According to certain ancient and outdated edicts, a lady is never supposed to reveal her true age, but fuck that patriarchal garbage, especially when someone like my friend JoAnn is involved. Defying what society seems to want to do to women over a certain age, JoAnn has aged beautifully and gracefully, albeit with as much resistance as possible. Her youthful spirit used to wilt at the notion of growing older, and I distinctly remember a living room all-nighter in which all of us gathered wondered whether she’d make it to the morning, much less to the 40-year mark. That was ten years ago. When she triumphed over both, I had an inkling that she’d surprise herself, and most of her friends, by leaning into her adult years, and whether she realizes it or not, she’s made a remarkable success of that.
Life doesn’t get easier as we grow older – we lose loved ones, we lose the ease of youth, we lose the ability to physically and mentally bounce back like we once did. But oh what we gain – all the knowledge and wisdom and confidence – the genuine confidence and grace to be ok with who we are, with what we like, and with what we will not by any means accept or tolerate. That makes life a lot more enjoyable the older we get, and it’s the trade-off of letting go of some other more frivolous, and once seemingly-more-important items.
JoAnn is one of my life-long friends who has made it this far largely on her own. That has never been lost on me, and is one of the many reasons I hold her so close to my heart. Happy birthday, my friend – let’s celebrate over the next two weekends!
