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When Iris Eyes Are Smiling

Up until this year, the snowiest winter in Boston history was 1995-1996. I was living there during that dismal winter, and it was trying to say the least. I think most of the snow that year came in March, with a few bad storms even coming in April. I still remember one of the last storms that came ~ it started snowing when I was leaving campus and heading into the city, and as it started to come down heavier and heavier I almost started crying right there. It was just too much.

At the end of my wit and sanity, I sought out an outlet where I’d find some hint of spring, some desperate grab at salvation in the midst of dirty snow and winter depression. I found it at the New England Flower Show. Back then it was held in some cavernous convention center on the Red Line (which was also in relatively consistent service that year). I woke up early on a Saturday and made my way through the cold into the flower show, and from the moment I entered and saw the bright sunny blossoms of a pot of narcissus, my heart felt instantly at ease.

The scent of flowers and earth ~ the smell of life and warmth ~ immediately calmed the restless winter in my heart. Great swaths of muscari and tulips and iris colored the winding paths, while arching birch branches shaded certain nooks. Near the entrance was an enclosed circular garden room, where a kentia palm elegantly arched over a sumptuous reading chair, and ferns swayed gently in the lightest breezes produced by hurried passers-by. I took my time walking through the displays, pausing to inhale the various scents, examining the scenes both as a whole, and by each individual strand of moss or blade of grass. The sight of all the greenery had a way of healing the hurt of that long winter.

We do what we have to do to survive.

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Where Academia & Pop Art Collide: Special Guest Blog

{Had history and biology played out differently, I might be in Dr. Joseph Abramo’s position right now. He’s married to my first girlfriend. Yeah, that could have been me. For his wife’s sake, and his I guess, it’s better that it never worked out. Joe has become one of my rare, and therefore treasured, straight guy friends. I still remember the first night I met him: I welcomed him to my attic with typical theatricality, and I’m not sure he knew what to make of it all. Through the years though, he’s become a friend in his own right, and he’s one of the few people who can appreciate Mahler as much as Madonna. (Don’t even get him started on a treatise of ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears because he can go deep.) He’s also one of the only people on earth to get me to sing along with him (I croaked out a few bars of ‘Like A Prayer‘ as he strummed the guitar.) We also worked on some artistic creation as well, in the form of a few Halloween songs that were more of an excuse to hang out with people I love than any real hope at Billboard glory. When I first contemplated the notion of a Guest Blog, his was one of the first names that came to mind because I knew it would be interesting, intellectual, and just a little bad-ass. It does not disappoint.}

The Crux of Academia & Pop Culture

By Dr. Joseph Abramo

It is a pleasure to write a guest blog for Alan’s website. I’ve been an admirer of his musings, photography, and writings ever since my wife and his childhood friend, Melissa, introduced us. One of our first in-depth conversations was about Madonna. This makes sense because, for a day job, I am a professor, where I teach courses in music and education. I work with twenty-somethings who want to be music teachers.

The professorship is not as glamorous as one might think. We are not the bespectacled, elbow-patch-wearing ilk the general population imagines us to be. In fact, we usually dress more informally than other professions, something I’m sure Alan would be horrified by.

As part of that informality many of us often study topics that some people may be surprised by. One of my topics of study, for example, is how music teachers can incorporate popular music into the classroom. If you were one of the many adults who think back to music lessons as the banging out of awful classical music on the piano, or inducing headaches by blowing air into the oboe, as Alan did, then you can imagine the need for music teachers to have the discussion about using music that is a little more relevant to students. The truth is that the classical music that I and most music teachers love is simply not interesting to most people.

But popular music is incredibly interesting to many people, and for good reason. It allows us to escape repeatedly into our own worlds. My mother tells me that when she was a teenager, she listened to her recording of Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘Sound of Silence’ so many times that the record turned grey because she wore the grooves out. For me it was hearing ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ by Nirvana, and buying an electric guitar to learn how to play the song. The repetition irritated her, but she endured it thinking back to her similar relationship with Simon and Garfunkel. For Alan, it is his indefatigable love for Madonna, which he chronicles on this blog.

