Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Return to Lilium

One of the best summer flowers for color and spectacle in the garden is the lily. There are true lilies, from the Lilium genus, and day-lilies, which are actually a perennial called Hemerocallis. For this post, I’m just talking about the true lilies, which come from a bulb, and are available in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Their widely-ranging variety lends them useful for creating a summer-season-long run of blooms.

Sadly for us, these bulbs are adored by all the creatures we have roaming in the underground labyrinth of tunnels they’ve created, and I’ve never been able to get a safely-robust stand of them going. We had an Oriental variety that managed to escape their wrath for a few years, but it eventually ended up dying out. 

Given the renaissance of iris we’ve had, I may try again, because such beauty is worth the effort.

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Dazzler of the Day: Adam Lambert

There is perhaps no one who more fabulously encompasses the Dazzler of the Day crown than Adam Lambert. He’s been celebrated on this blog numerous times before today, because he’s been impressing audiences since he burst onto the world scene during his ‘American Idol’ run. Bold and brilliant and unabashedly himself at a time when the world wants to shun such visionary bravery, Lambert holds his head rightfully high, soaring on his insanely-talented vocal prowess and show-stopping theatrics. No one knows how to entertain and enthrall quite so electrifyingly. Check out his website here for further evidence of his brilliance, and where you might see him perform next. 

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Rainy Monday Recap

After a glorious weekend, it seems the weather has caught up with the general sentiment of the sane and humane people of our country. These are dark times, my friends – a worldwide pandemic rages on, the rights of women are being stripped and set back fifty years, and one whole political party would rather see guns available to all than safe and affordable healthcare. Whenever the world deals us a blow against human rights – and as a member of the LGBTQ+ community I have personally felt more than a few of them over my lifetime – I tend to turn to my chosen person, hunker down in our home, and shut the outside world out. So it was that we spent this weekend by the pool, working in the gardens (mostly watering to keep things alive in such heat) and watching a movie to lighten the mood (in this case it was ‘Spotlight’, the one about the Catholic priests who molested thousands of kids in Boston). On with the rainy recap…

Do you remember how we used to live?

A song for a summer night, because music hits differently in the heat. 

A summer friend returns

Little drops of sun on the ground

Finally enough love, but never enough Madonna. 

A trio of summer smiles

Because Pride still matters – perhaps now more than ever. 

Lulled by the sea and drawn by the undertow of downtime, this year’s BroSox Adventure was everything Skip and I wanted it – and needed it – to be. 

Speaking now or forever hold your rights.

An old love rekindled. 

A simple but divine summer dinner

Dazzlers of the Day included Billy Reilich and Fabio Bonavento

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Summer Scallops

One of our favorite summer dinners is a simple plate of grilled scallops with a few vegetables. These were brought to us from our dear friend Ali, fresh from the Atlantic, and we froze half of the batch to bring them out for just such an afternoon. Andy put them together using just olive oil, salt and pepper – and I quickly sautéed some sugar snap peas in olive oil and butter, sprinkling some sea salt and black pepper on them as they cooked. A spicy addition of some Moroccan-flavored carrots and potatoes rounded out the plate, and voila – a simple but oh-so-good summer dinner. 

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An Old Love Rekindled

It was the summer of 1987 and at the ripe old age of twelve I’d already fallen in love. 

Even more strange was that I hadn’t even seen the object of my desire in person – only pictures and images in catalogs and books – yet I knew what my heart wanted. 

It wasn’t Madonna, who was about to unleash the fabulous song (and wretched movie) called ‘Who’s That Girl’. It wasn’t the school jock who lived a few blocks away, though we’d shared a tender good-bye to childhood right about that time. It wasn’t even a person. 

My heart belonged to a flower – an iris. 

Enraptured by Lee Bailey’s stunning photos and descriptions of the various iris plants he grew, I’d been under their spell even though the only ones I’d ever seen in real life had been the common bearded variety, which bloomed rather early in the season. Suzie’s family garden had a big bed of them, and to this day their spicy fragrance brings me back to those idyllic days

While the bearded iris and their tubers were lovely, I longed for something more rare, and something that bloomed deeper into the summer months. I wanted the Japanese iris. 

As described by Mr. Bailey, these were magnificent plants that held butterfly-like blooms high in the air, elegantly and delicately swaying in the slightest breeze. They came in purple and white, and new hybridizers were working on pinks. Though I searched for them everywhere, the closest I could find was a Siberian iris, which more than happily filled the hole in my heart. 

