Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Vertranquility

Perhaps no other plant produces quite the sensation of calm and tranquility than the fern does. With their graceful arching fronds, and often-intricately-divided leaves that look more like lace than some spore-sown terrestrial being, ferns run the gamut from tiny and delicate to towering and awe-inspiring. For our gardens here in upstate New York, ferns provide a varied and constantly undulating form that adds elegance and grace to any setting. 

With the exception of the potted Kimberly ferns that we replace each year, all of our ferns are winter-hardy, surviving the brutality of a Zone 5 snow and ice laden landscape, exhibiting a durability that belies their fine form. A beauty that’s also a brute – that’s my kind of plant

Aside from their hardiness, I grow ferns for the peaceful countenance they give the garden. Whether it’s the five-finger Maidenhair fern, with her stunning black stems and kelly green matte leaflets fluttering in the slightest breeze, or the dramatic ostrich fern, rising to four feet of bright chartreuse brilliance when its feet are kept wet and its fiddleheads unfurl to their full height, or the magnificent Japanese painted fern, which lives up to and beyond its name with some spectacular foliage that looks positively-painted-on by some genius alchemist of color, our fern collection is a way of keeping things cool when summer heat threatens to overwhelm.

In certain summer situations, simply arming the landscape with scenes of serenity can create the illusion of calm that ultimately lends a cooling effect to those present. That’s the real power of the fern, and we have it in plenty. 

Continue reading ...

A Visit from the Birthday Boy

My ancient, old friend Chris graced us with a visit last week, just a few days prior to his birthday, so this is my small way of thanking him for stopping in, as well as wishing him a prosperous and healthy year ahead. We go way, way, way, way back, so far that I barely recognize the dark-haired gents we were in those early twenty-something years. Such a rich and layered history of friendship affords us a security and safety in one another’s company, more akin to brotherhood than the casual way friendship is tossed around these days. And while it took us over a quarter of a century to figure out the formula, it appears our perfect time together is roughly a day and a half. (According to Suzie, that’s cumulative time, so if we spread it out over a few days, any visit can be quite enjoyable.) Happy birthday, buddy – here’s to many more years of fun and adventure! 

PS – You left the book I gave you in the attic, so you’ll have to come back again soon. Unless you did it on purpose, in which case you don’t deserve it. In peace & divinity! #blessed 

Continue reading ...

A Gloriously Hazy Recap

Having just returned from an enchanting couple of days in Boston and Provincetown – including a stay at one of the famed dune shacks, I am in no mood to return to a week of work, so I will extend this calm and tranquil vacation feeling for as long as possible, retaining the balmy relaxed air of sunshine and sea in everything I do during the week. Mind over matter… and on with the recap. 

Express yourself, don’t repress yourself.

A summer day with Dad.

A pretty imposter.

Get a gander at this weed.

A pair of pinks going to battle. 

A baby bunny grows up.

My husband the cop.

Summer night tranquility.

California.

Our lone Dazzler of the Day was more than worthy of standing alone ~ Cynthia Erivo. 

Continue reading ...

California

I need to persuade people to visit one of the more touristed places on earth.

You write this one, I’ll edit yours. 

{Laughter.}

I’m about to…

Dude, I’m so relaxed.

Power of the pool and then meditation and you want me to write a fucking blog post? I’m done with work. 

I’m done. 

What did you write so far.

I hear typing.

Hmmm.

Let’s just free-associate.

Let’s just talk first. 

Do you want to know about the landscape, the people, the vibe?

Why are you typing?

This isn’t genius, this is stupid.

Are you going to write that down too?

Macaroni salad.

Continue reading ...

Summer Night Tranquility

Wrinkly fingers.

Saved 25 June bugs from uncertain demise. 

Revealed the stories of how you almost died in the Audi. 

It was a lovely meal – you could describe the meal. The Calamansi cooler. A visit from Suzie. Perfect weather. 

In no particular order.

