Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

This is like the junk drawer.

You rely on the junk drawer far more than you realize.

There are sequins in my junk drawer.

What’s in yours?

#TinyThreads

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Way Past Due for a New Project

Emotionally, I do much better whenever I’m working on a creative project. (That may explain my pissy mood of the past three years, which is the length of time since my last project.) The labor of love that was ‘The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star‘ is up in its entirety on The Projects page of this website. Check it out and bookmark it for later, because that’s where a new project will be posted by (fingers-crossed) November 2018. That means I’ve been creatively sated for the time being, and now it’s time for all the fun promotional stuff.

I’m not going to lie, there’s a bit of bait-and-switch on the way regarding the promotional images about to be posted and the actual content of the project itself. That makes it more intriguing though, so stay tuned for what’s to come…

In the meantime I invite you to check out previous projects below:

StoneLight

The Circus Project

A Night at the Hotel Chelsea

A 21st Century Renaissance: The Resurrection Tour

Bardo: The Dream Surreal

The Delusional Grandeur Tour: Last Stand of a Rock Star

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Simon Says Sexy

It’s been far too long since we’ve had a properly gratuitous Simon Dunn post, so let this go some way toward rectifying that. Mr. Dunn, as you may likely remember because who can forget such hotness, made a splash as an openly gay Olympic bobsledder. Currently, he’s a trainer in London and does all sorts of fun, and often thankfully shirtless, extracurricular activities. Here are a few shots that have appeared on his wildly popular Instagram page.

He works hard for his money-maker body, and inspires his clients to do the same. Even from halfway around the globe, he’s proven to be an inspiration to others, as evidenced by such naked teases as seen here. (If you’re lucky enough to live in London, you might even be able to score a training session with him.) His first Hunk of the Day crowning put him on this website’s radar, and ever since then he’s offered tantalizing glimpses of treasure trails and the like in posts like this. Soon after that first HOD, he earned a second one, and now stands to join the rarefied Threesome Club if and when he gets around to winning a third. (He’s probably just one naked photo shoot and interview away from getting that glorious triumvirate.) Until then, this post will have to suffice and tide over his fans.

{Check out his website here, where you can schedule your own personal training session in London.}

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

Parting words of the Price Chopper cashier: “No gas. No savings.”

Parting words of my moody-ass self: “No shit.”

#TinyThreads

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The Monster Bash

A month from today – October 26, 2018 – the BOO-jolais Monster Ball will roar into the Albany Capital Center for the annual BOO-jolais Wine Celebration to benefit the Alliance for Positive Health. It’s one of my favorite parties of the year, as much for the cause as for the fabulous collection of attendees it draws, some of whom I’ve known for as long as I’ve known Andy. It’s also one of the best nights to dress up, and this year’s Monster theme gives a whole new slew of sartorial possibilities. A monster can be many things, which gives me some wonderful ideas. (I’m told there may be a prize for the best monster costume, so go all out.) Here’s the official invite:

Calling all werewolves, witches and other frightful creatures of the night to the BOO-jolais Monster Ball. BEWARE! A great time awaits you at the season’s premier Halloween event. Dress as your favorite monster and you just may win a prize. Feed the hungry beast within with a decadent selection of food samplings from local restaurants and caterers, and complimentary wine tastings. Bask in the fun of live entertainment from Grand Central Station, dancing, a silent auction and much more!

{To purchase your ticket(s), visit allianceforpositivehealth.org or directly at this link, or call 518.434.4686.}

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

The sky is at its bluest in September.

It saves its best for last.

#TinyThreads

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Hello From Tuesday Morning

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on Tuesday.

Give me a bit to get back into the groove. (I’ll let you prove your love to me.)

Tuesdays were always worse than Mondays when I was a kid, mostly because of Religion class that extended the day for an extra hour of Catholic chaos. At 2 PM we’d ride the bus to the old St. Mary’s school, and walk into a dusty room where everything – the carpet, the walls, even the chalkboard – felt frozen in an amber glow of outdated travesty. An ancient copier was put to further shame thanks to the pile of copied prayers – a hand-written version of the ‘Act of Contrition’ on the weird paper where if you scratched the print with your fingernail it would come off in the most grating and upsetting fashion – a variation of fingernails on the chalkboard.

