This post is brought to you by the WiFi and electricity of Suzie and Pat, in whose home I currently write this recap, which will go live as we begin day three without electricity. The less said about that the better, so on with the weekly recap…
Full-disclosure: ultimately, if you follow my work office chain-of-command, this man is my boss. His name is Basil Seggos and he is the Commissioner of the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, a position from which he recently announced he will be stepping down. He easily earns this Dazzler of the Day because his eight-plus years as our Commissioner is, quite literally, a record-breaking run: Seggos has served in this position for longer than anyone else ever has. During that time, he’s had to deal with increasing challenges and complexities as the world grapples with climate change, environmental justice, and the constant intertwining of politics that is part of every state agency. Throughout it all, he’s maintained a focus fixed on the mission of our agency, while keeping an eye and a helpful push toward diversifying our work-force. In the few meetings I’ve had with him, he’s always been open to different ideas and viewpoints. In a recent interview with ‘City & State NY’ he said, “When we hit that point when we’re representative of New York state, we’re gonna be more effective as an agency because people will see themselves in us and want to be part of this agency and ultimately make us better as we do our important work in every community in their state.”
Being a commissioner is a tough balancing act, and there will always be contingents and people who have an issue or critique of how things are handled; Seggos has been open to those criticisms, and even set up open-door office hours where employees were free to discuss whatever they wanted with him. While he’s been coy about what’s next, his love for the state of New York and the mission of environmental conservation will surely play a part in whatever lucky entity ends up utilizing his talents.
The bare reddish branches of our Japanese maple tree crackled and dripped with ice while the snow changed to sleet and freezing rain. A pretty sight, it was also disheartening, coming as it does at the point where we have already, in mind, heart, and calendar days, moved into spring. Not wholly unexpected or undeserved, our mild winters tend to make up for their lack of early zeal with an extended and drawn-out few weeks of wintry nonsense.
There is no rushing what nature is going to do. Keeping this in mind, and accepting it sooner rather than later, is a key component of one’s daily peace, and a helpful lesson for life in general; there will aways be things and events and people who are beyond our control or influence. These things don’t know or care whether you may be affected or bothered by their actions, and they never will be. Giving oneself over to this bit of powerlessness is part of growing up. It’s also a part of being at peace as a grown-up.
Some music then, for rumination and contemplation. Sit with me for a moment while it plays. It’s called ‘Spring Snow’ because being literal is usually the easiest course to take.
Even the sturdiest branches, as bare and light of leaf as they are right now, bend and droop beneath the weight of the ice. Looking as forlorn as some slow-moving funeral procession, the branches of dogwoods and grasses gently sway in their mournful stance, waiting for the hug of spring to offer comfort – though none is to be had on this frigid day. The temperature is moving in the wrong direction, and so they shudder, still unable to shirk off the ice on their backs.
Whenever I want to rush ahead, especially in the first days of spring, the universe has ways of forcing a pause, and rather than finding frustration or antibusiness here, I find a welcome pocket of time in which to slow down, to let the day crawl for a bit. Rushing through life is no way to live; you simply miss too much.
Does the week begin on Sunday or Monday? It’s always infuriatingly debatable, and our world has had enough of debates and both sides and binary bullshit. I’m taking this Saturday night as the end of the week, because it was a week that kicked my ass and it needs to be over. We were scheduled to be in New Jersey for my late Uncle’s celebration of life service, but storms and bad weather caused Mom to wisely cancel the trip. It’s a shame we can’t see and be with family, especially all that’s happened in the past year, but we will make it up later in the season when there is no more threat of snow and ice. Those days are coming, I have faith.
Rather than fight the malaise or change the narrative by some false buoying of spirits, I’ve been facing the sadness and downtrodden days. It hasn’t even been close to a year since Dad died, and this winter, while relatively benevolent, seems to be sticking around (judging by the snow and ice that’s suddenly back). In my daily meditations, I’ve been refocusing on what I’ve felt during the day, acknowledging those moments of doubt and worry, allowing the space to be a little less of what I’d like to be, and going a little easier on myself when my picky, persnickety perfectionist tendencies drag me down.