Great chicken.

Quinoa salad.

Meditated.

People will be mesmerized by this. 

Like really good macaroni salad. 

(This post was written by a guest of honor who shall remain nameless.)

Continue reading ...

My Husband the Cop

There are good cops and there are bad cops, and all sorts of in-between. There are also systemic problems that run through police culture, and have been part of that very system for centuries. This post isn’t going to offer any solutions or recommendations on any of that because I simply don’t have the answers. I do, however, have a husband who is a retired cop, and from all that I have heard and know, he was a pretty good one. 

Andy started off as a volunteer firefighter (coming from a long line of firefighters in his family, including his grandfather who was one of the founders of the Guilderland Fire Department, and the last living charter member at one point), then became a dispatcher and volunteer paramedic, before finally taking a job as a police officer, where he would have remained were it not for an unfortunate injury that cut it all short years before I met him. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had met him when he was an officer. I don’t know if I could have lived that life, and as a police officer he probably could not have handled mine; he once made it clear that if I ever broke the law he wouldn’t have been an alibi. (Like if I had to murder someone and it wasn’t necessarily self-defense – a question I may have asked on our second date.)

To do all of those things – firefighter, dispatcher, paramedic, police officer – requires someone with a strong heart and an unyielding belief in justice and helping people. It demands a fortitude built on more than self-gratification, and it requires a desire to help everyone in need. Not everyone can or should take up such a life, and sometimes the best would-be-officers are those who know enough not to pursue the career if they are not cut out for it. There’s no shame in that either, as I happily count myself as one of them. (Not that I’d ever even contemplated such a career.) 

But for those that do feel such a calling, for those who still want to make a difference, and to perhaps work from the inside to improve and change a system that admittedly needs some work, there are a few exams being given in New York State, including two that are housed in my own agency, the Department of Environmental Conservation. The exam announcements for our Environmental Conservation Police Officer and Forest Ranger titles are currently up and open for applications (until August 3, 2022) and they are hoping to cull a diverse and broad candidate field, so if you or anyone you know may be interested, please visit this Civil Service webpage for further details and information

As for my husband Andy, the photograph below was taken during his dispatcher days – a springboard for many an officer – and I think we need to take a moment to appreciate how cute he was, even in the requisite police mustache of the 80’s. (Also, respect the landline.)

Continue reading ...

A Baby Bunny Grows Up

This little rabbit has been growing at a quick pace, chomping on any and every plant in its path, but happily keeping mostly to the grass, which could use a trim anyway. While we typically shoo these away – they can do some significant damage to garden plants and vegetables – this year the baby was too cute to scare off, so we’ve been allowing it a fair share of petunias and sweet potato vines in exchange for poses like this. 

Such is the evolution of my gardening parameters – an easing of the strict no-rabbits rule that once dominated the area. The heart grows softer with age in some respects, and baby bunnies are part of that respect. Now if a groundhog starts coming by again, that will be a different story with an unhappier ending… 

 

Continue reading ...

A Pair of Pinks in Battle

My gardening inspiration Lee Bailey had an interesting tale of the two plants pictured here – a foxglove and a delphinium. He wrote that for years growing up in the south, all he wanted to grow were delphiniums, but they never made it through those hot summers. As soon as he moved to Bridgehampton, New York he immediately planted a few delphinium plants, which quickly cowered and faded before the seaside winds and rain. He tried again, to no avail. 

Seeking a strong vertical accent, he turned to foxgloves, and though he initially considered them a mere substitute, he came to love them and their whimsically-unreliable biennial growing pattern. It was one of the best group of lessons I learned from him – to take a disappointment and turn it around, to try out something similar if what you originally wanted didn’t work out perfectly, and to compromise and be willing to bend when nature refused to go along with your well-laid-out plans. Such garden lessons were valuable for other aspects of life too. 

When I was at the garden center looking for new inspiration, I came upon these two pink plants – one foxglove and one delphinium, and I was reminded of Mr. Bailey’s words of wisdom. 

