Grapefruit, Rosemary, and Faux-Gin

Marline gifted me a bottle of Ritual’s Gin-Alternative, which also came with a handy list of mocktail recipes, including this Greyhound-inspired flash of brilliance, which incorporates grapefruit juice and a simple rosemary syrup. Andy’s not a fan of rosemary, so I only have a single plant of it hidden in the backyard, but I love it, and a little goes a long way. I used two parts sugar, one part water, and two hefty sprigs of rosemary – boiled it for a few minutes, then strained and cooled it. You don’t have to boil it for long, as overcooking certain herbs sometimes turns them bitter, as happens with some tea.

With some fresh grapefruit juice and tonic, the juniper bite of real gin wasn’t horribly missed, and this was a refreshing end-of-summer delight. Pushing for an extension of summer, I sat by the pool and languidly sipped the afternoon away. Rosemary forms a nice bridge between summer and fall, as does this mocktail.

Continue reading ...

Not My First Time At The Babysitting Rodeo

Having the twins over for an overnight is not really what I’d consider babysitting anymore. First of all, they’re no longer remotely close to babies – at eleven years old they are quickly turning into young adults, the way children get way older way too quickly these days. It goes by even faster when you don’t get to see them very often, so what may seem like an eternity to them feels like a split second to me. Second, babysitting indicates a great deal of hand-holding and watching, and both Emi and Noah are old enough to largely take care of themselves, which is rather nice. I’m much better at relating to a self-sufficient person than one who needs constant pampering and care. 

So it was that I invited them over to our home for some end-of-summer swimming and an overnight in the attic loft. They’d seen the room when it was first revamped and were excited to stay there on their own. Spending a late summer night there would hopefully imbue it with a happy memory from the beginning. Before that, however, there was pool – outside and inside. The former allowed some childhood energy and exertions to be spent before bedtime, and the latter afforded them the opportunity to hone their pool-playing skills in the basement. 

They’d been itching to go swimming at night with the pool light on since we re-did the pool last year, and the wait was worth it. I went in with them and played their games (they’re big on pretending that one of us was dead and needed rescuing, and who am I to psychoanalyze that kind of crazy-ass shit?) Once that was done, we went back up to the attic for an impromptu fragrance testing and rating. They each got to try a selection of scents while blindfolded at their insistence so they couldn’t tell which was which, and decide their favorite. Noah had the most expensive taste, selecting a Tom Ford as his favored cologne -‘Beau de Jour’ – while Emi went for the exquisitely floral ‘Mimosa & Cardamom’ by Jo Malone.)  Then it was time for popcorn and the movie. 

Deciding on a movie to watch is an ordeal that usually ends in an argument, so I set up a bracket of sorts, where the three of us would vote on which movies we wanted to see advance, until we had one clear winner. Uncle Al was actually less of a deciding vote than I expected (or may have wanted) so for the most part they were in agreement on what they wanted to see. From a pool of sixteen candidates, we whittled it down to the ultimate winner – ‘Stardust’ – which was way longer than I realized – a lesson for the next time we do this, when I will keep run-times in the forefront of the available offerings. 

I read them a quick bedtime story – really for this photo op only, as you may sense from the foolishness seen here. Tucked in around midnight, they were on their own, and once my head hit the pillow I was out. Kids are exhausting in the best possible way. The next day Emi and I went out for cider doughnuts while Noah opted to stay home with Andy and practice his billiard skills. It was the perfect summer sleepover, marking the last moments of freedom before school began. Next up will be the annual Treasure Hunt, when October arrives…

Continue reading ...

Golden Worries

Whenever the goldenrod appeared along the highway, my heart would start beating a little faster, and my stomach would begin to churn. It always meant the end of summer was near, and the start of the school year was around the corner. It filled me with dread, my social anxiety going into overdrive as the days ticked forward to the first day of school. To this day, I get residual PTSD effects, as recently happened when Emi and Noah were showing me their new backpacks and school supplies.

