Alan Ilagan | Page 88

02
June
2023

Tags: Family

The Unforgettable Christening of Jaxon Layne

Any godchild of mine is preordained to cause a commotion at any given church ceremony, and as a former altar boy who was subjected to the rigors of a strict Catholic upbringing, I’m all for conjuring an unforgettable religious experience.

It was a beautiful day near the end of May on which our family had Jaxon baptized, with a strong show of sunshine, warm temperatures, and the promise of summer in the air. By all estimations he behaved remarkably well – didn’t cry at all when the water and oil went all over his head. The deacon’s behavior was another story altogether, but that’s a tale for another time, maybe when Jaxon gets confirmed, and it made for the unforgettable aspect of the day.

More than anything else, it felt like this day was a chance for Jaxon to be given his first choice at a spiritual path, offering the tenets of a Christian faith should he one day decide to keep to that road. It was a celebration of joy, and an opportunity for both sides of his family to come together. To that end, it was a resounding and happy success.

Andy expressed consternation at what I might choose to wear to the ceremony, even I understood that this was Jaxon’s day to shine, so I went with a basic linen ensemble for a summer baby, a traditional Barong Tagalog shirt worn at formal Filipino occasions, and a necklace that formed the only bit of ostentatious bling to remind Jaxon that I was still me under all the understated elegance. He’s already bringing out the best in all of us.

01
June
2023

Tags: Boston, General

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A Summer Season Starts Early ~ Part 2

Late on an almost- summer night, this video played in the bedroom of our Boston condo. The air conditioner hummed in the window, the room was dark except for some light from the bathroom, and there may even have been a fan circulating providing additional air movement. The video evokes a childhood memory of summer camp, of two kids sneaking out past curfew to play in the lake, and the sweet melody and sentiment were primed for summer. On the bed, I kicked off the sheets and tried to stay cool.

That summer I spent a great deal of time in Boston, working at Structure and roaming the city streets when the sun went down and things turned slightly cooler. Not quite old enough to drink liquor, there were no bar scenes or cocktail corners to frequent, and so I spent much of the nights simply walking and peering into places that felt alive, spurred on by some unseen impetus to roam and find something – anything – to help me discover my place in life. This sweet song, a rather innocent ode to romance, did what it was supposed to do and made me feel like the perfect match was just around the corner, or somewhere in my past, just waiting to be reunited in some Hallmark kismet moment. Obviously, that wasn’t how things played out, and as I clicked off the television and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water, I didn’t feel any closer to finding someone. Looking out onto the street, I raised the window for a moment, feeling the wall of heat and listening to the trickling of the fountain outside.

Retail work provided daytime distractions and when I returned home at the end of each day, there were hours of daylight left with which to occupy and entertain myself. I’d taken up jogging around the South End, as much to get out and feel participatory as to stay in shape. I’d pass the neighbors on their brownstone steps, with their fancy plates and dinners and glasses of wine, enjoying the privilege of eating outside in an act that would have been unthinkable in the ice and snow of a mere three months prior. How drastically the New England world can change in just a short time, I thought.

Whizzing through the crowded sidewalks of Tremont Street on a pretty summer evening, I averted any gazes as much as I internally invited them. If I thought I could meet anyone while running quickly by them, it was a testament to my own self-fulfilling failure in finding someone. Clearly I was not ready for any such thing, despite the simplicity this song so deceptively dangled as a possibility.

I spent a few more weeks in Boston, before retreating to my parents’ home with central air and a swimming pool, and even fewer romantic prospects. The heat continued, along with the longing, and it was the latter that would refuse to diminish even with the arrival of fall.

01
June
2023

Tags: General

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A Summer Season Starts Early ~ Part 1

Summer is usually the time for a sun-drenched entrance of bombast and glee, a reflection of the sunny season at last at hand and a celebratory marker of a stretch of ease. That is still the case here, but I’m tempering this early/late beginning with a quieter start, leaving room for build-up and excess later on if we’re still up for it.

