Category Archives: General

Outwardly, it doesn’t feel like 2013 was very eventful. Inwardly, though, there were some major cosmic shifts, some seen only in the rippling echo of a few subtle posts. This was the year that you had to read between the lines if you wanted the full picture, as I tend to not talk about family issues or relationships issues or any of the issues that most people want to hear me talk about. That’s the gloriously infuriating fun of this site – at least for me. Still, revelations were there for the finding, if one bothered to read closely enough and wade through the smut. Here, then, is 2013, in a nutshell:

January 2013 ~

The year kicked off with the tenth anniversary of this very website. Since 2003, I’ve been bringing this site into your homes and lap-tops, through your iPhones and Galaxies, and, for the more progressive locations, into your work places. Ten years is an eternity in the blogging world, and I’m a dinosaur in this game, but I like it that way. This tortoise is in it for the long haul.

A childhood memory, conjured by a sofa-sharing moment with my brother on New Year’s Day, was brought to life by the Gummi Bears. His kids also greeted the New Year with these precious smiles.

The Boston condo was the best place to ride out a winter storm, and it’s been keeping me safe and warm since 1995. It’s hard to beat Boston for a momentary Winter Wonderland.

One of Madonna’s greatest songs was selected for the Madonna Timeline ~ ‘Live to Tell‘. Yet it was newer fare like ‘Falling Free‘ that proved she still held sway over my musical affections.

A fun hotel romp, literary-style.

This dressing gown, a wedding gift, inspired more memories than I initially thought.

A new project received the quietest release I’ve ever done. Without the hype and hoopla, ’13’ began with a whisper.

My naked romp on a couch got more notice. So did this naked romp on a bed. And this naked moment in the shower.

Shooting the football shit with my brother.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is run.

I love a surprise, especially when it involves traveling. Several notable surprise trips were made this year, starting with this one to Washington, DC, which included a stop at one of my favorite fancy watering holes. And some hotel sauciness. But skip all of that and go to the condensed versions: Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4. Or just go here to see the underwear pics. (And the naked ones.)

It was a family affair honoring my Dad’s lifetime of work, and an overdue acknowledgement of all that he’s done.

A new series (which has fallen by the wayside of later, until I hear back from Taylor Hudson and Ben Cohen) premiered in January ~ The Straight Ally Profile. The very first installment – and the one that remains my personal favorite – was this profile on my friend Skip Montross.

February 2013 ~

Music continued to provide one of the main touchstones of inspiration for many of my posts, including this musing on a classic standard, along with this Sam Cooke treasure (that also includes an ‘Adventures in Babysitting’ anecdote) and a weekend with the twins – in a robe, no less. Peter, Paul and Mary provided another blast from the childhood past with ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane‘. 

I love posting photos of naked men (myself included) that also feature favorite quotes from books I want people to read. One of the hallmarks of this site is hopefully the spoonful of sugar (nude males) that helps the medicine (writing) go down.

Try one, eat some.

New bedding.

Another new semi-regular feature of this site was established in February, with The Couple Profile. The first one is a favorite because it features these two amazing gentlemen.

Second verse, not quite the same as the first.

Tom Ford is my naked obsession.

Waiting for a new bed in Boston was surprisingly peaceful. As was lounging around in my underwear, and even unpacking and undressing. I blame James Baldwin for making me take my clothes off.

Rehash.

February was not too early for picking up a bouquet of daffodils and praying for the speedy arrival of spring.

March 2013 ~

It supposedly comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, but in between could mean all sort of craziness. Especially when one is felled by a nasty stomach virus. And you thought I was a brat before…

Fittingly, March marked the Madonna Timeline with this ‘Ray of Light’ entry. That epic album (to date, Madonna’s best) enjoyed its fifteenth anniversary.

Another one of my favorite albums of all time was by James, Laid. I love every single song in that collection. Music still has the power to make me cry.

Boston is often more enjoyable when shared with a dear friend. Or when it gets christened by brand new bedding.

Eat some more.

Third time around.

Let us pray. 

As a child, I was severely traumatized by a certain frightening Easter Bunny. This past year, I overcame that fear with this unexpected Easter Brunch catharsis.

April 2013 ~

April flowers brought Boston back to bloom, and Boston Chops proved it was the meat and not the motion. Yet it was the Boston Marathon bombing that moved and united us the most.

