This is posted for the feature image alone, showing Lenny Kravitz at age 57.
Fifty-fucking-seven.
I will never have abs like that at any age.
Never did, never will.
And that’s ok.
PS – Bonus shot of Jason Momoa, just ’cause.
03
October
2021
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October
2021
03
October
2021
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October
2021
A Visitor Named Chip
Andy alerted me to our little friend Chip sitting on the front step curled up in a little striped ball and trying to stay warm on one of the first cool days of the season. I crept up to the window and stole these photos as this adorable guy surveyed the yard beyond the hydrangeas.
This wasn’t our first guest on the front steps this year, nor will it likely be the last. But this was definitely one of the cutest, and as destructive as vast numbers of chipmunks can be, I don’t have the heart to hate on them in a one-on-one situation.
Besides, these creatures will be scarce come winter, so I’m enjoying them as a lingering symbol of summer, embracing them like I embrace the sun when it has deigned to shine these past few months. They’ve been busy scooping up acorns and nuts, shoring up seeds, and storing their provisions for the long fall ahead.
They also look good in stripes, which is not a look everyone can pull off, so this sight tickles my fancy.
02
October
2021
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October
2021
The Fur of a Woolly
I said about all that needed to be said about the woolly bear caterpillar in this past last year. And I didn’t google anything further to offer more to the rather inane conversation of one. But in the backyard the other day I happened upon this year’s woolly bear, slowly traversing the lawn and hoping not to be stepped on.
What does their fur say to us now? Who can read the future winter weather in the width of the stripe? What might this winter bring? It’s too soon to entertain such dismal thoughts as winter. Let’s hold onto what warmth the sun may yet elicit during the day.
02
October
2021
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October
2021
Suzie Strikes A Pose
A promise made in this post about the latest Suzie Ko Fashion Show finds fulfillment in this fun entry, which shows Suzie in her unnatural habitat, posing and preening as if to the manor born. Or is it to the manner born? Either way, this girl never met a mirror she didn’t immediately hog for herself. The pictures speak for themselves, but I’ll give you a little backstory too.
On this particular day, Suzie was wearing a pair of pants that range in description from canary and mustard to banana and urine. I believe her explanation for choosing them was due to their ugliness and cheap cost. (She has a very different idea of fashion than the rest of us humans, despite the wondrous John Fluevog vintage shoes she dug out for this excursion.)
When we drove by a Pendleton outlet, she shrieked with an excitement that was totally lacking when I pulled into the Armani outlet just a few minutes prior. Upon entering, I could see that this was some sort of high-end L.L.Bean/Orvis/Eddie Bauer bullshit, where plaid and wool mated like rabbits and you couldn’t easily tell the difference between a blanket and a coat. That said, I did find a few beautiful pieces that somehow squeaked upward of the $500 mark which seems obscene for a Vermont outlet, but I guess Pendleton is fancy that way. And then Suzie came upon This Coat.
It was the precise shade of her pants, and in a heavy but supple wool. She simply had to try it on, and pose and pose and pose in the mirror. Since she’d been so good as to accompany me to Vermont for a fall excursion, I was feeling generous and let her have this excessive moment, content to document it for the disbelieving folks who would sooner buy me prancing around in an Armani sequin pant suit.
If it had been a little closer to her size (she was basically doing the backstroke in this men’s large) I might have insisted on her getting it, but alas, it was not to be. We’ll come back next year and see if we can find something more fitting.
And may this also dispel the myth that I’m the one who can’t pass a mirror without admiring myself. The truth is finally out.
02
October
2021
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October
2021
Vermont Escapade with the Bestie
One of my favorite fall memories from childhood is visiting my grandmother in Hoosick Falls. It was about an hour away – which felt like forever when you’re a kid – and it always felt like a long, winding journey with twists and turns, going beside streams and over rivers, crossing bridges and slinking through valleys – the perfect fall escapade for a kid. I would occasionally make some cinnamon apple muffins and pack them into a basket, filling the car with their cozy aroma, and more often than not eating one along the way.
We’d arrive on a Friday and sleep on Gram’s green velvet sofas, and the next morning Mom would drive us all into Vermont, where we would make a stop at the Candle Mill, and dip candles in various colors. Behind the wooden building was a little waterfall and stream with a little area where you could watch the water rushing by. We would always pause for a long time there, and it remains one of my happiest memories.
When Suzie and I were looking for a day trip, I remembered those fall weekends in Vermont. Suzie has ties to Vermont too, and though I knew the Candle Mill had long since closed I was hopeful we could at least stop by the place and see the stream, then head into Manchester for lunch and some shopping.
