While Cristiano Ronaldo will always pale in comparison to David Beckham and Ben Cohen, he is not without a sizable fan base, some of whom will no doubt enjoy examining these photos and GIFs of the shirtless rugby star in his new line of underwear. Proof that Ben & Beckham don’t have a monopoly on briefs and bulges, these underwear shots don’t quite have me convinced that Ronaldo is the heir-apparent to the sexy-back throne, but he’s definitely a contender.
Littered with hubris, dismissive of comments, and vainglorious of content, I’ve never made a secret that this place is as self-serving as it gets. Which is what a personal website should be. The same goes for my FaceBook and Twitter and Instagram profiles. You are free to not visit if what I do is so offensive and tasteless to you.
A few days ago, someone reported the photos below and FaceBook and Instagram decided to remove them. At first it was mildly annoying. I’ve run afoul of their “nudity/pornography†standards once or twice in the past (those pics mostly happened in Las Vegas – they’re here somewhere – I would search for them if I were you). This time around, however, it irked me that someone had gone out of their way to report a harmless jockstrap photo. (Here’s where I turn into a bit of a twat, so skip ahead if you don’t need/deserve to hear it.) If what I post bothers you, defriend me or stop following me, because quite frankly I have no idea who you are, nor do I care to find out. I guarantee that I’m not visiting your page or profile, and there’s a good chance I don’t even know you exist. You’re not on my radar, but clearly I’m on yours. (Cunty rant over.)
So I got off for a while. FaceBook, that is, to see how it would affect my website stats. I expected a slight downturn, as it seemed that so many of the hits for this site were driven by FaceBook, but I was pleasantly surprised. Rather than hurt website traffic, it actually improved it. (We clocked our biggest number of hits in a month – over 11 million – neatly beating this banner month.) It turns out that if you can’t see something because FaceBook or Instagram removed it, you have to come here to view it. So to the person that reported my jockstrap bulge for its obscene and pornographic nature, thank you. And please, do it again. I know you’ll be watching me. You can’t help it.
Sorry, I’d much rather see Tom Brady, or at the very least Rob Gronkowski, in a jockstrap (or out of one), but they didn’t return my calls in time so you’ll have to make do with my dick and ass.
There are only a few more years (months?) that my body will be able to squeeze into a jockstrap, so here is our semi-annual jockstrap photo shoot, in honor of the World Series – and the Boston Red Sox. You can relax with the knowledge that I won’t be getting back in the jock until the Superbowl. (And even then I’m not making any promises. A jockstrap is anything but forgiving.)
PS – Stay tuned for Part 2…
However, it is a rather functional piece of clothing, which, I’m guessing, is why it remains a mainstay in the sports world. And the gratuitous gay fashion world too. Calling Andrew Christian…
It’s been a good week of shirtless male celebrities here, despite my lack of interest in things of late. First we had a very naked Zac Efron, legit, and here we have Ben Cohen in his tighty-whities on the cover of ‘Attitude’. Talk about a bountiful harvest. While Zac Efron has been featured a number of times, (also in his tighty-whities) he still pales in comparison to the number of Ben Cohen underwear posts – the guy even has his own Category. His cover shoot is in well-deserved honor of his work as an ally. When you’re hot, you’re hot, but when you’re good you’re hotter.
Whilst I’m in travel status, a revisiting of some past David Beckham posts, to see how good he looks almost all of the time.
David looks splendid changing out of his shorts in the middle of a soccer game.
David looks amazing when he dons a simple pair of white briefs.
David looks intriguing when putting his snake out for all the world to see.
David looks fit running around in his boxer briefs.
David looks hot in black and white and shades of gray.
David looks good even when the underwear is boring.
David looks hunky when he’s the Hunk of the Day.
David looks cute when talking in that sexy accent.
David looks serious when going bulge-to-bulge with Ben Cohen.
David looks amazing when caught on video in his underwear (and battling Mario Lopez.)
David looks better in pants than Tom Daley does out of them.
David looks decent in retirement.
David looks striking in nothing but his cologne.
David looks sporty in this locker room.
David looks best going back to front, or front to back.
