Christmas All Over Again

Some unfortunate souls still haven’t finished their Christmas shopping yet, and to them I say… well, I’m not going to say anything. It’s the season of giving, so consider that my gift to all humankind. I’ve already done my shopping bit, and as much as I love it, it does bring back memories of entering the maelstrom of the retail world just prior to Christmas. If you think it’s a nightmare being a shopper at this time of the year, it’s nothing compared to being a retail worker.

Back in the 90’s, during an epic stint at Structure, my managers wanted me working the floor as much as possible, so I got to know the holiday soundtrack quite well. The day after Thanksgiving that holiday tape started its non-stop rotation. It began with ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ and went downhill from there. Yet somehow the repetition didn’t wear me down, and it didn’t dull my love for Christmas songs (with the possible exception of that “you mean you forgot cranberries too?” awfulness).

What got me through it all was the shared camaraderie of my co-workers and managers. The stress and excitement and mixed bag of the holiday shopping season bound us all together. It made me feel a part of something, a notion that had eluded me all my life, and something that would haunt and taunt me for years. Finally, I was one of the group, and it was us against the buying world. Our weapons were charm and grace and poise under pressure. Our enemies were the hapless, selfish, and ignorant consumers – the ones who expected you to find a suit that shaved fifty pounds from their body and was on sale for 120% off. We fought this common enemy by doing our damnedest to bring them comfort and joy. It was a delicate and often difficult balancing act, but I genuinely think we were all buoyed by the Christmas spirit.

Some did complain, but secretly I thrilled at where I was and what I got to go. Working at a clothing store was a gay boy’s dream come true. It was where I cut my fashion teeth, and how I learned about the evils of pleated pants firsthand. It was also located in the heart of Boston, fulfilling a lifelong dream. When I was a little boy, we’d occasionally visit Faneuil Hall just after the holidays. We were on vacation and the decorations were still up, so I have fond memories of that holiday glow, the bustling food hall, and the rows of bull markets lining the cobblestone paths. Those memories were joined with the new ones I made during my holiday seasons at Structure. I was on the inside looking out, at last.

Both sides were pretty cool at Christmas.

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Shirtless Santa: Pietro Boselli

Stunning math-teacher-turned-model Pietro Boselli is selling more goods without the Santa suit, and since we’re in the season of giving, here is a gift to anyone who appreciates some cheeky male beauty. Mr. Boselli was recently posing without a shred of stitches here, without a shirt here, and in his underwear here. All are worth a revisit.

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When Winter Has Come

We turn the seasonal page to winter, because the sooner we start it the sooner it will end. With all of our cold weather of the past few weeks we should have had time to prepare, but it’s still a sad, bleak dirge until the promise of spring. During such time, I find it best to focus on beauty. Stillness. Peace. Winter carries its own enchantment and charm, it’s just less flashy, more somber. Its color palette is limited, but that also means it’s a little calmer. It demands a more refined viewing, where an appreciation of slight nuances and delicately-shaded textures reveals layers of previously-unrealized prettiness.

There are days of blue sky too, often in the aftermath of a snowstorm, when the sun reflects off all the snow and the world is brighter than any summer day. These are the unexpected delights of the season. Little jewels among the wreckage. Let’s see what else we might find…

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In the Wake of Children

Scene: 3 AM, on a squeaky pull-out bed in the living room of the condo, Kira is coughing next to me. The street light from Braddock Park spills in through the high windows, and my body is rebelling against such sleeping conditions at such an advanced age. My mind races to decipher the unlikely predicament in which I find myself, and a Christmas song plays quietly on the stereo. How did we ever get here? I haven’t been this disoriented in the condo since the party days of my youth, following a holiday get-together that found various friends strewn about the place, groggily waking in various states of togetherness.