At both my doctor’s appointment and therapy sessions, when mention of my Dad arose, I said I was doing ok, and as soon as I said it I knew the next day or two would bring moments where I suddenly wasn’t ok, because that’s what seems to be happening. And then I hear from friends who understand, who have been through it, and who say that’s the way it usually goes. There isn’t a finite end date for grief, and for someone whose Virgo-nature likes a schedule and a plan, that’s difficult to accept. My head knows this, and understands this, and works to embrace this; my heart is in a messier state, and I’m learning to accept the mess.
Coated in ice, our Japanese umbrella pine and a stand of hydrangeas bow beneath the weight. It is the weight of a storm, and the weight of a bad week. And in all things that weep, there is beauty here.
When they make you put on something this atrocious with your ass just hanging out, how does one’s blood pressure do anything BUT go up? Ridiculous. Anyway, I have reached the age of scheduled colonoscopies and shit (hopefully not in close proximity to each other) and here I am modeling the latest in Physician Examining Room apparel (put that on your roster of ballroom looks). If anybody knows anyone who can get me in for the ass-probing in the near future around the Albany area, please DM me. It’s all but impossible to get anyone to look at my ass these days, and scheduling a colonoscopy is proving just as difficult. Oh what a changed world…
Along with Judy Garland, Billie Holiday has one of the most poignant, powerful, and moving voices in musical history. Both women were dealt difficult hands in life, and both seemingly did the best they could do with their immense talents, outrageous expectations, and the basic impossibility of being a woman at any stage of our human existence. To palpably convey such heartache is an art in itself – to do so with the exquisite gorgeousness that an artist like Billie Holiday can conjure is the stuff of the sublime, and we are all blessed for having heard it.
Here she sings ‘Some Other Spring’ and it’s the vibe of the week now that we’re in season.
You are invited to pause in whatever you’re doing, take a minute or two for yourself, and listen to this spring song. Make it a mini-meditative moment, the way any pause in the day can be if you focus and allow the worries in your mind to pass, even if it’s temporary. Put a pin in them – they aren’t going anywhere – and allow your mind and body to relax. With practice, this can happen at any point, under any duress. When the spring storms arrive, because they always do, you will be ready.
American soccer player Gaby Vincent earns her first Dazzler of the Day honor for her talent on the soccer field, as well as her LGBTQ+ community outreach and relations work. She is set to be a featured speaker at Athlete Ally’s Athlete Activism Summit in Louisville, Kentucky this June, as seen below:
Over the course of four days, college athletes, coaches, and administrators from across the country will convene to build community, gain knowledge, and commit to actions to help expand LGBTQI+ inclusion and allyship on their campuses.
Athlete Ally staff and event co-hosts will share how they are using education, policy reform, athlete activism, and groundbreaking research to champion LGBTQI+ inclusion in and through sport. We will hear from athletes & activists on how visibility and representation can shape collective power, and from QTBIPOC athletes & allies on intersectional activism. Attendees will cycle through breakouts on storytelling and campus advocacy. To cap off the Summit, we will lay out a blueprint for where we go from here to maximize our collective impact.
While the title and flagrant featured photo for this post is admittedly nothing more than clickbait, the content is, like the subject at hand, much more substantial. This post is to celebrate the opening of BDXY – a clothing and lifestyle brand founded by actor Luke Evans, Fran Tomas and Christopher Brown. Already a favorite on these pages, and a beloved Dazzler of the Day here, Evans brings his own elegant sophistication and taste to his first fashion endeavor, lending a classic vibe to a new brand that aims to serve any gentleman with a desire for refinement, sexiness, and strength.
From the sexy basics of underwear to the sultry scented collection of candles, BDXY is laying a groundwork for a line that will undoubtedly expand. For now, keeping things simple and basic in underwear (briefs and boxer briefs in black, white, and green) and t-shirts and tank tops (vests) of multiple colors and logo options, along with some daringly sexy swimwear, is a very smart start, and once you have a stable customer base, the rest of the world will surely follow. Personally, I’m favoring ‘The Unit’ underwear in black or green, and ‘The Atmos’ Swimbrief Mirrorzag – both in size Medium for anyone considering future gifts (just saying!)