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Cynthia Erivo

One letter away from being an EGOT recipient, Cynthia Erivo has already earned an Emmy, a Grammy, and a Tony Award. She will appear as complex heroine Elphaba in the double-film version of ‘Wicked’ (next to Ariana Grande’s Galinda), and I can’t wait to see her fly. This marks a long overdue crowning as Dazzler of the Day, which egregiously isn’t considered part of the EGOT quartet. 

Continue reading ...

Get A Gander at This Weed

Asclepias – more commonly known as the butterfly weed – is in full bloom right now, its fiery orange flower heads acting as the perfect landing pads of butterflies and bees alike. It’s one of my favorite perennials in the border, and not just because it’s the favored meal of the caterpillars that eventually become Monarch butterflies. Its glorious color seems to perfectly embody the month of July – all fire and heat and brilliance. 

These plants like to be in a moist spot, where they can reach up toward the sun while their feet soak up the water. I believe they develop a deep tap root, which makes moving older specimens risky business best avoided if possible. They are so easy to get started though, we almost always have volunteers coming up, and if caught early enough they do well enough with a quick move. 

The bees love this too, which is how all the pollination happens. 

Continue reading ...

A Pretty Imposter

Andy and I were both excited to see what we thought was the first Monarch butterfly of the season. It felt a little early, so I went out to catch a photo and inspect its arrival, and instead of a true Monarch there was this pretty little imposter. Just as welcome, and just as pretty. 

The Monarch will arrive a bit later in the summer, when the cup plants are high, but given the fast rate that this season is progressing, that could be any day now. We will watch the skies for their return, and prepare the way. Prettiness stills all in its path. 

 

Continue reading ...

A Summer Day with Dad

As he approaches 92 years of life, my Dad understandably has more bad days than good ones, but every once in a while he has a decent day that brings him back to us, and glimmers of the man who raised me appear. Such was the happy summer day when my Mom took Noah to see the Van Gogh exhibit, and I stayed with Dad for the morning and afternoon. 

There are days when he doesn’t quite recognize anyone – not his family or friends, not his health aides or caretakers – and those are difficult. On this day he knew me, even if he couldn’t recall the health aide who was just finishing up his bath when I arrived. 

He seems to do a little better in the summer, when he can amble about carefully outside, with some help. Before lunch, I decided to take him on a very short walk, just along the sidewalk in front of my parents’ home. At first he was hesitant, saying it was too hot, but I simply walked him outside and said it’s cool in the shade. There was also a nice breeze which pushed him forward. We stayed mostly in the shade of the two maple trees near the sidewalk. He pushed his walker, and I put my hand on his back for extra support. 

We went back inside, but about half an hour later he moved to the front door, this time without his walker, so I took his arm and we went outside again. When he’s in the mood to walk, it’s best to take advantage and get some exercise and exertion in. We went around the front sidewalk again, and as we came back up to the side porch, he kept walking up the step onto the porch and into the shaded nook. Mom had set up a table and chairs there, so we sat down, and I put the mail from the mailbox onto the table. He went through it, more out of habit than any sort of real reading, but it occupied his hands, and gave us something to do as we sat there in the breeze. 

We returned inside and I got lunch ready. We ate unhurriedly, and despite the large plate I put together for him, he finished most of it. He’s maintained a decent appetite in his later years, much to everyone’s relief. He got up from the table but I asked him to wait, as I rushed to get some ice cream in a bowl for our dessert. I wasn’t fast enough, and he was already up and heading back to the family room, but I re-routed him to the table again, and when he saw the ice cream I said it was for him to eat, so he sat and ate it. Sometimes re-routing works, sometimes it doesn’t. 

We moved to the living room, from where we could look out into the little koi pond outside the window. He likes to watch the fish and feed them, and they were good enough to swim about and show off for him to see. A few months ago, on a winter’s day when I was staying with him, I stood with him looking out onto the snow-covered backyard. At that time I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I got shy and thought it might sound foolish, so I didn’t. Ever since then I wanted to make sure I said it to him because every day matters now. 

