A Wonky & Wayward Moment

The past week has felt wonky and weird, and every time I’ve gone out anywhere the roads have been filled with madness and drivers making very questionable decisions. I’ve felt it in stores and restaurants too, almost to the point where I’ve looked around to see if Candid Camera was still operating from some 80’s time capsule. It felt that extreme, and I couldn’t understand why since we’ve already had a full moon.

Then someone posted that Mercury is again in retrograde, and will be until April 25. 

Well fuckety-fuck we are oh-so-fucked.

Knowing that, however, alleviates some of the anxiety that a world suddenly gaslighting me had put into my head. It’s not that the whole world has conspired against me – it’s just Mercury in retrograde! This isn’t your fault, this isn’t my fault – this is Mercury’s fault! And now that we know, we can embrace these little attacks and brush them off with customary nonchalance. 

Enjoy the roller coaster ride until April 25 my friends! 

Here, have a bouquet of peony tulips to ease the trauma.

Continue reading ...

#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

“He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.” ~ George Eliot

This is not about me.

#TinyThreads

Continue reading ...

A Downtrodden April Recap

Without any full-frontal April Fool’s shenanigans, this weekly recap finds us looking back at a week that still felt very much like winter, with a snowstorm that felled some of the most stalwart of souls, as evidenced quite plainly in the below photo of a downtrodden daffodil. Best to put all of that to rest and look ahead to brighter days…

It all began with a cake-pop, which gave more hope than the week ever delivered.

The Worm Moon reared its full-blown head, though no earthworms were to be found.

Precious cargo indeed.

‘Boy Culture’, helmed by the magnificent Matthew Rettenmund, is still my go-to-site for gay culture. 

Sometimes the best option for the day is one that cannot be accessed. That’s when you have to make smaller choices.

Snow in spring is complete and utter bullshit.

Cry more, kids.

A musical post for the dark spring nights, not the bright spring mornings.

Our family Easter parade.

As I’m finalizing reservations for our wedding anniversary weekend in Boston, a choice of two gift ideas.

Dazzlers of the Day included Jeremy JordanEva NoblezadaAli Louis Bourzgui, and Jeremy Gloff.

Continue reading ...

A Reach & A Possibility for an Anniversary Gift

Our wedding anniversary trip to Boston takes place a few days earlier than usual this year, thanks to the way the calendar falls, and in anticipation for that here’s a very short wish-list, starting with an exquisite Movado watch in purple and lavender. At $395, it’s one of the less-expensive offerings from that esteemed watch house, but that’s still way too much for an anniversary gift (this is our 14th, so we’ll go bigger next year) and our funding is less than ideal with home improvements and car upgrades. 

Instead, I’m really hoping for a more reasonable bottle of cologne that just went on a super-sale here. It’s the 1.7 oz. selection of ‘Carnal Flower’ – a polarizing scent that I first smelled on an elegant woman at the Quill bar in Washington, DC on a trip with Suzie. She sat down beside us and I was so entranced by the way it worked on her that I got over any shyness and asked her what perfume she was wearing. She told us in a shy voice, perhaps not entirely comfortable with the ‘Carnal’ reference – which is precisely at odds with the attitude you need to pull this off. After 48 years on earth, I’ve learned and earned that attitude.

This bottle of ‘Carnal Flower’ is what I’m hoping Andy will order early (while it’s on sale) and bring to Boston so it can form a new olfactory memory from an anniversary escape I’m currently planning…

PS – I wouldn’t say no to this gloriously-garish cocktail ring either, in size 10… 

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Jeremy Gloff

Fellow Madonna fans hold a special place in my heart, and when they are dazzling in their own right, that makes them all the more captivating. Case in point is our Dazzler of the Day, Jeremy Gloff, whose take on the Madonna Celebration Tour encapsulates what so many of her lifelong fans felt when seeing the show. This alone would merit a crowning as Dazzler – Gloff also has the multi-talented Renaissance-man act down pat, having paved his way as a singer, songwriter, performance artist and advice columnist. A long list of albums (from 1993’s True Stories’ to 2016’s ‘Those Who Survived’) testify to his legacy, including his electro-homage to the 80’s ~ ‘1987’. Most heartwarming is his recent look-back over his love affair with Madonna – a love-affair that Madonna fans should find resonant and affirming. Check it out below, then say hello to him on Instagram or FaceBook or YouTube.

