Amid the hazy unfocused visage of a weeping cherry tree dangling its pretty pink blooms like ballerinas floating in the sky, I offer this visual hint of our upcoming summer theme. Think pink, think ribbons and bows, and think of an aestheticism that doesn’t go very deep. We need a break from all that is serious and somber, and though I’m aiming for a quiet summer, I’m open to a calm and tranquil bit of joy. This theme accomplishes that, and comes courtesy of my niece Emi, with some active encouragement and planning by Missy’s son Cameron. More – much more – on that in the coming weeks.
I’ve always believed that the children are our future – the twist is that they are teaching me well and leading the way to show me all the beauty of the world that still exists.
The twins finally joined me for our office’s annual ‘Take Our Children to Work Day’ and we all survived. Getting up at the crack-ass of dawn to make baked French toast is but one of the challenges that faced us, but it was all worth it. They seemed to enjoy their day away from Amsterdam, and it was fun having them join me for the office shenanigans. They also got praise from their group leader (thank you Betsy!) so they did us proud. I cannot say where they are headed in their future careers, as they don’t seem to have any idea on that front, but at least they’re aware of more options. (They may also want to get a job where they can safely retire at age 55 and not work into their 70’s to make ends meet, and if they follow a career with the state of New York and plot it out well, they could have that option too.)
We finished the day, then Uncle Andy joined us for dinner. Firmly entrenched in the age of 14, they are just about to find us tragically uncool. As long as they know we will always be there for them, it will be ok. And I’ve embraced being uncool since I was their age, so this is a land I have come to adore.
When the world spits rain and the night bleeds into the day, one look at my nephew Jaxon makes it all ok again. This post is just to remind you, and myself, of the joy that’s still here in the world, even if it’s sometimes hard to find or feel.
Entertainment legend Vanessa Williams has conquered just about every conceivable performing arts avenue, and she continues to astound and enthrall with new music (the upcoming ‘Legs (Keep Dancing)’ album) and a new musical (the London premiere of ‘The Devil Wears Prada‘ musical). Both sound extremely promising, and as someone who’s loved Williams since her tender ballad ‘Saved the Best For Last‘ through her stiletto-clicking turn on ‘Ugly Betty’ and a glorious spell as the Witch in the Broadway revival of ‘Into the Woods’, I cannot wait to see what comes next. She earns her first Dazzler of the Day for a magnificent career of spellbinding performances.
While Mercury in retrograde wreaked its customary havoc, mostly it was about dealing with bothersome people not knowing how to drive or dropping things like the pictured vase here. During all of this, Taylor Swift released her latest – ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ – a surprise double-album that I’m still digesting. Overall, I dig it, as it feels like a combo of the ‘folklore‘, ‘evermore‘ and ‘Midnights‘ albums, which are the ones that brought me into the Swifties club. This song stood out from the rest, and is delightfully indicative of the mess that Mercury and full moons can bring into existence.
I can read your mind She’s having the time of her life There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night I can show you lies (one, two, three)
‘Cause I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my shit They said, baby, gotta fake it ’til you make it and I did Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die
I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks ‘Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three)
I’m so depressed, I act like it’s my birthday every day I’m so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague I cry a lot but I am so productive, it’s an art You know you’re good when you can even do it With a broken heart
This one goes to anyone who’s ever gone into the world and put on a brave face when everything else is crumbling to the ground. It’s never good to keep things like that inside for long, but sometimes you have to do it – for work, for school, for family, for survival. Some people can’t do it – they can’t soldier on, they have to pause and break down – and my heart breaks for them a little. It breaks more for those of us who carry the weight and move forward with a brave, unbothered face.
He said he’d love me for all time But that time was quite short Breaking down, I hit the floor All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, “More” I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks ‘Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three)
I’m so depressed, I act like it’s my birthday every day
I’m so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague (he avoids me) I cry a lot but I am so productive, it’s an art
You know you’re good when you can even do it
With a broken heart
You know you’re good when you can even do it
With a broken heart
You know you’re good, I’m good
‘Cause I’m miserable
And no one even knows
Try to come for my job
Further thanks and gratitude to Victoria Beckham (still and always my favorite Spice Girl) whose social media posts occasionally and tantalizingly feature her husband David Beckham, who has been woefully absent from these posts of late. Let’s change that up and revisit the history of the man seen in the links below:
We want so badly to name and label everything around us, like the color of these azaleas. As an annoying Virgo, I understand the desire to organize the world into the known and the explainable. As someone who also understands how annoying that trait can be, I strive to embrace the frayed edges, the not-so-neat areas of haze and imprecision. And so I present these azaleas, without name or specific color designation, as seen on a lunch-time walk. That’s all, and that’s enough.
Saddled with an unfortunate clunker of a name, these Ranunculus deserve a better title, or maybe we just need to embrace the beauty of all names. These flowers have slowly been wilting away since our Purple Reign weekend – at the time of this writing there is only one left intact. Circle of life. Quick pretty hit and run. Back to life, back to reality… End of blog post.