We arrived in the morning, which was good because the day would soon turn to rain (as it’s been doing since May) and the old Candle Mill looked like a private residence. Two more buildings had been built down beside it (at least they looked new to me) but there was a little parking lot down the road that allowed us to amble up the stream a bit and glimpse the waterfall in the distance. It was exactly as I remembered it, and nothing like I remembered it, if that makes any sense. It had been almost four decades since I was last in this space, and Vermont holds more ghosts for me and Suzie now than it once did. Still, it felt peaceful and calm, and the quiet morning was a welcome get-away form the stresses of work and reality.
From there we stopped for a coffee and some breakfast, the former of which Suzie mostly gave to her pants, while the latter was some banana bread I’d made the night before – another echo of childhood traditions. Yes, these were the same pants Suzie wore on our summer trip to Boston, as evidenced in this post. But they worked, and she found a Pendleton coat that matched them precisely. More on that in a separate post, as a Suzie Fashion Show is a rare occurrence that must be honored accordingly.
We made a few shopping stops, notably at the Marimekko outlet where Suzie found part of. possible wedding outfit and I found an apron. More on that later too. The rain had arrived – heavy and annoying and seemingly only wherever we went. We chose The Copper Grouse at the Taconic Hotel for our lunch, had a cozy lunch by the window while a fireplace crackled across the room, and made a new fall memory.
01
October
2021
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October
2021
Greetings October!
Today we are hosting the Ilagan twins for our annual Fall Treasure Hunt – a tradition started when they were just a few wee years old and has survived more or less intact, even in the face of COVID (when we kept things entirely outside). I have a few new trick sup my sleeve, and for a two-nighter I’m going to need all the tricks I can find.
The calendar has already ticked to October, so let’s celebrate the full-fledged arrival of fall with a look back at a the last decades of Octobers here.
October 2011: Which was mostly Madonna and shirtless guys.
October 2012: Which was mostly about soap and the Beekman Boys and shirtless guys.
October 2013: Which was mostly about jockstraps, honey, and shirtless guys.
October 2014: Which was mostly about flowers, football, and shirtless guys.
October 2015: Which was mostly about Ogunquit, fall foliage and shirtless guys.
October 2016: Which was mostly about Halloween outfits.
October 2017: Which was mostly about Halloween music and NYC.
October 2018: Which was mostly about hunks and PVTRD.
October 2019: Which was a little deeper than usual.
October 2020: Which was a walk in the woods.
01
October
2021
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October
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Jillian Bell
One of my guilty holiday movie pleasures is ‘Office Christmas Party’ with Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston. It’s also got some scene-stealing antics by Kate McKinnon, so to even make an impression amidst this requires a comedic skill only Jillian Bell could conquer, and her turn as a pimp in this is easily my favorite part of the whole hilarious escapade. While that put her on my map, it was her revelatory performance in ‘Brittany Runs a Marathon’ that cements her as an actress with dramatic and comedic skills. For those two works alone she earns this Dazzler of the Day.
01
October
2021
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October
2021
My Fall Fragrance: Accord Oud by Byredo
It was on my birthday trip to Boston this summer on which I discovered the oud offerings from Byredo. That house has never been one to produce particularly potent scents – they err on the lighter side of things – whispers of elegance ad slivers of sophistication – but nothing strange enough to merit the higher price points. (‘Black Saffron’ is one of the main exceptions.) They have a pair of oud frags – ‘Oud Immortal’ and ‘Accord Oud’ – and it was between these two that I was torn.
After sampling both, I decided on the ‘Accord Oud’ and its rich, leathery darkness. Opening with a powerhouse trio of blackberry, saffron and rum – it has elements of the exquisite ‘Straight to Heaven’ By Kilian and and undercurrent of Tom Ford‘s ‘Oud Wood’ and ‘Tuscan Leather‘. After a while, the scent deepens with the leather accord, clary sage and patchouli – and the rollercoaster has begun.
The first time I tried it, the city was hot and humid, and I showered it off after an hour or so – much too soon to get the full fragrance journey, especially of this beast. Still, it was enough to sell me – except for the Boston Saks, which did not have this one in stock. I had to wait to order it online from Bergdorf and Goodman. You snooze on your inventory, you lose on a sale.
It arrived a few days later, and when the calendar clicked to fall, I hastened to give it an office whirl. All the excitement and anticipation for a new fall fragrance – something I’d missed during the stay-home doldrums of 2020 – was dampened with a disappointing first time out. It smelled more synthetic and harsh than I remembered, and then it tapered quickly off – the worst of both worlds. Luckily, that may have only been the first few squirts of the bottle, for the next few times I tried it, the magic of that first try was back in full effect.
