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A Secluded Ogunquit Space

One of my favorite haunts was in full-bloom during this recent trip to Ogunquit. It’s a woodland garden nestled in an out-of-the-way spot near the Ogunquit Heritage Museum. No one seems to know about the area, and I’m glad, as it affords one of the only spaces of solitude during a bustling fair-weather holiday weekend. The back entrance to it is framed by a pair of white bleeding hearts, and inside a path meanders along informal gardens filled with trillium, poppies, lily of the valley, and other shade-loving bloomers. My time there is always calm and quiet, and to lend a bit of that silence to this post, my commentary will end here.

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The Lilacs of Maine

One of the perks of a late spring season in Ogunquit is getting to experience the lilacs all over again. On many years, Memorial Day arrives too late, and follows too much warm weather, for the lilacs to hang on until we get there. This time around, they were in full bloom throughout the entire town. Everywhere we went their delicious scent formed a perfectly-perfumed backdrop. The sweetness carried on every breeze, and even at night when they hid in the darkness, we could tell they were there.

No other flower conveys memories of childhood – and spring – as powerfully as the lilac. It’s also come to signify our time in Ogunquit, as there is a long row of the New England beauties along the driveway of our guesthouse. Innkeepers Greg and Mike always include a bouquet of them if they’re in bloom, and so our room is filled with the glorious scent as well.

Fragrance is one of the most powerful memory-triggers of the human experience. Music comes in a close second for me, but certain scents have a way of bringing me back to moments more effectively and meaningfully than anything else. (There’s a certain corner of McNulty School that always brings back to the terror of grade school with its stale odor, and my reaction to it is frighteningly visceral.) The memories that lilacs brings up are much happier. Hopeful. The stuff of spring – and the start of a new season.

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Ogunquit Quietude

Some Ogunquit visits are loud and exciting, filled with noise and fireworks and non-stop motion. Other visits are quieter and looser, subdued by beauty, good food and lovely weather, like a balm upon the soul when the rest of the world gets a little too noisy and chaotic. For this trip, after such a torturous winter, we opted for the latter. I wanted quiet and peace, with room for naps, and an unrushed pace that allowed the town to wash over our weariness, gently restoring and replenishing what the winter had drained.

It began on the Marginal Way, and both of our walks along that gorgeous path happened to be at times when the tide was going out. There were no thundering waves crashing upon the rocks, no relentless wind that made talking and listening difficult. It was as if the ocean was lulling the hesitant back into trusting her again, and it worked.

Flowers joined in the gentle tugging at the heart. Much of the plant life was late, but that worked out well; we often miss the lilacs but now they were in full bloom (more on them later). Other things were just beginning, such as this brilliant blue camassia (the flowers of which are usually gone by the time we arrive). Creeping phlox was a carpet of riotous color, while apple and plum blossoms waved fragrant white flags against the sky.

For a writer and observer (and, ahem, blogger) it is sometimes difficult to get out of one’s head-space, to not worry about documenting and retaining what is being seen and experienced, but when I’m in Ogunquit, I remember to let go and inhabit the moment. It takes a while to be wholly present again, to be completely mindful of where I am and not think about the future.

I walk out along the rocks, peering into tide pools and the gorgeous green ribbons of seaweed gently undulating with each lapping wave. Bits of iridescent sea shells sparkle in the sun-drenched water, and the warm light of that setting orb sets the rocks aflame.

I pause and look out over the ocean, and Andy takes the only photos that will be taken of me for the rest of the weekend. (There will be more than enough of me to come in the next few months… you have been warned.) For now, we examine a feather at the foot of the Marginal Way, as indicative of the beauty and the quiet I’ve sought for so long. It is as lovely a beginning as any.

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Another Season in Ogunquit Begins

A tiny and quiet start to our long weekend in Ogunquit is provided by these flowers – each of which is no bigger than the nail on my pinky finger. They are likely missed by most walkers on the Marginal Way, but I know where to look for them, and they’ve lingered there for the better part of a decade. How something so small and delicate-looking can be hardy enough to survive the wilds of the Maine coast is a wonderful mystery of the world.