In that one instant, I was transported back to the fall when I went from elementary school to middle school, when new kids and new teachers and a whole new building meant starting over all again. Having taken years to find my comfort footing with my elementary school class, the notion of beginning again was a daunting and dismal one.

The twins are moving into their middle school now, and I could sense their own bit of nervousness about it. The mere proximity to the event set my stomach tumbling all over again. The odd thing is that nothing that terribly traumatic happened during the time I was in middle school – at least not school-related. While that first year I was shy to the point of non-existence (and perhaps that’s why I never charted on anyone’s radar) I slowly started to make a few new friends. It was always the beginning, especially the beginning of the unknown and unfamiliar, that so terrified me. I wish I’d known then in a more cognizant and aware fashion to take things one step at a time. Somehow, I managed to operate in such a manner without even understanding or realizing what it was that I was doing. It became a matter of getting through the arrival at school, and the first frightening moments of not seeing anyone I knew. Then it was getting through the confusing first period of math, when algebra made absolutely no sense to my mind, and then the first time changing in the locker room with other boys, and then getting through gym class which was once my favorite period of the day, and then finding the location of English class at the other end of the school where the teacher was already waiting for us, and then finding some grade school friends for lunch and carving out a new social scene… so many “and then” moments, and I took them all one at a time.

It was a fledgling version of being in the moment – just getting through whatever was immediately at hand. Don’t give me too much credit – there was no peace that resulted, and my worries compounded and multiplied as the day went on, terror building upon terror – but by the end of all the classes, and averting the disasters and demons that were largely in my mind alone, I’d made it through. The next day would bring the same anxieties and worries, but I took that one a single step at a time, and soon that first week was done.

When I listened to the twins talk about their new school, I did my best to be reassuring, to downplay the worry and play up the excitement. I also set up our next sleepover – when we would hold our annual Treasure Hunt to welcome in October and all its happy haunts. If you’re nervous about something, it’s good to have another event to look forward to beyond what’s giving you pause. At the very least, the twins could focus on that instead of worrying about school. For once, it’s good to be the ‘fun event’ that might alleviate someone else’s anxiety.

And so I see the goldenrod this year in a different light, in the comforting notion of tradition and fall coziness that goes along with the school season – and I work to heal what so worried me in the past. If it helps the twins in some small way too, then maybe that was the reason for all of it in the first place. From generation to generation, the universe makes such connections, repeating and varying and ideally getting us to a better and more peaceable place.

Continue reading ...

Masked, Vaxxed & Somewhat Relaxed

“You don’t choose the times you live in, but you do choose who you want to be, and you do choose how you want to think.” – Grace Lee Boggs

Whatever the diminishing state of the world, I’ve done all that I can do to ensure that my family and I are as safe and protected as possible while this COVID pandemic continues to rage. That’s all we can do, and there’s a certain peace of mind that accompanies such knowledge. I’ve been getting back into daily meditation to quiet the increase in worry and anxiety that goes along with increased hours in the office, and increased COVID cases in general – a strange combination that makes me question all sorts of things – but again, there are only so many choices over which I have the ability to exert any control.

Fall is usually the time of the year when I get more serious about things, particularly creative projects, and though I have a couple things brewing, none has spoken to me with any imperative. Usually the universe will nudge me in the right direction, so I’m waiting for those signs, and if none arrive I’m ok with that too. I’ve just discovered the Amazon Prime Video account I’ve had for all these years and ‘The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’ is all I care about right now.

When the chill of the night starts lingering into the days, I’ll get into crocheting again too. After this blanket took almost four decades to complete I’m anxious to finish more reasonable projects with more human timeframes. And so this lull in the waning days of summer is not something I’m concerned about – it’s all unfolding as it was meant to unfold.

