After being completely enamored of his fragrance, I wasn’t sure Richard Grant could do anything to make me love him more, and then his performance in ‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ goes and blows that foolish inclination up in a glorious puff of sparkle and pizzazz. As the mentor to a budding drag queen, Grant imbues his character with the world-weary, battle-scarred beauty of an aged performer perhaps slightly past their prime, and just waiting for a second act of inspiration. After a lifetime of secondary, though scene-stealing roles, Grant once again nimbly makes shreds of all surrounding scenery, and in a movie of memorable characters, he accomplishes the impossible by rising to the challenge of standing out. For all that, and a few decades of memorable roles (hello ‘Gosford Park’ and ‘The Age of Innocence’), Richard earns this Dazzler of the Day.
When the sun slants into the bedroom bay window, and the afternoon shifts from mid to late, my favorite place to be is reading a book or lounging in the sun-soaked bed of the Boston condo. I actively seek out this pocket of time for a siesta whenever I am in town, though when I lived there it more often seemed like I was out and about than home during this precious portion of the day. Perhaps that’s why it’s so lovely – always tantalizingly out of reach, its elusive nature addling to its allure – and I wanted so badly to have such a life of leisure so as to afford an afternoon siesta in the middle of the week. Alas, such treats must wait for retirement, or the occasional vacation day, or this recent Saturday afternoon when I could luxuriate in bed on a break from walking the city with family.
There is a great deal to be said for simply existing and enjoying a moment of rest and repose. Too many of us feel uncomfortable or nervous when we pause or stop for more than a second in our break-neck pace of life, unaccustomed to such mindfulness, to the treat of calm and stillness when we make the effort to truly slow down. Meditation has allowed me to access that – though I have to say I’ve always been able to stop whatever I was doing and take a lunch or a break and re-charge. It’s why I can sustain and maintain a consistent pace. (One doesn’t keep a daily blog going for 18 years by burning out and posting in fits and starts.) The same goes for the steady stretch of jobs I’ve managed to keep and advance through for two decades – that doesn’t just happen. Whenever I feel myself getting anxious or agitated by work or website posts, I step back and pause, indulge in some self-care and recharging, then continue on with a lighter mental load.
When such an indulgence can occur in a city like Boston, as the afternoon sun is filling the bedroom bay window and the autumn light is warm and abundant, I feel all the more grateful.
My newest obsession is the movie version of the West End musical ‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ – thanks in no small part to the winning performance of Max Harwood as the title character. With a blond mop and big eyes that take in the world as if it were made expressly for him, Harwood gives Jamie the untapped power and budding invincibility of a drag queen being born. Coupled with a poignant vulnerability, and a heartbreaking emotional journey, Harwood takes Jamie through the drama of being a teenager discovering their place in the world, and carving it out when it doesn’t quite fit. For this performance alone, Harwood earns the Dazzler of the Day.
Autumn and its golden splendor unfurls in fiery fashion, and this first week of fall was a roller-coaster of sun and rain, fun and pain. Though it was predicted that my last day on earth would be September 23, 2021, I sailed through as if I was still just in my 40’s. Today, Suzie and I are making a trip to Vermont to celebrate fall and see what we can find left from childhood memories. On with the recap…
The color scheme for the fall season of ALANILAGAN.com is heavy on orange and fuchsia, so this little collection of blooms as seen along the Southwest Corridor Park in Boston are a fitting floral personification of such heat. Marigolds and zinnias are ubiquitous heralders of summer, reminiscent of childhood days where such explosions of color were commonplace. Every year I see these scenes and regret not planning and planting more annuals for the yard – maybe next year I’ll actually do something about it.
For now, they’re part of the Boston walking experience, and someone else has been good enough to care for them to get them to such a beautiful point. Hopefully the weather will last a little while longer and extend this summer show well into fall.
