Andreas Wijk just released one of the most powerful songs of the past year, thanks to its public delivery to his parents, in which he plays what is basically a coming-out song for them. For that bravery and courage alone (because it’s not always easy to come out, at any point in history) Andreas earns this Dazzler of the Day. Aiding in the dazzlement is his musical talent and body of work, and that song.
A couple of weeks ago we had a family dinner with the whole Ilagan gang, one that spanned 92 years from Dad to my godson Jaxon, and it was one of those moments when it was best to be entirely present and simply take all of it in, especially the antics of Jaxon Layne, which change and evolve every single day.
He’s teething now, which makes for an interesting rollercoaster of emotions and expressions, and Uncle Andy was there for every twist and turn.
Somewhere within the time these photos were taken, Jaxon tooted right on Andy, which I believe is the baby’s way of marking their territory. Andy was way more amused than I would have been, so everything happens for a reason.
Given his mischievous smile, I think Jaxon knew exactly what he was doing, and I can’t wait to see how he grows up. Every day brings something new and noteworthy, and as long as there are smiles and laughs interspersed throughout, and some sleeping time for Mommy and Daddy, Jaxon looks to be an adorable anchor for the family.
Dad lights up whenever Jaxon is around, and they are often on the same sleeping pattern, especially if there’s a full moon on the rise.
Noah and Emi are taking up lacrosse, growing up even faster than Jaxon, so we are just trying to follow along as best we can, with a sleepover in the near future should schedules align. In the meantime, these dinners with the newest Ilagan bring us all together, and any time I get to spend with this cute baby is time that soothes the soul.
As the full moon begins its April rise this week (a Pink Moon no less) we are going to need all the help and calming efforts we can muster. That means checking in with our friends and family, even if it’s just to say hello. You never truly know what another person is going through, and by the time stress and tension and problems outwardly show, who knows what damage has already occurred? Most people aren’t strong enough to show their vulnerable times of need, or ask for help when they require it. I understand such reticence, and so I reach out to people even, and especially, when I haven’t heard from them in a while.
That’s why I’m posting these cheerful Gerbera daisies – a little gift for you or anyone who needs a little boost, a little check-in, a little message that someone is thinking of you.
Author, illustrator, and multi-talented Renaissance creator Alex Testere wears many hats, and all of them quite well. His illustrated book ‘Please Grow: Lessons on Thriving for Plants (and People)” is a life-guide on growing plants and cultivating the soul, two topics more intertwined and connected than most of us realize. In his spare time he may be found knitting some spectacular garment, such as the gorgeous sweater seen below (I’m still angling to see if he might allow me to commission a knitted health vest for the summer season). When one’s career and lifestyle conspires to create its own work of art, the title of Dazzler of the Day doesn’t fully capture the magic at work, but if it helps share some of the joy, it’s worth it. Unsurprisingly, the ‘About’ bio from his website is as charming and captivating as his written work:
I’m an author and illustrator based in Woodstock, New York.
I lived in Brooklyn for almost a decade before my partner and I relocated upstate. Over the years I’ve worked as a blogger, a social sports organizer, a line cook, a cheesemonger, a magazine editor, and now, I get to spend my time doing my favorite things in the world: telling stories and making art.
In my down time, you’ll find my tending my menagerie of houseplants, knitting an intricate sweater, or sipping wine on a beach (if only in my dreams).
I’m currently about to publish my first book, “Please Grow: Lessons on Thriving For Plants (and People).” It’s an illustrated guide to self-care, creativity, and personal growth, rooted in the life cycle of plants. I hope you’ll check it out! I am also available for hire as an illustrator, writer, and consultant.
{Visit Alex Testere’s website here where you can order ‘Please Grow: Lessons on Thriving For Plants (and People)’ and see all the other fabulous stuff going on in his wonderful world.}
A fantastic opportunity for anyone looking to make a difference and do work that matters, the Edie Windsor, Marsha P. Johnson, and Sylvia Rivera LGBTQ+ Fellowship job posting just went up, so if you know anyone interested in a fellowship for the next two years, check out the official link here and read more about it below:
The New York State LGBTQ+ Fellowship was established to support the ongoing efforts in the Governor’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion to advance diversity, equity, and inclusion across New York State government. The LGBTQ+ Fellow is awarded every two years to an individual who has demonstrated a commitment to social justice, a track record of working on LGBTQ+ equality, civil rights, and diversity, equity, and inclusion issues, and a strong interest in a career in public service.