But our love for popular music is not just frivolous indulgence. It is not simply, as Dick Clark blandly said, “the soundtrack to our lives.” It tells us something about ourselves and about the important issues of the day. Beyonce’s sudden use of feminism, for example, tells us about contemporary womanhood. In many ways it has shown how feminism, once reviled as radical, has become as bland as singing about wanting to “rock and roll all night and party everyday.” This is both a blessing and a curse for feminists. It shows the inroads feminists have made in helping everyone understand issues of equality. But this mainstreaming of feminism might also water down and misrepresent its message. Some, for example, interpret Beyonce dancing on a stripper pole in front of the giant word feminism as a misunderstanding and dismantling of feminism through this popularization. Others see it as an important demonstration of contemporary feminism – that “women can have it all.” Which is it? Probably both and neither; it is a double-edged sword.

Reactions to popular music also tell us about society, too. Former Arkansas Governor and Fox News Channel host, and presumed 2016 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee’s critique of Beyonce as imposing liberal urbanites (read as ‘Black’) values upon the humble conservative middle Americans (read as ‘White’) demonstrates that not everyone embraces equality.

Similarly, recording artist Hozier’s video ‘Take Me to Church’ suggests progress for Gay rights and marriage equality. The song’s lyrics are about heterosexual love; a man sings about a lover, using the pronoun ‘she.’ But the video depicts images of queer love. This mixing of queer and hetero love blurs them, erodes the indefensible distinction that society has made between them and puts them on an equal plane. The fact that such a video was inconceivable twenty years, but passed with little comment today, shows real progress in gay rights and marriage equality. But predictably, like Huckabee’s reaction to Beyonce, some decry the mainstreaming of queer culture as an indication of the decay of ‘good ol’ American values,’ and perform rational, ethical, and legal gymnastics to fight equality and restrict freedoms.

It is because of this “academic” aspect of popular music, along with its ability for us to escape into ourselves that I love popular music, and why I think it has educational value. The cultural theorist Stuart Hall said that he studied popular culture because it is “one of those sites where this struggle for and against culture of the powerful is engaged: it is also the stake to be won or lost in that struggle. That’s why popular culture matters.” Popular music serves as a mirror to ourselves, it tells us about our desires and pleasures. It is a barometer: the ways people react to popular music gives us a reading of where society currently sits on important issues. Use any other metaphor you want to describe its ability to clearly reveal to us the state of society. For Hall, this is the power of popular culture. “Otherwise, to tell you the truth,” he continues, “I don’t give a damn about it.”

So next time you listen to your favorite artist, take some time to ask, “What does this say about society?” Does it articulate my values? Are those who are quick to devalue the music I love creating a veiled critique of me and my values? Or maybe you don’t ask these questions; maybe you just listen and escape into yourself. Either way, to tell you the truth, I don’t give a damn.

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Join The Company (Yes, You!)

As a candelabra once sang, “Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest!” The Special Guest Blog feature that was implemented earlier this year has quickly become one of my favorite things about this blog. Part of it is due to the fact that I get a brief break in posting duties (I’m not getting paid for this, people) but mostly it’s because I get to inject a new perspective and a new voice into a blog that’s been saddled solely with my hubris for the past twelve years. (Yes, this website has been around since 2003. Do the math. I’m a dinosaur as far as personal (and most professional) websites go.)

Thus far we’ve heard from a doting father (and straight ally), my lifelong sister-figure, a pussy cat, an acerbic cook, and the woman who once funked out to ‘Freeway of Love’ with me in Rochester, NY. Tomorrow, we get a dose of academia and high-brow musical theory as my friend Dr. Abramo makes his debut here. What I’m looking for next is something to expand the voices heard in this space, which means going beyond my close circle of friends. (We’re reaching the limits of said circle, as it’s never been very big.) I’d like to open it up as a forum for anyone who has something to say – no matter how frivolous or superficial, no matter how probing and deep, no matter how unlikely or unexpected – I just want to hear and see something new. (And I like a Sunday morning break.)