It’s taken me two days to process and recover from the Madonna concert.
I have a heart that’s prone to melancholy and nostalgia and I found myself sad the morning of the show because it was so close to happening then being over. I felt like it might be one of the best nights of my life…and it was. The evening approached with equal anticipation and dread. To be in my Gloft in Tampa at a Madonna concert with so many of my best friends and loved ones is my happiest of happy places… (I rent out a private loft for concerts that fits 50 loved ones and it’s been dubbed “The Gloft”.)
During the beginning of the concert there was someone dressed on stage as Madonna’s younger self…Madonna said how much she wanted to give her younger self a hug and how that version of her kept her going all these years. And as Madonna played – so so many versions of my younger self unexpectedly reemerged that are all trapped in her songs. I found myself in a state of euphoria but also having to process and deal with these unexpected boxes and vaults being opened song after song. I found myself bursting with joy while at the same time unearthing some scars I’d long buried…
I bought a shitty $15 crown off Amazon and wore it to the show – but to me it felt like a million dollars. In the last few years I’ve found myself getting quieter, more submissive, more “professional”, more happy in solitude. That crappy junk crown unlocked a version of Jeremy I hadn’t felt or known for a very long time. But to truly hold onto him is like hugging the air. As the last song ended I sadly felt him leaving too…
To have Moira Messana stop by the loft and say hi and to graciously meet my friends – hers is a face I saw on a movie theatre screen in a small town over and over in 1991. I knew every word to her scene. When I left that movie theatre I was in a town full of violence and homophobia. It wasn’t a safe world for me at 16 years of age. Moira’s vulnerability and sincerity in ‘Truth Or Dare‘ made her a massive icon to everyone who shared that moment with me. Her lines in the movie became part of our everyday lives and with love.
Decades later she became a friend. I love Moira and her family – she’s such a remarkable, strong woman. Since we became friends we never really talk about Madonna when we hang out. But two nights ago Moira completely became THAT Moira and it was glorious and an explosion of unparalleled joy. My friends were shocked by the surprise. How does the best night ever keep leveling up???? Like Moira said in 1991…”I just wanna see Madonna!”
I haven’t felt as in sync with Madonna in the last few years. I didn’t relate as much to what she was doing for the first time in 40 years. In some ways I was lost without her…but then in other ways I found a new different way without her. To have the Madonna I love so much back and serving as an icon during this show was both exhilarating and unexpectedly confusing.
Because I still want to be Jeremy in 3rd grade 1984 hearing the word “virgin” for the first time, or the Jeremy in high school wearing a gold tooth like Madonna did in “Erotica“, or club kid Jeremy going to raves in the early 90s in Buffalo with pigtails and an Easter basket full of cereal to pass out to other ravers, or 2008 Jeremy releasing an electro album called ‘1987’ and thinking this would be the album to break through, or 2014 Jeremy sitting on the patio of Cappy’s with Lou hearing the leaked demos of “Rebel Heart” and feeling young for maybe the last time. They all disintegrate but they all remain.
Stupid me and my shadows – because although I was surrounded by so much love in my loft my heart was clouded by the friends sitting one section over who don’t talk to me anymore – and once upon a time they were my Madonna friends. I always extend olive branches but generally people don’t grab them and it adds a dark blue directly below my bright yellow. I hate losing friends. I sure wish the universe would extend me second chances but maybe the universe is protecting me too. They were keeping space in my mind the entire time – I wished they were there alongside me and not in the past tense. Nothing really matters – love is all we need.
So it was one of the best nights of my life and two of the saddest days after. I want to be in that moment forever – where I’m wearing a crown feeling free – surrounded by loved ones – and Madonna is reigning supreme again.
During these last few years me and a panel of people discussed each of her albums track by track on my podcast Phonogenics 101. And some of those people were in my Gloft – they flew into Tampa and I got to meet them for the first time in person and share this moment together. Things don’t get any more soul deep than this.
So here we are in April 2024. I love Madonna being front and center again with a tour that appeals to a wider audience. But with that comes all the more general fans complaining about the late start and the lack of A/C. Honey, we’ve been dealing with that for years and years with pleasure. Come join the party…it’s a celebration.
I hope Madonna knows how much she is loved. And I hope my friends know how much I love them. I had it all again for one night – two nights ago. But take a bow…the night is over.
Thank you Madonna for 40 years of safety and love.
Continue reading ...