On this morning, Chris and his four-year-old slept soundly in the queen bed of the bedroom. Kira had insisted we give it up after the boy went in early and we stayed up to talk. Now we were stuck on the wire-springs of the pull-out couch, not getting any quality sleep, and doing our best to stay warm. Another coughing fit woke Kira, so I got up and put on some tea; she swears that a hot cup of the stuff, along with some honey and cinnamon, quells any cough. I poured her a mug, then dove back under the heavy winter blanket and prayed for sleep to return.

Sleep did not return until the baby was already up, but he stayed in the bedroom peacefully occupied with headphones and a cartoon while his Daddy slept. I was in no rush to move, so we stole a few more moments of fitful shut-eye before finally giving up the ghost of meaningful rest.

Kira and I rose, and eventually everyone joined us so we could head off to brunch. The day was brilliant – sunny with blue skies – and after brunch we saw Kristen and Julia off, then Chris wanted to take Simon to Harvard. There’s something very touching about a father showing off his Alma Mater to his son.

Thanks to the Red Line issues on December weekends, Kira and I had foregone what had become a favorite component of our Holiday Stroll: a trip to Cambridge. We hopped in the car Chris ordered and averted any T snafus, thus enabling us to keep the tradition alive. We would be able to browse the shops between Harvard and Porter Squares after all.

On good days, the universe will deliver an unexpected gift to those of us who may have thought such a delight had passed. On that morning, we arrived in Cambridge, bid adieu to the last child of the Boston Children’s Holiday Hour (which had somehow lengthened into a weekend), and Kira and I set off in the direction of Porter Square.

We stopped in our usual haunts, then had a final pho meal to close out the weekend – a neat little bookend to mirror the start of the whole thing. I reminded Kira of how our soup time on Friday had kicked it all off, and how we would look back at its quiet and calm with fondness when things were hectic and crazy. We had a second moment of similar quietude now, and embraced it. We lingered there, not wanting to go back to our real lives just yet, trying instead to stretch Sunday just a little longer. It turned out that our Boston holiday adventures were not quite over for the year.

Ever since she returned from Florida to the winterscape of Boston, Kira has been wanting to go ice skating. Still traumatized from an ice skating incident at Schenectady when I was a child, I’ve always politely encouraged her to do so, with someone else. On our first few holiday strolls, we would somehow end up passing a make-shift skating rink, where people were giddily gliding by, enticing Kira with their fluid motion and seemingly-easy turns on the ice.

I was never fooled.

On our most recent holiday excursion, we passed a rink at Government Center. Entranced, Kira watched the skaters go by, while I looked around for some sort of hot toddy stand (to no avail). We didn’t get into the skates then, and I thought we had escaped the scene for the season.

After making our way to the Red Line, knowing we would need to shuttle-bus it beyond Kendall, we did that damn thing and rode the bus to Charles MGH, where we hopped off and took a leisurely walk along the antique stores and gift shops near Beacon Hill. The best holiday strolls are the impromptu and unplanned ones. We crossed into the Boston Public Garden, and the little pond in the middle had not been drained. A thick layer of smooth ice lay darkly and expansively before us, and a few people rushed by on skates, and off them. Kira squealed with delight, and I knew this was her destiny. She hastened onto the ice, carefully sliding along in her sneakers and begging me to take a picture. She beckoned me to join her, but when I looked at the edge, I could see water coming up through cracks in the ice, and the thought of crashing through and having to walk all the way home in freezing wet shoes kept me off of it. Kira didn’t mind – she took a few spins and had her ice skating moment.

We crossed the bridge and looked at the lights beginning to come out as the sky dimmed. It was a perfect holiday afternoon, and a lovely end to our holiday weekend. We traveled along Newbury for a bit then crossed over to Boylston. At the Lenox, we paused for a fireside break and one last moment of peace and holiday contemplation.

That night, I would return to my quiet life: a still house, a Christmas tree that Andy had installed while I was away, and a comfortable bed. 

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The 3rd Annual Boston Children’s Holiday Hour(s) – Part 2

‘Christmas in a Glass’ is Jamie Oliver’s nickname for his mulled wine recipe, and if it’s good enough for The Naked Chef, it’s good enough for me. It’s certainly fine for staving off a cold December day and warming the cockles of the heart in seasonal jubilation. And when your child is drinking hot chocolate and eating fifty marshmallows before devouring a chocolate spoon, you need a little something to take the edge off.

