Bathroom Briefs

Continuing our New York adventures, I present The Solitude of a Hotel Bathroom. In a city teeming with millions of people, pockets of solitary secrecy still survive, places where the mood can be sullen or celebratory and no one is any the unhappier. But as Levar Burton once put it, ‘You don’t have to take my word for it.’ And who is better at words and navel-gazing than Balzac?

“When no relationships exist which call for minor concessions in dress and deportment, we lose the habit of accepting inconvenience for the sake of others and a deterioration sets in which affects our inner and outer selves.” ~ Honore de Balzac

“Indeed, ridicule is most often incurred by the carrying of fine sentiment, good point and special ability to extremes. A haughtiness which is not toned down by intercourse with polite society takes on a certain rigidity when it can only find outlet in trivialities instead of expanding in contact with people capable of lofty feeling.” ~ Honore de Balzac

“Which of us has not observed the eccentricities peculiar to polite society, the capriciousness of its judgements and the extravagance of its demands? To some persons everything is permissible; their conduct may go far beyond the bounds of reason; all their actions are seemly; they are justified by all and sundry. But there are others to who society is incredibly severe: they must make no mistakes, never falter or even utter a foolish remark. They are like venerated statues which are removed from their pedestals once the winter frost has nipped off a finger or chipped a nose; they are allowed no human feelings and must for ever remain god-like and perfect.” ~ Honore de Balzac

“This young man is characteristic of our times. When one has no particular aptitude for anything, one takes to the pen and poses as a talented person.” ~ Honore de Balzac

“Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it.” ~ Madonna

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Happiness in a Hotel Bathroom

Even with the witty warnings of Jacob Tomsky in his excellent read ‘Heads in Beds’ I’ve always loved a hotel bathroom. I don’t care if they clean the glasses with furniture polish or pee into the cologne bottles of douche-bag travelers (you can’t unscrew a Tom Ford bottle even if you try), I can suspend the realities of what monstrous dirtiness goes on there with the pristine appearance of sterility and cleanliness. And no matter how gross any hotel bathroom might seem, it’s really nothing compared with some of the dumps I frequented in college, and some apartments that some friends still reside in.

For our recent stay at 70 Park Avenue, the bathroom was this heavenly slice of paradise looking out at the Empire State Building, and resplendent in bright tile, crisp marble, and C.O. Bigelow accoutrements. Some bathrooms get short shrift in hotels, particularly in New York, but this one was a long, lean, beauty-enhancing machine.

When you get into a hotel room, you lock the door, and you know there is a secrecy, there is a luxury, there is fantasy. There is comfort. There is reassurance. ~ Diane von Furstenberg

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A New York City Birthday Adventure Begins

On the Amtrak ride along the Hudson River, I scrolled through the offerings on my phone. There were two decent tickets available for ‘Kinky Boots‘ that evening, and since we had no plans, I booked them. I’d wanted Andy to see it ever since my Mom and I had been blown away by the great Billy Porter, and since it was my birthday weekend I was feeling generous and treated him to a performance. (He did, after all, get us tickets to the last performance of ‘Bullets Over Broadway‘ but I’m getting ahead of myself.)

For now, the train chugged along the river, and I watched as Andy alternately gazed at the surroundings and tried to sleep amid the raucous debauchery of a group of Yankees fans. They felt that 9 AM was the ideal time to start drinking and discussing the game that was to take place in a few hours. I popped in my earbuds and let Sam Cooke take me away.

My ambivalence toward New York has been made known, but I planned this trip a little differently, allowing ample rest time for Andy, securing a decent room in a decent hotel, and spacing out shows and dinners so nothing was rushed or hastened. Coupled with a spot of beautiful August weather, it came together as one of our favorite trips to the city.

It began with the sensational environs of the 70 Park Avenue Hotel. This heavenly Kimpton property gave us a corner room on the top floor, with a balcony that looked right up towards the Empire State Building. It was my first time staying in an NYC room with a balcony and it was every bit as wonderful as you might imagine. Along with a few cocktail coupons, and a magnificent basket of fruits and cheeses, the Kimpton folks made this birthday boy feel cherished and celebrated. I cannot sing their praises enough, and while I tend to try different hotels when traveling, I will be keeping the Kimpton hotels as my first preference.

