Category Archives: General

Sometimes we don’t get to choose where our talents lie. ~ Don Draper

When the world rocks you for a bit, when you’re hit with realizations that we are only getting older, it’s good to do a few things. First, try a vacation. We just did that in Savannah (write-up coming when I can find a hot minute). Second, try a meditative movie or series. As odd as it sounds, The whole ‘Lord of the Rings’ series has a very Zen-like quality to it, despite the action and tension and occasionally violent moment. Same thing with the duet of ‘Kill Bill,’ which is even more violent, but just as meditative in my warped mind. Add to that the entire ‘Mad Men’ series, which evokes an era so perfectly one feels transported, and taken out of whatever state of worry or concern that might otherwise dominate. Yet it also feels entirely of-the-moment and modern – the very best sort of entertainment that manages to touch on the timeless and universal. 

I have been watching my life. It’s right there. I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it. I can’t.~ Don Draper

It was a time of innocence, dirtiness, decadence, hope, and despair. The sparkle and decay of the American dream. The cruelty of how we try to relate, connect, and love each other. The image. The veneer. The sheen. The danger of going deeper. 

People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be. – Don Draper

A Monday night recap, courtesy of April, leaps up like a frog, all spring eagerness and excitement, coupled with annoyance and impatience. April is messy like that. On with the last week before we get deep into the next one…

It began in fitting spring form, with a pair of ducks crossing a street in downtown Saratoga, as ducks are wont to do. 

It doesn’t get much more epic than Rob Gronkowski sniffing Zac Efron’s Freedom Speedo while The Rock looks on admiringly. 

Gimme an ‘A’!

These #TinyThreads all lead somewhere… right?

The Jonas Brothers went all Cool. 

The beauty of being in the bed.

Chromantics across the sea.

The Madonna Timeline returned with ‘Forbidden Love‘ from the ‘Bedtime Stories’ album.

Shawn Mendes in shirtless motion.

Ladies & gentlemen: the Grasshopper.  

Hunks of the Day included Jacob Whitesides, Julian Jiamachello, Charles-Laurent, Gethin Jones, Kris Kelly, and Gavin Creel. 

“The more so, I say, because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself. If you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more.

For this reason a sleeping apartment should never be furnished with a fire, which is one of the luxurious discomforts of the rich. For the height of this sort of deliciousness is to have nothing but the blanket between you and your snugness and the cold of the outer air. Then there you lie like the one warm spark in the heart of an arctic crystal.” ~ Herman Melville, ‘Moby Dick’

It’s best to sleep in a cool room. There’s an old adage that claims benefits and health to the practice of sleeping in cooler temperatures, and I’m all about it. As Melville so perfectly renders it, the contrast between a cozy bed and a chilly interior is what enables us to enjoy the comfort of the thing. It also makes getting up on a winter morning the stuff of trolls and devils. Some of us weren’t made for such hardships.

Personally, I’ve always preferred being on the cool side. It is much easier to warm up than to cool down. A sweater, a blanket, a cape, a turban – the options for gathering heat are many, and fabulous. When you’re trying to cool down, there is just so much nakedness you can achieve before the public calls the police. (I won’t even mention the difficulty of stripping down in an office setting, well, beyond this anyway.) The point is, it’s easier to add than take away. Think of it like using spices, and turn down your thermostat at night. Saves energy too.

The return of the Jonas Brothers continues with their latest single ‘Cool’ dropping any minute now. I enjoyed the video and song for their recent ‘Sucker’ but beyond these parts I’m not sure how much of an impact it had. They’ve definitely upped their imagery of late, even if their shirtless exploits will always be preferable to just about anything else. (Except maybe full-frontal male nudity…) Anyway, check out ‘Cool’ when it becomes available – I will too. 

Bulge note: much ado is being made over the crotch area of the Nick Jonas photo seen below. Everybody wants to see VPL, especially on Nick Jonas apparently. It’s here for purely academic purposes. 

Sometimes you happen to be in the right place at the right time to see something whimsical, adorable, and perfect for spring. That place happened to be Saratoga as two ducks made their way along a crosswalk and the traffic waited for them to pass. I don’t usually bother to whip my phone camera out to capture such sights, but I did this time, just as they made their way safely across the street. It was a happy ending, as we later passed them again dawdling near a building. 

Who knew that Saratoga was so ducky? I thought horses were their thing…

I find it hard to believe that people are still falling for the full frontal jokes of this day, but silliness can be contagious, and I’ve been afflicted. On with the recap of the last week, in which Mercury finally slid out of retrograde and hopefully restored some order into life. 

It began with a blue spruce in a blue sky. 

These threads are not golden, but still worth a look. 

Spring + Ice = Sprice. 

The Beekman Boys introduced me to HSN.

Pietro Boselli’s butt.