You probably have’t noticed, but I’ve been stepping away from this blog and social media and even texting because, quite frankly, I’m sick of it all. More importantly, I’ve also been focusing on living, rather than writing about life, or sharing things on social media. It’s made for a much better head-space, a much happier countenance. If you are one of the few who have missed me, thank you. It’s nice to be missed.
It’s nice to be out there living too.
It comes down to a simple choice.
‘The Shawshank Redemption’ is one of those movies that has haunted me since the first time I saw it in the theater. (Yes, I was old to see it in the theater when it was originally released.) It’s one of those magical Zen-like movies that manages to lull one into a sense of calm and serenity despite its brutal savagery. I return to it, and the spell of its words, every couple of years, finding new scenes of revelation and grace amid its stark backdrop.
It reminds me to get out of my head, to get out of the prison of the mind, the prison of this online world. It instructs me to get out and get busy living – because the only way out is through. At those times, at those moments, I rejoin the living and reconnect to the world – our gorgeously imperfect and exquisitely flaw-filled world, with all its beauty and heartbreaking joy.
And if you’ll excuse me, and allow me such grace, I will step back from time to time, and stretch those step-backs out a little longer as the days and years pass, because no matter how much we sparkle, no matter how much we shine, sooner or later we all fade away.
I never meant to cause you any sorrow I never meant to cause you any pain I only wanted one time to see you laughing I only want to see you laughing in the purple rain
I met my friend Ann way back in 7th grade, circa 1987, and a year later we had hit it off, sharing most of the honor courses in middle school and high school. We had similar senses of humor, finding the ridiculousness in so much of life, particularly the life of a teenager, and we held onto each other in the kinship of misfit outsiders. Life wreaked its ruthless havoc on us, and as the world pummeled us for not seeming to belong, we found safety and security in one another. Our friendship was a life-sustaining force for me during my late teenage years, and she would be there when no one else could. That laid the history and groundwork for a lifelong friendship, and though it’s been about a decade since we’ve seen each other in person, through letters and texts and correspondence, we’ve kept in touch, and that friendship has never wavered.
“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”
The last few times we’ve seen each other have been for funerals, and that’s no way to see a dear friend. This reunion was a very long time coming, and as Ann would later point out, it was precisely what we needed without realizing how badly we needed it.
Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing It’s time we all reach out for something new That means you too You say you want a leader But you can’t seem to make up your mind I think you better close it And let me guide you to the purple rain
We spent the day catching up and talking, shifting our little groups as Andy joined in after a Lowe’s grill mix-up (still awaiting a call back from that manager, days later) and soon – too soon – it was time for bed. There’s no way I can properly convey how lovely this weekend was for us – as our world grows ever dimmer, simply being with good friends is good for the soul. Both Ann and Josie have been two of those ‘safe’ friends whom I consider family – the very few people I trust implicitly and around whom I can completely let down my guard and entirely be myself. Those friends are few and far between, but whenever we get to share time and space, it reaffirms my hope and faith in the world.
“It’s all happening!”
Having reconnected, and introduced Ann and Josie officially to each other, we are looking ahead to doing this again sooner rather than later. We’ve all lost people near and dear to us, and I think we feel the precious passing of hours, aware that time together is more important now than ever.
So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills You know the one Dr. Everything’ll Be Alright Instead of asking him how much of your time is left Ask him how much of your mind, baby
‘Cause in this life Things are much harder than in the afterworld In this life You’re on your own
And if the elevator tries to bring you down Go crazy!!!
Setting up our Purple Reign weekend was a labor of love, designed to be the first meeting of two of my besties who had become friends in their own right, and the first time I’d seen Ann in what may well be over a decade. It all felt too good to be true, and so we charged ahead, hyping it with purple boxes announcing the Purple Reign theme, with loads of lavender, lots of purple love, and a soundtrack largely by Prince (with some healthy doses of Madonna and Bon Jovi thrown in for 80’s pleasure).
We would spend the weekend defying the notion of the opening intro that ‘in this life, you’re on your own’ – because on this weekend, we were in it together. More to come…
Dr. Everything’ll-Be-All-Right
Will make everything go wrong Pills and thrills and daffodils will kill Hang tough, children He’s coming
He’s coming
Coming…
Susan Brumley has what I consider to be the perfect FaceBook page. She is real and honest, yet errs on the side of what’s hopeful and positive and good. She calls herself out for when she realizes she’s being cranky, works on being ever-present and mindful, and has a witty and wicked sense of humor about life and herself that brightens my world every time I see one of her posts. For that alone she would easily earn this Dazzler of the Day, but she’s also been a company manager for an entire slew of Broadway and touring shows including ‘The Book of Mormon’, ‘Evita’, ‘Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812‘, ‘Sister Act’, ‘Hairspray’ and her current stint at the ‘Hamilton’ Phillip Tour. (She’s often the sole person I consult when plotting out any shows I’m considering attending.)
I remember Susan from grade school and middle school, where she was a grade ahead of me, and one of the smartest people in her class, if not the entire school. Such intelligence thrilled and impressed me, and when she started anchoring the student news programs that opened the day at Wilbur H. Lynch Middle School, I was even more dazzled. She was an inspiration because I thought she would charge into life being whatever she wanted to be, and it looks like that is exactly what she’s achieved.