This is where you come in – because I know the silent majority of readers is just that – silent. If you know someone who has a great story, or just wants to get something off their chest, send them this way. If you have something you’d like to share but up to now haven’t had the platform or outlet to do so, consider this space yours. Or if you just have a secret to confess, let this be your confessional. It’s not as private as a priest, but it’s a lot more fun. Send ideas and submissions to alanilagan1[@]gmail.com. Let your voice be heard!

(By the way, the following folks are especially encouraged to join this elite group: people I’ve lost touch with, people I’ve wronged, peopled I’ve loved, people I’ve hurt, people I’ve fucked, and people I’ve yet to meet. For example, the fabulously-attired and wonderfully-bespectacled gentleman from NYC seen below: Who is he? How did we come together in this photograph? Where can I get that jacket? These are questions that need explanations.)

 

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The Andy Cohen Diaries

Having already written the best-selling ‘Most Talkative’, Andy Cohen knows his way around book, and his latest literary venture is an enthralling, saucy, dishy good read. ‘The Andy Cohen Diaries’ takes its inspiration and namesake from another famous Andy ~ Mr. Warhol ~ and the result is a page-turning romp where names are named, Housewives are tamed, and Kevin Spacey is shamed.

An effervescent, light-hearted and admittedly shallow recounting of a year in his life, Cohen punctuates the proceedings with a surprisingly introspective look at fame, celebrity, and pop culture. He’s become a pop fixture in his own right, having propelled the Bravo network into a water-cooler topic with the ever-expansive Real Housewives’ shows and his own ‘Watch What Happens Live!’ which has injected new life into the rather tired late-night talk-show format. He remains, at heart, a pop culture fan, and that’s why his television show – and this book – work so wonderfully. His love for celebrities is authentic, and his excitement over getting to play with them is contagious and palpable.

The Warholian flourishes and fixation of all things famous, along with the endless name-dropping (the guy’s on a first-name basis with Madonna for fuck’s sake) seems like it would get dull after a while, but to Cohen’s credit (and the sly conversational skill with which the book is crafted) it never deteriorates into a one-note affair. The ebb and flow of a single year churns along, as Cohen alternately seeks and dismisses the quest for love, which arrives unexpectedly in the form of his dog Wacha. It may not be romantic, but love is love – and the relationship between dog and man is sweet and fully-realized here.

Cohen has managed to tame the fickle beast of fame by remaining grounded in some surprising ways. Rather than take the vain stab to the heart that a handsome but uninterested guy’s dismissal of him might produce in a needy freak like myself, he takes it all in stride and moves on to an evening with his pooch, largely unaffected. Those moments are the ones that work the best – the oddball side of charm and endearing vulnerability, coupled with a matter-of-fact stoner’s philosopher that life is still all good, for the most part.

Further stabilizing what could have been an exercise in self-obsession heavy on indulgent massaging (literally) is his core cast of characters – Kelly and Mark Consuelos, Anderson Cooper, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jimmy Fallon, and his own mother (whose capitalized emphasis of certain words is not only REMARKABLY EFFECTIVE, but riotously HILARIOUS). Together, with his beloved New York City, and newly-found love of his life Wacha, this is in some ways an ensemble piece, and Cohen’s love for all of the supporting characters lends a depth lacking from more self-obsessed celebrity diaries.

There is some serious behind the scenes dish that we’re likely not getting, as Cohen is clever and shrewd enough to understand that he can’t quite bite off the hand that feeds him, but he does get to nibble (Kevin Spacey and Rachel Ray might have some marks on them) and while he doesn’t get too deep or specific about his infamous Real Housewives franchise, there is some unsaid stuff that keen Bravo viewers will be able to figure out.

Fame and celebrity do come at a cost, and in the social-media world that Cohen (in his popular Twitter and Instagram incarnations) has himself celebrated and used to great advantage, there is also something to be reviled. In opening up the platform to everybody, you open yourself up to attack, and if anything seems to dampen the otherwise pretty affable Andy front, it’s the comments and attacks that come out of nowhere.

“After all these years of putting myself out there, I am pretty thick skinned, but the shit gay people say about me is, wow. I am apparently a lecherous, disgusting, old, crazy, cliche, star-fucking, ladylike, bossy bottom. That’s it in a nutshell,” he writes. And if you’ve ever made the mistake of reading the comments on any given website that allows them, you’ll know exactly what he’s talking about.