“Never underestimate the power of your story. Everyone has a different story and is living different experiences. Although no one’s life is alike, many of our triumphs, failures, hardships, and successes overlap. For that reason, I believe all of our experiences are important and can impact others. Recently I have been very focused on empowering and helping others share their story. I’ve learned that being a storyteller is sometimes about assisting other people in telling their stories. This realization has driven my work and leads me to want to help others feel empowered and recognize their importance. If you are someone who wants to share their story, go for it – you might be able to impact the lives of so many. If you need some guidance or potentially would like to have your story amplified on my page, feel free to dm the word “guide,” and I’ll try to help you out.” ~ Sander Jennings
As a sibling to transgender trailblazer Jazz Jennings, Sander Jennings has been a bit of a trailblazer himself, as a stalwart and unrelenting ally in the pursuit of equality, inclusion, and diversity. He puts it into words better than I could, and for his consistent and tireless work, he earns this Dazzler of the Day honor.
From Sander: This is important for everyone to know. To this day, I constantly get asked questions surrounding sexuality, so here are my thoughts:
#1. You don’t have to identify as LGBTQ+ to support the LGBTQ+ community. Allyship saves lives and can help create diversity, equity, and inclusion in society.
#2. To people who identify as a man and an ally: Don’t let other people questioning your masculinity or sexuality deter you from being an active ally to the LGBTQ+ community. Being an ally doesn’t make you less of a man.
#3. To everyone: Just because someone promotes pride and advocates for the community doesn’t mean you should jump to conclusions about their gender identity or sexual orientation.
#4. It is best never to ask someone about their sexuality. Create a safe space for someone to share that with you.
#5. People questioning you doesn’t need to make you question yourself. Be proud to be you.
Final thoughts: One of my main goals on social media is to bridge the gap between allies and the LGBTQ+ community. Some of my content is intended to amplify, uplift, and show support to the LGBTQ+ community. Other posts are designed to educate and encourage my cisgender & heterosexual followers to recognize the importance of Allyship. Whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or don’t, we are all valid and can promote diversity, equity and inclusion together. I love you all.
I’ve always wanted to serve finger sandwiches for a fancy lunch at home, so when Mom and Dad and Elaine were stopping by for a lunch, I set about to serving a collection of finger sandwiches (also known affectionately as English tea sandwiches if they’d been done in fancier form). Thinking it would be easier than firing up the grill on a day when it may have been hot, I didn’t anticipate the work involved, particularly when over-reaching with a planned selection of five different varieties. It isn’t that it was difficult, just intricate and precious and time-consuming – all the things I purposely avoid when deciding what to cook for a gathering. But these are the things we do for family.
The first was a ham and cornichon and mustard-tinged aioli sandwich, followed by a smoked salmon and chive cream cheese on pumpernickel, then marinated cucumber and garlic-herb cream cheese, a simple egg salad with scallions, and for the fifth some store-bought Waldorf chicken salad because I was done by then.
The company was worth all the work, and we spent the afternoon outside on the patio, taking in one of the final sunny days of summer, surrounded by trailing vines of sweet potato and pots of ripened figs on the fig trees. It was balmy yet breezy, and the hint of coolness on the air was welcome with the sun.
As for doing these sandwiches again, I would do so, but limit it to one or two varieties, then set up an assembly line formation that would be much easier than switching it up with some ridiculously ambitious selection. Lesson learned the delicious way, and with the very best company.
Picking up from the previously-named contingent of marvelousness that is Rachel Brosnahan and LeRoy McClain, this Dazzler of the Day is noted for her performance as Rose Weissman in ‘The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’. In many ways she is my favorite character, probably because I feel she is the most like me, in every failing and character foible. Her intent is never wrong or ill, and she retains a nobility and grace and elegance in the face of the world around her crumbling apart, and I admire that too. On some level she realizes she is less than perfect, but her belief in everything she does imbues even her mistakes with a sense of poise and refinement. Hinkle has a history of impeccably embodying real, complex and often hilariously-comedic characters, such as in her work on ‘Once and Again’ and ‘Two and a Half Men’. As the mother to Mrs. Maisel, she’s at the top of her game.