After a dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant, Rossini’s, we made our way to the Al Hirschfield Theater and I was thrilled to see that Billy Porter was still starring in ‘Kinky Boots’ – he gave another fantastic performance, and won Andy over.

We walked back to the hotel on a beautiful evening, returning to our room and looking out at the blinking lights of the city. On nights like this, I loved New York.

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The Madonna Timeline: Song #108 ~ ‘Burning Up’ – 1983

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

Not every Madonna song is a classic in the mold of ‘Like A Prayer’ or ‘Ray of Light‘ – and even though this Madonna Timeline selection is reportedly one of Guy Oseary’s favorites, I’ve never been all that fond of it (though the video and sound are classic early Madonna.) This is ‘Burning Up’ – a relic from the 80’s that probably should remain buried there. I differ from many Madonna fans on my antipathy for the song, but there’s enough room in the world for different tastes, so I’m standing by my dislike.

Don’t put me off ’cause I’m on fire
And I can’t quench my desire
Don’t you know that I’m burning up for your love
You’re not convinced that that is enough
I put myself in this position
And I deserve the imposition
But you don’t even know I’m alive
And this pounding in my heart just won’t die
I’m burning up

‘Burning Up’ treated us to one of the first hallmarks of many a Madonna song: an unabashed ode to sexuality and pleasure that could also be read as an ode to love. Underneath all the double entendres there is the simple excitement of feeling the heat from an object of affection, and the passionate will to do anything for said object.

You’re always closing your door
Well that only makes me want you more
And day and night I cry for your love
You’re not convinced that that is enough
To justify my wanting you
Now tell me what you want me to do
I’m not blind and I know
That you want to want me but you can’t let go
Come on, let go!

It also set Madonna apart from everyone else, particularly in the way she snarls, “Unlike the others I’ll do anything, I’m not the same, I have no shame, I’m on fire!” Little did the world knew how true she would prove that to be.

You know you got me burning up, baby (Burning up for your love)
You know you got me burning up, baby (Burning up for your love)
Song #108: ‘Burning Up’ – 1983
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The Long and Thin August Recap

Instead of recapping the week, let’s revisit the entire month of August, as it was too lush to leave without notice. The fact that it’s already September is incontrovertible, but that doesn’t make it any less depressing. For now though, a look back at the month where I began, and everything that led up to this moment.

August marked one of my first trips to Provincetown, and Shirley Horn put a capital ‘F’ in it.

August is also the personification of summer.

August is about lavender, hosta, and lilies.

August is about family and fun.

August is about birthday plans and hotel stays.

And birthday plans come to life.

And birthday suits.

And other people’s birthdays.

August is about eating well and eating beets.

August is about fun music from the likes of Mika.

August is Broadway.

August can be like a virgin, and like an idiot.

August can be a dead bunny.

Sometimes August is about being an outsider.

Sometimes it’s about being scared.

And sometimes it’s about being a kid again.

August is about smelling good.

This August was certainly about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

And last but most definitely not least, August displayed this magnificent menagerie of miscellaneous men, which added to its ranks with the likes of this long and luscious list:

Chase Finlay

James Magnussen

John Barrowman

Billy Magnussen

Trey Songz

Charles Dera

Parker Gregory

Willie Gomez

Kerry Degman

Damien Rodgers

Ezra Miller

Matthew Paetz 

Idris Elba

Noam Ash

Duncan Mais

Dan Osborne

Derek Richardson

Liam Payne

Matthew Camp

Dushyant Yadav

Brad Pitt

And after all this, I can’t wait to see what September brings.

