“Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” ~ Auntie Mame

While I absolutely adore ‘Auntie Mame’, this quote from the movie had bothered and bugged me on my first few viewings, but I think it’s because I was reading and interpreting it incorrectly. Yes, it’s a great soundbite. It’s clipped and blunt and leaves no room for an easy-follow-up, but it always felt like it went against the anti-elitist theme that Mame so vibrantly espouses for much of the story, as in her refusal to let Patrick be stuffed into rigid social constructs, starting with her eschewing of the Bixby School for a more progressive establishment run by an Acacius Page. 

The reading I prefer to take from it is less a ‘let them eat cake‘ moment and more of a ‘let’s celebrate life’ mantra, which makes much more sense of the context of the ‘Live! Live! Live!’ scene in which it takes place. Mame’s own ‘Live and let live’ lifestyle finds acceptance and celebration of everyone regardless of race, religion, background, or social stratification. 

Such is the theme of the Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, which wound its way around the continental United States twenty years ago, and is finally finding its posting premiere here, for better and largely worse. Still, it’s a fun look-back when the world could be more concerned with such frivolous things because adults were mostly running the country. Now we must escape to those days for sheer emotional survival, clinging to memories of happier and more carefree times, which is one of the main points of the Divine Diva Tour anyway. It all comes together. 

This fun purple confection of a gown, the beaded headdress, and that saucy necklace comprised the opening outfit of ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale’ as we held a kick-off party in the summer of 2005. It remains one of my favorite looks from all the parties we’ve thrown over the years. 

This particular fairy’s tale is about to take a turn into the dreamier woodland forests of a traditional fairy tale, and those woods are filled with as much enchantment as danger – sometimes I think enchantment only finds full fruition when there is an element of risk to be overcome. There’s something sad in that too. 

For now, we sit before our mirrors and fringed lampshades, waiting to be laced up, hoping for this party to match the excitement and glamour we were promised in all those fairy tales growing up…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One 

One of the main tenets of the Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale was its essence of escapism, closely aligned with the unassailable and indefatigable notion of persevering and finding fabulousness in troubled times of seeming hopelessness. While that speaks directly to the tragically historical moment in which we now find ourselves, it’s also something my generation of gay men knows too unfortunately well, especially considering how we weathered the AIDS crisis in the 1980’s. 

There are boys just ripe for some kissin’
And I mean to kiss me a few!
Oh, those boys don’t know what they’re missin’
I’ve got a lot of livin’ to do!

Back then, beneath every layer of sparkle and pizzazz, there was an undercurrent of somber melancholy. Loss accompanied most of our revelries, and death was indelibly intertwined with sexual freedom and abandon. No place, and no one, was safe. Growing up under such a traumatizing umbrella takes a certain toll, and coming of age beneath the specter of those early days of the AIDS epidemic wreaked its own emotional havoc with my development.

And there’s wine all ready for tastin’
And there’s Cadillacs all shiny and new!
Got to move, ’cause time is a wasting
There’s such a lot of livin’ to do!

While our heterosexual counterparts had to concern themselves with pregnancies and STDs, gay men had to contend with the very real possibility that having unprotected sex with our partners of choice might result in our death. If I’ve been a prim and proper Victorian lady in the bedroom at times, it stems in good part from having to be so deliberately careful and cautious at a time when I should have been carefree and a little bit reckless.

What did we do?

We cried – for a country that allowed entire swatch of a vibrant community to die. 

We coped – as best as we could whenever it was sanctioned to condemn and hate us. 

We rallied – literally, physically, mentally, socially.

We fought – for basic rights, for equality, for the opportunity to simply exist without being threatened or attacked or killed.

We danced – when we lost everything, we always had the dance, even if it was just in our memory and minds.

And throughout it all, we did our best to live, sometimes just barely surviving, and sometimes not succeeding. 

There’s music to play, places to go, people to see!
Everything for you and me!
Life’s a ball, if only you know it!
And it’s all just waiting for you!
You’re alive, so go on and show it!
There’s such a lot of livin’ to do!

Whenever I have moments of doubt or uncertainty, when I wonder why I should even bother doing something, I think back to those scary days when AIDS was hovering over all of us, when it felt like all we had was each other. It puts all the silliness and frivolity of life into perspective – and I get a tantalizing glimpse of how ridiculous – and absolutely vital – every little bit of life can be. 

Such a lot of livin’ to do!
What a lot of livin’ to do!

{PS – All apologies for the Republican make-up job.}

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.