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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Why do we not hear of more sleepwalkers injuring themselves? If I attempted to walk anywhere with my eyes closed I wouldn’t get ten feet without bumping into something. Sleepwalkers, meanwhile, can navigate flights of stairs without so much as a single stubbed toe. How does this work?

#TinyThreads

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Start Planning, Start Saving

First of all, my 50th birthday is coming up this summer, so this is foremost a reminder to plan accordingly. Fifty don’t come cheap

Second, and perhaps more importantly (I said perhaps) next Friday marks a planned economic blackout to show the oligarchy so disturbingly in charge right now that we the people still have some say and some semblance of power (at least until it’s finally shredded in whatever monstrous Executive Order or Congressional action gets unleashed next – will Medicaid or Medicare be the first to go? FAFO, MAGA morons!)

On February 28, I encourage you to join me in not spending or ordering anything from any entity other than locally-owned-and-operated businesses for one day, which will double as a helpful lesson in saving, while sending a message, if enough of us join, that we are entirely fed up. It may take some planning and preparation, particularly if you’re like my husband and me, whose meal plans are usually created and purchased the day of – but it will be good to go without spending at Amazon or Target for a day, and perhaps longer. 

Do I have any idealized belief that this will result in anything concrete? Not at this point – one would be a fool to think that such things matter anymore, but it’s something we can all actively do. And maybe we will feel a little better about not having contributed to the richest people in power for one day. 

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A Candlelight Dinner

“We don’t ask a flower any special reason for its existence. We just look at it and are able to accept it as being something different for ourselves.” ~ Gwendolyn Brooks

The winter blues are best dispelled through strategic use of candlelight, flowers and an invitation to friends for an informal dinner party. Freshly-inspired by my very first viewing of ‘Babette’s Feast’ I am currently all about a fancy dinner – mostly just in the way of candlelight, because Andy will be crafting a simple Italian meal of basic staples for tonight’s festivities, and I’ve already indicated on the invitation that dress is entirely casual.

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” ~ Walter Hagen

We do have some crystal stemware that Andy had from before I ever knew him, which sparkles majestically in candlelight, and some small bouquets of pink anemone and purple freesia (all due apologies to Miranda Priestley for the latter) to brighten the winter evening. As with most dinner parties, atmosphere and cutlery and outfits are always less important than guest selection, and with Sherri, Skip, Maria and Kato, it’s already a happy success.

“I’d rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.” ~ Emma Goldman 

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

My technological deficiencies are such that I still haven’t figured out how to watch two television shows that are on the same time. Yes, it’s that bad – but also that good, because it’s kept me off of the television to be able to write a bunch of bullshit like this and bring it to all five of you.

#TinyThreads

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A Coat of Ice

Almost every casual conversation I’ve had this week – from co-workers in the elevator to the cashier at Trader Joe’s – has referenced the wear and tear of this particular winter. I think we are all feeling weary of it, and I don’t recall a stretch of such sustained frigid and icy weather in recent years without a bit of a break. The winter doldrums are here, and relief is a long way off. 

For my part, I’ve largely avoided dwelling on something over which we have no control, such as the weather, and the winter. Instead, I look to the sweet spots of beauty, even in the awfulness of a weekend-long ice storm. 

There is magic here, a wonderland that can only be conjured in the winter. For that we should be grateful. 

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A Dream Is A Wish My Head Makes

For the longest time – at least ten years – I’ve been putting a leopard tote bag on my birthday and Christmas wish lists, to no avail (see this one from 2012 and this one from 2019). I understand why – the specific ones I favored started at the $1500 price point, which is admittedly ridiculous for a bag. Well, gift-givers and patron saints of my 15th anniversary and 50th birthday – both coming up this year – here is a relative steal from the folks at Reformation, and it dovetails with this particular bag. 

Most of the versions I’ve found in the last ten years only offer bags with a front pattern and the back in black or something else, or mess it up with wonky gold hardware or chains. This beautiful piece is precisely what I’ve had in my dream mind, so it feels like the universe has finally aligned to make this happen. It’s available from Reformation here before it gets sold out. Just saying. Just wishing. Just hoping. Just deserving. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Darren Hayes