The summer season unofficially began last weekend when the Memorial Day holiday opened things up. We would normally have spent that weekend in Ogunquit, but our favored place was booked so we opted to wait a bit. We always missed the opening of the peonies that weekend anyway, so it was nice to be home for such a happy event. Now we can kick-off summer on the blog on this first day of June, extending the season beyond the summer solstice because we need it now. September comes too soon…

The song for this summer post is an old-school Mariah Carey tune, given an intentionally slowed-down twist to ease into things. (Come back for Part 2 and the classic version a bit later.) Some summers begin slowly, requiring room to grow and evolve. We all want sun and beach and sand and warmth instantly, without realizing the joys and charms of these early days. Cool mornings and nights will be the stuff of dreams once the first stretch of heat hits – no need to rush into all of that just yet. A proper summer employs a bit of laziness, some seductive hesitation and holding back. It pauses and waits, unfurling its splendor only when it’s absolutely ready to shine.

This summer will cast its spell both by our pool in upstate NY and in Boston where our BroSox Adventure and a possible Madonna concert (assuming she shows up) are scheduled to take place – between the two there are differing atmospheres, each striking in its own way. Summer in the suburbs is calm and tranquil and easy – lounging by the pool, languidly strolling through the yard, and watering the gardens are how that usually goes. Summer in the city is usually more dramatic and extreme – finding air-conditioned respite in retail, delicately walking through shady nooks and secret gardens in the South End, and drinking endless mocktails in shadowy, cool lounges.

31
May
2023

Tags: Dazzler of the Day, Music

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Dazzler of the Day: Kylie Monogue

Just when I thought we might not have an unofficial Pride Anthem this year, Kylie Minogue comes along to snatch the Queen of the Gays title back from whomever had it last with her new bop ‘Padam Padam’ from her upcoming album ‘Tension’. For that alone she would earn this Dazzler of the Day, but Minogue has a long history of gay anthems in her pocket to back it all up further. I’m old enough to remember her first storming of the US charts with a remake of ‘Locomotion’ back in the 1980’s and since then she’s been a favorite of my community. Check out the new song and video below.

31
May
2023

Tags: Gardening

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Peony Explosion

This has been a good year for our peonies. A couple of years ago I revamped the decades-old clumps in front of our home, which was much more difficult than I realized. As impressed as I was by the size and depth of their roots, I also understand that would mean some difficult digging. It was a two-day affair, undertaken in late summer, to get them back in with newly amended soil and divided portions to gain some traction before that fall. It took a couple of years, and now they are back just as big and floriferous as before. In fact, they could probably stand another division in the near future, but that will not be my near future, as that is one task which would prove too much for this season. Besides, they are beautiful as they are, and this is a year of appreciation.

30
May
2023

Tags: Dazzler of the Day, Shirtless Male Celebrities, Sports

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Dazzler of the Day: Cristiano Ronaldo

One of the greatest football (soccer) players in history, Cristiano Ronaldo has turned all that talent into a lucrative career of products and endorsements ranging from underwear to cologne (two of my favorite things), all of which can be seen on his website here. More powerful is the legacy of his athletic accomplishments, which is reason alone for this Dazzler of the Day.

Ronaldo has been featured in numerous posts here previously, perhaps best encapsulated in this linkalicious post.

30
May
2023

Tags: General

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Stars in Dappled Sunlight

Peaceful pockets of beauty and light are what I seek out when the heat of summer approaches. This sort of green freshness is prevalent right now, making the days a joy to experience as they unfurl. Dappled sunlight on the four-pointed stars of the Chinese dogwood merge celestial bodies as light and structure shifts. As shadows play before and behind green leaves, this is a peek into peace, into tranquility. It demands a stillness – a pause in the fast pace of a late-spring day. It’s all moving so quickly now – seedlings emerging in the span of a few hours of heat and sunshine, and other plants wilting before the sun moves completely across the sky – I do what I can to inhabit the moment.