Our Easter Parade, A Week Late

Easter came early this year, and so our delayed posting schedule here means it’s going up here now. We spent our first Easter without Dad, in the last home in which he lived, and it was a good one. Mom put together a delicious meal, and Dad was present in his favorite lemon meringue pie – ideal for Easter. I made an extremely unpopular ambrosia (which I have come around to enjoying in spite of everyone else) and Andy brought an apple crumble, as favored by Noah. 

After our meal, we invited the twins for an impromptu sleepover during their spring vacation. At 14 years old, their interest in their old uncles wanes, but we still manage to have a good time. They are scheduled to join me for my office’s ‘Take Your Children to Work Day’ – their first time, and mine, to participate in such an event. They’re turning into young adults, and they make us proud every day.

Continue reading ...

Cool Spring Night, Warm Glow Lamp

Apologies for the posting time of this one – it should only be read in the deep depths of night, when the house has gone quiet, when the family has gone to bed, and you sit alone, unable to sleep – maybe because it’s Saturday, maybe because there is something lodged in your mind, or maybe because you are simply too tired to sleep. That happens sometimes. You can push through the tired period when sleep would come easily if you just let it, but you don’t, thinking you might miss something, or pushing ahead to get one more thing done before the day ends. And then it’s too late – you’re up, you’re wired, and you cannot sleep no matter how tired you are. Tricky thing, the arrival and all-too-quick departure of your sleep window. These days I try to catch it by inviting it, welcoming it, and making the conditions hospitable to it. Such as with a song like this – a song that should only be heard late at night. Come revisit this post then. 

The steam of china tea
You could hear the woman sing
In the soft flames of spring
Spring has swept the scarlet side streets
Winds caress, undress, invite
Upstairs by a china lamp
They softly talk in the cool spring night

Continue reading ...

#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

I believe in building children up… by breaking them down.

You know why.

#TinyThreads

Continue reading ...

Spring Snows Sucks

This is too much. 

Where was this nonsense in January when we needed/wanted it?

This helps nothing.

All it does is delay outside work, wreak havoc with outdoor bulbs just coming into bloom, and fuck up drives and travel. I am so sick of it, especially after our last ordeal with an ice/snowstorm. 

This is bullshit.

Sometimes it helps just saying that out loud, getting all the ickiness and frustration out in a common curse word.

And sometimes it doesn’t help at all, because it’s still bullshit and just saying it doesn’t change that fact in the least.

Still, we try.

And still, this is fucking bullshit.

Andy was set to start pumping out the winter pool water and setting the stage for an early pool reveal. We have guests coming in a couple of weeks and wanted to start spring with their visit. This may delay the outside glory, and that does indeed suck. Memories of summer pool days go only so far when we are so close.

Continue reading ...

#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Curling back into the fetal position and staying in bed would have been the best option for the day, but that was not an option for me. 

PS – This weather is bullshit.

#TinyThreads

Continue reading ...

The Go-To-Site for Gay Culture

Matthew Rettenmund has been featured here before, but it’s good to give people a reminder of those websites that continue to produce impeccable and substantial content, because I know how difficult that can be. Rettenmund has been sharing his witty take on the world since 2005, and continues to be an entertaining bright spot amid this online world of awfulness. Check out ‘Boy Culture’ here.