My Mom allowed me two Siberian iris plants from Faddegon’s, and I planted them near the front of our perennial border that June. They already had buds on them, and I would eagerly return home from school and bolt to the backyard to see if they had bloomed. It seemed to take forever – almost the entire month went by before they deigned to open up. When at last they did, their dark purple flowers were as beautiful as I’d anticipated – a rare moment when expectation met reality, and the heart sang for such a gorgeous sight. Those Siberian iris would expand each year, and eventually I would separate them and re-plant them, sending some to friends, moving others to various spots in the yard, and to this day there is a big clump of them in my parents’ backyard, and one in mine as well. 

That is not, however, the plant you see pictured here. This is the long-sought-after Japanese iris, the original holder of my heart, and that first brush with plant love was rekindled this week when it finally came into bloom after years of neglect. 

When we first moved into our home, I couldn’t wait to try a Japanese iris. I planted it in a space off of the pool, but far from a hose or water source, and somewhat in the shade, which meant it didn’t get the wet and sunny conditions it thrives in. Other plants filled in and took over my attention, so this one blended into the background, its handsome sword-like leaves standing on their own and giving a striking vertical element to the space, but no blooms came, so I sort of gave up on it. 

As the best of perennials do, it came back year after year, producing a relatively small fan of leaves, but nothing else, until I was about to dig it out last year. Fortunately, there was a new space created by a cherry we’d cut down (shout out to George Washington), and with nothing else to fill it, I moved the iris there. It was close to the hose at last, and I decided to pamper it a bit for a year to see what it might produce. As the season progressed, and I kept the watering up, along with some fertilization, the leaves expanded and grew into a fine and impressive clump – much thicker and more robust than any other year. It must have liked all the new sun and nourishment it was getting, but it was too soon for a flower to show up, so I put it to bed last fall with the hope of something better this year.

The reward came this past week, when it unfurled these majestic blooms, beautifully veined and accented with little throats of golden sunshine, and my love affair with the iris was instantly rekindled. (I’m once again on the hunt for a pink variety…)

 

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Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Rights

It is difficult to put into exact words the mix of anger, rage, weariness, fright, worry, and determination I feel after hearing of the Supreme Court’s rulings on abortion and guns this past week. That the highest court of our great country is now populated by a majority of people completely and entirely out of step with the majority of America is a problem many of us predicted when Donald Trump was running against Hillary Clinton in 2016, and these are the fruits of that disastrous election. The man who incited and executed an attempted coup of America, the man who refused to act like a true American and participate in the orderly transition of leadership, and the man who was more focused on illegally extending his role as President than helping us through the COVID pandemic, installed three of the justices who are now stripping Americans of their rights. All three of those justices lied under oath when they claimed Roe versus Wade was settled law and they saw no need to change it. 

Most people who lie on their job application or during their job interviews don’t end up getting the job, or are subsequently fired from the job. That’s how it works, unless you’re on the Supreme Court, where honesty and integrity and basic human decency no longer matter.

Many of us understand that this is precisely what the Republican Party has been working toward for years. It’s why I was so adamant that every Presidential election was also a Supreme Court election. These awful decisions are also enshrined in the current Republican platform, and the only way to begin righting the wayward ship that America has become is to vote them out in this year’s elections, and all elections, until they start speaking for the people they represent. 

I am lucky enough to never have been in a situation where abortion would have to be a choice for me, and if I were, I don’t know what that decision would be. But that should be a personal decision for anyone and everyone faced with that choice – because it is a choice. The right to choose doesn’t infringe on anyone else’s rights – taking away that choice absolutely does. 

For those who don’t believe abortion should be allowed, you absolutely have the right to those beliefs, and you have the right to not have an abortion. If you’ve been raped as a teenage girl, you have the right to carry the baby to term. If you have an ectopic pregnancy that will ultimately end up killing you, you have the right to see it through whatever might result. What you don’t have the right to do is tell another woman she can’t make her own choices. 

Our country must start to speak out against these decisions, and then we must vote against the party whose platform is officially against choice, against marriage equality, and against the very rights for which America was created. 

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Lulled By the Sea, An Undertow of Downtime: BroSox Adventure 2022

When Skip and I embarked upon our very first BroSox Adventure, we were in our thirties, but could do it up like we were in our twenties, and we often did. These days, in our forties, our adventures have taken on a new tone, shifting as the world has so dramatically shifted over the past few years, and all happily for the better. So it was that we entered Boston on Friday afternoon, with a sky that suddenly parted to reveal the sun and a vast expanse of blue. In our pre-planning expeditions, I’d proposed a loose sea theme, envisioning loads of time in the Seaport and walking along the harbor. In the back of my head, I also had a back-up plan of a Downtime/Downtown theme if the seaside proved unwieldy for weather or any other reason. 