The Fellow will serve in the Office of Diversity and Inclusion and assist the Chief Diversity Officer in optimizing New York State agency diversity and inclusion goals, increasing BIPOC representation across New York State agencies, and continuing to build the State’s leadership as a model employer for New Yorkers of all gender identities and sexual orientations. In collaboration with internal and external stakeholders, the Fellow will also work to advance LGBTQ+ equity across New York State government, including providing policy and content expertise, project management, strategic communications, and legislative tracking.
The fellowship is named after LGBTQ+ leaders who have—with their courage, tenacity and perseverance—raised awareness of LGBTQ+ issues and made a lasting difference in advancing civil rights for some of the most marginalized within the LGBTQ+ community. The fellowship lasts for two years and is named in recognition of three New York leaders: Edie Windsor for her groundbreaking advocacy successfully challenging the federal defense of marriage act and Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera for their movement leading work against gender identity discrimination and advocacy for transgender inclusion within the larger LGBTQ+ movement.
The Fellow will have the opportunity to network across New York State agencies, with elected officials and industry partners and to participate as an Empire State Fellow in educational and professional development programs, including a week-long orientation session and biweekly evening classes that will help them to serve as an effective government leader and strengthen the network of LGBTQ+ policymakers and leaders in New York State working to advance diversity, equity, and inclusion.
The Fellow will serve from September 2023 to September 2025 and will earn a salary of $85,000 plus a generous benefits package.
Minimum Qualifications:
- Bachelor’s degree required – advanced degree preferred
- Five (5) or more years of full-time professional work experience
- Demonstrated leadership potential
- Availability to work in Albany, NY with significant travel across the state throughout the two-year program
Applicants who are members of groups underrepresented in policy-making roles in New York State government, which include but are not limited to Black, Hispanic, Asian and Pacific Islander persons; women; persons with disabilities; and gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender persons, are particularly encouraged to apply. Those currently employed in the legislative or executive branches of New York state government are not eligible to apply.
My friend Thomasa posted this the other day, and the words of Helena Bonham Carter rang beautifully true. I’ve long since believed everyone produced their own works of art, simply in going through life, and most of that beauty goes unacknowledged and unappreciated. We don’t give ourselves enough credit, and anything can be done with a certain element of artistic flavor. The perception is the key, and the intentional mindfulness of making every moment into a possible moment of art is always a noble effort.
“I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. Or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art.” ?
Anyone who knows their way around chocolate and plants as well as Oliver Holecek demands consideration and crowning as Dazzler of the Day. When further backed by the recommendation of an admired and respected friend with exquisite taste, it was a no-brainer. Oliver founded Primo Botanica, which currently offers various jewels of culinary conjurings culled completely from ethically-sourced entities, and available online here as Primo Chocolates. A brief perusal of the offerings reveals such fascinating gems as Ceremonial Drinking Chocolate, Lemon Poppyseed Fudge Eggs, Spicy Mayan Drinking Chocolate, Pistachio Marzipan M!lk Bars, and Mountain Cardamom chocolate bars. It’s the sort of stuff that tastes as good as you can feel about how it is sourced and produced. (Also check out this recent write-up of the “Heaps of Trash” art performance, which sounds like a fascinating amalgamation of art, food, and social commentary.)
A life-changing eggsperience happened Friday night, and I’m still reeling from the revelation. Typically, I love to surprise people, and I love to surprise myself. (The surprise party is a different animal entirely, but that’s another story for another post.) This weekend, I was completely floored, so scroll down and let’s recap the week as we move into April.
The return of spring, the return friends.
A patch of snow on the ground.
The saddest song for a rough week.
My niece and nephew turned into teenagers last week.
A letter to Noah on the occasion of his 13th birthday.
A letter to Emi on the occasion of her 13th birthday.
Another visit from the Jehovah’s witnesses, caught on camera.
After 20 years, the full-frontal money shot.
My mind was blown by an egg, as was 47 years of blissful eggnorance.
A gratuitous post with a naked Chris Meloni.
Dazzlers of the Day included Jessica Kirson and Alice Oseman.
Celebrating his birthday (#62 if you can imagine such fitness at such an age – I cannot, given my struggles at #47) Chris Meloni is a prime example of someone at their, well prime. This birthday-suited post from Matthew Rettenmund at BoyCulture reminded me of the sacred hotness of this date. Meloni has been featured here as Dazzler of the Day before, but it’s always nice to honor someone on their birthday. Check out his smoking-hot Peloton ad below where he works out in the nude because when you’re Chris Meloni you can work out naked and no one’s going to complain about anything.
