Best Side: Butt or Bulge?

This may be the part of the Olympics that some people miss the most: the after-diving shower. It’s just a question of which part.

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Song for the Middle of a Summer Night

I’m a traitor to a beautiful cause…

In the back of a station wagon, we steal kisses in the night. Moths flutter in the fading headlights, swimming in the sultry wet air. A sweet fragrance, some unseen flower unfurling in the dark, rides on the blackness. It is the summer of our unrealized content.

How long will it take to get used to me?

Strange stirrings in the night. Stranger danger. And we devour each other, tongues lapping and darting in tandem, rising and falling with our breathing, thrilling before settling into something deeper. A sigh. An intake. A wish to say it.

Oh yes I love you, but today I could hate you, I could hurt you…

Nestling into a moist neck, matted hair, rustling eyelashes, and squeezing eyes so tightly closed it feels like crying or happiness so great it hurts. When all you want is to be held…

It’s not enough to believe in love…

Deep in the heart of the night ~ this summer night ~ when the air is still warm, I hug you closer. My hands on your chest, our foreheads touch, and we can barely see each other. We are so young. It aches to be so young. We do not see ahead – ahead is even darker than this night, and so we cling closer, knowing somehow that the summer will not last, could never last.

God made me to her own design by planning too many flaws…
I’ve got too many flaws…

Morning will come soon, and then the Fall.

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The Magic of Matthew Mitcham

Okay, I’m a bit biased, as he’s the first (and only) Olympian who was nice enough to follow me on Twitter, but Matthew Mitcham is my new favorite diver. (What’s the matter Tom Daley? Are you scared of me or something?) Even if Mr. Mitcham didn’t extend that courtesy, I’d have been enamored of him for being one of the only Olympians to live proudly and openly as a gay man.

It seems like such a small thing, and such an insignificant thing when you’re in the running to be the single best diver in the world, but to some of us it makes a world of difference. To some, this is everything – the peek into a future of possibility and hope – the seed of an idea that this might one day be you. If you’ve had to grow up without that, you have no idea what kind of power that holds.

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The Gay Olympian: Matthew Mitcham

This is Matthew Mitcham, an openly-gay Olympic diver from Australia (talk about a triple crown).
He’s probably the most prominent and well-known of the gay men at the games (at least, he’s the only one I’ve heard about, and these things usually manage to trickle down even to the must oblivious of us).
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More of that Gold Medalist: Epke Zonderland

Welcome to the Wonderland of Zonderland. This guy set the high bar, well, high – and deservedly won the gold medal for the Netherlands.

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The Politics, and the Damage, of Fear

We were driving along the outskirts of Amsterdam, having just had dinner with my family. The sun was setting and the golden hour was upon us. I’d asked Andy to take this route home so I could grab some photos. As we passed one of the old homes, I noticed a surprising sign on the side of the house: ‘Save Us, Girl Scouts’. My heart warmed to think of my hometown as being so progressive to put such a clever anti-boy scouts message up after that organization had maintained its anti-gay policies.

“Wait, pull in here,” I said to Andy. “I want to get a picture of that sign.” We entered the gravel driveway and maneuvered around a dilapidated truck. I lowered my window and tried to get a few shots, but the angle was wrong. “No, back in and get closer,” I instructed. I still couldn’t get a decent photo, so I hopped out and walked a little closer to the house. I framed the sign and snapped a few pictures. Andy was turning the car around. The gravel crackled in the background.

I looked at the house. Near the sign hung a rusty star, over-sized as I got nearer. The house, on closer inspection, was not well-kept. I read the sign again: ‘Save Us, Girl Scouts’. Something was wrong. My initial reading of what that meant was off. This wasn’t an anti-boy scouts message, this was a message asking the girl scouts to follow in their anti-gay wake. By this time, Andy had gotten out of the car and was walking toward me.

