Category Archives: General

Winter Desperation in a Mall

Ok, so technically maybe the Prudential Center is not exactly a mall – but it’s close enough in these times when malls are no longer the rage. This stand of ferns was planted beneath a spreading banyan tree, whose roots reached down from the air in tropical wonder, while a few feet outside the glass windows the winter wind raged. We will take our bits of beauty and balm where we can find them. If there’s some greenery involved in the middle of February, that’s a bonus. These are the little tricks that see us through the crueler months, and just because you find yourself walking through somewhere as common as the Pru doesn’t mean there aren’t quieter enchantments for the finding. This little stretch is always a happy trail – bright with all the windows and openness of the space – and it’s filled with a seasonally-updated collection of plants beneath the steadfast trees lining the walkway.

It leads to a bookstore – they once could be found around every corner, now they are an endangered species – and then to the entrance/exit closest to the condo, so I find myself here often, especially in the extreme-temperature months. It’s an oasis of sorts, and during lonelier times I would come here and sit, soaking in the light and the plants, calming the turbulent heart, waiting for the winter to pass.

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A Recap on This Presidential Day

The less said about the current state of political affairs, the better. I’ll just leave you with the hashtag everyone seemed to be using when Trump went golfing during a self-declared National Emergency: #MarALardAss. Now, let’s take a quick look back at the week that came before, then move quickly on to the week – and months, ahead. Spring shall return. Easter is around the corner. We are on the right track.

Things started off in promising fashion with Zac Efron shirtless and bulging in this hot post

This larch wept beauty in the winter

Force it until it pops

The platonic Valentine.

Broken Valentine wings

Open your heart to Madonna’s Valentine music.

Miso soup for winter. 

Before I even realized he was going to drop trou officially, this gratuitous Shawn Mendes shirtless post went up. 

Another winter weekend in Boston, under the sea.

Shawn Mendes debuted his bulge and became the new face and body of Calvin Klein. 

A beautiful Valentine’s Day gift from Andy: ‘Beau de Jour’ by Tom Ford

Additional undersea antics from Boston. 

Follow these #TinyThreads for some light-hearted thoughtless fun. 

 

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Beneath the Winter Sea

Ahh, the aquarium.

It’s my favorite section of ‘The Carnival of Animals’ by Camille Saint-Saens ~ it manages to evoke the undulating flow of water and magic beneath the surface, along with evoking so much more ~ mystery, tension, wonder, beauty, tranquility, and the unknown. I’ve always felt a powerful peace when in the presence of an aquarium. Life is quieter under the water. It’s slower and more languid. There is violence there too, I suppose, but danger is everywhere when you think about it. It hints, rather terrifyingly, at the immensity of the world’s bodies of water. Lake or sea, river or ocean ~ each can overwhelm and astound with their vastness, their variety, their untamed wilderness.

Maybe we feel better when we take a few drops and encase it in glass where it can be controlled, where we might have a modicum of power. Maybe an aquarium is our way of mastering a natural element that would otherwise drown us. Or maybe we just like to capture and covet pretty things. The flower power of the sea anemone. The ribbon-like sinewy grace of a moray eel. This boxy little creature with the doe-like eyes and mottled skin. We want our beauty close and contained.

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The First Rescinded Hunk of the Day: Ricky Rebel

So… Ricky Rebel wore this to the Grammy Awards the other night, and tweeted out his support of Donald Trump. Ick, eww, gross. For that reason, his Hunk of the Day honor (which may have brought him more recognition than the Grammy voters deigned to give him considering that he’s never even been nominated) has been changed slightly. This site has no place for supporting such a hateful political stance, and someone wrote it up much better than I could when it comes to anyone who supports Trump at this point:

“I am unconcerned that we have different politics. I do not think less of you because you voted one way and I voted another. We need people to vote and the candidate we select is not always going to win. It is hoped that we will have someone who is competent enough to run our country. That didn’t happen in the last election. We got a thin-skinned egomaniac who has never been held accountable for any atrocities he has committed.

Let me be clear. I think less of you because you watched an adult mock a disabled man in front of a crowd and you still supported him. I think less of you because you saw a man spouting clear racism and you cheered for him. I think less of you because of your willingness to support someone who openly admires dictators and demonizes the press and anyone who criticizes him. I think less of you because you heard him advocate for war crimes and you still thought he should run this country. I think less of you because you watched him equate a woman’s worth to her appearance and you thought that was okay. I think less of you because you’ve seen his appointees systematically destroy legal protections and loot the tax payers money and you are ok with that. You watched, along with the rest of the nation, as he separated families and locked innocent children in dog cages and you were not horrified as the rest of us were. You refuse to accept the fact that this man wants to work with dictators but has alienated our long standing allies. I think less of you because you refuse to review the facts and accept that this man is lying to you on a daily basis. It isn’t your politics I find repulsive. It is your willingness to support racism, sexism, misogyny, and cruelty that I find repulsive. You supported a tyrant and bully when it mattered and that is something I will never forgive or forget. Your lack of morals and basic humanity are devastating to me.

