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Back to Basics: A Primal Reminder

A pair of worn blue jeans, a pair of Calvin Klein white briefs, and a basic white t-shirt: the standard uniform of a classic gay that runs back to the 80’s and beyond, and a reminder that what is simple is often what will last. Withstanding the test of time is important to those of us approaching the half-century mark of life on this earth, and as the world reels from the events of the past few months, I retreat to what is simple and true. 

It started with the otherwise-drab and dull notion of cutting back on spending. Yawn, yawn, yawn, I know – but the opportunity for something exciting is there if you allow your perspective to shift the slightest bit. In my case, that means embracing the idea of being creative in the re-using and repurposing of clothing, one of my main expenditures. For all of my life, I’ve been highly susceptible to advertising and shopping traps – even when I didn’t need something, if I wanted it in the slightest way, I’d find a way to get it.

At this point, I really don’t need another coat or bag or bottle of cologne, but the temptation is always there. With every online pop-up ad comes a visage that is perfectly curated by any basic algorithm to speak directly to my heart’s desire. Lately, however, with the intent to curb spending and realign priorities, I’ve been saying no. In my case, it is a willful and intentional change of direction, one that takes some thought. 

Every time I see something I want, I rack my brain and sometimes my closets to determine whether I have anything remotely like it. 98% of the time, there is something that is extremely similar, as my closets run deep, and when I find that item in my home, I delete it from my online cart and push it out of my head.

(There has only been one instance where I’ve regretted not getting something: an ombre coat from Louis Vuitton circa 2005/2006, which had shades of deep fuchsia and transitioned through gold into an exquisite shade of deep blue, and which I called the New York flagship store to inquire about – they told me they had it in stock in my size and could hold it, but after a week I said not to bother as it was $2300 or something. To this day, that coat haunts me, but it’s the only instance where not buying something has led to regret; all the more common is the regret I get from purchasing something I never really needed.)

These days, I find myself recycling old clothing (assuming it still fits, but that’s another post for another time) and returning to the basic classics of jeans and a t-shirt. 

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A Sad FAFO Award: The Measles Victims

Thoughts and prayers for the unvaccinated children in this country.

Murder charges for the parents who refused to vaccinate their child against a preventable deadly disease. 

Our country just had its first under-18 death from measles in ten years – it was an unvaccinated child in Texas. With the anti-vax insanity that Trump fostered and publicly allowed to proliferate for both his terms, along with bringing anti-vax lunatic RFK Jr. into the administration, this is the direct result. Way to go, parents! Instead of believing science and facts and getting the measles vaccine for your own baby, your child got sick and died. 

Don’t get mad at me for being insensitive. I’m one of the libtards who voted against this onslaught of awfulness and misinformation from happening. If you voted for Trump, you voted for anti-vaxxer RFK Jr. as Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services. And now, for the first time in ten years, a child is dead from measles. Pro-life much?

As the GOP says for all the dead kids, ‘thoughts and prayers’. 

FAFO – The First Award

FAFO – The Police Union

FAFO – The Free Press

FAFO – The Kansas City Chiefs

FAFO – Medicaid Recipients

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Preparing for Tomorrow

Tomorrow, February 28, marks the planned Economic Blackout originally mentioned in this post, wherein we – the people and the consumers – show what is left of our power. The idea is to not buy anything for 24 hours (or if you absolutely must to do so only from local businesses) in an effort to show the corporations in charge that we still have a voice, and the power of the purchase, to rebel against corporate greed and the rolling back of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion efforts (DEI) such as the ones Target recently eliminated (and are currently paying the price for). 

It’s simple enough: plan today so you don’t have to buy anything tomorrow – whether online, at the gas pump, or some fast food joint – and let the big corporations feel what it’s like when we act as a unified community. As I’ve said before, I don’t know what, if any, real impact this will have, but I myself am guilty of over-consuming and spending, and having a day of not letting anything leave my wallet or bank account is helpful on more than one level. My Amazon orders alone are embarrassingly unnecessary, and it no longer feels good to spend at places like Target or Amazon when their CEOs are clearly supporting Trump’s tax breaks for them while slashing vital programs like Medicaid. Look it all up, as this is what the American people voted for, whether they knew or cared at the time. Too late now.