I’d combined the dry ingredients with the sugar for a couple of days beforehand (making for an easier traveling plan) and the white granules got to soak in all the fragrance and flavor from the freshly-spliced vanilla bean, freshly-ground nutmeg, cinnamon stick, bay leaves and star anise. That alone was heavenly, but when you added the peels of clementines, a lemon and a lime, it was better than a Yankee Candle.

I loved the idea of being the warming stop after a day of Boston exploration, and the condo has always been a cozy place perfect for just such a scenario. Our little guests began arriving, and Suzie volunteered to pick up some last minute food provisions (I provide the hot drinks and fancy footwear – the rest is always up in the air).

(The family that wears the same coats together, stays together.)

As the hours passed, the hot chocolate was devoured, holiday hedgehogs were crafted, Christmas crackers were pulled open with a pop, and the kids made up a game that involved running between rooms. It was the most raucous the condo had been in some time and I was grateful to have had the foresight to invite the twinfants in the condo below to visit at any time. (The key to any party where you don’t want the police called prematurely.)

The light outside went down, while inside the condo candles flickered, Christmas music played, and the sounds of children screaming with laughter (and the occasional bump) filled the normally silent space. At the end of it (and it was a good five-hour stretch) I was drained but giddy with their infectious seasonal excitement. That’s the real reason for the season.

We’d survived another Boston Children’s Holiday Hour, and I was better for it.

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The 3rd Annual Boston Children’s Holiday Hour(s) – Part 1

Despite all outward appearances to the contrary, I lead a largely quiet and calm life. Whatever anyone else makes of my social media shenanigans and website outrageousness, however outlandish my outfits or accessories may get, my day-to-day existence is a rather peaceful one. (That’s the beauty of an outlet like this – I save all the drama for this space and work it out through words and self-analysis, so the rest of my life can sail by relatively uneventfully.)

For my possibly-annual Boston Children’s Holiday Hour, however, I suspend that quiet life for an afternoon of holiday mayhem and celebration and invite the growing cadre of children in my friends’ orbit over for hot chocolate and revelry. Their parents are in tow, so we offer grown-up libations for them, and then before I reach the end of my fraying rope of sanity, we order dinner in, appease the hangry bellies, and send everyone off in more-or-less satiated form. Mostly, though, it nourishes my faith in humanity. My friends are raising some amazing children, and it’s a wonderful thing to watch them interact at this time of the year.

To pull it off, however, requires some planning and preparation – my two favorite things. I did not have to do it alone, thankfully, as Kira stayed around for the whole thing, starting with some preparation the night before, in the form of this holiday libation. Things just run smoother when gin is involved.

The first task, one I had executed a couple of weeks ago, was to find a gift for each child. This is not really a big deal, and I stumbled inadvertently upon a hot-ticket item for kids, or so I’ve been told: magic sequins. I’ve been wearing sequins for years, so I’m not sure why they’re suddenly all the rage, but hey, anytime the drag queens can reach a youthful audience it’s a good thing. (They would also match my shoes for the evening so it worked on every level.)

Then there were the crafts/toys that needed to be on hand to occupy their time while the adults mingled over mulled wine and other things. A holiday hedgehog kit works wonders for such a task (though I warn any novice child-herders to make note of the fine print – you’re going to need glue, glue sticks, scissors, markers, string, a strand of magic beans, and some other nonsense to make full use of the not-so-all-inclusive-$20 ‘kit’, most of which an adult condo in Boston is lacking). I also procured a dozen holiday gift ‘crackers’, the kind you pull apart to release a plastic piece of crap (a yo-yo or protractor or tissue-paper crown for example).

Finishing the scene were the ingredients and accoutrements for the libations. Citrus, spices, and cinnamon sticks for the mulled wine; chocolate mix, mini-marshmallows and chocolate spoons for the hot chocolate.