He also ruminates on the changing world around him, lamenting the quickened whitewashing of New York, as greedy landlords drive out individual restaurants and one-of-a-kind bookshops. The new world order of dating habits also makes him wary: “I am from the generation of meeting on the street and connecting – there was nowhere else to do it, but Grindr and Tinder killed that. I still look at everybody. I dig eye contact!”

That sort of longing for connection drives the narrative, and like most engaging celebrities, Cohen is as interested in others as he is in himself. You need both to properly connect to an audience – and thanks to this charming addition to his oeuvre, Cohen can now count readers among that group. His world is rarefied yet accessible, and his all-inclusive recounting of an enchanting year makes for a compelling and magical read.

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Booty & Butter

Like much of my family’s communication, the way my brother and I talk is largely fucked-up. In this instance, and many of the interactions with my brother, it’s more comical than anything else. I’m talking about when he was trying to explain the name of this car to me. Originally I think he said it was a Malibu, but then he switched jokingly to the ‘Malibooty’ so that’s what I’m calling it. It’s the same old nonsensical gab we have from time to time, like when we text about football. Anyway, here it is – the Malibooty – in all its green glory – with a backdrop of butter.

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An Evening Poem

THE LETTER
By Amy Lowell

Little cramped words scrawling all over the paper

Like draggled fly’s legs,

What can you tell of the flaring moon

Through the oak leaves?

Or of my uncurtained window and the bare floor

Spattered with moonlight?

Your silly quirks and twists have nothing in them

Of blossoming hawthorns,

And this paper is dull, crisp, smooth, virgin of

loveliness

Beneath my hand.

 

I am tired, Beloved, of chafing my heart against

The want of you;

Of squeezing it into little ink drops,

And posting it.

And I scald alone, here, under the fire

of the great moon.

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Manscaping by Ben Cohen

I can think of no one more brilliant than Ben Cohen to come out with a few male grooming products. Mr. Cohen has been celebrated for his hirsute hotness, but even the hottest guys need a bit of manscaping from time to time. To that end, he’s offering a line of grooming products to help the hairier among us to keep things under control. (I’m all for a natural look, but there are limits to how much hair actually looks good. If you can braid it, it’s got to go.) Sadly, these grooming tools are not yet available on these shores, which is another reason to go to London. Perhaps I can persuade Mr. Cohen to send me a sample so I can test it out for the American market and do a proper write-up. It’s the least I can do.

Actually, scratch that – if I ever get in touch with Ben Cohen it will be to request a pair of his underwear. (Not his actual underwear, but a pair from his underwear line. Oh who am I kidding?)

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Dickhead of the Day: Daniel Murphy

I toyed with the term ‘Asshat of the Day‘ but I eventually opted for alliteration, as I almost always will. (Douchebag of the Day would work just as well. So would Just Plain Stupid.) This is Daniel Murphy, a Mets player who recently made a few ridiculously-off-putting comments when addressing the day the Mets spent with former baseball player, and openly gay athlete, Billy Bean:

“I disagree with his lifestyle… I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual. That doesn’t mean I can’t still invest in him and get to know him. I don’t think the fact that someone is a homosexual should completely shut the door on investing in them in a relational aspect. Getting to know him. That, I would say, you can still accept them but I do disagree with the lifestyle, 100 percent.

Maybe, as a Christian, that we haven’t been as articulate enough in describing what our actual stance is on homosexuality. We love the people. We disagree the lifestyle. That’s the way I would describe it for me. It’s the same way that there are aspects of my life that I’m trying to surrender to Christ in my own life. There’s a great deal of many things, like my pride. I just think that as a believer trying to articulate it in a way that says just because I disagree with the lifestyle doesn’t mean I’m just never going to speak to Billy Bean every time he walks through the door. That’s not love. That’s not love at all.”

Mr. Murphy, you have a lot to learn about love. Mets’ general manager Sandy Alderson had invited Mr. Bean to address the team in an effort to make the environment more inclusive for all people. Mr. Murphy proved that he needed the lesson most of all, and then failed to glean anything from it. That’s just stupid – and sad.