This Cornus kousa ‘Wolf’s Eye’ tree easily wins the contest for longest season of beauty and interest, thanks to its incredibly extended ‘blooms’ (more accurately bracts) in this rainy summer of 2021. They lasted well into August – an unheard-of length of time to be in bloom, faux or not. Followed by these pretty pink berries (so delectable to the birds and squirrels), the variegated Chinese dogwood in our backyard has made the otherwise-disappointing summer this much prettier.
This particular specimen also housed a robin’s nest earlier, with its gorgeously-shaded eggs and territorial red-breasted birds, and is now providing much food ad fodder for the roving bands of squirrels and not-so-finicky finches, which have moved from the cup plant seed heads to these speckled fruits. Taken altogether, the Chinese dogwood provides almost four full seasons of beauty and interest.
The simple yet majestic magnificence of the chrysanthemum – so revered by Asia year-round, and in this country particularly in the fall – informs this quick post. Coming into bloom at the tail-end of the growing season, when the gardens are all set to begin their slumber, these mums are the final display of floral fireworks, and cherished all the more for that. I’m a relatively recent appreciator of the chrysanthemum. They always looked overwrought and over-hybridized to my eyes. Lately, though, I admire their perfect form and their long blooming period. They wore me down. It’s easier to give in than fight a long and possibly-losing battle. Making peace with the easy prettiness of such a ubiquitous plant seems the wisest move for a happier future. Know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. Know when to walk away, know when to run. And count your blessings. Fall is at hand.
If I posted this blog link on social media (FaceBook, Twitter or Instagram) then I must have survived the day it was predicted I would meet my end. So much for the accuracy of Halloween Hayride prophecies. Not that it didn’t make for an interesting day. One is a bit more careful when one is told they are going to die on a certain date. One is naturally a little more cautious.
In my case, I was weary of just about everything, and the most mundane objects or actions took on dangerous form. A flower vase suddenly looked like it might shatter and puncture some important vein. A few drops of rain during an afternoon swim had me certain that lightning would strike. Doing the smallest dance step to this song in the shower was accompanied by visions of me falling and smashing my head on the tile.
As the day wound to its close, and it looked like I might survive, I thought it might be nice to let the small world of casual acquaintances sweat it out a bit – hence the prickliness of this post. If you can choose to be prickly instead of soft, I’ll always choose prickly. Like the beautiful castor bean seed pods seen here, which finally popped in time for fall. They embody my bitter brand of sassiness right now, and I’ll never say sorry for that. Because you can’t be that mad at pretty. Or at life, especially when you’ve been given another shot at it.
It was in this post where I describe the spooky ghoul who predicted my death date as… wait for it… (but don’t wait that long)… today, September 23, 2021. So depending on what time of the day this cataclysmic (for me) event takes place, this post may be coming to you posthumously. Of course, as is my wont, I won’t be going quietly or easily, so consider this anything but a parting shot. I’ve touched enough people to live on for quite a few more years, even if I’m not physically here. There are stories to tell, memories to rekindle, and ways to survive beyond this world. In truth, my presence often looms larger when I’m absent… and you don’t even know it. Don’t think that wasn’t designed.
There’s a clock on the wall and it’s moving too slow
It’s got hours to kill and a lifetime to go
And I’m holding my breath ’til I hear the last bell
Then I’m coming out hard and I’m giving ’em hell
For a last song, this one truly sings to me. It’s not about fading out or going gently into that good night. It’s from my latest obsession ‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ and it could function as a hello and goodbye… and you don’t even know it.