We went through prayers and Bible stories as the sun moved slowly across the floor. I remember watching the dust fall through the sunbeams as the minutes slowed in excruciating fashion. Sometimes when the teacher left, the boy behind me would kick my chair, then look around with a stupid grin when I turned around. From an early age, I found religion to have an inescapable air of torture to it. While a nun headed up the program, it was usually a student’s mother who did the actual teaching. I was too young to understand that my (and others’) non-enjoyment of the classes might have been due to the poor field of candidates from which the church chose to appoint as teachers. Not that there were any cruel or mean ones – these were Catholic people for Christ’s sake – but there’s a different kind of menace that comes from supposedly-well-meaning people.

I was never a badly-behaved child, and most of those teachers doted on me since they knew my parents. That didn’t ease the drudgery of having to stay in a dull and dank classroom while our sinful, non-Catholic counterparts got to run outside and play. It ruined religion for me, even more than being forced to be an altar boy a few years later, but it also ruined Tuesdays.

I don’t suppose this post has helped anyone as far as the latter goes.

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Cosmos Past, Cosmos Present

The dusty town of Hoosick Falls is where my grandmother was born and raised, and in which she spent about 80 years of her life. When we were old enough to stay on our own, my brother and I were each allotted a couple of days each summer to spend with her, and they were golden memories that remain woven in my heart. Summers were hot and humid then, but I was young enough not to mind. Gram had a couple of fans that oscillated near the windows at night, when I was camped out on a gorgeous green tufted velvet sofa.

This was the second apartment I would know in Hoosick Falls. The first, scene of childhood Easters, was right near the railroad. The train would charge through and shake the entire house – a thrill to us children, especially in the middle of the night. All Gram’s music boxes and whimsical tchotchkes would rattle and clink, while my brother and I would pretend an earthquake was rocking the land like some cheap ratings ploy on ‘Our House’.

In her second apartment, we were far from the railroad, but at the bottom of the main street that came into town. It was the home of a retired doctor, though ‘doctor’ meant variable things in my grandmother’s day. He was an irascible old man, who sometimes rubbed Gram the wrong way, but it was a decent enough space, so she stayed there for a number of years. I remember the summer most in that space.

We would spend the day walking the block or two into the main stretch of town – where the antique store was, and the old drugstore, and the church that Mom made sure we attended if we happened to be there on a Sunday morning. Gram would have taken us anyway; the way she constantly worried her rosary was a continual reminder of her Catholic faith and fears. Just up the street was where my Mom had attended Catholic school.

We would walk to see Gram’s relatives and friends, and on shopping days we would travel quite a distance to get to the Grand Union, which was over a bridge and across a busy stretch of road and I always marveled how she did it in the winter. We took things slow in the summer, happily settling into a routine of daytime television, a daily excursion, and then a homecooked dinner or meal at a relative’s. Mostly, though, I remember short walks around her house, and the little patch of dry dirt bordered by a worn wooden fence where a small stretch of pink cosmos rose and gave glad tidings to those of us lucky enough to pass. Occasionally the doctor would be nearby, waiting in the shade and watching, and as much as I distrusted him (I would always side with Gram in all her personality conflicts and peccadilloes), he was kind enough to me. Not all adults were so inclined.

I brushed by the feathery leaves of the cosmos, and peered into the happy yellow center of each vibrant pink bloom, while overhead the sun beat down and the sky was light blue and the world seemed to stop for a moment. Like the goodness that was an endless summer, so too was my grandmother, whose love knew no bounds, and who could be counted on to give her grandchildren the childhood she had rebuilt in her memory. Her past was painted over in shades of rose and pink, as if she had uncovered the secret to making a summer in Hoosick Falls no less beautiful than the perfect patch of cosmos around the corner.

This summer, I planted cosmos for the first time in a long while. They didn’t come up as well as I remember those from my grandmother’s place. Maybe the soil was too rich and damp. Maybe they liked it dry and unwelcoming. A bit of hardship to make them feel alive. Like my Gram, they were survivors, and had no need for the pampering and care I so badly wanted to provide. Yet I managed to coax a single bloom from the packet of seeds I’d scattered and raked gently into the soil back in the spring. It winked at me like a Grandmother might, then went on its way being pretty just for the sake of being pretty.

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Return of the Monday Recap, Fall-Wise

You may be noticing a slight change in our posting schedule right about now. Last year when I came back from my first summer sabbatical, I took off two days – Tuesday and Wednesday – in the middle of the work week. But those days are tough enough, why should I make anyone suffer more by denying you fresh content and entries when this is my joy as well? That means we are returning to our original daily programming, with a slight twist.