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Temperature Demarcation

It crept in with the night, stealthily and silently. The garage had kept it out, in the tricky way it held onto heat, so when I stepped outside onto the driveway the onslaught of cold air was a shock. The first cool day hinting of fall is always a jolt. It’s a bit too soon to be wholly welcome, but we’ve been making the most of the summer days and I’m almost – almost – looking forward to fall. Extreme heat does nothing for me. Well, that’s not entirely true – it can turn me into a raging bitch from hell. I don’t like to be sticky and sweet. But comfortable days, as we’ve been having of late, with some sun and a dip in humidity, set my mind at ease. The cooler temperatures bring the blue of the sky into better focus. This time of the year does that. It will lend deeper color to anything in bloom as well. It’s the consolation for beginning the final trek of summer days. Fall is less than a month away.

The line of demarcation regarding seasons is never as finite as some of us Virgos might like it to be. There are areas of gray matter, of in-between shading, and on the days straddling high and late summer it can go either way. When I’m not afforded the luxury of poolside lounging, I prefer them to err on the side of cool but sunny. Occasionally there is a happy medium, and it’s always too fleeting.

Right now, the goldenrod is lighting up the edges of fields, and the asters of fall are budding. Summer is past its peak, but purple loosestrife and blue chicory are still going strong. We have a bit more time. We have some more summer.

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Orlando Bloom Gets Naked

While he has yet to be named an official Hunk of the Day, Orlando Bloom gets his first nude feature in this post. (Perhaps we’re doing a six-degrees-of-sexiness curve, as Mr. Bloom co-starred with today’s Hunk Brad Pitt in ‘Troy.’) While I didn’t quite get the attraction during Bloom’s elvish (elfin?) stint in ‘The Lord of the Rings’ (long blond hair and pointy ears?) I came around in his ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ turn. Sometimes I prefer brunettes to blondes. Here are some stills and GIFs from his new movie, in which he appears to take on a home invader dressed in nothing but his tattoos. Regardless of hair color, the best Orlando Bloom is a nude Orlando Bloom.

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Steve Grand Gets Nude, Jumps in Lake

For his twist on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Steve Grand gets naked and jumps into the nearest lake. Here’s his Instagram pic of the gratuitous goings-on. Leave it to Mr. Grand to trump us all with nothing but that itsy-bitsy towel. Don’t forget to check out his Hunk of the Day post… and seek out some hidden gems in the archives if you are so delighted.

 

UPDATE: Here is the video.

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Too Cute to Hate, or Exterminate

By all sensible wisdom, I should not be happy to have a bunny in the backyard. A single cuddly critter can wreak havoc with the vegetation, in just a few sittings. (It’s nowhere near the massacre a single groundhog can commit in just one night, but it’s close.) This little rabbit, however, is too small to do very much damage, and thus far he or she has been keeping to the weeds, which I appreciate.

While we won’t be inviting the less-than-fearsome rodent to stay anytime soon, we will tolerate its muted nibbling as the season draws to its close.

UPDATE:

Yesterday Andy found our little friend at the bottom of the pool, dead.

I suppose this means one of us is pregnant.

Shit.

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Not Quite Dodging A Bullet: ‘Bullets Over Broadway’ Review

With its epochal questions of the artist versus the man, ‘Bullets Over Broadway’ is a good musical that wants to be great, but falls just slightly short of that unreachable goal. Like its flawed hero David Shayne, it performs admirably enough, but misses that final pull on the heartstrings that would make this more than what it is – which is, thanks to an ensemble of sheer perfection – already a pretty good show. (When Karen Ziemba is relegated to a rather minor supporting role, you know the talent pool is deep.) Luckily for this premiere staged version, that talented cadre of a cast is what lifts it into something better than its lighter-touch would have anyone presume.

Before you consider purchasing tickets, the bad news upfront is that I saw the show on its closing day. There’s something special about the closing performance of a relatively new musical, and this one proved exceptionally powerful, with the cast and crew rising to the occasion to produce a series of show-off-numbers and comedic gold. Making his leading man stage debut, Zach Braff as David Shayne takes the helm and carries the show on his more than capable shoulders. Broadway veteran Marin Mazzie (of ‘Passion’ and ‘Ragtime’ fame) fittingly portrays Broadway diva Helen Sinclair, in a role originated onscreen by the great Dianne Wiest. Comparisons are inevitable, but Ms. Mazzie’s golden voice supersedes any messy holes in the plot – though this reveals the fatal weakness of the production: these performers are far better than the material.