The Madonna/Warren Beatty duet from ‘I’m Breathless’ and the summer of ‘Dick Tracy’.

This bird was the word. 

Chris Evans: shirtless American superhero. 

I need it, I want it, if you get it I will flaunt it. 

Isn’t it Chromantic?

Hunks of the Day included Peter Hermann, Mike Trout, Evan Antin, Jonathan Knight, Michael Berresse, and Ben Hunte.

Some television theme songs are infinitely better than the show they actually introduce. ‘Falcon Crest’ was always that way with me. Part of it was that it was on after our bedtime, so this was all we could usually get away with watching before being forced upstairs. But even in later years, when I could stay up to watch, the opening theme was always better than whatever followed. Even with Jane Wyman. 

On this Friday, here’s a little memory for those who share my love of opening themes. 

Only the Beekman Boys could get me to tune into the Home Shopping Network and then actually purchase something. Their products are so good, and their explanations and knowledge so convincing that the goat milk soap and lotion they were peddling were too good to pass up, especially at the special prices.

I’ve long been a Beekman 1802 fan, and even at full price their goods are more than worth it. Quality and customer care shouldn’t come cheap, and supporting a local upstate New York farm comes with its own sense of doing something better for the community. The use of natural ingredients (in this case goat’s milk) is something else to feel good about – not only for its environmental health, but also for its soothing properties and scientifically sound explanation on why it’s so much better for the skin. (They made a compelling word picture of describing how oil and petroleum simply sit on top of water while something like milk mixes with it – a powerful testament to how most soaps and lotions stay on top instead of absorbing and hydrating the skin. Listen to them tell it, it’s much more entertaining.)

I wanted to try just about everything, and much was selling out, but I disciplined myself to one blind-buy: the Fig Leaf Whipped Body Cream – better known as the Voluptuous Fig. Whether it was Brent’s seductive way of rolling off the name, the luscious description of the cream itself, or the way it thickly clung to Josh’s fingers clearly depicting its substance, I was sold. It helped that I loved all things fig too.

For the remainder of items, I’m planning on making the short pilgrimage to their brick and mortar store in Sharon Springs – just a hop, skip and jump away from Albany – in order to try out the other scents and products. It’s been a few years since we last visited and we are overdue for such beauty.

The new thing is making words up, or so I’m telling people, and I’m all about the new thing. Today that word is ‘sprice’ – which in its original long-winded form translates as ‘spring ice’ – something we had the misfortune of finding in our backyard thanks to a wayward sprinkler system. A small spray of water coated and transformed a lace-cap hydrangea during a windy and cold day this past weekend, hopefully not killing it in the process. In the sunlight and against the blue sky, it made for a beautiful, if slightly disturbing, scene.

These early days of spring are so iffy, like the season is not quite ready to arrive or reveal itself. Winter’s tail-whip can lash back worse than that demon did in ‘Lord of the Rings’ – you shall not pass and all that jazz. We won’t make it out of the winter wilderness for certain until May.

That won’t stop us from dreaming.

Ice, ice baby, indeed.

Just when you think the world has gone all brown and gray, something like this pops in at the tail-end of a lunch-time walk, and everything is exciting again. A blue spruce illuminated by the afternoon soon, framed by an expanse of blue sky. There’s a clarity at this time of the year that you can’t usually find in summer or later spring. It echoes the crisp, clear atmosphere of fall, which makes sense.

For some reason I’ve always been resistant to embracing evergreens. Something in me wanted more dramatic transformation during the year – the shedding of a wardrobe and the regrowth of a new one each season. Evergreens go through their own growth spurts, usually of a brighter green and softer texture – that tender spring time when things haven’t been hardened off yet, when a killing frost might just do that if one decided to linger.

Not so for the branch in this photo. It’s been put through the winter ringer and paid its dues. A grizzled and fortified collection of pin-prick-like arrows, protecting any pinecone carriage and fending off any wayward predators unlikely to attack from the sidewalk below or sky above. I admire such resilience and strength, particularly in the face of our winters. I also admire such simple beauty. Nature knows exactly what she’s doing.

We shall see whether the month exits like a lamb or retains its lion-like properties. Personally, I love a lion. Weather-wise, however, we are ready for something gentler. If it’s a quiet lion, soft and demure, then it is welcome. Otherwise, cue the lambily’s entrance. Or exit. Whatever. On with this recap as sponsored by Mercury in retrograde…

Follow these little threads back to their beginning.

Adam Levine celebrated his birthday in his birthday suit. 

Is this what God sounds like?

Spring on the ascent. 

Madonna’s ‘Like A Prayer’ album turned 30 years old. 

Crotch-shot homage. 

The magic of Savannah approaches. 

Spring cleaning and daydreaming. 

The things I regret… and the things I don’t. 

You better let somebody love you before it’s too late. 

Rob Gronkowski: the naked retiree. 