Given that I have more job responsibilities, and that by the time I get home I’m pretty much spent (especially on those nights when I have to cook myself dinner – God how I wish Andy could work his culinary magic with fish) I am not going to promise long-winded or exceptionally meaningful words, but rather punchy, smaller entries that are just as good as hanging out with me over a glass of wine. (Minus all the nasty judgment of your clothing!) But I still like the idea of a Monday where the main posting may be spent ruminating over what came before, so we’re going to keep the Monday recap for the start of the week, then return a bit later in the day for the whole thing to start up again. This first one is going to be shorter, since we only just returned on Thursday and how much can you expect to happen in a weekend? Stick with me, kid, and I’ll show you.

It began with a trio of return posts: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3

I like a banana

A new Tom Ford for a new season: Fougere D’Argent

A tale of two brothers.

The newest feature is a tiny little thing

Beginning with my rear end

Still dreaming of Madonna.

Summer Speedos and such. 

 

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Speedo Catch-up/Catch-all

Summer is traditionally the time when the guys and gals get all naked. Since this website went dark during that sunny season, however, we lost a look at some of the Speedos that were donned. Let’s do a little retroactive Speedo search and see who got in (and out of) their banana hammocks. (And a few who didn’t deign to show off their bulge but were too cute not to include.)

First up is Nyle DiMarco, who has made a few splashes here in his almost-altogether. He gets his cocktail on by the sea in these shots, recalling the glory that is summer. 

Next is a pair of hunks who merge two of my favorite passions: dancing and nature. Check out Bear Grylls and Derek Hough in one of Bear’s underwear adventures. They made it through the wilderness. 

Getting his splash on is Matthew Wilkas, because when you’re that hot you need to find ways to cool down. 

Sometimes naked arms are enough when the rest of you is as super as Henry Cavill. And if you’re Ben Cohen sometimes all you have to do is smile. 

Two words: David Beckham. He may not be wearing a Speedo here, but he gets a pass because he wore one here

A double dose of Ricky Martin in his Speedo is always a summer treat. He’s done it before, and with any luck he’ll do it again. 

Strutting into the Big Brother house like a peacock, Dan Osborne does some impressive bulge work as per usual. Some may think he looks better naked, so make your own comparisons with this nude Dan Osborne post

Opening his arms and flexing his pecs, Jake Quickenden personifies summer glory. 

Finally, Pietro Boselli is too big for one GIF, so here he is in three. There’s no one better to bring up the rear, especially when it’s Pietro Boselli’s bare-naked butt

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

Say what you may about Cynthia Rowley, she knows how to design office supplies. She provides the pizzazz that adds some sparkle to my office space. A bright spot of color in a sea of gray.

#TinyThreads

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Madonna Dreams

This summer, I had a dream about Madonna. As much as I love her, this was maybe only my third or fourth actual dream about her. In it, we were finding our way through an old warehouse. Boxes of all my Madonna memorabilia were stacked all around, but they were rotting. A pile of pulpy mush was topped with her ‘Sex’ book: the aluminum covers and spiral binding the only things that remained intact from that cantankerous career period that remained such a favorite with die-hard fans like myself. She was walking through barely glancing at my collection, mostly because she was with her family, and I felt like I was encroaching. Yet somehow she didn’t mind my following along.

She spoke quietly to her children, in a gentle fashion slightly at odds with the brash persona she so often peddles in public life and artistic projects. She also spoke a bit to me, and I tried to sound like a human being in spite of my star-struck awe, while still conveying how much of a devoted lifelong fan I was. Friends have asked me what I would even say to her if I had the chance to meet her, and I still have no idea. It’s so far from the realm of possibility, I never bothered to entertain such a dream. Here, in an actual dream, I must have said something she liked, because she kept speaking to me as we walked through a dirty warehouse littered with the products of her artistic past. It made me giddy to realize it was my past as well, and somehow, after all these years, I could see that we were intertwined, in the way that her artistic output intertwined with all of her fans. We shared something that way. Isn’t that the purpose of art?

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Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series

Let’s begin this silly new feature with an end.

My end.

It’s all behind me now.