Luckily, the sea and the water cooperated, and we began with an omakase style diner at Zuma, which was a belated birthday gift for Skip. Andy and I had enjoyed this very dinner a few birthdays ago, but this time I would be sharing it with someone who loved sushi as much as I did, and the meal did not disappoint. 

As we sat there enjoying each of the many courses, a lovely woman at the table next to us overheard some of our banter, and when her husband left the table for a moment she leaned over and asked if we were a couple. 

“Oh God no,” I blurted out, to Skip’s bemused chuckle, and he promptly brought her up to speed on our friendship. After her husband returned, we went back to our own conversations and I expressed concern/confusion over why some have assumed we were a couple. “I talk to everyone like this,” I said.

“No, you don’t,” he countered. “We have our own banter.” And I realized he was right. It was a combination of whatever separate ways we might have with wit, and the way those wits complemented and collided at times. It was the language of friendship – the kind that is unique to each friend – and I would understand it more as the weekend wore on.

The next morning we arrived in the Seaport, taking an early stroll along the harbor, drinking in the scent and sight of the ocean. On the way, Skip waxed rhapsodic about a certain New England clam chowder bread bowl that he got at Fanueil Hall, and suddenly there was no other choice for lunch. We wound our way back along the harbor, ducking onto the edge of downtown before arriving at the food hall and paying through our eyes for a bread bowl that was worth every one of its many pennies. 

The sea was in the air, and our seaside excursion was demanding a siesta. In the unsaid agreement of two friends who could feel their way together without cluttered conversation, we headed back to the condo for an afternoon siesta and some stoop gazing before the game. 

Skip had brought a few games, including one called ‘The Mind’ which requires the players to be ‘in sync’ with one another – and we did passably well. It re-enforced the notion of being at a place in our friendship where we simply maneuvered our way effortlessly through the ebb and flow of a Boston weekend where downtime and quick naps were more important than bar-hopping or midnight wanderings through Chinatown hunting for Peking duck. Not that our adventures on either front are at an end ~ we just found enough fun playing a few games while looking out over Braddock Park before departing for the game. 

As for the game, it was a bit of a bust. The Fenway frank was easily the best part, as the Sox did not play well at all, and when they were down 11-2 before the 8th, we both had had our fill, so we joined the throngs in departing the carnage a bit early. That meant we also missed a surprise appearance by Neil Diamond for his signature Red Sox song ‘Sweet Caroline’, but I think we were both ok with it. The weather had turned on us, and it was dipping into the 50’s by the time we shuffled back into the condo for a relatively early night. 

Getting older is always a crap shoot. Sometimes it’s gratifying and grand – the gaining of certain wisdom and knowledge more than worth the wrinkles and gray hair – and sometimes it’s terrifying and worrisome – the health issues, the loss of people you know and love, the changing world that feels so strange and unlike the world in which we grew up. The only way to get through it with any sense of safety and happiness is to create a circle of friends and family who always have your back, who make the space where you feel comfortable and appreciated. When you find your tribe you suddenly feel like you can make it through the tough times. Skip is part of that tribe for me, and I’m grateful for getting to share another year of BroSox Adventures with him. 

 

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Because Pride Still Matters

Ballet dancers and hairdressers and drag queens made it safe for football players to come out and not the other way around. Effeminate men who couldn’t hide who they were and were constantly told they were weak—because our misogynistic culture associates femininity with weakness—those guys made it safe for masculine men to come out.” ~ Dan Savage

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A Trio of Summer Smiles

The third day of summer is at hand, and the first Friday of summer at the same time, so despite the unexpected work day at the office (plans were canceled at the last minute) I’m still going to ride through the hours in a state of hopeful happiness as the heat rises for the weekend. 

To welcome that heat and humidity, here is a trio of blooms currently dotting the backyard, bringing a happy face to our poolside lounging. 

Summer living is supposed to be easy – relaxed and loose – mirroring the carefree days of childhood, the joy of holidays, the sunny sweet spot of a mid-afternoon siesta. That spirit is something I will attempt to conjure again, and I will try to carry it through the day. Happy Friday… Happy Summer.

