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Champagne Time

My days of champagne time are long over, and to be honest I was never really a fan of the bubbly. (The pics here are of some black raspberry seltzer shaded by a few drops of black raspberry syrup. Rock out with your mocktail out!) Still, I enjoy the aesthetic of something sparkling in a fancy glass, and twenty years ago I was all about the champagne time, especially if it came with a rekindled glimpse into ‘The Lawrence Welk Show’ and its effervescent theme song.

There was something innocent and transporting about ‘The Lawrence Welk Show’, and the way my family would settle in for an early evening of shared television time. It offered light-hearted amusement, and they always sent us kids off to bed with a good-night/sleep-tight song that promised pleasant dreams

If I focus, and block out the noise from this crazy world of plane crashes and encroaching fascism, I can escape to the chiffon-shrouded world of Lawrence Welk, flying along on a cloud of accordion comfort, and finding momentary respite in the flight of fantasy… 

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The Next FAFO Award Goes to the Free Press

“A free press is fundamental to human rights, democracy, and the rule of law.” – Antonio Guterres

Way back when Hilary Clinton was running against the orange blob in 2016, I saw the press do its ‘both sides’ bullshit, and obsess over her e-mails in an attempt to equalize the monster who was already breaking the law. The New York Times has already been proven to have given lopsided coverage to those candidates then, and it only got worse in the ensuing years. Giving any sort of normalized leeway to a man who has been repeatedly shown, and convicted, of breaking the law seems a questionable stance, even and especially if you’re reporting solely on facts. 

Cut to the current moment, after the press helped Trump to a win in the last election. (All the talk about a President’s age dissipated when they finally coerced Biden out of the election, all the wondering of a President’s competence disappeared when there was a black woman running against him, etc.) Now the press offices of the New York Times, NPR, Politico and NBC are being ‘rotated’ out of the Pentagon to make room for OANN and Breitbart. LOL!

Happy FAFO to the Free Press, which is now suffering greatly in print and television form, so congrats  to them on aiding in their own deterioration. 

FAFO – The First Award

FAFO – The Police Union

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I Could Have Danced All Night

Sunday night, in the dark of mid-winter, light seemingly still glowing from the snow, though I know that could never be. Moonlight, perhaps, the kind that brings out a certain wildness, that would have us dancing naked beneath its glow if it were just a smidge warmer. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps… 

Bed, bed I couldn’t go to bedMy head’s too light to try to set it downSleep, sleep I couldn’t sleep tonightNot for all the jewels in the crownI could have danced all nightI could have danced all nightAnd still have begged for moreI could have spread my wings and done a thousand thingsI’ve never done before
I’ll never know what made it so excitingWhy all at once my heart took flightI only know when he began to dance with meI could have danced, danced, danced all night

It’s after three nowDon’t you agree now?She ought to be in bed!
I could have danced all night, I could have danced all nightAnd still have begged for moreI could have spread my wings and done a thousand thingsI’ve never done before
I’ll never know what made it so excitingWhy all at once my heart took flightI only know when he began to dance with meI could have danced, danced, danced all night

If I’m up beyond three these days, it’s not from the overwrought excitement from a night of dancing – quite the opposite. My nights are more restless than usual, my sleep not unfettered from bother and worry. Middle-age, I suppose, and so far from the carefree slumber of youth. Sunday nights aren’t supposed to feel sadder the older we get, are they? 

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The Swans Dance

A swan’s beauty and grace is matched by its brutality in the way of survival. Power and might must be tempered with all that is exquisite; every gift of elegance must be tainted with icy indifference. Nothing is ever perfect, no entity is ever truly divine. That rarely keeps us from trying – to achieve perfection, to achieve divinity, to be something better than we are today

I’ve said that so many times before…

This dance of the swans sets the scene for any sort of magic that I attempted to conjure twenty years ago. It’s a hint of the dance to come – a dance I hope you will join. We need to dance these days. Dancing may be the only thing to keep us from going mad.

One day, in the spring, I found a pile of gray feathers in the backyard. It looked like a morning dove had exploded, but most likely it was the quick work of a hawk or some other larger bird of prey. I don’t think a land animal could have been as vicious or fast enough to do something so devastating. Creatures of the air are more terrifying that way. Like the swans

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Fairytale

Music without words, emotions without expression, the riotous heart, the soothing sea, and all the feels. Evocative of the beginning of most fairy tales, when the world still seems like it might not change, when the trajectory and irrevocable journey we find ourselves on could still be something of our dreams, we begin every tale with the confusing dust of a fairy beautifully clouding our view.

A siren song sets the scene in motion, and when it’s over the trick of time – cunning and relentless and brutal – does everything it can to take the song away. 

Hold onto it in your head, hold onto it in your heart, hold onto it when it feels like there is no melody left to remember. Far too often, we don’t realize when things are beginning, only when they are already in motion and hurtling along at breakneck pace. Those trains don’t stop easily, and the world will completely derail your plans if you’re not careful. 