In the meantime, I’m selfishly taking tomorrow off from all spending, and I’m going to see how long I can go. The truth is that one day of not buying won’t make much of a dent, it’s up to us to revise and modify our daily spending practices. Focus on what is locally available, and make use of what you already have on hand. I’d rather keep it in my own pocket, or spread it around locally, than send it off to the billionaires who already have enough. Here’s a list of upcoming dates and boycotts that may send a message to the people in power. 

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Beauty in the Aftermath

The trajectory of a bouquet of flowers is brief and fleeting, and always more precious because of its short timeframe. We often value things that don’t last more than those that stick around, and while it’s foolish to give something with a shorter shelf life more worth, human nature is flawed and rife with such folly

I’ve pushed against that, finding beauty and interest in the bouquet that is past its prime, or falling apart entirely. I like seeing the way some flowers dry in place, or lose their petals, or wilt and decay into gorgeously grotesque form

We capture the table that looks pristine, striving for the freshest moment, hoping to catch the crest of a flower’s bloom, the first burn of a candle’s undarkened wick. 

What of the beauty of the reality of it all, when it starts to fall apart and become victim to time and air and age? What of the fallen pile of petals, arranged in new radial form, or haphazard abstract wonder? What of the aftermath? There is beauty to be found here too. 

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The Next FAFO Award goes to… Anyone Using Medicaid

If you or someone you love is on Medicaid, and you voted from Donald Trump, this Fuck Around and Find Out (FAFO) moment is just for you! Republicans just voted to give huge tax breaks to millionaires while gutting programs like Medicaid (because there’s no way to make up the money otherwise, so do this simple math). That’s right, if you or someone you love is on Medicaid, there is a very real possibility that it’s going to be cut in some way. 

Along with the misleadingly-optimistic headline from this article, “It also requires the House Energy and Commerce Committee to find $880 billion in cuts to federal programs, and Republicans say some of that will come from reducing spending on Medicaid. And it raises the debt limit by $4 trillion.” NBC News framing this in any way as a ‘win’ is part of why we are here, so keep it up, Free-For-Now Press! (Oh, I also see that the White House will be determine which new outlets get to attend the press conferences now, NOT the White House Press Association, so keep it up! Go fascism!)

At this point, I’m in the ‘Let Them’ contingent, where we let the people in power crush all of you on Medicaid. It’s not that I don’t care, I’m simply going to offer what is usually offered at times of duress from those very same people in charge: thoughts and prayers. As always, blessed be!

FAFO – The First Award

FAFO – The Police Union

FAFO – The Free Press

FAFO – The Kansas City Chiefs

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #178 – ‘I Love New York’ ~ 2005

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Gearing up for her first major return to the music scene since 2019’s ‘Madame X’ (by far the longest stretch of time between Madonna albums since she first appeared on the scene in 1983), Madonna is set to release what she has described as ‘Confessions on a Dance Floor Part 2’, which makes this Madonna Timeline particularly timely, as it centers around ‘I Love New York’ from the original ‘Confessions on a Dance Floor’ album

Personally, I always found this one of the weaker tracks of the album (I’m not even going to include the lyrics as I usually do – let just say “I don’t like cities but I like New York/ Other places make me feel like a dork” will not be remembered as one of her finer couplets), but as an emotional homage to her adopted hometown, the sentiment carries the song, and it worked as one of the more rock-like moments of the Confessions Tour. That’s the memory I have of this song – watching it being performed live at Madison Square Garden as the NY crowd ate it up. 

As proof of her enduring relevance, the photos here are from her recent spread in CR Magazine, hinting at what might come with the next album. We are more than ready for the Confessions to land again. 