They flutter in the wind, yet never falter, and their beauty is hidden among the rocks and roughly-hewn junipers. They signify the start to summer in a seaside resort town, and in their quiet, soft-spoken whisper, they are the perfect beginning to our lazy weekend in Ogunquit.

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Josh Duggar is a Child Molester

Very rarely do people piss me off for doing something that has no direct effect on my life, but Josh Duggar is the exception. He’s the oldest son in the Duggar Family – a family that doesn’t believe in birth control, and is vehemently opposed to marriage equality. If that’s what they want to believe, fine. Doom your children to an outdated, out-of-touch future in which their cult-like upbringing is directly at odds with the majority of reasonable, rational, fair-minded and accepting people of this country. But Josh Duggar, in addition to preaching and railing against marriage equality, committed a few sins that you really can’t commit if you are to stand in judgment of others. He molested at least five under-age girls when he was fourteen years old. A few of them were his sisters. And he’s admitted to it.

His parents, also adamantly and outspokenly against marriage equality, not only didn’t report the molestations in their home for over a year, they sent him to seek counseling from a man who is now in jail for possession of child pornography.

So let’s keep this simple and fact-based: Josh Duggar molested little girls in their sleep, but now wants forgiveness and redemption because he had the guts to admit it and apologize. Umm, WHAT? Because you said you’re sorry and regret it makes it all right and forgivable? That’s not how it works. The child molesters I’ve seen on the news don’t – and shouldn’t – get to say they’re sorry and move on with their lives. They robbed children of innocence, they raped and molested and ruined and destroyed – and neither they, nor you, Josh Duggar, get to apologize and receive any sort of exoneration.

A fourteen-year-old knows the difference between right and wrong. Touching the breasts and genitals of your little sisters while they were asleep is not a simple mistake, it’s a deliberate act of cunning and cruelty, one that was repeated more than once. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, the parents, didn’t report the events for over a year, making them just as guilty for not protecting their own daughters.

As someone who’s been on the general end of Duggar’s anti-gay-marriage rhetoric and views, I’m appalled by his actions.

As someone who believes that most people deserve some chance at forgiveness and redemption, I cannot find it in my heart to offer that to a child molester. A child molester is a sick fuck. A child molester like Josh Duggar, who molested his own sisters, is something so disgusting that it goes beyond any name or label that accurately designates the appropriate terror.

You may say what you like about my lifestyle or the choices I’ve made over the years, but not once was one of those choices to molest an under-age girl or boy. Not when I was fourteen, not when I’m forty, not ever. Josh Duggar chose to do that to his own sisters. If you can forgive that, if you can forget that, and if you can think it’s ok for that to have happened with no recompense, then you’re a better person than me.

Or maybe not.

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A Perfect Rose, An Imperfect Gardener

Though I pride myself on having a green thumb, I’ve had a number of notable failures in the garden – chief among them my difficulties with roses. Aside from the fool-proof knockout series (a bland thing if ever there was one), I’ve yet to have a successful rose endeavor.

When I was a kid, I begged and pleaded with my parents to order a few roses from Jackson and Perkins. Their catalogs were practically porn for my floral-fixation, and I narrowed it down to a selection of six rose plants, each with a fancy name and pedigree. A few weeks later they arrived in a big box – monstrous things that were alien-like in their bare-rooted form. The planting instructions called for them to be soaked/submerged in water for a few hours prior to planting, so I filled the bathtub with lukewarm water. Ahh yes, the brain of a child. I don’t recall the mess that was made because it was so bad I likely put it from my mind. While they soaked (and left their dirt rings on the tub) I set about preparing six enormous holes in the front and side gardens. Visions of dazzling rose bushes filled my head, with blooms that spilled forth with abundant floriferous vociferousness.