When you reach the zenith of musical entertainment in your 20’s, there’s an expected downward trajectory of all that follows, but rather than following the self-destructive trajectory of so many who came before, Darren Hayes has actually only grown more interesting and relevant to those of us who still care about such things are artistry and integrity and honesty. For that alone, he earns this Dazzler of the Day crowning. As the lead frontman for Savage Garden, Hayes crafted such unforgettable classics as ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’ and ‘I Want You’, marking the soundtrack for many of us in our twenties at the time. Taking us along for the behind-the-scenes turmoil and tumult of his life in the memoir boldly titled ‘Unlovable’, Hayes illustrates with words how he has carved out an existence that reveals how an artist endures, both in legacy and in how they live each day. Check out his website here, where you can order a copy of ‘Unlovable’. {Also check out the powerful voice he has become on Threads in a world where speaking out is increasingly in jeopardy.}

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In the Midst of Winter, A Desert Dawn

This wasn’t something I wanted to happen. While I love many of the Byredo fragrances, and have a few of my own, I find the majority are too light and don’t last long enough to justify their price points. (Exceptions of note: their glorious Night Veils collection.) When I was last in Boston, Chris and I were ambling about Newbury Street on a frigid day before our holiday gathering. The wind was whipping wildly, the temperatures were brutally low, and we went storefront by storefront to keep warm. One of these was what looked like a small Byredo pop-up, perhaps a holder for something more grand, or maybe just a holiday gift for passers-by like us. 

I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t need or really want another cologne at that moment – my signature holiday fragrance had already been chosen, and I was entirely enamored of it. But there was newest Byredo release – ‘Desert Dawn’ – and on such a cold day the idea of a warm desert was too tantalizing to  ignore. Spraying a bit on my wrist and coat sleeve, I brought it to my nose, hoping to hate it. No such luck – it was exquisite. The dryness of cedar and hints of sandalwood lent it a warmth that immediately spoke to me as the winter was then just beginning, while a small accent of cardamom gave it additional heat. A crisp note of vetiver gave it some effervescent and sparkle. Despite Byredo’s deserved reputation of not being the most lasting of fragrances, this one stayed with me even after our morning stroll ended, thus eliminating my last possible objection to such a gorgeous scent. 

By that time, my Christmas wish list had long been finalized, but I sent Andy a missive that if he was looking for a Valentine’s Day gift this would be most welcome, and as he usually does, he heard the plea and delivered like the sweet and generous soul he is. While I was planning on saving it for a trip to California or a warmer time close to summer, this actually works as an antidote to winter, so I’ve indulged and decided to make it happen now. With icy weekends bound indoors with Andy, I can’t think of a better memory to encapsulate with a fragrance

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Madonna’s Tucking Us In Again

When it comes to Madonna, late is better than never, so while the 30th anniversary of her ‘Bedtime Stories’ album actually passed last fall, she’s delivered a Valentine message promising a proper anniversary release with a bunch of unprecedented bonuses (which I’ll believe when I hear them). Skepticism notwithstanding, I’m hopeful about this one, as she hasn’t really promised such concrete deliverables in, well, possibly ever. And ‘Bedtime Stories’ is one of her rare, quiet, underrated releases that has proven itself over time with a solid and cohesive soundtrack from the 90’s, the melodies and haunting lyrics of which remain pertinent to this day. A track listing reminder of its brilliance:

  1. Survival
  2. Secret
  3. I’d Rather Be Your Lover
  4. Don’t Stop
  5. Inside of Me
  6. Human Nature
  7. Forbidden Love
  8. Love Tried to Welcome Me
  9. Sanctuary
  10. Bedtime Story
  11. Take A Bow

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Dazzler of the Day: Aaron Pierre

My favorite Dazzlers, apart from those I know and adore in real life, are those requested/recommended by trusted friends, which is why crowning Aaron Pierre as Dazzler of the Day is such a thrill. This was a request from my dear friend Ann, who helped shape my taste in our high school and college years – clearly she still has it, as Pierre joins the vaunted firmament of those actors whose talent matches their beauty. She came to his brilliance thanks to her love of ‘The Lion King’ (which somehow hilariously escaped me all these years – apparently she’s been a huge fan since the first movie came out – who knew?) Pierre voices the title character of ‘Mufasa: The Lion King’, adding to an already-impressive resume that includes ‘Old’ and ‘Rebel Ridge’, along with the miniseries ‘The Underground Railroad’ and ‘Krypton’. 

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Porn Free

First of all, if you think the site is porn, thank you!

Second, if you really think this website is pornographic, your definition of porn is such that we will likely not be aligned in a lot of our views. To me, porn is the depiction of a sexual act – not nudity or nakedness, full frontal or not. The more literal definition, in most legal citations, is “material that depicts nudity or sexual acts for the purpose of sexual stimulation.” 