29
May
2023

Tags: General

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A Peony-Fueled Recap

Our glorious month of May rushes toward its climactic conclusion as the garden explodes with some of our favorite flowers, such as these peonies. As I write this, the spicy scent of our single tree peony bloom – cut before it flopped to the ground – is wafting my way from its pride-of-place on the dining room table. These are the days… on with the weekly recap:

It began with apple blossoms in the air.

A ghost called up from the pavement.

It was the 90’s, don’t blame me for this ensemble, or hair.

The beauty of a bundt.

Double the bunny power.

This is not ok.

Beautiful, damned and back in vogue.

A letter to my godson on the occasion of his christening.

Lunch at the War Room Tavern in downtown Albany.

A pampered life produced a pretty peony for the present moment.

Spread the word, amplify the message, and buy these books.

Dazzlers of the Day included Alan Cumming, Arielle Jacobs, Jose Llana, Justin Rose, Halle Bailey, Bryan Batt and Erik Bottcher.

28
May
2023

Tags: Literature

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Buy These Books

While the Republican Party officially aligns with those who choose to attack ‘woke’ culture (i.e. being a moral and decent human being) certain racist and homophobic parents are working to ban books. Why would anyone want to ban a book that celebrates Americans is always going to be a mystery to me, but hateful people have never made much sense. In some small push against that, here are two books that you should definitely read as they are not only studies in exceptional Americans, they are also the work of amazing writers and stand-out citizens. If you’re against that, and if you want to ban or stifle such messages in any way, you are definitely the problem. If you don’t agree with them, that is absolutely your prerogative – it’s when you want to prevent the rest of from accessing and reading them that you become hateful.

First up is Amanda Gorman’s ‘Call Us What We Carry’ – a collection of poems that contains ‘The Hill We Climb’, which is what she read at the Inauguration Ceremony for the 46th President of the United States. Just days after the January 6 insurrection, her words brought our country back together, healing and lending comfort to the resilience that is America. Find more of her work at her website here.

The second book that is a must-read for the summer (and beyond) is Chasten Buttigieg’s ‘I Have Something To Tell You’ which was recently re-released in a Young Adult edition. How I wish something like this had been available when I was growing up. It wasn’t – and all the feelings I had made me feel like something was wrong, like I didn’t belong anywhere, like there was no one else like me. It was a feeling of isolation, and the world was once designed to make me feel like that. We have made some progress, and books like this remind me of how far we have come. Find links both versions of the book on his website here.

28
May
2023

Tags: Dazzler of the Day, LGBTQ+

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Dazzler of the Day: Erik Bottcher

“I sometimes think if I wasn’t born as a gay person in a rural area, if I wasn’t a survivor of suicide attempts, if I would be in the role that I’m in and I actually don’t think I would be, I think maybe I’d be… running my Dad’s fly fishing shop with two kids in the Adirondacks, but I think that going through these experiences is what drew me into a life of wanting to make a big difference while I’m on this planet and feeling the urgency… I’ve always felt an urgency to do a lot while I’m here and maybe just being a survivor of suicide, I always felt that life is going to go by very quickly and what am I going to do while I’m here and so I picked what I think is one of the best paths to make the biggest impact while we’re here. Because life goes by like that, it really does if you think about it, and no one ever says at a memorial service ‘He took the best vacations’ or ‘He had the best cars and the best clothes’ ~ No, it’s ‘This is what he did, these are people he touched, these are the people he helped.'” ~ Erik Bottcher

New York City Council Member Erik Bottcher, of District 3, is one of those wonderful people who is so rarely seen in photos on his own that finding the ones here took several tries perusing an endless parade of people on Bottcher’s FaceBook feed – a testament to his authentic care and concern for his fellow citizens. The opening salvo of this post comes from Bottcher himself, and the refreshingly open and honest revelations of experiences that many of us have dealt with and never talked about is what sets him apart from his political cohorts. It also drives him to make a difference while he’s here, and there’s something noble and poignant of someone who can be so authentically and powerfully himself. It sends a badly-needed message to those of us who need to hear we are not alone, that there is a place for us in the world if we want to make one, that every single one of us matters. For that heroic mission, taken one step, one district, one election at a time, Bottcher earns this Dazzler of the Day.