When spring is carried in on the night wind, songs like this bring back adolescent memories. And sometimes songs like this one by Bon Jovi go back even further.

Does this inspire you?

April is usually the month that the gardens come fully back to life, but that doesn’t mean the battle is over. All the lessons of life can be found there. Weep not for the Lenten rose. Everything can be accomplished as long as there is a proper plan. And event if there isn’t, there can be peace in that too.

Four score.

After hemming and hawing about starting an Intagram account, I finally did it. And soon enough naked-ass pics like this were being banned.

There once was a time when Madonna scared me.

But it was nowhere near as frightening as my pornstache. Or the wall-paper that goes with it.

This sort of thing only happens once a century. Not super-thrilled that this was that once-a-century moment.

Windmill and bridge, on the edge of a Cape.

Going mad.

Albany disappoints on a number of cocktail levels. Except in cases of statuary.

Though it may not feel like it yet, the daylight is slowly starting to grow longer. Winter has just begun, but a beginning is the only way to get to an ending. In these photos the battle between day and night creates this wondrous effect, aided by the snow and cloud cover. Even in the darkest time of the year, beauty can be found if you wait and watch for it.

This is a bit of a holding post to tide us over until early next week brings the 2013 Year in Review (in three parts no less). For the rest of today, and tonight, I’d like to direct your attention to last’s year’s review. It should come as no surprise that I’m not a fan of looking back that extensively. As a pretty perceptive and analytical person on a day-to-day basis, I find the added burden of going back over an entire year rather onerous and unnecessary. If you do it right the first time around, why go through it again? But as I get older, I find these recaps are a good way of remembering things that would otherwise be forgotten in an instant.

Last year was actually a lot of fun – more-so than this year in a lot of ways – so it might be worth the look back. Here’s what was going on then ~ Part 1 and Part 2. Get ready for this year’s synopsis, which won’t be nearly as enjoyable… (which means you won’t want to miss it).

Two decades ago I sent out a project entitled ‘Apology’. Back then, my audience consisted of about five close friends who received my work through the postal service, as this was right before we all had e-mail. It was more fun that way: I could send out offensive things and have a few days to regret it before the damage was delivered. Which is basically what happened with that project. After a few months of getting battered by friends and family alike, I decided to go the usual passive-aggressive route (with a decided emphasis on the second half of the hyphenate) and address it in my writing. And theirs.

For ‘Apology’, I used Plato’s definition of the word. Unlike what most of us think of an apology, my version was a throwback to its original meaning – a defense. Over the years I’d amassed a decent collection of condemnations against me. Most were from people I’d never even met. The ones that mattered – and the ones that hurt the most – were those that came from the people whom I thought knew and understood me. Many of these were letters of blame bandied about in anger, but at the core of them was a simple critique of me and my lifestyle. Not so much my gay lifestyle, but a lifestyle of honesty and bluntness, and perhaps not-always-popular-opinion made unabashedly known. I was hated, and criticized, for being myself. Not always without reason, but often. And so my ‘Apology’ was born. Birthed from an exasperation of being attacked (you should see what people write to me on FaceBook and Twitter – I may be a bitch, but I rarely do it on someone else’s wall), it came from a dark place, an angry and defensive place, and as such it alienated just about everyone. (When you only have five viewers, it’s probably not the wisest move to make them all mad.) But I knew I needed to be alone then, so I did it.

On each page of the Project, I copied and printed out the worst letters that people had written to me (including all my friends who were about to receive it). On the back of each page I wrote a response to each of the accusations, outwardly apologizing for whatever bad things I had supposedly done, while rather transparently mocking such attacks. It was petty and childish – and it got the point across. But being right is a lonely place to be.

Twenty years later, I’m still fending off unfair characterizations, unprovoked attacks, and misplaced blame. I think I’m a little better at dealing with them now. Yet every once in a while I feel it may be time for a New Apology. (And before the next volley of criticism comes this way, please remember that no matter how cruel you think I sometimes am to others, no matter how cutting and critical, it is nothing compared to the atrocities I inflict upon myself. You don’t need to believe it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.)