You know I love a company that gives some intriguing background to its inception, offering clients a glimpse into the creative spark that started it all, and a story of how it came to fruition. BDXY has a great origin, and a compelling mission, as seen on their website as follows:
Founded by actor Luke Evans in partnership with Fran Tomas (architect and project manager) and Christopher Brown (stylist and creative consultant). BDXY is an apparel and lifestyle brand with a strong focus on classic style with a contemporary twist.
Taking cues from the Classic Hollywood actor, BDXY mixes nostalgia with modern and sustainable everyday staples. We work with new technology, fabrics and manufacturing processes to deliver a wardrobe that exudes alluring appeal with considered design.
The Origin of ‘BDXY’
The letters are pronounced BDXY – the first two letters are from the word ‘Bold’, while the second two are from the word ‘Sexy’, which describes the aesthetic of the line.
“It’s as much a feeling and a personal energy, as a description of how one looks. You can feel bold and sexy in absolutely nothing, a ball gown, a tuxedo or any kind of attire you wear. Bold is a strong, confident word and sexy is something that is appealing in many different ways.”
“Bold” exudes a vibrant energy, a daring spirit that embraces challenges and stands out with confidence. On the other hand, “Sexy” carries a magnetic allure, creating a vibe that’s captivating and irresistible. Together, they evoke a dynamic aura, blending fearlessness with sensuality, leaving an impression that’s both powerful and enticing.
Starting Point ~ The starting point came from a T-shirt, our hero product, as a strong foundation piece inspired by screen icons of the Old Hollywood era – think Marlon Brando and Steve McQueen. With this in mind, the BDXY line is designed to make you feel comfortable and confident, everywhere, always.
Sustainability is an important factor close to all our hearts. BDXY pays attention to the planet by focusing on eco-friendly methods and natural fabrications. We use ethically sourced fibres as well as recycled and upcycled materials, while working closely with a family business in Portugal. This approach helps breathe new life into humble staples while honouring our commitment to minimising environmental impact.
Inspiration ~ The naming of each piece in the first collection was inspired by Luke’s profession: on a film set, every crew member has a specific job title unique to the industry. Most have been around since the dawn of film and television production. The Stunt, The Focus, The Gaffer, The Captain, The Boom… The legacy and essential nature of these roles and more, speaks to the enduring appeal of our garments.
Aspirational ~Travel is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to yourself and others. It is this love of travel, people and places that are at the core of our collections and capture a moment in time of memories and happiness. Each piece is rooted in a shared appreciation of quality fabrics and timeless design for all body shapes.
Thirty-five years ago, the bedrooms of many burgeoning gay boys were filled with the incense-like fragrance of patchouli, the hold-over hippie scent from the 60’s, thanks to Madonna including it as part of the packaging for the ‘Like A Prayer’ album. For perhaps the first time, a musical artist was pushing the notion of the artistic listening experience into one that went beyond sound and sight and included an actual scent. It was a powerful moment for me – not only being my first brush with patchouli (contrary to popular belief, I was not alive in the 60’s) but also my first experience with how an artistic project could be so powerfully immersive for the consumer and viewer. It was also a lesson in how scent can be one of the most power memory triggers, bringing us back to a time and place more effectively than any other sensory stimulus.
Since that time, patchouli has held a special place in my heart, though these days it’s in a more refined form, such as this delicious fragrance from the House of Guerlain Paris – ‘Patchouli Ardent’. Here, the patchouli runs through the fragrance arc, its golden threads shimmering at each stage of development, while a magnificently rich rose note works a velvety floral into the mix. At the start, some pink and black pepper brings a spicy accent to an almost-fruity and figgy voluptuousness, while a woody smokiness lends echoes of Tom Ford’s ‘Oud Fleur’ and Frederic Malle’s ‘Portrait of a Lady’ (both of which I adore). Meanwhile, layers of leather reveal themselves as it settles down, taking it blessedly further from the edge of sticky sweetness (the danger zone of many a rose and patchouli duet).