“Get back in the car,” I said urgently.  “We have to get back in the car now.” He wasn’t moving quickly and a sliver of terror ran through my body. “Andy, now,” I repeated, raising my voice. There wasn’t time to explain. I slammed the door behind me and slumped down in the seat. “Go faster, you have to go faster,” I pleaded as he slowly, too slowly, started driving away. I thought I heard two loud cracks against the car. “They’re shooting at us, go!” I screamed.

At the end of the driveway, Andy slowed to check if it was okay to go. A car was coming and he had to stop. I saw the long end of the rifle first, then just the beard and mustache of the lower half of the man’s face. “Get out of the car,” he said to my husband. I racked my brain for an outrageous tale to explain us. I wondered if we should try to pretend we were straight. I prayed that Andy would not get out of the car and try to be a policeman. All I felt was fear – the fear of being hated – and the powerlessness against that rendered me silent. Andy started to open the door…
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I gasped and sat up in bed. It was still dark out. Andy stirred a bit beside me. It had only been a dream. I threw the sheets off my sweaty body and laid back down. This is how being hated manifests itself, I thought. This is how terror infiltrates the mind. This is how the Pope, and the Boy Scouts, and Chick-fil-A, and anyone who has made subtle or not-so-subtle anti-gay remarks or actions work to break us. We can pretend to be strong, we can pretend it doesn’t matter, we can pretend that they have the right to their beliefs, but this is what happens. I’m just glad that this time it only happened in my mind.

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A Different Kind of Gold

As American gymnast Sam Mikulak watched South Korea’s Yang Hak-Seon perform his gold-medal-worthy vault at the Olympics, he was also watching his own dreams of a medal fade away. Rather than looking down or shaking his head, Mikulak was all smiles and excitement. As Hak-Seon walked by, Mikulak grabbed and hugged him. “Give me a hug!” he exclaimed exuberantly, “That was ridiculous!” Far from being downcast or dejected, Mr. Mikulak was giddy with the thrill of a fellow athlete’s success, even it came as a cost to his own. It was a heartfelt reminder that each and every one of those athletes is a winner, medal or not.

Despite what I’ve been posting here, there is more to the Olympics than guy candySpeedos, & bulges. For me, the most enjoyable part of the whole thing is when good sportsmanship is in evidence. These are athletes who have devoted their whole lives to being the best that they can be – and they all seem to understand that the other athletes have done the same thing. There is a competitive camaraderie that’s tangible, and though they each want to win the gold, for the most part they are not sore losers if they don’t. This is the sort of thing missing from the professional organized sports I usually hear about in this country – football, baseball, & basketball – to say nothing of the parents of Pee Wee baseball kids.

I am continuously moved to see people from different countries coming together, embracing at their triumphs and setbacks, but through it all united as one body of supremely-talented athletes. Apart from the thrilling spectacle of a perfect routine or game, it is the picture of two athletes supporting each other in their success, no matter the outcome. Yes, there are probably just as many icy stares and non-hugs when you’re at that level and the dreams of a medal don’t pan out, but Mr. Mikulak was a gracious reminder of the very best of these Olympic games. It’s not just about talent, it’s also about attitude. On that night he may not have won a medal, but his heart was pure gold.

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Finally, A Naked Gold Medalist: Epke Zonderland

This is Epke Zonderland, a gold medalist from the Netherlands. The name alone would be worthy of admiration, but he’s got the body to further back it up.

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #74 ~ ‘Dear Jessie’ – Spring 1991

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}


Baby face don’t grow so fast
Make a special wish that will always last
Rub this magic lantern
He will make your dreams come true, for you
Ride the rainbow to the other side
Catch a falling star and then take a ride
To the river that sings and the clover
That brings good luck to you, it’s all true…

Once upon a time I played the oboe. I wasn’t horrendous at it, but I certainly wasn’t the best. The oboe is not an easy instrument to play, and its temperamental home-made double-reed nastiness is not the easiest thing to master, but I did my best. No teacher in the Amsterdam School District had a strong-enough background in the oboe, so if I was to excel I had to get private lessons from someone outside the area. My goal, half-concocted by my parents to pad my extracurricular activities for my college career, was to make it into the Empire State Youth Orchestra.