Whereas the movie was more of a comedic farce, the stage version leans a bit too heavily on the artist/man hang-up at one moment, before falling into broad humor the next. It can’t quite make up its mind whether to wallow in the pathos of the moral questions at hand or gloss over it all with superb stage presence. Some shows can have it both ways, but not this one.

Talent will always rise above, however, and this show had it in spades. There’s the aforementioned Braff and Mazzie, who perform the most moving highlight of the show – ‘There’s a Broken Heart for Every Light on Broadway’ – and by the end of it, as waves of applause echoed through the St. James Theatre, you could see Mr. Braff wipe a few tears from his eyes, perhaps realizing the bittersweet ending of a dream. He need not cry about it – his performance was pitch-perfect, and his singing voice was a revelation. It’s no mean feat to go head-to-head with a Broadway pro like Mr. Mazzie, but Mr. Braff more than held his own.

Hélene Yorke snatched the bulk of the laughs with her dithering portrayal of the worst actress in the world, Olive Neal. As her mafia-man sugar daddy, Vincent Pastore brings some slithering Sopranos charm to his mobster role, while Brooks Ashmanskas brings belly laughs (literally) as the ever-expanding Warner Purcell. With charisma and charm, and equal parts generosity and menace, reaches into the rafters with his spot-on portrayal of secretly-talented hit man Cheech, whose creative relationship with Braff’s Shayne is more interesting than any of the other predictable romances. Yet not enough is made of this, and not enough is done to make this anything more than the movie version come to imitated life.

Still, there are glimmers of what could have been. In many ways, this is a throwback to a more innocent Broadway, when song and dance and triple-threat performers wowed audiences with their sheer precision and bombast. That was most evident in the raucous take on ‘Taint Nobody’s Business If I Do.’ For those of us who started off almost cringing at the idea of a dancing chorus line of mobsters, the troop quickly won most over with their exuberance, their talent, and the sheer force of their will to entertain.

As good as the actors give, the show itself fails to fully rise to the occasion. Director, choreographer, and all-around genius Susan Stroman does her best to thrill and dazzle, and several unique staging decisions (from an ingenious train to a three-sided merry-go-round of scenes) provide both spectacle and plot-points that drive the story (the climactic staging of the play features a spinning behind-the-scenes look at the play-within-the-musical), yet it lacks a cohesive arc. Part of this is due to the source material: at once a love letter and a Dear John kiss-off to Broadway, especially its critics. Ruminations of the value of art versus the value of a human being feel heavy-handed in a show that wants to delight with sheer showbiz pizzazz. Its musical reliance on a few tried-and-true standards also feels like a tepid retreading wanting for deeper resonance, something that connects more.

That said, praise must still be sung for that cast, those fine performers who carried it into the realm of something spectacular. It showcased the magic of artists at the height of their power, making the most of what they are given, and putting on a performance that made everyone in the audience a believer… even if it was the very last time.

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The Grand & Gratuitous Matthew Camp Post

This website, along with millions of other folks, has long been a fan of Mr. Matthew Camp. He’s already been featured here, where his fragrance – 8.5 – has been glowingly profiled and reviewed. He’s got his hands, and other appendages, in a lot of pots, and that sort of Renaissance stance will always be impressive to the liberal artist in me. (As will his naked bottom.) There’s not much substance to this post, as it’s all about Mr. Camp in glorious GIF motion and some colorful photos. I sense an in-depth interview and feature coming… Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. Camp?