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Madonna: Finally Enough Love

At the time of this posting the first format of Madonna’s dance hit collection – ‘Finally Enough Love‘ – will have been released, the perfect soundtrack to the summer that’s ahead. The full 50-song set drops later in August, and Madonna has been back in the promotional spotlight, performing at a Gay Pride event tonight to get us all pumped for the new release. While I’d prefer new music, Madonna’s classic dance vibes will easily do for the summer. ‘Vogue‘, ‘Turn Up the Radio‘, ‘Celebration‘, ‘Music‘, ‘Ray of Light‘ and ‘Express Yourself’ have all formed the backbones of summer sounds over the last three decades. Get up on the dance floor!

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Dazzler of the Day: Fabio Bonavento

His fashion site just launched some fabulous terry cloth shorts, and ever since I was a kid celebrating a birthday at Burger King in a terry cloth romper, I’ve adored the fabric, especially for summer. For Fabio Bonavento, combining fashion and feel-good moments is one of life’s greatest pleasures. He earns this Dazzler of the Day feature for all of his creative endeavors, more of which can be found here. His Fafabon brand celebrates a lifestyle of inclusivity and pride, perfect for this particular month. 

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Little Drops of Sun on the Ground

These are some of the happiest little flowers, opening just as the summer season begins. Called ‘sundrops’ by some, for obvious reasons, and ‘evening primrose’ by others, for the way they open mostly at dawn or dusk, and Oenothera by a plant-loving nerd like myself, they are, no matter what you call them, bright and cheery harbingers of the sunny season. 

They can also colonize a patch of the garden quite quickly, perhaps too quickly if you have strict boundaries. Personally, I like a tough little cookie, especially when it brightens a summer morning. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Billy Reilich

Not-quite-fresh from Ellen’s garden, where he portrayed Nick the Gardener a few years ago, Billy Reilich has entered the OnlyFans world, where he’s been greeted with the expected reception someone well-built and handsome demands. That’s more than enough to crown him Dazzler of the Day, and second acts are always welcome here.

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Our Summer Friend Clem

She’s been with us since we moved into our home twenty years ago.

When I realized we had a lamp post in our yard, I immediately went out and got a standard-issue clematis – the basic variety in plain purple that winds itself up and around whatever is available to climb (with some help) and comes back year after year if made decently comfortable. 

Clematis follows the trajectory of many vines: the first year it sleeps, the second year it creeps, and the third year it leaps. It’s been leaping for a while now, and though there are years when I neglect it, or forget to tie it up during its main growth spurt in spring, it’s still throwing our flowers and beauty with reliable and consistent attitude

Clem likes her arms and branches warm, high, and dry, while her roots enjoy shade and water. I’ve indulged her in that respect, planting a ground cover of sedum to keep her patch of earth shaded during the day, and I’ve been fertilizing her well to keep both sedum and her own roots happy and well-fed. Just a little effort brings forth spectacular blooms as seen here, made more remarkable for their appearance at eye-level, and welcome masking of a rather dour lamp post. 

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Song for a Summer Night

There is a small sliver of irony in this summer song, given the fact that I no longer drink wine, but others do, and summer is definitely a time for enjoying liquid nourishment, even if mine doesn’t include alcohol. Mocktails work just as well, and are better for keeping hydrated anyway. Drama arrives in a song, and has no need for hard drinks to aid in its pesky, if occasionally exciting, madness. 

Strawberries, cherries and an angel’s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
I walked in town on silver spurs that jingled to
A song that I had only sang to just a few
She saw my silver spurs and said let’s pass some time
And I will give to you summer wine
Oh, oh summer wine

Strawberries, cherries and an angel’s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Oh, oh summer wine
My eyes grew heavy and my lips they could not speak
I tried to get up but I couldn’t find my feet
She reassured me with an unfamiliar line
And then she gave to me more summer wine
Oh, oh summer wine
The era of grand and elaborate summer parties has long since departed. These days we keep our gatherings to a minimum. Summer is more enjoyable that way, and somehow there is just as much excitement. All it takes is a song, a breeze, and a couple of candles to light the night. 

Strawberries cherries and an angel’s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Mmm-mm summer wine
When I woke up the sun was shining in my eyes
My silver spurs were gone, my head felt twice its size
She took my silver spurs, a dollar and a dime
And left me cravin’ for more summer wine
Oh, oh summer wine

The pool glows differently when viewed through the lens of darkness and night, not unlike the different glow one gets from summer wine. While that view has shifted for me, the thrill of a summer night remains the same. Beauty and heat and moths drawn by the light, and the possibility of a midnight dip to quell the sweat. 

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