One day soon I’ll write a Straight Ally piece on Ben Cohen for all the work he’s done for equality. Until then, you’ll just have to feast on these shots and the multitude of past posts (here, here, here, here, here, and here) where Mr. Cohen has appeared in equally glorious stages of undress (and underwear). The most appealing thing about him, as hard as it is to narrow it down, is his heart. He’s a true believer in his mission (the admirable Stand Up foundation) and he backs up his words with his actions. (He also Tweeted me a Happy Birthday, and if the guy can make that kind of effort for a nobody, he’s pretty damn amazing.)
It’s been a while since we last saw David Beckham in his self-monikered skivvies, so let’s rectify that sorrowful bit of a lapse with these new shots for his fall underwear line at H&M. As you may or may not remember, I’m not the biggest fan of Mr. Beckham’s brand of intimates. The cut is wrong, the fit is snug (and not just because I may have gained an inch or two where I don’t quite want it), and the colors and designs were bland and too utilitarian. Underwear from David Beckham should be so much more. But when he wears it, it looks a lot better. So here you have it.
Last year we had the Summer Olympics and that parade of Speedos to keep us entertained in the month of August. This year all we have is Tom Daley, and a few brief appearances by Ryan Lochte. So rather than bemoaning the lack of Olympic-caliber skin, let’s revisit some of those classic Speedo moments.
Before Tom Daley was even a glimpse in someone’s eye, there was Michael Phelps. His long lean torso dazzled at the past three Olympic games, and he even showered in his Speedo.
Alongside Mr. Phelps was the slightly more handsome, if less rewarded, Ryan Lochte. One of the favorite posts ever was this one, featuring Mr. Lochte pulling his already-low-slung swimsuit down even further. Even when he went to Las Vegas, he stripped to a skimpy white Speedo, forgoing the dull board shorts that other straight guys favor.
The gay Olympians were represented by Matthew Mitcham, who donned his Speedo while diving for the gold. He looked just as good in his funky trunks, and got to hug Tom Daley in this amazing shot of double-Speedo hotness.
As mentioned, the reigning Speedo-clad stud is Tom Daley. He was first featured here in July of last year, but has since come up in the ranks to be a featured performer, with a category all his own. Whether it’s his butt or his bulge that captivates you, Daley delivers on all fronts, even selling books in his Speedo. He was crowned the Hunk of the Day not once, but twice. As one of the younger guys featured on this site, all I can say is this: baby got back.
We’re accustomed to seeing Tom Daley in his barely-there Speedos, so an underwear shot – in boxer-briefs no less – should come as no big thrill. But when a Speedo is your work-wear, an underwear shot is somehow more sexy, more sensual, more privately erotic. For those who have come to appreciate Mr. Daley, this one’s for you. (Personally, he’s still a bit too young.) These are reportedly from his 2014 calendar. The cover shot is a bit too precious for my liking, am I wrong?
Because it’s the first day of the last full month of summer, and it’s gone by too fast, here’s a little something to give us all pause: Tom Daley in his Speedo. Talk about your Thoroughly Thoroughbred moments. Breed me indeed me. When I started this website ten years ago, I never thought ‘Tom Daley’ would be one of its main categories. Mostly because he wasn’t even born then…
Because a day without Tom Daley and his bulge is like a day without sunshine. Gratuitous much? And since today just happens to be lacking in the sunshine department, here are a few nearly naked shots of Mr. Daley, our favorite Olympian, clad barely in a Speedo, and ripping it up off the diving board. Forget David Beckham and Ben Cohen, when is Tom Daley going to get an underwear contract? (Or better yet, lose the clothing altogether?)
It’s the season of the Speedo, so here are a few select shots from some traditional favorites (Tom Daley, David Beckham, Ryan Lochte) and some lesser-known but equally-bulging others (Elio Pis, Paul Rothmann). Hey, it’s Monday, it might reach the 90’s, and this is all you’re going to get from me mid-day.
Because it’s Monday.
Because it’s always a good time for a gratuitous photo of Tom Daley in a Speedo.
Because Tom Daley looks good showing off his bulge, his arm pits, and his torso.
Forget my full-frontal reveal, and check out Ben Cohen’s package below. If you want to talk about a major male nudity get, I think Mr. Cohen may come in second only to David Beckham. Second best or not, the battle of the bulge is hotter than ever. (Though I didn’t expect his balls to be so, well, dirty…)
Wait for it…
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Two times in one day? I almost feel bad.
Almost.
And really – did you think it would happen? There are two things you will never see on this site: my cock and Ben Cohen’s cock. David Beckham’s dick is still up in the air…