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Harry Styles

Some consider Harry Styles the heir to Mick Jagger’s throne, and some think he’s gone beyond that into a stratosphere of new rock-pop superstardom. His latest album is an exercise in musical genius, and his live performances are spectacular, designed with the wisdom of letting his unbridled charisma and star-power shine through. Sparkling fringe vests and rainbow flags are just cherries on this Dazzler of the Day – and I love anyone who lives up to their name. 

Continue reading ...

Boston Return Blooms

Fall – and the anticipatory days leading up to fall – is the time I usually find myself returning to Boston with more regularity. This year, I am looking to make that happen as the world struggles to right itself. As history has proven, it’s sometimes safer and calmer to hole up in the Boston condo while hurricanes and other events afflict Albany and upstate New York. My Mom and I agree that the condo is actually a cozy space to weather a raging snowstorm or hurricane, and that still proves true. Hopefully that won’t be necessary, but worst-case scenarios tend to be the ones that play out these days. At any rate, Boston beckons, and this post is filled with some flowers that were putting on a show for our last birthday visit, as well as some memories of that city which has always been my home-away-from-home.

The tricky turn of summer into fall is often deceptively beautiful, seducing with its balmy weather and bright all days. Cushioned by the coziness of the coming season, while holding onto the warmer air, is an intoxicating brew of enchantment that masterfully obscures the fact that winter will not be far behind. 

Behind the brick barricade on Braddock Park, one should still be able to hear the outdoor fountain for a few more weeks. I like to sleep with the windows open on these nights – for the cooler air and the sound of the water cascading into itself. Welcoming the outdoors inside won’t happen very often once we reach into October, another reason to carve out more time in this magical place while we can. 

Continue reading ...

Entering the Second Half of My 40’s – Part 2

Inextricably bound to its seaside perch, Boston has always carried hints of the sea in its air. Some days this is more pronounced than others, and on those days I thrill at the proximity to salt water, and the way the ocean laps at its doorstep. As my birthday dawned, we made our way to the Seaport, where we planned on visiting the Institute of Contemporary Art (ICA) for the first time. Suzie and her family had gone there a few weeks ago and recommended the journey. I was seeking something new for this low-key birthday year, and a museum with a water taxi to part of its exhibitions was perfect. 

Andy snickered at this Louis Vuitton bag chained to the ground – a metaphor of fashion enslavement, or ‘the story of your life’ in his words. We wandered through the ICA and then made a super-quick run through its gift shop before making our way to the ship that would bring us across the harbor to the Watershed. Envisioning a Titanic-like expedition, I was surprised to see that they could accommodate 16 people at the most or something like that, and this little water-taxi would not have room for me to leisurely stroll about the deck, mostly because there wasn’t even a deck. No matter – I thrilled at the trip across the water since we never get to sail in any way, shape or form. 

When we reached the Watershed, it felt like we were years removed from Boston, from the present moment, and from above the water. In some Atlantis-like fantasy, the Watershed exhibition was a respite from the sun, and the present world – and precisely what I wanted for my birthday. 

There was magic in the cool and hushed walls, where artist Firelei Báez had conjured this spectacular exhibit. Andy and I slowly took our time walking through the tilted pillars and painstakingly-crafted ruins, where hours of meticulous artwork revealed themselves slowly, layer by layer, and away from the rest of the world, it felt like this space of sanctity was all we needed for that moment. 

After the tour of the Watershed, we waited for the water-taxi to return in the tree-shaded beauty of a little park that looked out over the water. It brought us back to a lunch in the Seaport, and then we hopped on a ride back to the condo. While Andy took his siesta, I ventured out on my own – the traditional moment of solitude on a birthday that somehow appears every year. 

I indulged in some shopping – even though Saks was out of my chosen cologne (losing out on an actual sale to Bergdorf Goodman who would deliver it just as quickly, and on a beauty sale). 

Then it was time to dress for dinner at Mooo. A fancy birthday meal was about to ensue and close out our too-few days in Boston. It was amazing – from the delicate mocktail seen first, all the way through the ricotta cheesecake that Andy had (and promised to recreate for us at a date that will hopefully arrive shortly). 