I amended the soil and dug deeply, with ample manure and generous dashes of bone meal. I left a mound at the bottom of each hole, as per the elaborate directions included with them, and somehow hauled the beasts out of the tub and back down to their new homes. Gently, I fanned out the roots over the mounds, then backfilled and firmly secured the plants with crowns at ground level. A small basin designed to catch water surrounded each plant, and I watered them in well. I could almost sense them growing, and I stood there when the last one was in, just waiting for some sign of growth to occur. Again, the mind of a child: ever-hopeful, ever-antsy, ever-anticipating.

Only the two in the sunniest spots did much. In fact, they were the only ones that survived that first year. Fantasies of armloads of rose blooms spilling out of baskets and bouquets were left as just that. The pink and yellow and white varieties I so wanted to see in person didn’t make it. Only those two stalwart red plants survived the winter. They did well enough, and the next year I did manage to coax a few blooming spells from them, but their upkeep and insect control were too taxing to be enjoyed, and their spindly form left much to be desired. I gave up, and roses left my life until I met Andy.

This year he’s trying the variety you see here. Lightly fragrant, and beautifully shaded with an almost lavender blush, it’s a beautiful specimen. I just hope it’s not too fussy.

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A Recap Within a Recap

The labyrinth of previous posts on this blog runs long, wide and deep. Go to town with that metaphor until you’re raw and sore, but it’s the truth. Here’s a look back at two previous Memorial Day posts, which are all recaps given that the holiday is traditionally celebrated on a Monday – our look-back day.

In 2013 a sexy spread of Matthew Camp enticed readers to click away.

Last year, Ben Cohen and David Beckham tag-teamed the post – the former bulging through his briefs, the latter chilling in his sweats.

Stay tuned for this year’s Ogunquit recap, coming up as soon as I rest from this vacation.

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A Memorial Recap

Let the unofficial start of the summer season begin! This is the real ‘most wonderful time of the year’ for me, as it signals the sweetest weather is about to arrive, and the gardens are still relatively fresh and green. It’s a time of promise and hope and all that has yet to come – the time of possibility. Anticipation will always trump execution in my warped mind. That said, a dose of recent nostalgia with this look back at the previous week’s events will make this vacation Monday an easy one.

Kicking up the heat with his cooking acumen, Chef Michael Chernow was named Hunk of the Day earlier in the week.

Yet another record-breaking week for Madonna. Bow down, bow down, bow down.

Meet the newest bulge of Armani underwear: Fabio Mancini.

Get a load of this dick-wad.

Digg this: Hunk of the Day Taye Diggs.

John Irving, Master of Words.

A recommendation from a straight guy: Hunk of the Day Toby Kebbell.

A pink pansy (and I don’t mean me.)

Exposed my naked ass, and I did it with a smile.

Where we were.

Talk about your hot nuts, this is Hunk of the Day Morris Chestnut.

Within the realm of Hunkdom, a look at some of the finest.

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In the Realm of Hunkdom

Given the regularity of posts here, some hunks may have escaped your notice. Others may be worth a second look. Either way, this is a brief encapsulation of several noteworthy gentlemen who have previously graced this site with their shirtless presence, and a few who have given us some naked presents as well.

The feature pic, as should always be the case, is a double shirtless gift of Zac Efron. He indulges most of us by regularly doffing his shirt, and recently gave the illusion of doffing everything else. (Somehow, nude-hued briefs work just as well on him.)

Nick Youngquest is another perennial favorite here, and I’m not sure why he hasn’t achieved such wide-spread acclaim as Ben Cohen or David Beckham. (I may be crossing my balls here, sportswise at least, so perhaps that’s the reason.) At any rate, he’s been here a number of notable times, including this magnificent view of his naked ass, these nude shots of his ass, and this partially-obscured view of his front.

Below are a pair of Hunks relatively new to the site. Charlie King has put his tush on display in his Hunk of the Day feature, and he does it again here, along with Fabio Mancini, who fills out his Armani briefs impeccably.