Boy Culture was born on November 6, 2005, out of a desire to say something mean about a pushy journalist its founder, editor and author Matthew Rettenmund, had encountered at a Blondie concert. Since then, Boy Culture has grown to become an influential blog covering celebrity, gay issues, music, film, theater, beautiful men, humor and politics.

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Ali Louis Bourzgui

Our Broadway run continues as this Dazzler of the Day just opened as the title character in the long-awaited revival of ‘The Who’s Tommy’. Having missed it on its first go-round in the mid-90’s, I’ll be seeing it next month on our return to Broadway trip. Ali Louis Bourzgui has been winning raves as Tommy, and comes with a resume chock-full of notable performances – see the exquisite excerpt from his website below for a better introduction:

I’m a SWANA (Moroccan American) actor, singer, musician and creator based in NYC. You can catch me as Tommy in Des McAnuff and Pete Townshend’s revival of The Who’s Tommy on Broadway (Jeff Award for Performer in a Leading Role for the Goodman Theatre run.) Recent work includes Paul in the Company 1st National Tour, Haled on The Band’s Visit National Tour and playing Young Mazin/Yousif in The Goodman’s World Premiere play, Layalina. You can also hear my voice on the Monkeypaw/Gimlet horror podcast Quiet Part Loud produced by Jordan Peele. Originally from Pittsfield, MA, I’ve always loved nature and every branch of art. When not performing you can usually find me hiking, gardening, geeking out over jazz, playing guitar and writing music. I graduated from the Ithaca College B.F.A. Musical Theatre program and have worked regionally at venues such as The Goodman Theatre, Barrington Stage Co., Theaterworks Hartford, Hope Summer Repertory Theatre, Berkshire Theatre Group, The Theater Barn, & Ghostlit Rep Theatre Co. I’m also a proud ISF scholar, working actively to increase Arab American/Muslim representation in media in order to improve public opinion and policy. The only thing I love more than what I do is peanut butter…I really love peanut butter.

Continue reading ...

#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Some nights I talk in my sleep.

If I’m jolted awake, I’ll write it down before I forget it.

Last night I remember saying, “When I die, put me in a box marked ‘Precious Cargo’.”

Always on-brand.

#TinyThreads

Continue reading ...

Worm Mooning

Wary and suspect, I’m still unaccustomed to celebrating a full moon and attempting to harness its powers rather than cower from it and hide away until it’s passed. The most recent full moon – the Worm Moon, also known as the Lenten Moon – appeared last week, and came with its usual bit of tumult. Is there really an uptick in crazy-ass behavior during a full moon? In my experience, decidedly yes. But I can’t tell if the full moon came first, or whether in my mind I simply have it programmed that such events will occur when the moon is full, and therefore subconsciously manifest the madness into happening. 

Regardless of which it is, during a full moon I tend to be a little more careful, a little more mindful, and a little more accepting of the pratfalls that often accompany the lunar phenomenon. It’s an opportunity to practice one’s acceptance of imperfection, embracing the shit that a wayward day will throw in our way. 

 

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Eva Noblezada

Joining her co-star in ‘The Great Gatsby’ on Broadway, Eva Noblezada earns her first Dazzler of the Day thanks to her latest turn in the new musical. As Daisy Buchanan, Noblezada has the formidable task of channeling the fractured facets of this inward-centered jewel, which has sometimes been one of the more dangerous and difficult traps of the Gatsby story. Daisy can be seen in so many ways, on so many levels, and the greatest portrayals leave room for interpretation, leaving the viewer wondering what her main motivation might be. After her lauded performances in ‘Hadestown’, ‘Miss Saigon’, and ‘Les Miserables’, along with a pair of Tony nominations,  Noblezada is getting praise for her take on the complex character around which all of Gatsby revolves. I cannot wait to see her next month

Continue reading ...