All in all, it was a delightfully quiet birthday spent with my favorite person in my favorite city, and in this day and age that’s going down as an accomplishment.

Until we find ourselves back in Boston…

 

 

Continue reading ...

Entering the Second Half of My 40’s – Part 1

We arrived in Boston as Hurricane Henri arrived in upstate New York, and while we would cross paths a couple of times, we largely escaped the brunt of the bad weather, as Albany got much more rain than Boston ever did for this storm. After all the tumult of the past year and a half, a birthday trip wrecked by a hurricane would just be par for the course, but my spirit would be dampened deeply if it didn’t happen, so we lucked out. 

It was on a Sunday when we settled into the condo, and while Andy rested I went out for an early stroll/shopping expedition, on which I picked up some Eataly eats for the days to come, as is the new favorite custom. If we had to be stranded inside for inclement weather, we would not do it hungry. Fortunately that never happened, but as the Boston sky looked dramatic and changeable, I would leave nothing to chance. 

It was hot and humid, and the clouds hung lower than the tops of some buildings. The city gave off a dream-like vibe, where haziness and fog made everything feel a little more enchanting, if tinged with the threat of rain. For that first night, we tried out the new Contessa at The Newbury. 

Back when it was the Taj Hotel, we’d spent our wedding weekend in one of their suites, and since then we’d returned to the rooftop restaurant for an extravagant birthday brunch a few years ago. Newly renovated and reopened, I was eager to see how it had changed. The Street Bar, where we’d had some delectable sidecars right before our wedding rehearsal dinner was still intact in sumptuous, classic form.

We had a drink there while waiting for our reservation, then took the elevator upstairs for dinner. Contessa is a gorgeous space – give me a fringed lamp and I’m yours. The food was decent enough, though on the salty side. More reason to drink I suppose. The view was spectacular, and the clouds abated so the expanse of downtown Boston spread out before us. It was the ideal entry into our trio of nights in the city. 

The next day Andy hung around the condo while I did some birthday cologne reconnaissance. I’d narrowed it down to three possibilities: ‘Musc Ravageur’ by the magnificent Frederic Malle and a pair of Byredo offerings – ‘Oud Immortel’ and ‘Accord Oud’. I tried the ‘Musc’ at Neiman Marcus, but it had an abundance of vanilla, and while I’ve warmed slightly to that fragrance, it was only slightly, and I wasn’t quite ready to embrace this much of it. The ‘Oud Immortel’ was lovely, but veered a little too closely to Creed’s ‘Aventus’ to merit a purchase.

Byredo’s ‘Accord Oud’ on the other hand was like a wondrous hybrid of Tom Ford’s ‘Oud Wood’ and ‘Tuscan Leather’ – a combination I’ve employed before, but here it was in one convenient bottle. Birthday cologne chosen, I could relax and leisurely browse the other stores in Boston before returning home for a mid-day charcuterie plate and a necessary siesta. 

By Monday evening the rain had arrived, but it was spotty – pouring for a few minutes at a time then clearing a bit – these roving bands would traverse the sky for the night, scheduled to quit for good by my birthday, so this one night of stormy weather was comforted by an old Boston stand-by – the Atlantic Fish Company – which Mom had recommended after having a lunch there a few week ago. I hadn’t been there in well over a decade, and on a rainy night it provided a much-needed dose of comfort seafood. We returned to the condo in the midst of the rain, hunkering down for the evening with a hint of fall in the air, and that seems a good place to pause…

Continue reading ...

Bookended by Falling Blossoms

Filled with the falling blooms from the seven sons flower tree, the pool echoes the more exciting sight of the cherry blossom petals of pink floating in it just a few short months ago. This is the closing sign of the summer season, and carries a tinge of sadness to it because of that, but it’s tied to the opening start of it all, and so it brings an element of sweet to the bitter. It’s ok – we’ve been here before, and if we are lucky we will come back, and next time the blooms will be pink again, and the season of the sun will return with a happy vengeance. 