Forty-seven years into this life it’s difficult to find any revelations that profoundly shift the make-up of the man I’ve become in all that time. Every once in a while, however, there comes a situation that does shift everything I thought I knew, and on Friday night that came from a discussion with Suzie about eggs. Apparently it makes me look like a complete and total ass (I’m paraphrasing Andy) but that sort of jolt is good for a perfectionist Virgo who up until a few years ago genuinely believed he could do little to no wrong. My how times have changed…
All my life, I’ve assumed that eggs just came in one basic size. I’d only half-noticed the large and extra-large and Grade A markings on the cartons, and to be honest I just thought those were marketing strategies, like ‘World’s Greatest Butter’ or ‘Extra-large pumpkins’. Whenever I saw a recipe that called for one large egg, I would simply open the fridge and look for the largest egg I could find and use that. It always worked.
Imagine my shock to find that ‘large’ and ‘extra-large’ were two very different and distinct egg sizes/weights, and there were more too, like ‘medium’ and ‘jumbo’. Perhaps you can’t imagine such a thing, because neither could Suzie. In fact, when the topic came up, there was a good five-minute period of wild confusion, as she was talking about ‘large’ eggs in the apparently traditional sense, while I was talking about large eggs as eggs that happened to be on the large size. Finally I blurted out, ‘What do YOU mean by jumbo eggs?’ and that’s when we realized my folly. Forty-seven years of thinking eggs came in one size came screeching to a stunned halt.
Immediately, I texted everyone I knew with the simple ask of “What is a large egg?” Some would rightfully wonder if I’d started drinking again. One told me to go to bed. Most didn’t understand the question, because all of them had learned, not sure where, that eggs were sized and labeled differently. Small consolation came on social media, where most people thought I was kidding, a few thought I was ridiculous, and just a smidge said they were on my side and always thought eggs came in one size too.
Suzie and I were trying to figure out how I could have baked so many things without incident (more or less) over the years, and I said in exasperation that I’d only ever seen a recipe call for large eggs. I’ve never seen one that used jumbo eggs or medium eggs – had I noticed that I might have made the connection. But unfailingly, all the recipes I’ve ever made required ‘large’ eggs. The reason it always worked, as we found out, is because Andy has only ever stocked the fridge with ‘large’ eggs. Another happy accident that avoided unhappy accidents.
Suzie and I drove along the rainy, dark roads in shocked and shook fashion, each trying to wrap our heads around things for different reasons. The next day I stopped in the market to confirm it, and there they were – all differently sized and labeled – medium and jumbo and extra large and small.
I’m still processing…
The April showers didn’t wait to arrive, as they took this first morning of April by full-frontal assault. These photos were taken a day or two ago, back when we remembered what the sun looked like. Today it is but a memory. Cue Betty Buckley.
I’m in a frisky, funny, cheeky, any mood today – woe to those looking for something earnest or heartfelt. This place is for the ferocious and cockfelt. Search the archives and ye shall find. Let’s race toothpicks to the sewer drain. Don’t let the clown get you.
Celebrating the 20th anniversary of this website, this seems as fitting a time as any to reveal the long-rumored full-frontal money shot at last. Certain visitors have been patiently awaiting this day with eager anticipation, at least they were several years ago ~ age and click-bait have tempered that fevered pitch, but there are still some who wouldn’t mind a peek at the twig and berries.
So stay with us, scroll down a bit, and revisit some fun links that follow – this will be the sort of day that becomes its own holiday of sorts…
This day has long been a fun one here, and there are always a few newcomers that get snagged and reluctantly admit their full-frontal folly.
Despite the click-bait of it all, there are still sights to be seen, and even a full-frontal tease (oh hi, Chris Evans) usually provide more eye-candy than typically gets posted here. Such as in this Zac Efron full-frontal piece.
Further teasing by David Beckham, Ben Cohen, and Nick Jonas. And more than a bit of Tom Daley too.
My very own sex scandal took place on this date in 2015.
A twist on the full-frontal shot, courtesy of ‘Sex’. There’s a certain satisfaction in a little bit of pain.
Happy April Fool’s Day everybody! You know I love ya.
Standing there in my beaver pajama pants (a gift from Suzie) and a ratty, hole-filled long-sleeved t-shirt with a faded palm tree on it, I greeted the two ladies as though I was expecting them. I’d seen the car drop them off across the street, but figured that after this interaction the Jehovah’s Witnesses had gotten the message that my household was supremely uninterested in joining their cult. Alas, that was not the case, as they made a beeline to our door.
“Hope you don’t mind, I’m going to take your picture!” I said a tad too cheerily, opening the door as they eyed me with bit of suspicion.