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An Ilagan Birthday

For my brother’s birthday we had dinner at my parents’ house in Amsterdam, NY, where the twins enjoyed an influx of Uncles. It’s always risky celebrating a birthday in the midst of February in upstate New York, but this year we escaped the usual winter storm that prevents us from joining in the festivities.

Emi and Noah are getting more and more interactive, and get to do pretty much what they want, so we were treated to some wild swings of singing and playing, running around and jumping, and just a little bit of actual eating of a birthday dinner. It’s much more fun to watch when you don’t have to worry about putting them to bed or raising them for the future. So we just watched and chuckled.

Here, Emi channels her inner Janis Joplin, even if there was little singing involved.

Noah played a monkey game with me and his Dad.

It’s all about the pose and the rock-star posture.

The birthday boy and father overseeing dinner and phone at the same time.

Doting Uncles.

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Tying Up My Meat

Despite the ease with which it seemed my pal Simon tied up a piece of pork many years ago, I’ve always steered clear of anything that requires tying, at least as far as the kitchen goes. It’s one of my peculiar and unfounded fears, like my trepidation of the pool drain or the Easter bunny. But when a recipe for a basic braciole showed up online, and the weekend turned snowy, I gave the classic Italian dish a try – and it turned out pretty well.

The trick here, at least according to many iterations, is a quick searing in oil then a long, slow cook in your best tomato sauce. Here’s the recipe I used:

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 lb flank steak (usually labeled braciole meat)

6 tbsp fresh parsley leaves (roughly chopped)

8 garlic cloves (minced)

4 tbsp of olive oil

Salt and pepper to season

4 tbsp grated Pecorino Romano cheese

METHOD:

1. Lay out the braciole on wax or parchment paper. Pound with a meat mallet.

2. Season both sides generously with sea salt and pepper. Sprinkle with olive oil.

3. Spread garlic on top of the braciole evenly across the entire piece. Scatter grated cheese on top of garlic.

4. Add a thick coating of parsley.

5. Roll it up tightly and tie securely with baker’s twine.

6. Heat dutch oven on stove top to medium-high heat and add olive oil. Place bracioles in carefully and turn to brown on all sides. Add water if necessary to keep the meat moist.

7. When fully browned, cover with tomato sauce and reduce to medium-low heat and let cook slowly for 2- 2 1/2 hours. Serve bracoile and sauce over pasta.

The rolling and tying was the messiest part, but with practice I can see it becoming less unwieldy. I made a tomato sauce from scratch as well (hello kitchen ambition) and cooked it slowly for about three hours, at the end of which the meat was super tender. A variation that you may want to try is the addition of pine nuts in the braciole, for an extra Italian twist.

It seems that certain things do much better when they’re tied up. The kitchen likes it kinky.

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Zephyr in the Sky At Night, I Wonder

On this date way back in 1998 Madonna released what remains her best album to date: ‘Ray of Light.’ It’s my personal favorite as well, thanks to the time in my life when it came out, in addition to its own musical merit. ‘Light’ remade Madonna into the critically-acclaimed artist she has remained through this present day (continuing with next week’s release of ‘Rebel Heart.’)

Whenever winter starts to crumble, when spring is in the night air, I’ll play this album start to finish, and go on the emotional roller-coaster that was 1998 all over again. It’s Madonna’s most fully-realized album, a soundscape held together by William Orbit’s production, grounded in the warmth and resonance of Madonna’s voice, and lifted by the higher concerns of our place in the universe. It’s also a marker of my youth, of a time when I was searching for love, stumbling through my 20’s, and wondering whether I’d always be alone. When music comes out at such personal cross-roads, it becomes part of your soul. That’s what ‘Ray of Light’ is for me, and if you ever want to get closer to me, listen to that work and we’ll talk.

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The First Recap on the 2nd of March

The snow-covered tundra of upstate New York greets this crazy month with, what else, some more snow. Poo-poo to that frou-frou. I’m still recovering from the tornado that was having my niece and nephew stay over on Saturday night. Yes, it takes that long. Remind me never to serve French toast or anything that requires syrup again as the entire house was sticky for the whole next day. But enough about that, onto the recap…

The first surprise was the unhyped and unheralded return of the Madonna Timeline with this hush-hush song that instantly brings to mind the first guy I ever kissed.