Kira and I went to bed watching Lidia Bastianich make a plum gnocchi dish, then fell asleep to the first part of ‘Love Actually’.

The next day we finished up our Christmas shopping and took the T to Chinatown for a bowl of pho before the festivities. As we sat there sipping our soup and stirring in the sriracha sauce, I remarked that we needed to enjoy the calm before the storm. In a few hours there would be kids and sugar, and the riotous excitement that the season brings. I also said we may end up looking back at that moment and realizing it was one of the best of the weekend. She laughed it all off. Having raised two girls of her own, she was looking forward to witnessing Uncle Alan woefully out of his element. We finished our soup and hurried out.

The children were coming…

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Solstice of Winter

On this, the first day of winter, the shortest day of the year, the Winter Solstice, I give you a flock of birds, tossed in the blue sky and set free to fly. Let it be a happy harbinger of the sleepy season. Let it bring good luck and warmth and cozy memories to see us through the longest and darkest nights. Most of all, let it be beautiful and calming, and please God let it be quick. 

Winter can be a wonderful time. It gets a bad rap. I’ve talked some serious shit about it in the past. May this year bring about a sincere truce. The world needs a little more healing right now. 

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Break It Off

I’ve taken mini social media breaks before, and one big happy blogging break last summer, and I find myself contemplating similar motions of late. It’s just too upsetting and bothersome sometimes, and at such times it’s good to be reminded that this is all a choice. I’ve long maintained that social media is what you make of it. It doesn’t so much create you as reflect an abstract notion of who you are. If you keep it light and not too serious, it can be a fun and enjoyable way to pass time. 

Yet I find myself being drawn into the toxic tweets and Facebook fights and it’s bleeding into my real life because when you are subjected to so much of it how can it not? That’s when I knew it was time to pull back. 

With all the Net Neutrality nonsense swirling around, the idea that we may have to pay for Facebook or Twitter or Instagram may be a silver-lined cloud. I don’t intend to pay for any of that nonsense, and if suddenly we had to it would be the ultimate sign to let it all go. I’m cool with that, despite what my outsize social media presence might convey. 

Those who know me and know me well realize it’s the truth. My real life happens offline, every moment, every day, and it’s so much richer and more fascinating and exciting than anything I could type or try to describe in photos or blog posts or a mother-fucking tweet. 

The point here is that if suddenly I decide to disappear on any of those social media platforms or this blog itself, fear not. I’ll still be living and creating and loving – and if you’re part of my world you’ll know how to reach me. 

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Post Children’s Hour Recap

Having spent the weekend in Boston for the Children’s Holiday Hour, I’m still recovering and recuperating, so this recap will have to do the work until I’m upright again. 

The week began with the bodacious Ben Cohen in his underwear

A new anthem. 

A shirtless and wet Henry Cavill

Snow party.

Holiday punch with pizzazz.

The Ilagan brothers go tree-shopping. 

Sky geese.

Luke Evans in, and out, of his underwear. 

Christmas recap within a recap. 

Hunks of the Day included Jordie CaskeyKeo MotsepeMikael Daez, Tristan Cole, and Austin Wallis

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A Week Before Christmas

Have you been naughty or nice? 

I’ve done my best, and that’s all anyone can do. The holiday spirit got to me early, and it’s been a more or less fun season thus far. (I write this a few days in advance of today, so who knows what state of frazzled holiday mind I’ll be in by the time it goes live…) But a few fun posts have already hinted at the Christmas good-will I’m doing my best to embrace. 

There was the Holiday Card 2017, a subdued but sparkling affair that everyone loved (yawn). I’ll return to the fun next year… maybe.

There was the Holiday Stroll with my friend Kira, as we’ve done more than a few times before. 

There was this happy highball holiday memory

And there was this mad beginning to the festivities

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A Little More Luke Evans

He made a big blue splash here in a Speedo by the ocean, and also won the coveted Hunk of the Day honor, so we’re bringing Luke Evans back with this quick Sunday post. A lull in your early Sunday afternoon is a reminder that there’s still a little more fun to be had before another weekend retires. 