Thus began my oboe lessons under the tutelage of a Mrs. Green, who lived a few towns away, in Ballston Spa. It was about a 45 minute trek through the back roads and winding woods of upstate New York, heading from Amsterdam towards Saratoga. Not at all an unpleasant ride, if you’re making it for happier reasons than weekly instrumental lessons, and not the most fun in the treachery of winter, but a pretty enough journey nonetheless.

It can also be a long road when a tortured adolescent is not speaking to his family, so perhaps both my Mom and I were glad for the silence-filler of Madonna on perpetual play. For some reason, this song stands out as representative of those journeys, especially in the spring to summer of 1991.

A cut from her majestic ‘Like A Prayer’ album, this was Madonna at her most sensitive and thoughtful, singing whimsical lyrics in a love letter to childhood. With its orchestral intro, string-laden melody, and brass bridge breakdown, this was closest to a ‘classical music’ song that Madonna has ever attempted. As such, it’s an anomaly in the Madonna canon, but a gorgeous one.

Pink elephants and lemonade,
Dear Jessie hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day,
Dear Jessie see the roses raining on the love parade.

The back-story is that Madonna wrote this for the daughter of her main producing partner at the time, Pat Leonard (the person responsible for some of her most powerful and iconic songs, such as ‘Like A Prayer’, ‘Live to Tell’, and ‘Papa Don’t Preach’.) In that respect, it marks one of the only Madonna songs that is clearly about a specific, and named, person; usually she takes the universal route, one of the calling cards of lasting pop songs. Leonard was an integral part of the now classical period from 1986 to 1989 that cemented Madonna as an icon, and this song is the least she could have done for his child.

It doubles as an ode to innocence and the magic of being a child. So much of Madonna’s persona has been tinged with a childlike, slightly mischievous, impetuous nature (the very anti-thesis of the coldly calculating woman that many mistakenly believe her to be) that this is, remarkably, a rather revelatory dreamscape of pretend.

If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart, it will never leave
There’s a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you
Close your eyes and you’ll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold, you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade
Pink elephants and lemonade,
Dear Jessie hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day,
Dear Jessie see the roses raining on the love parade.

For me, it was a last grasp at a childhood that was fading just as that Spring and Summer matured. In the car on the way to those oboe lessons, the afternoon sun rendered dappled beneath the bright green canopy, I sat in the backseat, reading or grabbing a nap or simply looking out the window, watching for the tell-tale signs of the seasons. The land seemed greener then, less hot and dry, and summers stretched out without any end in sight.

I honed my oboe skills, learning to make my own reeds by hand, running beeswax alonog the string, soaking the stems until malleable, delicately shaving off the tips to find the perfect sound. Reed-making was as much about luck as science for me, a tricky little part of being a decent oboe player. While other oboe-players ordered pre-made reeds, I was not allowed such ease, and it made me a better player. I understand the result of hard work, and how much more it meant. That summer, I practiced and improved, and by Fall I was ready to audition. Even if I wasn’t as good as the first oboist (I eventually made it into the Repertory Orchestra, and then the Youth Orchestra), I had the satisfaction of knowing how to make a double reed, the pride in crafting my own sound, from my own hands.

On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves
Leprechauns floating by, this is your lullaby
Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips
Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed
Never forget what I’ve said, hang on, you’re already there…
Close your eyes and you’ll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

It paid off, and whether it was the oboe or my grades or my application essays, I made it into every college to which I applied. (I still remember the recruiter from Boston College challenging me as to what extra stuff I had to offer the school, to which I said I was in several orchestras: “Yeah, but unless you play something like the oboe you’re not that different from everyone else – what instrument do you play?” Yeah, the oboe.)