There are some things I can never be civil about: concentration camps, genocide, white supremacy, misogyny, harm to children, mass trauma, state violence, rising fascism, to name a few. There is NO civil discussion with someone who agrees with putting children in dog cages.

So, no…you and I will never be “coming together” to move forward or whatever. Trump literally disgusts me and I hate the sound of his voice spewing hate and dividing the country but, the fact that he doesn’t disgust you is something that is going to stick with me long after this presidency. You have shown me who you really are and the fact that you still support this monster and rush to justify everything he does makes me feel that we have nothing to discuss.”

 

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A Friendly Valentine

“We have all a sufficiently hard battle to fight in life and we fight it a great deal better from feeling that we have a wall of friendship which we stand up against and have only to think about the foe in front of us.” ~ Isabella Stewart Gardner

When you think about it, the first way most of us learn about Valentine’s Day is not in any romantic sense, but in a loving friendship sort of way. In grade school, we were tasked with creating card receptacles for any Valentines we would receive. These little bags were secured to the edge of our desks, and we would go around and deposit the Valentine’s Day cards we wished in our classmates’ bags. Looking back, this feels extremely dangerous – it left the possibility for empty bags for the unpopular among us, and though that never happened to my recollection, it did make it obvious whose bags were full and whose were notably on the lighter side. I’m trying to remember if I was ever cruel enough to not give out a card to anyone, and though it sounds like something I might relish in doing (especially to Sammy, who was mean as a viper to many of us) I honestly think my mother made me fill out cards for everyone.

Back then, Valentine’s Day was a frivolous and frilly holiday where some of my favorite colors were celebrated and sanctioned for all (pink and red, whoo-hoo!!!) Hearts and flowers were the order of the day, and I loved both. It was a day of artifice – of lace doilies and conversation candy in all sorts of pastels – and I thrilled at it all. Underneath that, however, was the collection of Valentine cards from all my classmates. I was popular enough to get one from everyone – even Sammy, I’m pretty sure – and most came with personal messages from friends. How could anyone not like such a day? That celebration of love – in the name of friendship – has remained with me over the years. Despite the awfulness that became the holiday once I was old enough to be cognizant of being single and alone during my early twenty-something years, part of it still touched my heart. Yes, it’s silly and foolish and an absolute travesty to celebrate not being alone (as if there’s anything intrinsically better about someone who has paired off), I still believe in the celebration of love. When it’s the platonic love among lifelong friends, how can anyone be bitter about that?

Eventually we outgrew the Valentine Card bags, and even the friendships of grade school. Yet whenever ‘That’s What Friends Are For’ plays in a store or on the radio, I think back to the group we were then, back when we as kids were all more or less friendly in spite of our gender or race or financial situations. When left to our own devices, we as children tend to have our shit together better than most adults who only want to separate and label and divide. Valentine’s Day reminds me of that love.

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Forcing the Spring Through Shades of Coral

The fiery shadings of the Coral Bark maple lend pizzazz to the winter garden. They rings of a deeper red when brought inside at this time of the year, and when I added them to a bouquet of evergreens during the holiday season, I thought that was all I needed. Then they started budding out at the end of their vase life, which gave me an idea to try my hand at forcing a new batch.

Regardless of whether or not it works, they make a finely handsome statement as they are – subtle yet elegant, and the shading of the bark is just enough to ensure that this is more than a bunch of dead branches. If they are good enough to pop into a few chartreuse pom-poms of maple foliage, so much the merrier.

To force branches in the winter (think forsythia or cherry or any early-blooming tree), I usually find a pocket of relatively warmer days (last week’s quick thaw of 50 degree days worked well) and cut off a few prime stems. (If you notice that there are tiny buds ready to swell, that’s an indication they may force well.)

With smaller branches, it’s best to soak them in a large bucket of lukewarm water for a few hours (completely submerged if possible) to rehydrate their system. The branches here were too long and unwieldy to fit into a bucket, so I gave them a shower – literally, in the bathroom – for a few minutes, wetting every inch of them and letting them take in as much as possible before re-cutting their stems and plunging them into a vase.

We shall see if they deign to send forth a few leaves. I do so hope it happens – it would be lovely at such a barren time of the year. Keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer for this coral-barked beauty.