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Vois sur ton chemin

See on your wayVois sur ton cheminForgotten, lost kidsGamins oubliés, égarésGive them your handDonne-leur la mainTo lead them towards other tomorrowsPour les mener vers d’autres lendemainsGive them your handDonne-leur la mainTo lead them towards other tomorrowsPour les mener vers d’autres lendemainsMeaning, in the dead of night (in the dead of night)Sens, au cœur de la nuit (au cœur de la nuit)The wave of hope, ardor of lifeL’onde d’espoir, ardeur de la viePath of glory (ardor of life, of life)Sentier de gloire (ardeur de la vie, de la vie)Path of glory, path of glorySentier de gloire, sentier de gloire

Childish happinessBonheurs enfantinsToo quickly forgotten, erasedTrop vite oubliés, effacésA golden light shines endlesslyUne lumière dorée brille sans finAt the end of the roadTout au bout du cheminQuickly forgotten, erasedVite oubliés, effacésA golden light shines endlesslyUne lumière dorée brille sans fin
Meaning, in the dead of night (in the dead of night)Sens, au cœur de la nuit (au cœur de la nuit)(The wave of hope) meaning, in the heart of the night (in the heart of the night)(L’onde d’espoir) sens, au cœur de la nuit (au cœur de la nuit)

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A Prologue

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young Prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. 

But then, one winter’s night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the Prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress

The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous Beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. 

Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. 

The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another and earn their love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a Beast for all time. 

As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope
For who could ever learn to love a Beast?”

~ ‘Beauty and the Beast’

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Amuse-bouche: Beautiful Dreamer

It begins with a familiar melody, a dream-like song that calls from a past that we never thought would pass. Something from my childhood, something from my adolescence, something from the most tender portion of a life – a spring day on the way to a music lesson, when white perfumed blossoms hung in the sky and clouds like pink whales swam languidly across the sky…

Beautiful Dreamer, wake unto me,Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,Lull’d by the moonlight have all passed away!
Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,List while I woo thee with soft melody;Gone are the cares of life’s busy throng

Piano scales played in the distance, some other student’s lesson stifling them like summer arrest, and then the music disappears behind the low rumble of a lawn mower. In my head, snippets of this song remove me from any worry… 
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,Mermaids are chanting the wild Lorelei;Over the stream let vapors are borne,Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.
Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,E’en as the morn on the stream let and sea;Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
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Be Gone, Wretched January

What an awful month this has been, and so far what an awful year, so there is no love lost and no hesitation in saying goodbye to this particular January. Tomorrow begins a new month – the last full month of winter – and I’m working on a release of a project/tour book that I did twenty years ago. That’s if I find the balls to show off some very questionable pics and poses, which is an empty threat, because of course I will. 

As for the final gasp of January, everyone I know is ready to put it to rest, so let’s celebrate the passing of the first full month of winter, all thirty-one days of it, all the awfulness of it, all the trying and terrifying brutality of it…

And starting tomorrow, we will do our best to escape – a flight of fancy fantasy awaits, and a fairy is about to take wing… 

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

A question of frivolity crosses the mind. 

The coconut: is it a nut or not?

#TinyThreads

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The Danger of Ice

These are difficult days. 

I feel torn by wanting to disconnect completely, and feeling responsible for being somewhat aware of the basic downfall of our country. 

Mostly I watch winter go by outside the front window, and in our living room all is quiet and calm. It feels selfish. It also feels like survival. 

There is an infuriating isolation of watching what you predicted so tragically playing out.

And there is a loneliness in being right that diminishes any joy in it. 

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A Snippet of Conversation

Every once in a while I’ll call my friend Chris for no substantial reason other than to tell him I made a killer breakfast or some other insignificant and largely mundane bit of information (often the call goes out after a therapy session when I’m in a rare mood to talk). Here’s how a recent check-in went:

ME: I just made the most amazing French toast, using egg nog! And it’s a life-changing experience. 

CHRIS: I’m a father who has to drop off his kid at school.

ME: I know… why did you choose that life?

That was actually the end of the conversation.

At this time in our country’s history, remember to check on your friends – they’re hurting, and they’re people too

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Watch This FAFO Space

Maybe releasing 1500 convicted criminals for their role in the January 6th insurrection wasn’t the best way to back the blue and support law and order, as some are already having run-ins with the law. At least one of these altercations resulted in the pardoned criminal being shot and killed. Criminals are gonna crime, right? It will be interesting to see what happens to those 1500 criminals who suddenly feel they’ve been vindicated for their violent actions – doesn’t feel like the deterrent it should be. Watch this space for more FAFO moments, because they’re coming. Maybe this should become a new category, like Tom Ford or Madonna or Male Models… The FAFO Files… perfect for this time in our country, and the next four years. 

The First FAFO Award

FAFO: The Police Union

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