Song #178 – ‘I Love New York’ ~ 2005

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Shallow Dish, Deep Reward

Even the most careful and fastidious among us can lose a bloom in the course of arranging a flower bouquet. When that happens, rather than toss it into the garbage, I’ll seek out a shallow bowl or dish on which to display the bloom. My heart always bleeds a bit for those wayward flowers that get beheaded before they have time to fully open up. 

Here, a chrysanthemum flower – architectural stunner on its own, even bereft of stem – forms its own little bouquet, and at a perfect scope for a dinner party where no one wants to talk over or around a pesky arrangement. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Franz Rogowski

A recommendation from a wise friend with impeccable taste, our Dazzler of the Day is Franz Rogowski, currently starring with fellow Dazzler Barry Keoghan in ‘Bird’. Rogowski has received multiple accolades and awards for his turn in the 2023 film ‘Passages’, as well as work in ‘Great Freedom’, ‘Transit’, and ‘Freaks Out’. This marks his first crowning as Dazzler of the Day. 

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A Pause, and Pose, for Narcissism

The happy visage of bright yellow jonquils has arrived in the local markets – a sure sign of spring on the not-too-distant horizon. With temperatures soaring into the 40’s, perhaps we are finally headed away from this frozen winter. It’s been a long and trying one, with nary a thaw or break in its icy edge. And of course it’s not quite over.

Seeing us through the final weeks of cold and ice, these Narcissus blooms remind of cheerful vanity, string their poses and emitting their fine delicate fragrance. Tom Ford once tried to capture this delicious aroma, and failed miserably. 

They won’t be caught and trapped in a bottle.

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Dazzler of the Day: Amanda Rheaume

A fascist dictator requires a populace that allows such a monster to usurp power at every turn. As we watch our country under such an attack from within, I applaud those who resist against what is happening rather than letting it all unfold without speaking out. Case in point is Amanda Rheaume, who was scheduled to perform at the Kennedy Center in April. When the current FOTUS decided to install himself on the Kennedy Center Board (straight-up fascist move to those asking where’s the fascism) Rheaume withdrew from what could have been a career-highlight performance. That sort of sacrifice is monumental especially when compared to the cowardly actions and inactions of the Republican Party today. For that courageous act alone, Rheaume earns this Dazzler of the Day  honor, and I am happy to point you to her website here for a rundown of all her musical accomplishments and upcoming tour dates. 

“In Rheaume’s music, songs of resistance and resilience travel centuries. With a gentle yet unflinching touch, Rheaume has grown to be a chronicler of stories and people whose acts – out of necessity and opportunity alike – cascade through time and space, from the 18th century Red River Settlement to her own doorstep. With curiosity and empathy, Rheaume has become a bearer of history, unearthing and preserving Métis stories in song. In her gutsy guitar-driven style, punctuated with lively Métis fiddle, Rheaume’s heartland rock is built to last, resolute in rhythm and unswerving in purpose.”

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A Floral February Recap

Candles and flowers saw us through the last week of winter, while the world remained frigid and inhospitable the moment you set foot outside of a heated home. Hunker-down season continues, while whispers of spring carry on the night wind. Let’s push past this final week of February and let the lion leap us into March, but first the weekly recap

Snow moon enchantment

A single candle fells winter.

Madonna wants to tuck us in again. (That’s ‘tuck’, with a ‘T’.)

In the midst of winter, a desert dawn.

A dream is a wish my heart makes.

A coat of ice.

Technological deficiencies

A candlelight dinner.

Start planning, start saving.

The question of sleepwalking.

February flowers, only for those who appreciate such things..

A lot of living to do.

When a dazzler takes a fall.

Life’s a banquet.

Winter manscaping.

Sundaylight.

Dazzlers of the Day included Theresa Nellis, Aaron Pierre, Darren Hayes, and Janet Mills.