 

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Geese in the Sky

The wavy ‘V’-shaped formation undulated slightly in the sky as the sun began its descent for the day, then broke up completely in the high winds. The geese will find their way back into their iconic traveling pattern, in whatever mystical method it happens. This is the sky just before winter arrives. 

Draining itself of light and color, it will soon grow gray and bleak, mottled with clouds high and low, streaky cirrus or cottony cumulus, and then we will wait it out until spring returns. 

The geese, far wiser than us silly humans, will spend their winter in warmer climes. The older I get, the better that sounds. 

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Retro Holiday Punch With Pizzazz

It was a punch that was present at most of our childhood holiday gatherings. The Ko House always seemed to have a bottomless crystal punch bowl in which a fancy ice ring floated, keeping things cool from the very start of a long Christmas Day all the way through to the evening. At various times the pack of us kids would travel by and dip the ladle in to grab a few more drops of sugary sustenance, dodging adults and disappearing into the background, or so we hoped. 

This year I brought back the holiday punch, with a couple of twists. It came about out of necessity, as Andy notified me we had an entire box of Orange Dry soda. In the punch of my childhood, ginger ale formed the effervescent fizz, so the Orange Dry seemed a suitable adult substitution. It also blunted the sweetness, which I did my best to avoid (but really, a punch is designed to be sweet, to go down smoothly). 

The tartness was accomplished by a frozen pink lemonade. The current generation isn’t as familiar with frozen concentrate, and I’m not all that different, but for some reason it works in this recipe. I whipped up a batch of the lemonade, and poured a few overflowing cups of it into a bundt pan, sprinkled in a healthy pile of fresh pomegranate seeds and raspberries, then froze it overnight for the fancy ice ring. I also put a bottle of vodka into the freezer (or leave it outside if there’s no room) to cool that down too. 

Right before guests arrived, I mixed the pink lemonade, 6 or 7 cans of Orange Dry, a few cups of vodka and a cup or so of triple sec (it’s a big punch for a big bowl), then scooped some orange sherbet on top of it all. The ice ring, knocked loose with some hot water and careful maneuvering by Suzie, floated in the middle of it all. 

It wasn’t quite the same as the innocent punch of our youth, but it was close. Its spirit was intact. The memories it conjured were warm and fuzzy. That’s the best one can conjure the older we get. 

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The Ilagan Bros. Holiday Tradition

It was one of the moments that brought my brother and I back together after adolescent turmoil and trouble: our trip to pick up the family Christmas tree. In high school we went our own ways, about as far apart as two brothers could go, but by the time I was spending most of my year at Brandeis, we had grown up a little and were ready to become friends. On an unplanned whim, we both volunteered to go pick up the tree in the mid-to-late 90’s. I still remember the drive, on a bright but wildly windy day, and the twins still ask me to tell the story of how the tree fell off the car before we even got home. 

That story came up again, after we picked out the tree (and by we I mean Noah and Emi) and had secured a table by the fire at our old stomping ground the Cock & Bull.

On the ride over, we passed the frozen pond that I drove by on all my oboe lessons. The kids studied their spelling words, and my brother and I searched for Christmas music on the radio. 

It was a warm tradition still intact, and I asked the twins to tell us some of their stories. At seven they claimed they didn’t have any, but we all recalled the night Emi went backwards in her chair when we picked up a tree a few years ago. They will have more, much more, to tell one day. They have only just begun. 

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The Snow Came Early

It’s our fault.

Really, it is.

Any time Andy and I plan a party there is some sort of weather event, so our holiday gathering this year resulted in that pesky snowfall of last Saturday that saw so many accidents. Usually we just bring the rain and wind for our summer parties, but it seems we can conjure the snow as well.

It did make for a more festive scene, however, and one can’t stay mad at such beauty. It fell into the night, and on the following morning the world was lit up in the magical way that only snow can create…

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