Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

{Fun fact: the text chat group name for me and Noah and Emi is ‘The Queen and Two Clowns.}

The Ilagan twins stayed with us for an overnight a day after Jaxon’s christening, and it was a lovely kick-off to our summer activities. Starting off in the pool (which Andy had heated to a jacuzzi-like 90 degrees) we exhausted ourselves with handstands and jumps and rating them all before heading inside for a batch of smores (via the microwave). It was the preamble to a viewing of that long-forgotten 80’s cheese-flick ‘Troop Beverly Hills’ featuring Shelley Long, which didn’t quite hold up the way I thought it did. Movies have changed since the 80’s, and kids today have a very different appreciation for pacing and storylines. The costumes were a hit, however, and that’s all that mattered. We had popcorn with Reese’s Pieces, we made ‘s’mores, and we had all the movie candy boxes we could have wanted (except for Sno-Caps). 

The next day I took them out for boba tea (because why not tempt the caffeine fates when children are about?) and we went for another swim. On the stereo, this epic version of ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ played, and it swiftly became the anthem for all of our antics. As the three most fun people in the family (according to our own estimation) Emi said we know how to enjoy life while everyone else is too worried and careful about everything. Not sure what that says about my caretaking skills regarding children, but what the fuck ever. We had a grand time, and made plans for a summer Boston trip like the one we made last year. Not sure we can top that Boston Harbor boat ride, but we’ll try.

Any godchild of mine is preordained to cause a commotion at any given church ceremony, and as a former altar boy who was subjected to the rigors of a strict Catholic upbringing, I’m all for conjuring an unforgettable religious experience.

It was a beautiful day near the end of May on which our family had Jaxon baptized, with a strong show of sunshine, warm temperatures, and the promise of summer in the air. By all estimations he behaved remarkably well – didn’t cry at all when the water and oil went all over his head. The deacon’s behavior was another story altogether, but that’s a tale for another time, maybe when Jaxon gets confirmed, and it made for the unforgettable aspect of the day.

More than anything else, it felt like this day was a chance for Jaxon to be given his first choice at a spiritual path, offering the tenets of a Christian faith should he one day decide to keep to that road. It was a celebration of joy, and an opportunity for both sides of his family to come together. To that end, it was a resounding and happy success.

Andy expressed consternation at what I might choose to wear to the ceremony, even I understood that this was Jaxon’s day to shine, so I went with a basic linen ensemble for a summer baby, a traditional Barong Tagalog shirt worn at formal Filipino occasions, and a necklace that formed the only bit of ostentatious bling to remind Jaxon that I was still me under all the understated elegance. He’s already bringing out the best in all of us.

Dear Jaxon – 

It is reportedly the duty of a Catholic godparent to provide spiritual guidance in helping to bring up their godchild in the Catholic faith, and though this tidbit of information came to me long after I accepted the wonderful offer to be your godfather, it is not something I am taking lightly. To that end, I am gifting you a silver rosary (silver being the color associated with your birthday and sun sign) which our friend Doreen is having blessed by our local priest. I also come equipped with enough Catholic knowledge to make your head nod and fall back asleep, having been an altar boy for far too many years than most, and I’ve received the sacraments of Holy Eucharist and Confirmation, so technically we’re good. 

As for the rest of it, we will have to make that spiritual journey together. When you grow up, you may wonder at the state of the world around you. We will keep you shielded from the awfulness for as long as possible, because if you have a good, solid start, you’ll be better adept at dealing with the disappointments later on. As you grow up, you may question how God would let terrible things happen to good people, and you may doubt whether faith is enough to sustain a person. I will never lie to you, so I have to let you know that I still grapple with such questions, and I honestly don’t think there is one true set of answers. 

What I do know is that one’s spiritual soul is nourished and fed by those around them. To that end, you are already blessed. True, we are a flawed bunch of characters – your Godfather alone carries enough foibles and faults to trip everyone up from time to time – but our intent and love is always true, always noble. You are loved beyond what we can ever completely express, and there is God or religion or spirituality in that, as there is in all the good and beautiful things you will encounter on earth. Your journey is just beginning, and there is hope in that – the kind of hope that makes the most jaded among us believe in something. 

And so my little godson, as you begin to make your spiritual journey, surrounded and emboldened by those who love and adore you, remember that you are supported by not only your parents, but by all of us. You will come to form your own belief system, and whether that’s faith or religion or the memory of a mother’s embrace, it’s all the same magnificent stuff, cut from the same sacred cloth of love.