My heart, however, did not belong to the instrument. I didn’t like performing in concerts (I was a nervous wreck), and I didn’t have the drive or ambition to go much further than the college orchestra at Brandeis (which I was dragged into after much kicking and screaming, and only for one year). I also didn’t have the love for the oboe that a truly great musician must have. The orchestral stints, the practicing, the reed-making – they were simply a means to an end – the end result being getting into a good school. It was a cold and calculated move, devoid of the passion and heat of which any worthy artistic endeavor should be comprised. There was a lesson there too, a very valuable one.

I’d gone into Brandeis with a vague notion, mostly instilled by my parents, that I should major in something scientific. While it was no secret they’d have been thrilled if I went into the medical field, I wanted nothing to do with that. Up until that moment, I’d done what I supposed to do – and my oboe playing, even with its moments of enjoyment, was not something I would have pursued on my own. When given the chance to give it up, I did. Not with anger or resentment, but with the realization that it wasn’t for me.

The same went for my scientific career. After a tough ‘Brain: From Molecules to Perception’ course, in which I managed to go from an ‘F’ to an ‘A’ in the course of a semester, I had to admit that my strengths were not in the sciences, but in the realm of words. It was exactly the opposite of the vision my parents had for, and about, me. I went to my adviser, and changed my major at the end of the second semester. I felt relief, freedom, happiness, and hope. It was the first of many moves where I went against what I was supposed to do, and in the end became richer for it.

Pink elephants and lemonade,
Dear Jessie hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day,
Dear Jessie see the roses raining on the love parade.

Madonna was leaving her past behind too, saying good-bye to the 80’s – the decade in which she ‘ruled the world’ – and entering the brave new world of the last decade of the century. The rocky period of adulthood loomed ahead of both of us. For now, though, there was this song of childhood. We could hold onto it for a little while longer.

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It’s a holiday inside your love parade.
Song #74: ‘Dear Jessie’ – Spring 1991
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Divine Decadence in Mac-&-Cheese

If you’re going to be bad, you should be really, really bad. To that end, this recipe for Lobster & Truffle Oil Mac-&-Cheese. Based on a ridiculously heart-attack-inducing mac-&-cheese recipe from Patti LaBelle (her Over-the-Rainbow version), this has been modified to include lobster, and the accompanying seasonings. The key change-up is the addition of the sherry and nutmeg, and the switch to a bit of Gruyere. The Velveeta stays the same.
We served it with a bunch of blanched green beans, simply prepared with some butter and sea salt. It was an inconsequential nod to something green and healthy, slightly off-set by the butter and salt, but with the lobster mac-&-cheese, it’s a drop in the ocean.
Lobster Mac-&-Cheese

Ingredients:

1 Tbsp olive oil
1 lb. elbow macaroni
1 lb. cooked lobster meat, roughly chopped
1 stick butter (8 Tbsp.)
1/2 cup shredded Gruyere cheese
1/2 cup shredded mild cheddar cheese
1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
2 cups half-and-half
1/4 cup dry sherry
1 cup (8 oz.) Velveeta, cut into small cubes
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon truffle oil
1 cup bread crumbs
Directions:
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly butter a deep 2 1/2 quart casserole.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the oil, then the macaroni. Cook until just tender (al dente) according to package instructions (about 7 minutes). Do not overcook. Drain well and return to pot.
In small pan, melt stick of butter and stir into the macaroni.
In large bowl, mix cheeses together. Add about 1 1/2 cups of this to macaroni, saving remaining for top. Add Velveeta, half-and-half, sherry, eggs, seasonings, and truffle oil to macaroni and mix well.
Transfer to buttered casserole dish. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and breadcrumbs, then dot with butter. Bake until bubbling around edges, about 35 minutes.

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Showering in His Speedo

Not sure what the point of showering in your Speedo is, but Michael Phelps knows way more about water sports than I ever will, so we’ll leave it at that.

 

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Ryan Lochte Pulls His Pants Down

Let’s face it, the Olympics are practically gay porn and to pretend otherwise does us all a disservice.
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