Continue reading ...

A Laborious Recap

On this Labor Day, I’m taking the easy way out with this recap of the previous week, ut coming up very soon we will chronicle my birthday in Boston and the recent sleepover with the Ilagan twins, so fresh content is just a few clicks away. Come back for that in a bit – for now, let’s recap the last week…

It began with my 20th anniversary with the State of New York – meaning I am two-thirds of the way toward the day I am eligible to retire. 

Rolling the yarn from summer into fall

Summer still happens for most of September.

Those doggone days of summer.

A lady of iron.

School criminal.

Shirtless male celebrities made a splash here again

That naked Lil Nas X album cover for ‘Montero’.

Foggy bottom.

ALB whimsy.

Downtown Albany delights with these imitations of life

A glimpse of David Beckham’s naked ass courtesy of Victoria Beckham’s Instagram. The road to David Beckham nude takes another turn…

No wire hangers ever! (Or almost…)

Dazzlers of the Day included Michael Damian, Kim Fields, Mindy Cohn, Nancy McKeon, and Lisa Whelchel.

Continue reading ...

No Wire Hangers Ever!

Since a great deal of the clean-up for the attic loft consisted of shoving errant junk into the storage and closet space of the unseen parts of the attic, some organization and editing remains for me to do. I’ve saved the bulk of it for this fall and winter while enjoying the scant peeks of sun we’ve had this summer. The other night I had a moment to begin sifting through the racks of clothing, and I managed to whittle things down and make the slightest dent in the collection, resulting in this line-up of hangers. 

We’ve only just begun…

(Keen inspectors may find the exception to the rule…)

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Lisa Whelchel

Like any proper gay boy growing up in the 1980’s, my idols were Madonna, Blanche Devereaux, and Blair Warner. Fittingly our final honors of ‘The Facts of Life‘s fabulous foursome goes to the woman who portrayed my favorite fact-of-lifer Blair Warner: Lisa Whelchel. She earns the Dazzler of the Day for turning what could have been a one-note stereotypical character of privilege into a complex and conflicted heroine, whose friendship with Jo proved to be the heart of the entire show. 

Continue reading ...

A Peek at David Beckham’s Naked Butt

We have Victoria Beckham to thank for yet another moment of magnificence, as she posted this cheeky pic of her husband David Beckham showing a peek of his naked ass. Beckham’s booty has been celebrated wide and far, and in posts like this and this and this. He’s also been a favorite here as evidenced by this linky-licious post exhibiting his various attributes. This is the closest we’ve come to a true David Beckham nude posterior, so gratitude must be given to Victoria

Continue reading ...

Imitations of Life in Downtown Albany

Seward Johnson sculpted these works of art which are currently scattered throughout downtown Albany, creating a jolt of surreal awareness when something you assume is human out of the corner of your eye suddenly turns inanimate upon closer examination. Those little tricks of perception have always been one of the most fascinating parts of art for me. Tricking the brain and challenging our too-often-unchallenged perspective is a main tenet of art that’s going to matter.

Sculptures like this also beg for some sort of engagement and interaction, even if it’s just posing for a silly selfie with them. We need more of that in this fractured world, and the idea of art as something for everyone is a comfort as we head further toward division. Art unites all of us in ways that little else can.

On a recent lunch break, I took a walk through downtown to see which of these I could find – there are a total of ten in various downtown locations – I managed to locate seven so far. The quest for the remaining three will continue next week.

Continue reading ...

ALB Whimsy

Albany holds its whimsical enchantments close to its vest, only revealing them to those who are patient and who take the time to really look. That means going a little further on a daily lunch walk or simply keeping your eyes peeled for unexpected delights like a painted parking meter or a parking garage mural. Always a bane to the existence of the downtown worker, parking is a necessary evil that we might as well make as pretty and whimsical as possible.

Continue reading ...