“Why?” the woman in back asked somewhat accusingly.
“Because you’re on my own property, and in plain public view.”
They laughed nervously and then produced the pamphlet I’d seen just a few days ago.
“Can I give you this and invite you…”
“You’re from the Jehovah’s Witnesses,” I interrupted. “Two other people came here last week saying the same thing and handing out the same brochure. I asked them what the Jehovah’s Witnesses said about gay marriage and they said you were against it.”
“Can I read you what the Bible says about that?” she asked, her smile not breaking.
“No thanks, I’d like you to put into your own words what your organization thinks.”
“Well the Bible says marriage is one man and one woman, and they should come together as one. Can I read you the passage?” she asked as she began to reach into her folder.
“No, I’m asking what you think about it, what your personal beliefs are about my marriage.”
“I believe what the Bible says…”
“So you don’t think my marriage is valid. I’ve been with my husband for over twenty years and you don’t think it’s valid?” Somehow I managed not to sound accusatory or antagonistic, though inside I was getting more irate as I stood there letting heat out of our home, and two people worked to silently condemn my life without saying any of it out loud.
“It’s not a judgment against you, I can’t decide that for you, I believe what it is in the Bible, which says that a man should be married to a woman,” she said, unwilling to go off script even when asked about her own take on it.
“The Bible doesn’t believe a man should marry a man,” the woman in back chimed in. “But we don’t judge anyone.”
“Have you read any of the Bible?” the first woman asked.
“Yes, when I was a child I read it,” I said.
“Did any of those teachings mean anything to you?’
“Absolutely. The notions that Jesus never judged anyone, and loved everyone as they were have stayed with me, and I still believe in that. What I don’t believe in is a literal reading of the Bible. It seems close-minded and, quite frankly, stupid, to think that a text remains literally relevant and that nothing has changed or evolved in 100, 200, 1000 years. I also don’t believe that was the intent of Jesus and his teachings.”
The woman in front persisted, “Can we ask if you would like to attend our event next week?”
“No,” I answered, my false smile entirely gone, but still wanting to be as humane and polite as possible. “Your beliefs go directly against mine, and your literal interpretation of the Bible will ultimately make it obsolete. If you want people today to continue believing in the Bible, then you should focus on how Jesus lived out his own life, and it wasn’t condemning or judging others.”
They thanked me and I told them to check out my website as I’d be writing about this encounter. Hey, they wanted me to visit their website. Do unto others…
PS – This is me in my birthday suit. In addition to wildly celebrating birthdays, I’m way beyond saving, so stop coming to the house.
The glories of spring blooming bulbs are striking and many, but there are drawbacks too which keep me wary. Even the hardiest and most stalwart among them – the Narcissus and pictured Muscari for example – last for a bit, but eventually die out instead of multiplying as they are supposed to do. I’m not sure why, as they are allowed to go brown and fortify the bulbs until the foliage dies away, and I feed them during the growing season and allow them rest in their dormancy. Whether it’s the critters (lots of underground work by chipmunks and squirrels and rabbits) or the soil, bulbs simply don’t do well in the long run in our yard, so I’ve tended not to grow them.
That doesn’t mean I don’t love seeing them in bloom everywhere else, especially in the first flush of potted and pampered specimens as seen here. The local markets and greenhouses are filled with spring bulbs now, taking pride of place and leading the Easter bunny brigade. It’s a happy end to winter, a promising start to the new season, and I am here for all of it.
We have arrived at the last day of March, and though it’s supposed to be departing like a lamb, the weather seems hell-bent on proving contrary. While antsy and anxious to get outside and start working on the yard and gardens, I bide my time in relative peace and quiet, choosing to focus on my daily meditation, and making use of some mindfulness cards that were a gift from a friend this past Christmas.
Many of the emotional maelstroms of my younger years could be attributed to things that simply fomented and simmered in my mind rather than anything that actually came to fruition. It’s taken many years to see how I was creating such tension and consternation, and I still occasionally fall into the trap of worrying about all the ‘what-ifs’ instead of focusing on what actually is. That’s where daily practice of mindfulness comes into usefulness. The repeated intentions of being present and mindful as a baseline and at-rest condition ideally do not allow much room for the imagined perils that may or likely may not come true, and once you access that frame of mind, it’s easier to keep the nagging worries at bay.
As we close out March and enter April in dreary and rainy form, I look to the beauty and peace and extra time to sit quietly indoors. There will be time enough for work and play in the days to come. Worrying over it now does no good, so let’s inhabit this moment together, in full awareness. What do you see around you? What do you find most beautiful in this specific moment? There is always something…