This is testament to the notion that the mark of a decent perfume or cologne – and how it performs – depends on numerous individual factors, and requires time to fully appreciate and understand. When this goes on me now, it still develops differently each time, and it varies based on whether it lands on my clothing or skin. The last time I tried it there were elements of Tom Ford’s ‘Soleil Brulant’ in the best possible way, when it rose up after a full day on the front of my shirt. On quiet days, and when it stays close to my skin, the leather is what comes out most. I like such unpredictability in our vastly unstable world, and I’ve come to appreciate it more than ever.
30
September
2021
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September
2021
Hints of the Holidays
We didn’t really have a holiday season last year, and it’s much too soon to know what this holiday season will be like, but I’m hopeful. While it’s a bit too soon to be diving into Christmas and ho-ho-ho shit, despite what the stores would have you believe, I’m not going to hate on anyone who wants to get a hump start on the season if it makes them happy and gives them a bump of joy. We are in far too much despair to begrudge anyone that. And to be honest, I may be indulging in extra holiday celebration this year, even if it means sitting alone in the Boston condo, listening to Christmas music and decorating the fireplace mantle for the first time in two years. This summer, after a typical rainy day, I found these holly leaves glistening in the overcast light, and they seemed like a harbinger of the year to come. Pretty, with a bit of sparkle, yet soaked in the melancholy tears of the universe.
What will this upcoming holiday season bring? Hopefully cozy times with my husband and family and friends, and the simpler joys of life for those of us with the luxury of still being here. Last year was a complete and total bust, and we are all still feeling it. May this season be a little better. May we be a little kinder. May we love a little more.
30
September
2021
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September
2021
Dazzler of the Day: David Pevsner
This rather naked day on the blog feels especially fitting for the Dazzler of the Day, David Pevsner, who earns his first crowning thanks to a decades-long show-business career, as chronicled thrillingly by his book ‘Damn Shame: A Memoir of Desire, Defiance, and Show Tunes’ – which just about says it all. With another penchant for modeling in the buff, Pevsner appeals to the spectacular space where art and beauty and the human body collide. A Renaissance man in the truest senses of the term, Pevsner has just about done it all – and all of it pretty magnificently.
30
September
2021
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September
2021
Tell Me You’re Naked Without TELLING Me You’re Naked
This is admittedly a bit of a click-bait-and-switch post, because some people only enter here with the titillating possibility of gratuitous nudity. There is never judgment about such intentions – a click is a click is a click – and clicks actually don’t mean anything on this profit-free non-monetized website. Yet as I approach the latter half of my forties (well, not so much approach as exist within it) I find the desire to share some practices that make life better the older I get, and one of the main ones is deliberately making the effort to maintain a degree of mindfulness at all times.
We rush and we work and we go through the motions of any given weekday with the express intent of simply getting through it, getting on with it, getting it out of the way so we can enjoy the weekend – and then we never quite make of it what we wanted to make of it. Even those weekends that do turn into something magical and memorable, are quickly forgotten within the first few moments of Monday morning mayhem, erased instantly as if they never even happened at all. How do we capture that and make Monday more like Sunday, and Tuesday more like Saturday? For me it’s in finding the little joys of mindfulness, and taking breaks and pauses to reconnect to the peace and silence that meditation can conjure.
Does that mean stopping your work day and heading to the nearest spa for an extended massage on your lunch hour? No – though I wish. That’s not really practical or possible for most of us. But can we pause in our day to do some deep breathing, to get away from the desk and take a walk, to simply stand up and step outside for a moment to find whatever joy is at hand and in the air? Absolutely. It’s about being mindful and slowing down the racing thoughts that too often occupy our mind when we could and should be focused on being as present as possible.
It begins with the very start of the day, in the otherwise-mundane motions of a shower. After 46 years, I’ve pretty much mastered the seven-minute shower, and for most of those years it always felt like a race – against the clock and against the cacophony of thoughts running through my head as the day began. In what should have been a peaceful and calm entry into the day was usually a rushed and jumbled mental marathon that left me spent by the time I turned the water off and started toweling off. The shower was efficient and effective in getting me cleaned and waking me up, yet it did little to set my mind at ease.
When I started reading up on mindfulness, the morning shower seemed the most basic place to begin. I slowed down my thoughts by focusing only on the present moment – the water, the heat, the soap, the scent – and all of the sensual aspects of a shower were enough to quell the bustling freight train of worries that would usually be barreling through my head. If done with enough concentration, it worked quite well, and eventually the concentration required became more habit than concerted effort, which is when mindfulness really takes off and starts bleeding helpfully into other areas of life.