I’m a superstar and you don’t even know it
In a wonder bra and you don’t even know it
You’re so blah, blah and you don’t even know it
I’m like, au revoir and you don’t even know it
There’s a path I’ve planned (and you don’t even know it)
To the promised land (and you don’t even know it)
And you won’t understand (and you don’t even know it)
‘Cause you’re my backing band (and you don’t even know it)
And it’s the Jamie show (and you don’t even know it)
‘Cause you’re meh, so-so (and you don’t even know it)
And sorta slow (and you don’t even know it)
And I’m go, go, go (and you don’t even know it)
When I was first told of the day I was going to die, I was both relieved and grateful – relieved that it was set and done, and grateful for the two years I had then in which to tick through my bucket list. The only problem? I don’t really have much of a formal bucket list – – and so I proceeded through the last two years fumbling along as I’ve done for much of my life – while improving and bettering myself in small increments. Regrets? Nah. Every misstep and mistake made me smarter, better, faster, stronger and all that shit. I also did it while impeccably attired. The world crumbled around us, but I would not go down without a sartorial last stand.
I’ve got the dreams, I’ve got the style
I’ve got the moves to make you smile So kiss my ass goodbye
‘Cause I’m gonna be the one
I’m on my way, I won’t be turned
Your stupid lessons I’ve unlearned
And I’ll be free to fly
And I’m gonna kiss the sun…
While the fashion fairies worked their magic on my exterior, I also worked on what was going on inside – the heart, the head, the soul – all of it messy and convoluted and embedded with years of turmoil, trouble and transformation. The quest for perfection – a foolish and impossible quest with no happy ending – was seen as the dead end it always was, and in its place I found a happier freedom, dropping the guard in ways I never thought possible.
And if ever you find life is getting you down
There’s a party to start in a new part of town
Where there’s a guest list of one and the name’s Jamie New
And if you ask me real nice I might sign you in too
‘Cause baby I’m a hit (and you don’t even know it)
Legit (and you don’t even know it)
Better give me room (and you don’t even know it)
For my va-va voom (and you don’t even know it)
‘Cause I’m coming up (and you don’t even know it)
In a double D cup (and you don’t even know it)
When a boy’s this stacked (and you don’t even know it)
He’s the headline act (and you don’t even know it)
What would you do if you were told the exact day you were going to die? Live it up? Give it up? Change your life? Change nothing at all? For the most part, I forgot about the prediction until someone at work brought it back up. Part of me thinks I would have sailed through this day without incident if I hadn’t been reminded of it. Now a small, fantastical part of me thinks I may unwittingly will it into being, pricking my finger on some hidden spindle I didn’t remember storing in some dim corner of the attic.
I’ve got the dreams, I’ve got the style
I’ve got the moves to make you smile
So kiss my ass goodbye
‘Cause I’m gonna be the one
And when you’re old, like 32
You’ll all remember Jamie New
The kid who learned to fly
And I’m gonna kiss the sun
Which brings us to this moment and the hours that remain to the day – perhaps my last day – perhaps your last day too because who knows when anyone’s time is up? I feel like I should have some contingency plan in effect, when in fact all I have is a couple of posts pre-populated here (and none of them particularly exceptional, so tell everyone this was my last one). Beyond that there is only the beautiful abyss, the beautiful hereafter, the beautiful whatever-is-to-come… and that holds true for every day – the ones we don’t get to begin, and the ones that we do.
Oh baby I’m a hit (you don’t even know it)
So admit (we you don’t even know it)
Yeah, I’m a hit (she you don’t even know it)
Just a bit (he you don’t even know it)
And I’m smoking hot (we you don’t even know it)
And I’ve got the lot (we you don’t even know it)
Yeah, what I got (she you don’t even know it)
Yeah, you have not
We don’t even know it (you don’t even know it)
We don’t even know it (you don’t even know it)
She don’t even know it (she don’t even know it)
He don’t even know it (he don’t even know it)
We don’t even know it (you don’t even know it)
She don’t even know it (you don’t even know it)
She don’t even know it
And you don’t even know it
There’s the family we are born with, and the family we choose. In rare and exceedingly happy circumstances, the two converge and you find yourself related to some pretty fabulous people. Such was the case when Andy’s cousin (or second cousin, or first cousin once-removed, or second cousin nunce-removed – I just can’t figure it out) came into the world.