Taken together, this is a powerful perfume, perfect for these blustery days that feel more like winter than spring, when you need a little richness in the arid and barren landscape. The patchouli is prettily present throughout the story, bringing its years of memories into my mind, taking me back decades to a world that feels enchanted, as much by the rose-tinted-glass frame of time as by the sweet innocence I held onto as a thirteen-year-old boy.
Thirty-five years ago Madonna unleashed the iconic ‘Like A Prayer’ album upon a somewhat-suspecting world – a majestic and monumental album that has remained one of her most powerful musical statements all this time later. It formed an integral backdrop to some of the most formative years of my life, coming out at a time when I was thirteen going on fourteen – which is a key portion of life when music is often what matters most. I was lucky in that respect – lucky to have been alive and fully aware in the era of ‘Like A Prayer‘.
While that feels like a long time ago, it’s testament to Madonna’s enduring relevance and power that her recent take on the title track is still a compelling watch – see below before we go back in time…
In March of 1989, I was but a wee 13-year-old at Wilbur H. Lynch Middle School in Amsterdam, New York. It had been a school year plagued with illness – the wreckage and remaining lung function of a difficult turn with asthma left me drained and often gasping for breath, while a burgeoning and debilitating onset of undiagnosed social anxiety kept my mental engagement removed and woefully private from my classmates. I was looking for a source of power in every sense, and my thirst for such inspiration was satiated as Madonna released the ‘Like A Prayer’ single.
It was, and likely remains, the best kick-off single for any of her albums (with the possible exception of ‘Vogue’) and it was a critical, artistic, and commercial smash. In my life, I was equally thrilled and terrified by it – the flirtation with blasphemy, the undeniable pop-hook mastery of Patrick Leonard’s music, and the assertion of this woman as artistic provocateur proved impossible to resist. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that spoke so deeply to me, I just felt its power, physically pricked by its heat, and the abandon, when I fully gave in to it, was like some spiritual orgasm that shook my entire body out of its teenage trappings. (And at that point in my life the only kneeling I had done had been at church, serving as an altar boy.)
The entire album was filled with sonic surprises, perhaps because Madonna was finally going deep, as she explored her imploding marriage on ‘Til Death Do Us Part‘ or the death of her mother on ‘Promise to Try‘. There were some light-hearted moments, such as the whimsical ‘Dear Jessie‘ and lushly-romantic ‘Cherish‘, but the main themes were family (see ‘Oh Father‘ and ‘Keep It Together‘) and religion (see ‘Pray for Spanish Eyes‘ and ‘Act of Contrition‘). It was a combustible combination, and a musical collection that stands up to the ultimate test of time.
Three and a half decades later, I still find inspiration and strength in listening to this album, and music that manages to last that long is an artistic achievement. I leave you with this performance of ‘Like A Prayer’ from her 1990 Blonde Ambition Tour. It’s the stuff of immaculate pop icon history, and set the stage for a few decades of indelible ‘Prayer’ performances. Only the most powerful remain.
Not you finally responding after I call you out on not texting me back, and then getting mad when I don’t immediately reply.
Nope. No time for that sort of fuckery. Gaslight somebody else – I’m burned out.
PS – Is it funny or sad that a number of people in my life are going to think this is about them? Today I think it’s sad, but maybe that’s just because I’m feeling sad.
Our opening days of spring have been rather chilly, but the sun has been about, and the world seems to be moving in the right direction. A spot of spring music, then, for the afternoon hours, to celebrate the ‘Bluebird’ of this song’s title, and to celebrate the triumphant arrival of spring. Winter be banished!
Afternoon siestas pass more beautifully when something like this is playing in the background, or the foreground – choose your own volume and choose your own adventure. Spring demands we take charge and take control, if only because there is about to be much to do. On that clunky sentence, I’ll leave you to the music.