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Sundaylight

Spreading the glow of candlelight in these final weeks of winter has proven crucial in buoying sagging spirits and inspiring thoughts of spring and summer, even if the weather has us wondering if they will ever come again. 

Our icicles haven’t been this long in years, and I can’t recall such a sustained string of freezing weather.  At least a thick blanket of snow is acting as insulation for the garden that slumbers beneath

Themes for spring and summer have been whispering to me of late, each finding confirmation and encouragement in the wispy currents of the universe. All will be revealed in good time. For now, the needed and necessary toil of the final weeks of winter. We trudge onward, we trudge through, we trudge in the service of something new. 

‘There is nothing new under the sun.’

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Life’s A Banquet!

“Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” ~ Auntie Mame

While I absolutely adore ‘Auntie Mame’, this quote from the movie had bothered and bugged me on my first few viewings, but I think it’s because I was reading and interpreting it incorrectly. Yes, it’s a great soundbite. It’s clipped and blunt and leaves no room for an easy-follow-up, but it always felt like it went against the anti-elitist theme that Mame so vibrantly espouses for much of the story, as in her refusal to let Patrick be stuffed into rigid social constructs, starting with her eschewing of the Bixby School for a more progressive establishment run by an Acacius Page. 

The reading I prefer to take from it is less a ‘let them eat cake‘ moment and more of a ‘let’s celebrate life’ mantra, which makes much more sense of the context of the ‘Live! Live! Live!’ scene in which it takes place. Mame’s own ‘Live and let live’ lifestyle finds acceptance and celebration of everyone regardless of race, religion, background, or social stratification. 

Such is the theme of the Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, which wound its way around the continental United States twenty years ago, and is finally finding its posting premiere here, for better and largely worse. Still, it’s a fun look-back when the world could be more concerned with such frivolous things because adults were mostly running the country. Now we must escape to those days for sheer emotional survival, clinging to memories of happier and more carefree times, which is one of the main points of the Divine Diva Tour anyway. It all comes together. 

This fun purple confection of a gown, the beaded headdress, and that saucy necklace comprised the opening outfit of ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale’ as we held a kick-off party in the summer of 2005. It remains one of my favorite looks from all the parties we’ve thrown over the years. 

This particular fairy’s tale is about to take a turn into the dreamier woodland forests of a traditional fairy tale, and those woods are filled with as much enchantment as danger – sometimes I think enchantment only finds full fruition when there is an element of risk to be overcome. There’s something sad in that too. 

For now, we sit before our mirrors and fringed lampshades, waiting to be laced up, hoping for this party to match the excitement and glamour we were promised in all those fairy tales growing up…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One 

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Dazzler of the Day: Janet Mills

Janet Mills, Governor of Maine, spoke truth to felonious power when she handed Trump his asshole the other day, and for that she earns this Dazzler of the Day. I wish more people in elected office had half as much courage, bravery and basic human decency in standing up for all of us. Here’s part of her statement followed by her gloriously-savage put-down of “See you in court” that effectively ended him on that day:

“No President – Republican or Democrat – can withhold Federal funding authorized and appropriated by Congress and paid for by Maine taxpayers in an attempt to coerce someone into compliance with his will. It is a violation of our Constitution and of our laws, which I took an oath to uphold.

“Maine may be one of the first states to undergo an investigation by his Administration, but we won’t be the last. Today, the President of the United States has targeted one particular group on one particular issue which Maine law has addressed. But you must ask yourself: who and what will he target next, and what will he do? Will it be you? Will it be because of your race or your religion? Will it be because you look different or think differently? Where does it end? In America, the President is neither a King nor a dictator, as much as this one tries to act like it – and it is the rule of law that prevents him from being so.

“I imagine that the outcome of this politically directed investigation is all but predetermined. My Administration will begin work with the Attorney General to defend the interests of Maine people in the court of law. But do not be misled: this is not just about who can compete on the athletic field, this is about whether a President can force compliance with his will, without regard for the rule of law that governs our nation. I believe he cannot.”

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