Hunks of the Day included Michael Campayno, Jack Savoretti, Duncan Keith, and Brian Jordan Alvarez.

Last week we had the first day of spring, a full moon, and Mercury was still in retrograde (a sorry state that continues through the first half of this week). How we made it through that mess is something I’ll never understand (assuming we did in fact make it through – at the time of this writing we are still in it). 

The last thing the internet is needs is another crappy, poorly-shot moon photo, but too fucking bad. You’re getting two. I love when the moon hangs low, and when it wobbles to and fro. Perched in a tree, or slung over the sea, it’s a thing of beauty, even if it inspires lunacy. Among the lunatics, there is a certain thread of truth running through the loopy. I dwell in the realm of such lunacy, and the land of strange truth. The moon brings it all out.

Good luck to all of us swayed by its pull and transfixed by its spell.

Pleated pants.

Appletinis.

Feathered hair.

Any clothing from International Male.

Platinum blonde crew cut and purple eyebrows.

Gold chains worn earnestly.

Writing love letters to guys before the first date.

Writing love letters to guys after the first date.

Skiing.

Stalking. 

Being callous.

Gauze. [See also International Male above.]

Hating on Anderson Cooper.

Hating on anyone.

Hating.

The fourth martini.

School glamour shots. 

That poet’s shirt.

Well, any poet’s shirt.

Not visiting my uncle when he got sick.

Velour.

Fighting instead of listening.

Planting a cherry tree in the middle of the backyard.

Failing to invest in the internet.

Taking a wrong turn in Rochester and hitting the curb.

The goatee.

But then again…

Non, je ne regrette rien.

At this early stage of spring, it’s a little silly to start planning for summer, but that’s not stopping me. If I stopped doing things, or wearing things, or saying things, just because they were silly, I’d have stopped everything years ago. Bring on the silly, and bring on the summer planning. There’s a floral party on the horizon, to go with the upcoming project, but it’s a quieter, more intimate event – and family-friendly too, meaning the kids are all invited. The pool should be open by then, so that will work. (It’s much easier to host children when they have the run of the outside.)

In addition to the usual spring cleaning (dusting and polishing everything in sight, including the far reaches of the floor) there are more seasonal duties to fulfill, such as bringing the attic-bound banana and angel’s trumpet trees back from the brink of hibernation. This was actually started a while ago, when I re-introduced water into their pots. Since October, they’ve been occupying the unheated, but insulated, side of the attic near a small window. Stripped of most of their leaves by fall, they have since put out a few straggling shoots, none of which will likely survive a move outside into any sort of wind. Luckily, the rest of the stems and roots have survived, and once the warm weather begins in earnest, their growth should be quick and impressive. I’m especially looking forward to seeing what the banana tree will do in its second year here. It’s due for an even larger pot, which typically means even larger growth. I’m planning on getting a second one, since they lend an easy tropical feel to the yard.

As for other plans, summer music is another way of creating atmosphere and memories. Last year, it wastes little collection of songs that brought to mind the sunny season:

• Don’t Dream It’s Over
• The Glory of Love
• Holding Back the Years
• Count on Me 
• One Day
• Andante, Andante

Before then it was the summer of ‘Dear Evan Hansen’:

• Waving Through A Window
• You Will Be Found
• For Forever

Now I’m obsessed with the 60’s moogarific themes of the ‘Ocean’s 8’ soundtrack, so that may play a part. It goes well with the ‘Four Rooms’ lounge vibe I’ve used for years. All bring to mind happy days putting the patio awning back up and assembling the potted plants. This is my favorite moment. Anticipation. Hope. The whole of the season spread out before us.

These are the days. It’s happening again.

Rising like the big JC Himself, today heralds the return of spring! Amen and Halleluh!! (That’s the extent of my Drag Race references, and I know it was several seasons ago but I just can’t be bothered to keep up anymore.) Coming in the midst of Mercury’s Retrograde madness, spring has the onerous distinction of arriving while things are crazy and hectic. Only through deliberate determination to remain calm and not ruffle feathers have I maintained some semblance of sanity these past few weeks, and I’ll grant that it is the merest resemblance. Thankfully, it hasn’t been that difficult. Laying low is an art form, and I intend to make some serious art in the next few weeks.

My new project is practically completed – a month before I anticipated or hoped – which means I can begin planning a little promotional push for late spring/early summer. (Relax, it won’t be nearly as extensive or naked as the last one.) This is a smaller project – a little personal gift to those who mean the most to me. It’s also a completely new realm of work for me, so it’s amateurish and unpolished, but it was so fun to do I don’t care.

That’s the breath of fresh air that this spring, and this website, needs – so welcome to the new season. See the pretty flowers and smell their happy perfume. Pet the furry bunnies and hold the baby goats. Indulge in the moments before it all lets loose.

Spring is here!