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A Funky February Recap

No real reason for this to be funky, other than I’m in a funky way. I don’t mean deep-groove funk, I mean funky in the strange, odd, off-kilter way of full-moon moments, or when Mercury is in retrograde. I don’t know if either of those things is happening right now, and that’s probably for the best. May ignorance be bliss. On with the weekly recap…

A really bad parking job

Chris Hemsworth gratuitously shirtless

Adam Levine’s nipples

Tiny Threads run on and on

Best life hack ever? Possibly. 

Eyes of winter.

Tulip curves.

Sky of winter

When Iris eyes are smiling.

Life in miniature.

Tillandsia heads.

My days at the roller skating rink.

Hunks of the Day included: Gabriel Phoenix, Jordan Fisher, David Andrews, and Beau Mirchoff.

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Winter Sky Illuminated

The sky in winter is usually more somber and subtle than the flaming sort of shows we get in summer, but every once in a while it does its best to thrill in the face of all the grey, especially when there are clouds with which to paint and play. I caught Andy looking wistfully out the window at the winter scene the other day; he loves summer best of all, when his back can be eased by a daily dip in the pool, or a bloom from a climbing rose can be clipped for his side table. I miss summer too. The good news is that we are almost halfway through the winter season. Days are elongating, and daylight lasts a few minutes more as we gradually gain speed to spring. The lion’s entrance of March is but a few weeks away…

“Sometimes I think, were I just a little rougher made, I would go altogether to the woods—to my work entirely, and solitude, a few friends, books, my dogs, all things peaceful, ready for meditation and industry—if for no other reason than to escape the heart-jamming damages and discouragements of the worlds mean spirits. But, no use. Even the most solitudinous of us is communal by habit, and indeed by commitment to the bravest of our dreams, which is to make a moral world. The whirlwind of human behavior is not to be set aside.”
― Mary Oliver, Winter Hours 

 

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Best Life Hack Ever? Quite possibly…

Very rarely does one of those impossibly-hyped life-changing hacks you see online ever pan out into something that actually improves, or even changes, one’s life. This time, it’s different. And if you’ve ever been in the situation where you have received one of those all-purpose gift cards from Mastercard or Visa, but don’t know how to use it in tandem with your regular credit card online, this may help you out.

These general cards differ from the gift cards to specific stores in that they function more like credit cards, with strict limits. As such, they have to be used as the main credit card for online purchases, and most sites don’t allow you to split credit cards for a purchase as you would usually be able to do in person by asking the cashier to type in a specific dollar amount. If your purchase happens to go over the value of the gift card, it will be declined, even if you were planning to pay the difference with another card. That makes things difficult, particularly if you want to use the average gift card towards the purchase of something grander (which is often my case, because Tom Ford Private Blends require that little extra something to make their exorbitant cost more reasonable).

For that reason, I’ve always had problems with making the most out of these general gift cards. Often I would end up giving Andy the card and asking him to buy me something in exchange because it got to be too complicated to use them. This semi-quick fix allows you to use a general gift card in addition to whatever other online payment you wish to supplement your purchase.

The first step is to go to whatever site you want to buy from. If they offer gift cards for purchase, buy one in the exact amount of your general gift card, and then use that to pay for it. If it’s going right to you, you should receive an e-mail with the new card info in it. After that, simply add to your cart and when you’re ready to purchase, enter the store’s gift card in, and whatever supplemental method of payment you want to use. Normally there is no limit to however many store gift cards you can use. It’s a neat way to combine those general credit cards when you’re shopping online.

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The Hate Debate Over Adam Levine’s Nipples

We are definitely living in a toxic internet land. Once upon a time one could make an innocuous shirtless post about Adam Levine and have a few of his fans write something fun and nice and everyone would call it a day. Those who didn’t find Mr. Levine their cup of tea moved on without comment, because why would they even bother with something that didn’t interest them? Not so anymore. This post about Adam Levine performing at the Super Bowl, and this subsequent post about his shirtless appearance at said bowl, garnered some of the most polarizing views on any of my posts. (Let it be said that these were superficial shirtless posts – that’s sort of the point of the ‘Shirtless Male Celebrities‘ category. It’s not that deep.)

It did, however, bring up a more serious consideration in light of Mr. Levine baring both his nipples in his shirtless portion of the program.

A number of years ago, Janet Jackson was basically stoned for baring one half-second of a single nipple at the Super Bowl halftime show with Justin Timberlake. I posted the comment that it was a bit of a double standard, hashtagging the whole #FreeTheNipple movement. (Look it up – I’m not here to educate or enlighten – I’m here to entertain myself. Emphasis on myself.) Again, just my commentary on the fact that Ms. Jackson, or any female for that matter, would not be able to get away with showing their nipples during the Super Bowl. Rather than acknowledging this or engaging in a civil conversation, people immediately went into whether they loved it or hated it, whether they adored Adam or abhorred Adam, and suddenly a post on a shirtless Adam Levine was as divisive as political commentary. What the actual fuck?