One of our most-recent Hunks is Morris Chestnut, the smoldering actor whose intense gaze defined the word ‘sultry.’

Finally, we close this Hunk-retrospective out with the ever-classy Benedict Cumberbatch, who made some of us into squealing Cumberbitches.

 

 

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A Lap Dance by Hedda Lettuce

Certain drag queens are institutions. Indelibly intertwined with an image and a name, in person they can feel like some Hollywood superstar come to life. Some are known by a single name – and some by a single verdant color. Hedda Lettuce unfurls her leafy brand of sass this weekend at Maine Street in Ogunquit, and there’s nothing more entertaining than seeing a queen at the top of her game.

She first came to most of our attention with a scene-stealing turn on ‘Sex and the City’ and an epic Madonna-intro at the MTV Music Awards. More exciting to me was the time she once graciously posed for a photo while hawking tickets for her show on a rare sultry day in Provincetown. She was witty and fun and completely professional, and one got the sense that this was serious business for her. Such dedication to a role and a craft was admirable.

All of that was but a flirty prelude for my encounter with the green goddess last night, in which she dedicated a song to me, ‘Fuck Me Baby’ (based on my crossed-arms stance) and topped it off with a dirty grind in the form of a lap-dance. As thrilling as that was, it was the content and seamless flow of the evening that most impressed.

A self-described “old-school” drag queen, her Bette Davis references were caught by some of us, while those who have been woefully untouched by Ms. Davis could appreciate the modern-day no-holds-barred raunchiness of other topical moments. The recent happy events in Ireland made a timely backdrop to a marriage-equality anthem, and though she professed to be in ragged voice due to the allergies of New England, she sounded in fine form. The drag queen who can actually sing seems to be a rare and dying breed, and those who do it are all the more astounding for it.

She pokes fun at herself good-naturedly throughout the evening, claiming she’s made it this far on her cheekbones and lighting alone, but no one who has lasted this long and can still command an entire room for an hour lacks of talent in any way. Finishing with a rousing ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’ she closes out her first night of a triumphant return to Ogunquit in rollicking fashion.

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In the Maine

This marks our 15th year visiting Ogunquit, Maine but I still feel the same excitement and thrill in going as I did on that very first trip. On that memorable weekend, it was late summer and the town was switching into slower fall gear, but it was as enchanting as ever. The next year we switched over to kicking it off in spring for Memorial Day weekend, and then closing it out in fall over Columbus Day weekend. Of course, it is this weekend which is my favorite. For all the loveliness of fall, there will always be something better about spring. The whole of summer lies await ahead of us. There is more magic in anticipation than recollection.

That said, a few looks back never hurt anyone, and there have been many at Maine over the years.

There is a peace and contentment that settles within instants of finding my way back to Ogunquit.

When it rains, there are still enchantments to be found along the wet shore.

There is even some male nudity on display if you know where to look and when.

Even when I’m not there, I keep a little bit of it in me.

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Trickster, My Ass

“We said earlier that the trickster simultaneously represents the animal and the divine in humanity. In societies like those of the Western world in which sexuality is given high priority and organized religion depreciated, entry into no other sphere of activity than sex is so much desired. No other channel for desire offers so many people the gratifying illusion of power. They seem to sense that though its ecstasies sex might let them breach the limits of the body to touch immortality. Power seems even to many of the powerless to be within reach here.

Of course the search for power tends to corrupt no matter where it is found; and for every sexual relationship that empowers its partners, delivering them to ecstasy, there are others dogged by misery. Far from being a romantic, lyric or even comfortable figure, the trickster invariably presents us with an awkward uncomfortable personality as well as a persuasive and amusing prankster and sexual polymorph.” ~ John Izod

“Significantly, he cannot be tied down: he is a shape shifter, appearing at one moment in one form, only to transmute and make his next entrance in quite another. Such versatility matches his function in running counter to the orientation of the individual’s conscious mind.” – John Izod

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A Pansy of Pink

The smiling pucker of a pansy is sometimes enough to lift the darkest day. Even bowed down by a shower of raindrops, their little faces are still there, ready to face the sun when it deigns to show itself again. While I love seeing these beauties in pots and in yards in the early part of the season, I’ve never grown or planted them myself. A few years of Johnny-jump-ups were all I could muster.