{Check out his Council Member page here, and his social media link tree here.}

28
May
2023

Tags: Flowers, Gardening

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A Pampered Life Produces a Pretty Peony

Last year I added two gorgeous specimens of the Itoh Peony to our little front garden. These are beautiful plants, and I wanted to give them the best start possible, as well as prime them for future years of bloom, so they got a full summer of pampering, and important placement in the front yard. When dealing with a plant that can live for a century, the location is one of the most decisions the planter will make. From there, it was all about creating a hospitable environment.

It began with the soil – amended heavily with manure – dug deep and wide for each hole. Once I got them nestled into their new homes, I mulched them well and watered them in. As summer heated up, the watering was essential, and a key element to getting them successfully established. It’s usually better to water deeply rather than watering lightly and more frequently; it encourages the roots to drive deep into the moist earth.

When they were planted, they were pretty much at their full size, which sometimes makes watering feel unproductive. That’s when it matters most though, and beneath the ground, the work was happening.

While the flowers deservedly get most of the glory and accolades, the foliage is not to be overlooked. It’s handsome, with delicate veining, and, depending on the light, it looks sometimes like the glossier leaves of the herbaceous peony and other times like the grayish, matte-like magic of the tree peony. Even better is the fact that these leaves, despite our uncomfortably humid summers, shirk off the powdery mildew that always manifests upon the old-fashioned herbaceous cousins just a few feet away.

The magnificence of these plants is why I keep coming back to gardening – to witness their form and effect in the garden, the peace and tranquility such beauty brings – and the journey and work it takes to bring them to such a state.

27
May
2023

Tags: Dazzler of the Day

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Dazzler of the Day: Bryan Batt

During the ‘Sunset Boulevard’ musical obsession that dominated my life in the mid 1990’s, one of the shows that I attended had the stalwart Alan Campbell (another Alan who spells his name correctly) out and his understudy in – and that was the night I became fully aware of Bryan Batt and his brilliance. He took the role of Joe Gillis and made it his own – not an easy feat given how accustomed many of us had become to Mr. Campbell. Batt matched the ferocious but fragile performance of his leading lady Betty Buckley to create an evening of musical theater magic.

A few years later, I was at a Sunday brunch in the South End of Boston and noticed Batt at a nearby table; to my regret and shame, I was too shy and socially anxious to approach him and offer my accolades on that ‘Sunset’ performance, so all these years later this is my small way of making up for that.

He’s carved out an impressive theatrical resume – highlights of which include the aforementioned ‘Sunset’ run, a scene-chomping turn in ‘Jeffrey’, a suave, smarmy, and poignantly nuanced role on ‘Mad Men‘ (a role which should have gone on for far longer than it did), and several other Broadway behemoths such as ‘Cats’, ‘Starlight Express’, ‘Beauty and the Beast’, ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel‘, and ‘Saturday Night Fever’. A true Renaissance man who dabbles in all forms of beauty and art, Batt and his husband own a home furnishings and gift store, Hazelnut, that is on my bucket list to visit in New Orleans. He’s also written two books, ‘She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Mother: A Memoir’ and ‘Big Easy Style’. Taken together, it’s more than an honor to name him as Dazzler of the Day.

27
May
2023

Tags: Albany, Food

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Going to War For Lunch

Quiet Fridays in downtown Albany are a secret, almost-enjoyable, aspect of summer that I’m hoping to keep mostly to myself, so don’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. My preferred method of working at the office involves as few people as possible, as quiet and peaceful an atmosphere as possible, and the least bit of trouble and interaction as possible. It makes sense then that one of my favorite days to work is the day after Thanksgiving, when almost no one else is at the office, and I can catch up on things that have evaded me for the previous eleven months.