Now, I’m not saying there isn’t time or space for serious discussion and contemplation here. But on a shirtless Super Bowl shot? If that riles you up so much, and if you have so much anger and annoyance that you simply must comment and piss other people off, then this really isn’t the place for you. Please, stop reading, unfollow and unfriend, block and push off, because I’m not here for that. Calm the fuck down and channel your energy into something better.

Like a mood-killer-filler blog post such as this.

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Who Would Do Such a Thing?

People never fail to disappoint me.

Take this asshole for example.

They took up two parking spaces for no reason other than, presumably, to be a complete and utter asshole.

This was the busy parking lot of the Honest Weight Coop, close to the entrance, where every space counts, but this person felt they were important enough to merit two.

Shame.

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A Frosty Recap Made Hot By Adam Levine

The rollercoaster that is Northeast weather took a few ups and downs this past week, and quite frankly my mind is not quite equipped to make sense of it all. On a meteorologically stable day I can be prone to moodiness – throw in temperature shifts of 60 degrees from day to day and you’re looking at the makings of a mental/emotional vortex beyond the imaginings of your mind. Forewarned is fairwarned, especially when fair weather is not on the horizon. On with the Monday recap…

A simple but beautiful bouquet.

More beauty, honest beauty

A naked James McAvoy in motion. 

Virtual Sunday brunch.

February arrived without fanfare, but with a freeze.

Follow these Tiny Threads and keep warm. 

Shirtless malaise.

A One-Act Text Play.

Super Jock Post!

A shirtless Adam Levine took it off for his Super Bowl climax. 

Hunks of the Day included Bradley Cooper, Kyle Dean Massey, Ty Mitchell, Tyler Curry-McGrath, Aaron Tveit, Wilson Lai, Sean McVay, and Ted Rath.

 

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Winter Malaise

Discontent.

Ennui.

Rawness.

That pretty much sums up the last few days. Winter has settled in, the polar vortex has sent a magenta chill through the heart of the country, and despite a relatively healthy start to the year, the excitement and thrill of such a change of pace has dulled to a drudge-like burden. Still, we press onward…

Maybe such a malaise is the product not only of the winter season, but of getting older in general. Forty-three years of anything, especially living, can wear away at the wonder of the world. I’m trying to forge inspiration and interest with a new project, yet even that is proving challenging. It’s all about getting in the right mindset and being open to what the universe is whispering. Winter winds simply make it more difficult to listen.

I do my best to center myself. Yoga. Meditation. Burning incense.

I seek quiet and peace in a long, indulgently-hot shower scented with rosewater and accompanied by a candle. Andy delivers a bouquet of flowers – tulips and iris – while a hyacinth bulb in a vase of water is finally coming into fragrant bloom. It’s the closest thing we have to a garden right now.

The White Flower Farm spring catalog arrived a few days ago. I’ve been earmarking pages with ideas and plans, and when I’m done I’ll pass it along to Suzie to see if it sparks her perpetually-put-off dream garden. They’ve got the land and space to do it, but they’ve also got an enormous black walnut that makes things tricky. A raised bed might do the trick; otherwise a bit of research on what plants won’t be bothered by the walnut’s expansive spread will be needed.

That’s how to get through these days: living largely in the mind.

Daydreaming of sunnier scenes.

Plotting out garden plants.

Working on a new project.

Winding along the days of winter…

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The Shortest Longest Month: February

I know it’s technically short, but it feels so especially long. Our last full month of winter is upon us. Let’s get it over with – the sooner it starts, the sooner it’s over. This is usually a messy month. Snowstorms and freezing and thaws and birds and dirt and salt… winter’s ugliness at its worst with little hope on the horizon. We try to find comfort in cozy fireside scenes, folding ourselves into a book, dropping into a cup of hot tea, or ducking into a local greenhouse. (If you’re near an indoor botanical garden, what a lovely circumstance!) I tend to find cut flowers even more of a comfort now, and I noticed that the very first cut daffodils of the season are starting to appear in the market – their sunny shades and happy fragrance such welcome harbingers of a spring that still feels so far away.

February holds its own charms, even as it freezes and fusses, throwing snowy tantrums and pouting like a spoiled child. Such is the province of this month, when Valentine’s Day rears its silly head, past Presidents remind us of what used to be a glorious office, and the weather begins the roller coaster of high winter. Here’s a quick look-back at some other February incidents. 

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