The last week of February marked my brother’s birthday.

Madonna was dragged down but did what she does best: got back up and rose like the phoenix. You can’t keep a good woman down.

The great crepe caper.

For the first time ever, there was a three-time Hunk of the Day ~ Ronnie Kroell – as voted on by you. (And me.)

Flowers can lift the darkest days, and that’s a very good thing at this time of the year.

Fashion can do that too, and when in an emotional pinch I head to the closet and find something like this to cheer me up.

Mark MacKillop is still promoting (and perfecting) his latest book, Rm. XIV.

The Special Guest Blog is still going strong, with this entry by one of my besties, Ann Agresta. (Applications for your own Guest Blog are currently being accepted – just do it!)

The month of March is still wild.

And Tom Daley is still in a Speedo.

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The Lion Comes In

March. Month of miraculous transformation. How we have waited for you to turn the page on winter. Oh yes, I realize with much chagrin that there are still a few weeks to go – and likely the most difficult ones. Every winter snowstorm that arrives after this becomes more and more trying, testing the patience and endurance of the most jaded Northeastern denizen. I’m thoroughly sick of this shit, and have been for some time, but I’ll hold on because we’re accustomed to it. We can manage.

To commemorate this first day of the month in which spring finally pokes through the snow, a look back at March moments from the past. Let’s begin with the most recent of them, such as this two-parter when I was Boston. Part One simply must happen again, and Part Two most definitely will. I miss Boston immensely in this winter of frozen dreams and snow-bound streets.

The Ass Menagerie.

I Love Bois.

March is a good month for gingers. (Like every month, really.)

It was also the month that found the release of ‘Like A Prayer’ by Madonna.

More importantly, it’s the month of change.

Going back two years, March moments included the Magic of Mann, the wonder of ‘Ray of Light‘, the magnificence of Scott Herman, the amazing Alex Minsky, and this erotic erection collection. March also rang with music, and the music of spring always touches a deeper part of the heart.

March also means Easter bunny mayhem. (Still recovering…)

One final March post is from 2012 when we were in the throes of MDNA madness. We’re almost there again, thanks to Rebel Heart. Hold tight…

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Voodoo, Taboo, Sex & Juji: Special Guest Blog

{There are a few people in this world who have literally saved my life. Back in my high school days, that was Ann Agresta. When I was on the verge of suicidal madness, and my own family didn’t know what to do with me, I found solace and refuge in my friendship with Ann. She too was an outsider, she too felt like she didn’t belong, and when people like that are lucky enough to find one another at their lowest moments, the attraction and the need is instant and gratifying. Her Mom became a surrogate Mom to me (as so many did for reasons I’m still fathoming) and her friendship became a lifeline for some of the roughest years to follow. Whenever I’m feeling upset or overwhelmed by the world, I think of Ann. I think of our craziest and silliest times and it always manages to lift me out of the funk. When I asked her to write something for this blog, I expected something funny, but I didn’t exact to be so deeply moved too. Here is her entry, and an incriminating photo of the time I wore handcuffs and ladies lingerie. Some things never change – and I hope they never do.}

SPECIAL GUEST BLOG

By Ann Agresta

What can I say about a man I have been friends with for over 25 years? So many memories flood back to me when I think of all the years we have known each other. The bond between true friends never breaks, and I consider Alan to be a true friend. We can go years without contact, but the minute we see, email, text, Facebook or Instagram each other, it is like no time has passed at all. And that is when you know you have a true friendship. I just mentioned all the forms of social media one may use to keep in touch with friends, but my favorite is still old fashioned physical MAIL! And I like to think that Alan instilled that love of mail inside of me! The packages that I received from Alan while attending RIT caused quite a stir and I loved every minute of it. There was glitter, questionable pictures, some things I may have even blocked out of my memory. But while I was away at college and still very homesick, getting mail from Alan would cheer up any bad day I may have been having.