It doesn’t happen with every shower. Some days you just have to get in and out to make it into the office on time, and you have to tick through the duties of the day just so you won’t forget something. But for the most part, my mornings are more peaceful, and the rest of the day more energized, when I practice such mindfulness.
29
September
2021
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September
2021
September Flaming Out
Tomorrow is already the last day of September – and just like that it goes up in flames as only September can do. Such a tricky month, and so fraught with drama and the possibility of a fall – the season and the act. We demand the burn, we drive the fire, we want something to make us feel again. And so we have September, who begins entrenched in the happiness of summer, and feels for some time like she’ll hang onto her summer garb forever, only to shrug it off like so many falling leaves.
Then, just when you think she’s done with the vibrancy of summer days, she turns into fall, setting herself gorgeously aflame in colors that couldn’t shine quite as brilliantly in the sunny season. Somehow fall matches that vibrancy with its emotional journey.
‘The sun is going down, it’s getting dark…‘
‘I’ve got the dreams, I’ve got the style, I’ve go the moves to make you smile…’
‘I had my share, I drank my fill, and even though I’m satisfied I’m hungry still…‘
29
September
2021
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September
2021
Dazzler of the Day: Shiloh Fernandez
This Dazzler of the Day goes out to my friend Josie, who recommended Shiloh Fernandez as the Dazzler/Hunk that this website has needed. He’s been seen in a wildly varied collection of work so far – from the television series ‘Jericho’ and ‘United States of Tara’ to the films ‘Deadgirl’, ‘Red Riding Hood’, and ‘The Birthday Cake’. No doubt more magic is on the way from that sultry stare.
29
September
2021
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September
2021
Cinnamon Remembrance
Fall has always been signified by the scent of cinnamon buns offset by the brisk, foggy chill of mornings that had no right being disturbed. School and work refused to honor such a system, and so I’d find myself in various places inhaling that morning scent of breakfasts enjoyed by others – in the homes of neighbors as we waited for their kids to join us on the way to school, on the campus of Brandeis, or the streets of Boston as I hurried to work at John Hancock or Structure for my fledging jobs. On this morning, as I heat up a cinnamon roll that Suzie made, I am reminded of the campus walk at Brandeis.
The office of the registrar (and I’m not going to even pretend to know exactly what that is) was not a place I ventured regularly. I can actually only remember one or two times I sat there waiting for something – maybe a copy of my transcript – and I still don’t know for what. The building was relatively near my dorm, and every morning there was a delicious scent coming from within – cinnamon rolls or other sweet pastries – which tantalized and tortured, because even when I went inside there were none to be seen – only their lingering aroma was in evidence.
As I sat there waiting for them to open one day, I wondered what exactly the office did. It feels more familiar to me now, as I seem to be in a similar administrative role in my current job, not directly or concretely working toward the specific task and mission of the agency, but working for the Human Resources side of it, for the administration of procedures that allow an office to operate. Such behind-the-scenes operations were always mysteriously glamorous to me. I understood they were needed to make a university or state office run efficiently, that they were there as a protection of sorts, and they were conduits of executing applicable laws and regulations. I would come to view all Human Resources and Personnel departments in the same way, not knowing or even thinking I would one day join their ranks. For that moment, they were the mysterious gatekeepers, who could stand in the way or grant passage, making life easy or more difficult, and I both despised and admired them for that. I also took all that I was feeing to heart, perhaps having some premonition I would be in a similar position and want the grace and decency to treat others as I wanted to be treated.
But the main thing I remember is the fragrance of those cinnamon rolls, and that became inextricably bound to the start of fall. Brandeis was quiet in the early mornings, and I was one of the rare students who preferred the early classes for precisely that reason. As I traipsed up the hill near the Hassenfeld dorm, I breathed in the cinnamon-tinged air and welcomed the embrace of change, the scary thrill of the unknown. That fall morning memory fades, ducking behind a grove of maple trees with their leaves just starting to change… and another one forms.
28
September
2021
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September
2021
Mysterious Magic in the Garden
There was a puppet stand, and a woman dressed head to toe – or tail – as a mouse.
The mouse nodded, for I did not see it at first, hidden slightly behind a make-shift puppet stand.
The stand held masks and puppets and mysterious objects that were surely laden with charms or curses or spells.
Backing away, and sensing danger or trouble, I moved into the sunnier and safer section of the Garden.
On that day, I would not be tricked by magic or enchantment.
On that day, I would not fall.