#TinyThreads

 

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Bits & Baubles: #TinyThreads

Good things come in small packages. Some might disagree, but there’s something to that adage. That’s also going to be the guiding force for some upcoming posts, and a new feature that will hopefully be a regular one (famous last words). In my time off, I did some website-soul-searching. Most of the sites that I’ve visited over the past few months (there haven’t been that many) feature posts that are punchy, quick, and far less substantial than the 1000 word essays I tend to put up here. My rambling knows no character limits. That’s all well and good for a creative outlet, but it does take some work and effort and time. As my home and career responsibilities increase (as they tend to do as we get older) I find myself less able to keep up the pace I once had. There’s also no one forcing my hand, so I can do what I want to do on this site. (Check the damn name.) That said, silly filler and fanciful fluff is on the way, darlings! Watch for the new ‘Tiny Threads: An Insignificant Series’ feature for all the fierce frivolity.

#TinyThreads

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J & C: A Tale of Two Brothers

He stood at the edge of the yard, rather a long distance away. Arms crossed in front of him, his eyes squinting into the high sun of noon, he seemed determined. Sometimes, even on sunny summer days, the hardest thing to be is a boy. As the initial minutes of our visit wore on, he got closer to the house, until he was peering in, watching us and waiting for the right moment to enter.

The last time I’d seen Julian he was barely able to walk, much less speak. Now he was a boy, walking and talking and, as he would show us later, mastering the ukulele. His Mom is one of my closest friends, whom I’ve known since I can remember, having met her at Suzie’s birthday parties in the Junes of our childhood. There’s a bond that a childhood friendship carries that is like no other, and in many ways it is as unbreakable as the bonds of family. Sometimes more. As her son Julian walked in and sheepishly said hello, I was flooded with memory, happiness and warmth. 

His younger brother Cameron hid behind Mommy for a while, with a shy but irrepressible smile across his face. He would break into giggles periodically and I hoped his happiness would last. I think that should be the goal of all the world: keeping that childhood happiness for as long as possible. The lucky ones among us never lose it. Most of us do at some point, then spend the rest of our lives trying to get it back, with varying degrees of success. Or maybe I’m just conflating happiness with innocence. They are both too often fleeting, as was our visit to Connecticut.

The days were idyllic. It was hot and sunny – perfect for some time in and beside the pool. The house lent itself to easy relaxation, with its large windows and airy layout. Still new enough to be uncluttered, and lived-in enough to be comfortable, it was the perfect backdrop to a reunion with friends we hadn’t seen in far too long. On our way in, a swath of evening primrose lifted their bright canary faces next to the brick walkway. Nearer the front door, a clump of shasta daisies was at the height of its bloom, as if welcoming us with its greatest finery. Behind them, waves of shrubs softened the long lines of the house. Everything whispered ‘home’ and erased the recent bout of traffic we had to endure to get there. More than an oasis, this was a very real realm of respite, and as the door closed behind us, so did the troubles of the world.

We enjoyed our brief time there immensely; it was exactly what Andy and I needed to start the summer off, and I’m hopeful we left a little something behind too (besides the proliferation of feathers that remains the tell-tale sign of a visit). We’d been warned that Julian would ask a million questions, but the inquisitive nature of children was never an annoyance to me. Quite the contrary: seeing that insatiable curiosity, when one question leads to another, as if he already understood that the process of getting to knowledge was its own fulfilling journey, was a balm on my own soul, a reminder of another kid who had nothing but questions and a world unwilling to be bothered.

As for his fabulous younger brother Cameron, there were other happy reminders of my childhood mirrored in him. He liked feathers and sequins and all sorts of fancy items that lend magic to an unadorned summer day. He liked dressing up and expressing himself in costume and theatrics. He was on the verge of being exactly who he was meant to be, and yet also on the verge of drawing back into himself.

No matter what the rest of their lives brought, they had this summer – the first time in their pool, the first time in those pink pumps, and the first time we got to visit them. I know a thing or two about brothers, especially brothers who are dramatically different in so many ways. Brotherly love is almost unbreakable, but it doesn’t happen without tensions and traumas. Still, it’s best to dwell on days like this, when your brother is your best friend.

No one else will go through the exact same things you go through.

No one else in the world will experience the exact same basic upbringing, remember the same house, the same worries, the same resentments, the same triumphs, the same love.

I hope they hold onto that above all else. Not everyone does.

By the time we were reluctantly ready to leave, Julian was willing to sing us a song. It encapsulated our time there, and in many ways our entire summer.

{Check out Julian’s other videos here.}

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