The closeness that I had with Alan started in high school. Missy and Alan were my best friends. We were the three musketeers, we always did everything together. High school in general wasn’t my favorite social place; I was not part of the popular groups, I was very overweight, constantly made fun of for that, never had a boyfriend and never attended a prom or senior ball. But the one thing I did have was a few true friends that never judged me. We had a bond that wasn’t based on looks or popularity. There are things that I have told Alan that no one else in the world knows about me and I would trust him with my life.

When we all went our separate ways to college, I knew we would still remain close. And Alan’s love for traveling kept our friendship alive. One of my first memories of college was Alan telling me he was gay. Now, he did date Missy in high school which is a story for a different day! But when Alan told me the news I didn’t blink an eye. It wasn’t news to me because sexuality doesn’t define anything in my eyes. It didn’t change how I felt about him. The one thing it did do was make me feel proud that he trusted me enough to tell me. I remember a lot of dark emails from Alan in our early years in college. I think we all went through dark times but Alan’s talented writing skills made his emails seem so mysterious and made the dark times seem even darker. I did worry about my friend, sometimes he seemed so alone at Brandeis. The only thing I could do for him was offer an ear when he needed to talk and have a blast with him when he visited me in Rochester. And oh boy, did we have some good times. A few highlights include: scaring children at Ponderosa because of the outfit Alan had on, me walking Alan on a leash in a grocery store in Potsdam, NY while he was wearing a pink bra as a belt, us rushing onto the dance floor at a drag show when ‘Be My Lover’ by La Bouche came on over the speaker, us cracking up together at the most inappropriate times. With just one look, Alan could make me laugh until it hurt! I do recall Alan ran over a curb in a parking lot while visiting me in Rochester and almost tore off the entire bottom of his car, but I had no part in that incident.

One of my most cherished parts of my friendship with Alan is his friendship with my mom. Because we spent so much time together, my mom loved Alan so much. She would do anything for him and with him. Case in point, she bought him the Madonna ‘Sex’ book when it came out because we were not old enough to get it! She posed for countless pictures and photo shoots with Alan. We have the pictures to prove it. I just found one the other night from the 1990’s where Alan is in a cape and my mom was taking pictures of him outside at night. And that all seems perfectly normal to me. No matter what kind of picture Alan asked any of us to pose for, we did it. I am not sure why, but it was just sort of an unsaid thing – Alan wanted pics, we did it! I posed in front of a ‘Sunset Boulevard’ poster in NYC and mimicked the pose of the character on the poster because Alan asked. Seemed perfectly normal to me. And again, that is what a good friendship is – doing things that your friend asked, no questions asked! Well, there were some more questionable moments that I probably should have not went along with, but we won’t get  into that here!

When my mom had brain surgery, Alan stopped by the house to visit while she was still recovering and her face lit up. Moments like that are never forgotten. That was a very stressful time for me, but just one look from Alan, one private joke, and we reverted back to giggling children.

I could write for days about all the memories I have with Alan. The bottom line is we will be friends forever, through good and bad, and I know that if I needed Alan at 2 AM he would be there for me and vice versa. I can hardly believe we will both be 40 years old this August. At times when I am reminiscing with Alan, I feel like I am 16 years old again. The memories bring me back to the days when life seemed simple, when the biggest decision we had to make was what color feather boa we were going to use in our photo shoot. As I type that, I am laughing because life may be more complicated now, but Alan is still deciding what color feather boa to wear in the next photo shoot!!! And that is just one of many reasons why I love him so!

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When In Doubt, Do A Daley

Tom Daley, that is. He hasn’t been here in a bit, but whenever a few new Speedo shots come out, he’s worth another post. After all, he’s one of the few select gentlemen (and woman) who constitutes his own Category. [See also David Beckham, Ben Cohen, Tom Ford, Andy and Madonna.]

Former Tom Daley posts include this one of him in a Speedo, this one of him in a Speedo, this one of him in a Speedo, this one of him in a Speedo, this one of him OUT of a Speedo, this one of him in a Speedo, this one of him in a Speedo, and this one of him in a Speedo.

Oh yeah, and this one of him in a Speedo.

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