Tyler likes to joke that I don’t remember the first time I met him. Or the first few times. He’s not entirely inaccurate. In truth, I don’t remember specifically meeting him those initial times, and all those many years ago. He was about twelve or thirteen the first time he attended a family party we were having, and anyone under the age of twenty simply doesn’t register with me. I was also drinking appletinis at the time, so clearly I was not of sound mind. I’m better about the wee ones now, but back then I likely said a quick and curt hello then moved on to someone who could share a ridiculous cocktail.
Luckily, Tyler was a forgiving and sensible child, and grew into a similarly-sensible young man, so by the time he was old enough to share those cocktails he completely understood my aversion to kids and could entirely relate. When he and his boyfriend Kevin visited us two summers ago, we had a wonderful time, so when he said he wanted to visit Boston at some point I jumped at the chance to show him a couple of favored places. Any excuse to head to Boston makes me happy. While we cycled through a number of questionable old CD mixes to fill the space with music, the one that spun round the most may have been Shirley Horn, and so I offer ‘Here’s to Life’ – the title track to my favorite album of hers, and a fall musical moment if ever there was one – as the soundtrack to a lovely weekend that also nicely sets up for fall.
No complaints and no regrets
I still believe in chasing dreams and placing bets
But I had learn that all you give is all you get
So give it all you got
Two of his friends joined him from the airport and we sat around the condo on Friday night nibbling at the now-requisite charcuterie board, shooting the shit and discussing quantum physics, LSD, cancel culture, and palliative care. I loved every minute of it. It was a lively beginning to the weekend – and before I knew it the clock was striking 2 AM.
I had my share, I drank my fill
And even though I’m satisfied, I’m hungry still
To see what’s down another road beyond the hill, And do it all again
Tyler was game for a walk along the Esplanade, and after picking up some pastries at Flour, we made our way along the Charles River, pausing for our sweet treats then winding our way through Beacon Hill and up to the Boston Public Garden.
Funny how the time just flies, how love can go from warm hellos
We exited the Garden and walked down Newbury Street, making our way into and through Copley Square, then through the Southwest Corridor Park and its little gardens of neighbor-tended beauty – an oasis of sorts in the middle of the city, and always a welcome and hidden gem that most tourists thankfully don’t bother to visit. A Korean lilac was confusingly in bloom as if it were May again – an echo from earlier trips here, and a welcome spot of perfume as the day had turned warm. It was time for my afternoon siesta, as I explained to Tyler, imploring him to hang out with his friends while my old ass took a brief nap.
We met back up in time for a dinner at the Buttery, and a walk through the South End on a remarkably pleasant evening – despite the odd appearance of lightning all around the city. After dinner, we explored some more, landing at the relatively new (to me, at least) Revolution Hotel and its restaurant Cósmica – where we had a drink and a look-see, which will definitely merit a return visit, if only for the bartender who got a kick out of our pap smear conversation.
For there’s no yes in yesterday
And who knows what tomorrow brings or takes away
As long as I’m still in the game
I want to play – for laughs, for life, for love
When we began our walk home, it was raining – the mark of a proper summer weekend in Boston this year – and so we completed the soaked gauntlet, arriving back at the condo in what fittingly felt like a fall night at last. It was warm upstairs, and we settled in for another late-night of talking before reluctantly going to bed and ending a satisfying day.
So here’s to life
And every joy it brings
Here’s to life
For dreamers and their dreams
May all your storms be weathered
And all that’s good get better
Tyler was great company, and there’s no happier realization than finding family with whom you actually enjoy spending time and sharing adventures. We spoke of future plans, and the possibility of meeting up in Baltimore or Savannah, or Phoenix or Boston again, and having him and Kevin back up to Albany for leaf-peeping season. All happy ideas, all ideas of hope, all of the very best that life can sometimes be when the stars agree to align.
