Sneezing while peeing doesn’t happen often, but when it does, watch out.
Author Archives: Alan Ilagan
March
2024
A Friday as Good as Any
Most Fridays are good, but this one has been officially christened as such by the doctrines of the Catholic faith. That’s right, it’s Good Friday, an ironic name given the story that takes center stage on this day in Catholic history. And while we’re soaking up the irony, here’s me in a baseball cap – the same Red Sox cap I’ve had for a couple of decades. Ideal for bad hair days, or lazy non-shower days (hey, it’s that why this is the de facto accessory for straight guys?) the baseball cap is far too ubiquitous for me to don with any sort of regularity, but once in a while, when I’m feeling down, or just want to blend in unnoticed, I’ll slip it on like some not-so-elaborate disguise that instantly puts me below the radar. My own little invisibility cloak. Perfect for a Friday good or bad.
March
2024
Dazzler of the Day: Scott Nevins
With a rising television and entertainment profile, Scott Nevins offers a pretty face backed by a witty take and killer bod that merits this crowning as Dazzler of the Day. Check out his online presence here for further evidence of his brilliance.
March
2024
#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series
I cut an onion three days ago and my hands still smell like it. This is why I shouldn’t be cooking.
March
2024
Three Days Approaching Powerless Bliss
A spring ice storm is an infuriating event. Even under the best of circumstances, which would typically find them blowing quickly over, the ice and snow disappearing as quickly and easily as they came, they are an annoyance, lending danger to a time of the year when we just want to get out from under winter. Our recent bout with an ice storm took out several power lines and plunged us into a cold darkness that lasted three days.
After COVID, and after last year, a few days without electricity was merely annoying, and not as trying as it would have been without a bit of perspective. Andy and I grew a little closer in the shared endeavor of basic survival in ‘Little House on the Prairie’ fashion, lighting candles and warming our tea kettle on the gas fireplace, sole source of warmth in our basement. Suzie would later remind me that I’m more Nellie Olsen than Laura Ingalls, and who could argue with Suzie?
By the time the electricity came back on three days after we lost it, Andy and I both seemed to feel a little let-down at the not-so-sudden return to bright light, television noise, and all the beeps and bells and humming wizardry of modern technological advances. As much as I had missed the convenience of electricity, I also suddenly missed the quiet and stillness that the power outage had given us, whether we realized how much we wanted it or not.
March
2024
March
2024
Dazzler of the Day: Son Heung-Min
A recommendation from Suzie’s household, Son Heung-Min is our Dazzler of the Day, who has wowed football fans the world over for his on-field prowess and leadership for Tottenham Hotspurs. I like that team already. According to Suzie, he’s just pure class, full of sunny attitude, and friendly as fuck. More impressively to me, he was a Calvin Klein ambassador, who will likely be seen here again shortly.
March
2024
A Quick Blog Post Mostly by Suzie and Pat
It’s ok if the garlic dies.
It might be hardy enough.
I have to let the lilacs go.
If they grow back, great, if they don’t…
You know what’s going to survive?
Me.
You.
That’s going to live.
Those roots are intense.
March
2024
#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series
Every poo-poo time is a pee-pee time, but not every pee-pee time is a poo-poo time. Attributed to Tik Tok via Pat.
March
2024
Dazzler of the Day: Theo James
During the first season of ‘Downton Abbey‘ it was Theo James who ignited the most dramatic fall-out following a dalliance with Lady Mary (and unfortunately expiring in her bed). Since then, he’s gone on to make a name for himself, and his body, with head-turning performances in ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife’ and ‘The White Lotus‘. With this, he earns his first crowning as Dazzler of the Day, and these GIFs are more than ample justification for that… and more.
March
2024
Ice & Danger
Like other intriguing double-sworded events, an ice storm can be as beautiful as it is dangerous (and fucking annoying). I captured these photos at about the same time that our interior house temperature fell to what was outside (just kidding, it only felt that way). As the power is not yet on as of the time of this writing, if you don’t hear from me I’m either unable to post or I’ve expired from the cold. Fingers-crossed.
March
2024
Dazzler of the Day: Amelia Dimoldenberg
Amelia Dimoldenberg earns her first Dazzler of the Day thanks to her hilarious web series ‘Chicken Shop Date’, which leaves celebrities feeling as awkward and confused as the rest of us. Her humor has struck such a chord that she helmed the red carpet festivities for the most recent Academy Awards show.
March
2024
A Powerless Recap
This post is brought to you by the WiFi and electricity of Suzie and Pat, in whose home I currently write this recap, which will go live as we begin day three without electricity. The less said about that the better, so on with the weekly recap…
The first day of spring arrived – oh the irony!
A spring song for your listening pleasure.
Reviving a Broadway tradition with mother.
Madonna’s ‘Like A Prayer’ album turns 35.
How patchouli takes me back in time.
The BOLD and SEXY style of Luke Evans.
The backless gown reveals the ass.
When a peek at Justin Timberlake’s abs still isn’t enough.
This week kicked my ass, and I felt it.
A meditation upon ice in spring.
Unwieldy lettuce has been the bane of the salad.
Dazzlers of the Day included Lena Waithe, Noah Williams, Gaby Vincent and Basil Seggos.
March
2024
#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series
Unwieldy lettuce is the bane of any salad. Do not be afraid to chop it up.
March
2024
Dazzler of the Day: Basil Seggos
Full-disclosure: ultimately, if you follow my work office chain-of-command, this man is my boss. His name is Basil Seggos and he is the Commissioner of the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, a position from which he recently announced he will be stepping down. He easily earns this Dazzler of the Day because his eight-plus years as our Commissioner is, quite literally, a record-breaking run: Seggos has served in this position for longer than anyone else ever has. During that time, he’s had to deal with increasing challenges and complexities as the world grapples with climate change, environmental justice, and the constant intertwining of politics that is part of every state agency. Throughout it all, he’s maintained a focus fixed on the mission of our agency, while keeping an eye and a helpful push toward diversifying our work-force. In the few meetings I’ve had with him, he’s always been open to different ideas and viewpoints. In a recent interview with ‘City & State NY’ he said, “When we hit that point when we’re representative of New York state, we’re gonna be more effective as an agency because people will see themselves in us and want to be part of this agency and ultimately make us better as we do our important work in every community in their state.”
Being a commissioner is a tough balancing act, and there will always be contingents and people who have an issue or critique of how things are handled; Seggos has been open to those criticisms, and even set up open-door office hours where employees were free to discuss whatever they wanted with him. While he’s been coy about what’s next, his love for the state of New York and the mission of environmental conservation will surely play a part in whatever lucky entity ends up utilizing his talents.
{Requisite Personnel plug: if you’re looking for a rewarding career in Environmental Conservation, please visit the employment page of the DEC website here.}