That distant cousin of the pansy, with the much-smaller blossoms and tenacious reseeding tendency, makes a charming-enough companion in the garden, would pop up in unexpected and not-always-welcome places. They always kept me on my toes, and I was usually too guilty to pick them up and move them somewhere more appropriate of aesthetically-pleasing, choosing instead to let them fill the edges of borders or poke through a cement crack. Their unpredictability was a lesson in accommodation, and I knew it was a lesson I needed to learn.

Now, I admire the pansies and the Johnny-jump-ups from a distance. Our summers are simply too long and hot for them to last much beyond June or July, and when you need something to see you through August and September, these just don’t cut it. This gardener doesn’t have time for that.

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Master of Words

John Irving is one of my favorite authors. He consistently delivers spellbinding prose, and every novel he crafts manages to conjure the aching resilience and hope of the human spirit with wildly varying settings and characters. The one constant is a gentle examination of the brutalities we inflict on one another, and the notion that no matter how impossible it may seem, we always have the capacity to change, to become someone new, someone better.

While I’ll probably always favor ‘A Prayer for Owen Meany’ over everything else (you never forget your first time), I was also quite enamored of ‘In One Person’. Perhaps upon perusing the following quotes, you may be tempted to give it a try. I’d certainly encourage it.

“You shouldn’t guess about someone’s past; if you don’t see any evidence of it, a person’s past remains unknown to you.” ~ John Irving

“That moment when you are tired of being treated like a child – tired of adolescence, too – that suddenly opening but quickly closing passage, when you irreversibly want to grow up, is a dangerous time. In a future novel (an early one), I would write: “Ambition robs you of your childhood. The moment you want to become an adult – in any way – something in your childhood dies.” ~ John Irving

“You can’t force children to become something they’re not. You can’t simply tell a boy not to play with dolls.” ~ John Irving

“What’s the point of having a love of your life, if he’s not always with you?” ~ John Irving

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Have You Seen This Truck?

If you know the owner of this blue truck, please inform him that he is a total dick-wad/douche-bag. I had just pulled into the Price Chopper parking lot and was about to start walking towards the entrance when this truck recklessly pulled into the first handicapped spot. Aside from the fact that he almost hit me while I was on foot, he also did not have a handicapped tag hanger in his truck, nor any indication of such on the license plate. Instead, he hopped out of the driver’s seat in a pair of ratty flip lops, and jauntily strode into the store.

I almost said something, but he was sporting an almost-mullet, and I’m scared that anyone with a mullet doesn’t have the sense to deal with people in a reasonable manner. Instead, I watched, figuring maybe he was just in a massive hurry and needed to get something quickly. He grabbed a push cart and began his shopping, at which point I let it go.

As I came out after getting my few items, he was apparently still shopping, so the quick pick-up theory was out the window. I took these pics of his offending (and offensive) dilapidated vehicle, when an older woman hobbled out of her car, which did have a handicapped hanger in it. She saw me taking photos and asked if it was because he didn’t have a hanger. I said yes. She clutched the cart to keep herself upright and said she’d vouch for me if I needed her to. I smiled – I wasn’t filing a report or anything, I told her, I was just going to broadcast it to thousands of people. Public shaming usually goes further than a paltry Price Chopper police report.

“Oh, I don’t know how that Twitter and stuff works, but I’ll vouch for you if you need it,” she repeated. I said it wasn’t necessary, and bade her good day. She pushed her cart past the ugly truck and into the store.

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