It took about 40 years, but Abba is finally releasing new music this fall, and ‘Don’t Shut Me Down’ is officially our song of the season, charming with its typically lush melodies and harmonies, and lyrics that lend themselves to myriad universal readings – as any decent Abba song does. My own take is going to align with the fall season, and the opportunity for a renewal of promises, a promise of a new beginning, and a beginning of something that might be more wonderful than anything we’ve known. After a summer of disappointment, such over-the-top proclamations are welcome – and if we fail at reaching the moon and stars, perhaps we’ll land in some lofty tree top that still manages to afford something better than where we’ve been treading.
A while ago I heard the sound of children’s laughter
Now it’s quiet, so I guess they left the park
This wooden bench is getting harder by the hour
The sun is going down, it’s getting dark
A group as venerable as Abba might seem an unlikely choice for injecting something fresh and new into the stagnancy that was this summer, and perhaps the previous year, but on giving this one a few listens, I’m here for it and all its creamy lusciousness. It matches the slightly gaudy color scheme we’ve implemented for fall – the brilliant clash of orange and fuchsia, and touches of bright purple and hot pink to add further spark and jarring juxtaposition. Sometimes more is simply and wonderfully more.
I realize I’m cold
The rain begins to pour
As I watch the windows on the second floor
The lights are on, it’s time to go
It’s time at last to let him know
I believe it would be fair to say
You look bewildered
And you wonder why I’m here today
And so you should, I would
When I left I felt I’d had enough
But in the shape and form I appear now
I have learned to cope
And love and hope is why I am here now
If you are one of the marvelous readers who has returned here faithfully over the past couple of decades, first of all, thank you. It is for us that I keep posting and writing and creating, and if you gather any enjoyment or amusement from this, it means more than you know. Second, faithful visitors over the last few years may have seen the gradual shift in tone and atmosphere, as a personal blog is prone to reflect the shifts and evolution of the person in charge of it. While appearance and superficial flash will always have a place here, there’s room for something deeper, something more meaningful, and I’m finding that more in my friends and family, and in the journey of becoming a better person, no matter how small or slight the increments or reaches end up being.
And now you see another me, I’ve been reloaded, yeah
I’m fired up, don’t shut me down
I’m like a dream within a dream that’s been decoded
I’m fired up, I’m hot, don’t shut me down
I’m not the one you knew
I’m now and then combined
And I’m asking you to have an open mind
I’m not the same this time around
I’m fired up, don’t shut me down
And so we begin a new fall season – the concluding phase of our 18th year (#19 begins in January 2022!) There are a few new characters about to be introduced, some old traditions that will hopefully be resurrected, and that recharged autumnal energy that can only come from a chill in the morning air. I want to continue expanding and implementing the mindfulness that comes with meditation, while working to be a better husband, son, uncle, brother, and friend. That means there’s a little more personal investment in the stories spun here, and a deeper emotional pull that makes this a labor of love. There’s also a humility and vulnerability at work as well, because I’m going to continue to make mistakes, and nothing here was ever, or will ever be, perfect. We will reckon with that too – and that’s always going to be more riveting than my naked ass – or any naked ass for that matter – could ever be.
Will you leave me standing in the hall
Or let me enter?
The apartment hasn’t changed at all
I got to say I’m glad
Once these rooms were witness to our love
My tantrums and increasing frustration
But I go from mad
To not so bad in my transformation
Fall is the prime time for such new ventures. It’s when we get to see how our little cast of characters has evolved and changed, what sort of new hairstyles they have (mine will be gray) and what new wardrobe selections will be revealed (I’m embracing Harry Styles and high waists of late). Above and beyond that, there are some familiar and not-so-familiar faces entering the fray – the twins are now old enough to stay over and be more or less self-sufficient. We have a traditional Treasure Hunt weekend coming up that may involve a trip to Manchester, Vermont. Our cousin Tyler is back on the East Coast and up for more adventures. And a long-lost high school friend from Amsterdam resurfaced, so watch for her Boston debut here as well. All in all, some good people are set to join our crazy circle.