That’s never been my purpose here. Not that I am blind to the varying responses to the scantily-clad men that get posted here, but the purpose – the intent – is not to turn anyone on. 

“I am not trying to seduce you. Would you like me to seduce you?

From what I’ve experienced and seen online, too many people confuse the naked human form for pornography, and that view and attitude just isn’t something I agree with or understand. The human body shorn of its clothing is a beautiful thing, and to shame us into feeling embarrassed or shy about our natural state is one of the most damaging things society has done to ourselves. 

So if you find this in any way pornographic, that’s entirely your prerogative, but if that is in fact what you think, what exactly are you doing here? 

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A Single Candle Fells Winter

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” ~ Edith Wharton

I read somewhere that there were only thirty more days until spring. Though I trust nothing I read online anymore, I didn’t bother to do the math because it doesn’t much matter. Spring will arrive when she arrives, whether by date or by weather, and there’s not much more we can do about it

Due to the difficult weather we have had, I’ve spent the entirety of the long weekend inside our home, watching and listening to the raging winds and the clattering of branches and ice against the roof and windows. When I saw ‘Babette’s Feast’ listed on the TCM schedule, I asked Suzie if I should watch it, as it was one of her favorites from childhood. She said yes, so I lit a candle and hoped for the best.

I wasn’t expecting the subtitles, or something entitled ‘Babette’s Feast’ to be anything other than porn, but in both instances I was pleasantly surprised, and our next goal for winter will be Suzie hosting a dinner inspired by this quaint movie. We shall call it ‘Suzette’s Feast’ and instead of quail we’ll have Cornish game hens. Oh, who am I kidding – we’ll have everyone over and throw some chicken tenders on a paper plate. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Theresa Nellis

My favorite Dazzlers are those people whom I have actually met and known for years – see Suzie Ko, Karel Barnoski, Susan Brumley, Joseph AbramoWoody Woodbeck, and of course Andy VanWagenen. That’s why crowning Theresa Nellis as Dazzler of the Day gives me such great joy. As the author of the ‘School for the Magically Insane’ and ‘Keeper of the Mirror’ series, Nellis has carved out a literary name for herself, but I remember her as a sweet and quiet classmate as we navigated the grade school journey of R.J. McNulty elementary school. Reconnecting with classmates from our youth is a reassuring way of grounding ourselves with a shared past – a reminder that we did come from somewhere, that it was real, and that good people can remain as good as we remember them. Her latest installment of the ‘School for the Magically Insane’ series – ‘The Witch’s Gowan’ – is out today – and be sure to visit her website here for more written enchantment

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Snow Moon Enchantment

The almost-full Snow Moon cast its lovely light over an aptly-snow-covered earth, calling to me to step out into the cold air and brave the discomfort for this brilliance. In only a few minutes, I was chilled and shuddering, but the moon often does that, forcing us into situations and circumstances and bad ideas we never would have entertained at any other time. Its seduction is dangerous, and one follows its madness with an acknowledged risk of ruin. On this night, it was nothing nearly as dramatic as all that, merely the pesky trials of a brisk chill to capture a few peeks of the moon shyly drifting among the winter clouds and trees. 

Winter moons hold their own magic, and though their light is merely a reflection, it feels no less illuminating for that. There’s something more poignant about it – as though it’s giving up everything for the rest of us, even the stuff it doesn’t even have to give. Of course there’s another way of looking at it: who gives away something they have only borrowed? 

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A Super Bowl Recap

The Super Bowl happened more than a week go, but this is my Super Bowl – a bowl of Wedgwood from my Mom’s collection. It provides solace in any dark time, with memories of my childhood home glowing in my heart with all the happenings of our formal living room – birthdays, Christmas mornings, graduations, and visits from family and friends. Escaping into those happier times is a necessary component of current days, and looking back is sometimes a comfort. Along those lines, here’s our weekly recap

More than cocks and flowers… slightly. 

An unexpected stiffy first thing in the morning

A crotchety old man am I.

A Divine Diva’s schedule is set in sparkles. 

Visitor for the full Snow Moon.

Abracadabra: return of the Lady

The architecture of ice

A Valentine’s Day blog post!

Snow still lives

A purple-hued interlude.

Style & panache!

I just wanna dance!

A crisp style

Let me entertain you

Magnificent muted wonder

Dazzlers of the Day included Jalen Hurts, Saquon BarkleyPete Davidson and Patrick Schwarzenegger

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