Last Sunday, when returning from Boston, I drove through the thickest fog I’ve ever seen in my life. The foot of snow from the storm a few days prior was turning directly into fog as temperatures soared into the 60’s. It made for a few wondrous, and dangerous, patches of greatly-reduced visibility. Fog has always proved dangerously questionable for me, both in real life and in fiction, but this one was affecting everyone. Cars would disappear suddenly, enveloped by the water vapor, then the road would go, and with it the guidelines – and to be plunged into blindness so quickly is a terror you don’t want to know.

It wasn’t so much the disconcerting lack of guideposts and signs – it was the rush into the unknown. It felt like no matter how much I slowed it was still coming too quickly, like I might crash into some roadblock or stranded vehicle without warning or notice. Eventually I caught up to another car with its hazards on, going about my speed but even more cautiously. I stayed close until the fog dispersed. It was a relief to see that someone else was out there, that someone else was scared. We parted when we could see again, and when another patch came along I was already well-past my foul-weather friend.

From my family to you and yours, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. If you’re stopping by here on this day of all days, it means you’re part of my family too.

Having worked in retail for a few years, and having been quite good at it, I know first-hand how difficult it can be for sales associates in the holiday season. I’ve been yelled at and treated rudely, ignored and abused, pushed aside and shoved, but I never faltered in my smile and robotic politeness. (In my younger years, I had more patience and tolerance for those things, especially when a job depended on it.) For those reasons, I have a soft spot in my heart for those retail folks who are just trying to do their job and not be blasted for it.

That said, I can also tell when a retail associate is just being rude and dismissive, or shouldn’t be on the floor at a certain point. A guy by the name of Brad, the supposed Tommy Hilfiger expert at Macy’s in Downtown Boston, seemed to have reached that point when Kira and I were waiting in his line. After standing there for a few minutes, and grateful to be in a line that didn’t seem very long, we were told that we would need to find another line (he suddenly had a dilemma of some sort that was never fully explained). It sounded like he was just exasperated by his job at that moment, which I get, but the way to handle it is to suck it up and tell anyone else that the line was closed after that.

Oddly enough, Kira was more upset by this than I was, loudly stating that it wasn’t very good customer service (!) and that he should have told us that before we were waiting in line. Which was a good point – none of this would have been an issue but for the fact that he threw us out of the line after we’d been standing in it.

We found another line, with a much friendlier associate, who asked how our shopping experience was going. So I told her, not in a nasty way, but in a constructively critical manner (because if you offend someone as normally meek and sweet as Kira, you’ve really acted out of line). This associate said that she was not a fan of Brad either, so I mentioned she could feel free to tell her manager about the incident. Luckily, or unluckily for Brad, the manager was right there, so I told her about it directly, and said that I understood what it’s like working at this time of the year, but there are better ways to handle a line of three people. She thanked me for letting her know (I really wasn’t mean about it) and assured us she would be talking to Brad. Whether or not she does is beyond my control or care at this point. We thanked her for listening and went on our merry way. All’s well that ends well. (Sorry, Brad.)

The shortest day of the year just passed, so it’s only going to get lighter and brighter from here on out. That’s a happy sign, even if it means winter has just begun. The last week was a relatively quiet one as the holiday reaches its climax in a few short days. I’m working on an end-of-the-year pair of posts to fully recap the year that came before, but I may just post a few pics and let them speak for themselves. There’s much to be done, but first the usual Monday look back.

Tis’ the season for beating the drum, and beating the bishop.

Eating of The Cock.

The Madonna Timeline was seasonally appropriate, with ‘Masterpiece‘.

Hunks were decked out in all their shirtlessness, and several nude male celebrities made their debut here, including Will Smith, Ben Foden, Brandon Beemer, Brian Shimansky, Nolan Funk, and Konstantinos Frantzis.

Holiday memories of staircases and ornaments, and the year without Christmas.

Finally, the first photos of the kitchen-in-progress.

It doesn’t bode well that it feels like we’ve been having winter for several weeks already. That today is the actually starting day is quite upsetting. At times like this, I find it’s best to put your faith in God. Jesus take the wheel. Let go and Let God. The price is right. Blessed Be. Don’t go for second best, baby. Jesus is the reason for the season. Too blessed to be stressed. YOLO.

(See what the holidays are doing to me?)

As for the first day of winter, I’ll be in Boston for it, writing out my wishes and burning them from the bathroom window.