As we talked about the fish, and counted how many there were, I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Love you, Dad.” I hoped I said it loud enough so he could hear me – I needed him to hear me this time. Without pause he said, “Love you too.”

It was a very good day. 

Continue reading ...

Respect Yourself – Hey, Hey!

All right America – do you believe in love?

For some of a certain age, the summer of 1989 was defined by Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’ – and for those too young to remember that, it’s now a year-round anthem for whenever I feel like we need to kick some ass. And there is no time like the present for kicking some ass…

Whether you have to fight for the integrity of our great country, or have your eye on something smaller like simply making it through the workday, ‘Express Yourself’ is a ball-busting exercise in maintaining a belief in yourself, a striking reminder to say what you mean and mean what you say. Who better to deliver such a message than Madonna? 

“WITHOUT THE HEART, THERE CAN BE NO UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN THE HAND AND THE MIND.”

Continue reading ...

American Recap

Usually Monday morning is when we reconvene after the weekend to do a weekly recap, but with yesterday’s holiday, we are pushing it back to now, so let’s look quickly back over the last week, then proceed with the new one at hand, amid the explosions of fireworks and all the requisite bombast.

Return to Lilium.

Petunia power!

When you simply must pea.

The humble and majestic BLT.

Don’t sleep on my Insta.

Madonna love back in full-effect.

Closing out Pride Month.

Flaming July.

A lazy mocktail for a hazy day.

Wet thighs don’t lie.

Summer in July.

The balm of bees.

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do!

Swimming pool Speedo summer.

Born in the U.S.A.

A grand old flag.

Dazzlers of the Day included Adam Lambert and Chris Salvatore

Continue reading ...

A Grand Old Flag

Is there anything more gaudy and self-glorifying than a 4th of July celebration? I hope not, because this country can’t handle any more gaudiness or self-glorification right now. Of course, both of those are cornerstones of my wheelhouse – even if a wheel doesn’t technically have corners. Welcome to the more fun Independence Day post (as opposed to this more serious one where I still manage to front with an ass-shake, and will do again below). 

Happy Birthday America. You are all sorts of messy right now, but you remain beloved, and you will come back to your ideals and the dreams that made you possible in the first place. To return to a more serious and somber sentiment, and a hopefully hopeful note, here is a stunning poem by Amanda Gorman to close out the day.

“New Day’s Lyric” by Amanda Gorman

May this be the day
We come together.
Mourning, we come to mend,
Withered, we come to weather,
Torn, we come to tend,
Battered, we come to better.
Tethered by this year of yearning,
We are learning
That though we weren’t ready for this,
We have been readied by it.
We steadily vow that no matter
How we are weighed down,
We must always pave a way forward.

This hope is our door, our portal.
Even if we never get back to normal,
Someday we can venture beyond it,
To leave the known and take the first steps.
So let us not return to what was normal,
But reach toward what is next.

What was cursed, we will cure.
What was plagued, we will prove pure.
Where we tend to argue, we will try to agree,
Those fortunes we forswore, now the future we foresee,
Where we weren’t aware, we’re now awake;
Those moments we missed
Are now these moments we make,
The moments we meet,
And our hearts, once all together beaten,
Now all together beat.

Come, look up with kindness yet,
For even solace can be sourced from sorrow.
We remember, not just for the sake of yesterday,
But to take on tomorrow.

We heed this old spirit,
In a new day’s lyric,
In our hearts, we hear it:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
Be bold, sang Time this year,
Be bold, sang Time,
For when you honor yesterday,
Tomorrow ye will find.
Know what we’ve fought
Need not be forgot nor for none.
It defines us, binds us as one,
Come over, join this day just begun.
For wherever we come together,
We will forever overcome.

Continue reading ...