And now you see another me, I’ve been reloaded, yeah
I’m fired up, don’t shut me down
I’m like a dream within a dream that’s been decoded
I’m fired up, I’m hot, don’t shut me down
I’m not the one you knew
I’m now and then combined
And I’m asking you to have an open mind now
I’m not the same this time around
I’m fired up, don’t shut me down
Even better than the new are the stalwart standbys – the precious people who have populated my life and saved it on more than a few occasions – friends and family who continue to enrich my life, and make the marked difficulties of living in such a time not only bearable but enjoyable – and for that I am extremely thankful and excited. They are the main characters of this space, and if you’ve been here with any regularity you know them by name. Here, everybody is a star.
As for you, who are reading this now – you are always welcome to join in the fun. I’m glad you’re here. Let’s head into fall together.
You asked me not to leave
Well, here I am again
And I love you still and so I won’t pretend
I have learned to cope
And love and hope is why I am here now.
A new season doesn’t always begin with a bang, just as most New Year Days are quiet and simple mornings of reflection and contemplation. This fall feels small in that way, in a very good way, because after a year and a half of this madness a quiet little entry into a new season is the most comforting way to approach change. We’ve all been through a lot, and the world has collectively been traumatized. That’s something we have only begun to realize, and I’m concerned that the effects will linger far longer than most of us realize.
That said, this site has never been one to sound the doomsday clock, or to watch it tick down to danger without offering some fantastic alternative of escapist frivolity and nonsense with which to divert our harried minds. To that end, let’s enter this fall season with a little intrigue and mystery, a colorful reigniting of passions after a summer, drained and devoid of many pleasures, fades into shades of gray.
A scarf dances in the wind, alighting on a dogwood heavy with its own fruit, which is still no match to the super-saturated brightness of this pseudo-silk accessory. How a scarf came to be in the branches of a dogwood is a story likely not worth a telling, much less a re-telling at some later date, and so the mystery shall remain. Fall carries mystery with it, with its expanding darkness, the coolness on the wind, the way it teases you into its early pleasures right before striking it all down in a hard frost. Such a cruel sleight of hand, such a lovely way to burn.
Dancing over to a hydrangea in its own salmon-hued bloom, the scarf winds its way through the garden like a snake, hiding among the branches and blooms that tickle its passing fancy. Fall is tricky like that too, cajoling and nudging us along in sun and splendor until we’ve passed a point of safe return, and then it clamps down its frost-laden nights, freezing the ground and heaving the fields.
The afternoon sunlight on certain September days no longer belongs to summer, and the change is distinct to those who have seen it before. It’s both sharper and gentler, crisp yet supple. Summer gets all the glory, but the real secret is that fall color resonates more deeply. The sky is the bluest it will ever be. The blooms, if there are any repeat bloomers, are smaller but richer in tone and shade. And soon, very soon, the foliage will ignite and burn itself up in autumnal splendor.
For now, though, there is this scarf, and a necklace of fuchsia beads that may or may not come into some greater play sooner or later or never – the fluctuating whims of fall forever prey to fickle behavior and luckless decisions.
I have quite purposely and intentionally left out a fall entry song for the first post of the season – it will arrive later today – so as to allow the thoughts to expand without noise or music or harmony. The sounds of summer – those relentless cicadas, that crackle of fireworks, the giddy shouts of neighborhood children, that goddamn ice cream truck jingle – fade from hearing now. The sun shines quietly, and the only noise comes from the whoosh and whirl of a scarf, carried on the wind, and sounding like a librarian’s wearily repeated ‘shh, shh, shh’ shushing a group of kids who haven’t excised all memory of summer freedom just yet.