On a smaller scale, Fridays in summer afford the same absence of people and activity in downtown Albany, and we had a peek of that yesterday, when a delightfully sunny and perfectly 71-degree day afforded me an opportunity to walk up the hill (State Street) and try out the Albany War Room Tavern for the first time. Renowned Executive Chef Yasuo Saso makes a welcome return to the Albany restaurant scene, and was the main draw for my lunch-time journey.

From their social media pages alone, my mouth has been watering whenever I happen upon a post featuring some gorgeous sushi or steak creation, and after hoofing it up State Street I was hungry and ready. “Peace, Love & Sushi” glowed in neon writing above the sushi station, while Chef Saso could be heard methodically chopping up all the delicious goodness that was in my immediate future. The sound had a calming effect – something soothing and consistent in the midst of what can often be a hot and harried downtown Albany scene.

Framed memorabilia of political and historical figures reminded of all that has gone down in this 1890’s brownstone building, but, warring political factions aside, the lunchtime vibe was calm and cool, and the two rolls I ordered – an Authentic Spicy Crab roll and a Spicy Devil roll of tuna and caviar – made for a light yet filling lunch. I would have gone for a third, but I’d have had to roll down the hill to get back to work. Two were just enough for lunch; we’ll be back for a full dinner soon to try out more indulgences. For now, this was the perfect entry into what may become a Friday afternoon summer tradition.

{The Albany War Room Tavern is located at 42 Eagle Street – check out their website here.}

27
May
2023

Tags: Family

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A Letter to My Godson On the Occasion of His Christening

Dear Jaxon –

It is reportedly the duty of a Catholic godparent to provide spiritual guidance in helping to bring up their godchild in the Catholic faith, and though this tidbit of information came to me long after I accepted the wonderful offer to be your godfather, it is not something I am taking lightly. To that end, I am gifting you a silver rosary (silver being the color associated with your birthday and sun sign) which our friend Doreen is having blessed by our local priest. I also come equipped with enough Catholic knowledge to make your head nod and fall back asleep, having been an altar boy for far too many years than most, and I’ve received the sacraments of Holy Eucharist and Confirmation, so technically we’re good.

As for the rest of it, we will have to make that spiritual journey together. When you grow up, you may wonder at the state of the world around you. We will keep you shielded from the awfulness for as long as possible, because if you have a good, solid start, you’ll be better adept at dealing with the disappointments later on. As you grow up, you may question how God would let terrible things happen to good people, and you may doubt whether faith is enough to sustain a person. I will never lie to you, so I have to let you know that I still grapple with such questions, and I honestly don’t think there is one true set of answers.

What I do know is that one’s spiritual soul is nourished and fed by those around them. To that end, you are already blessed. True, we are a flawed bunch of characters – your Godfather alone carries enough foibles and faults to trip everyone up from time to time – but our intent and love is always true, always noble. You are loved beyond what we can ever completely express, and there is God or religion or spirituality in that, as there is in all the good and beautiful things you will encounter on earth. Your journey is just beginning, and there is hope in that – the kind of hope that makes the most jaded among us believe in something.

And so my little godson, as you begin to make your spiritual journey, surrounded and emboldened by those who love and adore you, remember that you are supported by not only your parents, but by all of us. You will come to form your own belief system, and whether that’s faith or religion or the memory of a mother’s embrace, it’s all the same magnificent stuff, cut from the same sacred cloth of love.

26
May
2023

Tags: Dazzler of the Day

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Dazzler of the Day: Halle Bailey

Today marks the opening of the much-anticipated and discussed live-action remake of Disney’s 1989 animated classic ‘The Little Mermaid’. Like every good gay boy of a certain age, I dutifully listened to the soundtrack inside and out during the years following its release, perfecting every number from the wondrously wistful ‘Part of Your World’ (and its hair-flipping reprise) to the sinister machinations of ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’. Riding the crest of the new movie is Halle Bailey, whose voice soars as expected – Bailey earns this Dazzler of the Day for that alone, but she’s got a few Grammys in her pocket in case anyone needed reminding.