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A Belated Happy Birthday to Tom Ford

In the fast-paced whirlwind of the end of August, I missed a post celebrating the birthday of one of the men I most admire: Tom Ford. My obsession with his Private Blend fragrance collection has been well-documented in these pages, and since a few have asked which ones I like best, I present my current inventory, with links to those which have been featured here:

Among these are a few extra-special favorites: I adore ‘Amber Absolute’ for its smoky amber richness, ‘Plum Japonais’ for its fruity exotic sweetness, and ‘Mandarino di Amalfi’ for its summery citrus freshness. I usually save ‘Santal Blush’ for the holidays, as it’s almost over-the-top in decadence (yes, I try to rein things in at quieter times of the year.) The more woodsy options – ‘Oud Wood’ and ‘Bois Marocain’ are more suitable for day-to-day wear, but make no mistake: Tom Ford’s Private Blends are special, so I only wear them on important days.

As for the man himself, he recently did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, and managed to make even that messy bit of waterlogged madness look sexy. See here:

Happy (Belated) Birthday to a master of style and scent.

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The Musical Magnificence of Mika

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve purchased an actual CD from a physically-standing store, but on my last visit to Boston I saw the new album by Mika, ‘The Origin of Love’, in Barnes & Noble, so I picked it up for the car ride home. There are only a few artists whose music I would buy before hearing any of the songs – Madonna, Shirley Horn (sadly no more new music), and James.

On this record, the music sounds like the love child between Daft Punk and Erasure – making it both of-the-moment but also timeless. In other words, an instant classic that manages to sound both completely familiar and entirely new. Such musical magic is difficult to conjure, but Mika has managed to make it happen on all three of his albums to date, progressively revealing a darker yet still-accessible side on cuts like ‘Make You Happy’ or ‘Overrated’. He continues to craft some of the frothiest pop out there today, as in ‘Popular Song‘ (which gleefully borrows from ‘Wicked‘) and the gorgeous ‘Kids’.

Such stuff might at first seem tailor-made for over-production and saccharine sweetness, but Mika wisely veers clear of such pitfalls, stripping things down for the title track. Filled with ambivalence, and shot through with treacherous questions on faith and religion, ‘Origin of Love’ is a powerful reminder of the potency of Mika at his best. It begins somewhat slowly for the bombastic guy responsible for such rousing anthems as ‘Grace Kelly’ and ‘We Are Golden’ but it grows into something richer and more lasting.

Even when he’s being snarky and sardonic, as in the beautifully blunt ‘Love You When I’m Drunk’, the music is so light and bouncy it takes away a bit of the edge, but in doing so lends it a more sinister impact. He may cut you, but it’s going to feel and sound so good you won’t mind as much.

That’s Mika’s greatest weapon: he’s an aural assassin, and his music can slay the staunchest enemy. Any lashing out comes from a displacement of hurt, deliciously disguised as he shuffles along on marvelous melodies and resounding choruses.

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Three Augusts

Far more than other years, I really don’t want August to end. That goes for the summer as a whole, and this is the first year in some time that I’ve felt so strongly about it. This one has just gone by too quickly. So let’s draw it out a bit, and look back over a trio of Augusts that came before.

First up is August 2010 – for which there were only two saved entries. But I’m quite fond of them both.

August 2011 found a few entries exploring the city of Boston. Much summer magic takes place in that miraculous city.

On the very edge of Massachusetts is where we spent a few days in August 2012 – when a birthday was spent in Provincetown.

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Post-Birthday Recap

Since there was more than the anniversary of my birth going on in the last week, or so I’ve been told, here’s a quick encapsulation of other supposedly-notable posts that shared the birthday limelight.

It was the wee in which I was finally tagged on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Having previously avoided the shenanigans, it was Skip Montross who finally named me, and I accepted – well, I sort of accepted. Let’s just say they got the money, and a bucket was involved.

One thing that was not quite ready to kick the bucket was summer, as seen in some hosta shots and stargazing images.

Summer is also a time to get beet up.

My bush brings all the butterflies to the yard.

Off to Market.

Hunks on Parade marched their shirtless wares through the wind-down weeks of summer. Idris Elba proved what the bulge was all about, Matthew Paetz proved that Lea Michele has amazing taste, Noam Ash proved that adorable and sexy are not exclusive of each of each other, Duncan Mais proved that sometimes mere mortals are Superheroes, and Damien Rodgers continued his quest for the Mr. Gay World title.

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