A Fall Adventure with the Twins – Part 2

The beauty of Vermont enveloping us, we made our way into Manchester, where we parked the car and began our walking adventure. All I knew was that the Riverwalk was somewhere nearby, and Suzie said it looked like it was fun for kids. I did a quick internet search and found it easily enough, and when we saw its location, we decided to save it until after lunch. 

Lunch would be a sad set of pre-made sandwiches from a place ill-equipped to handle a Saturday rush (the lone worker there had twelve custom sandwich orders ahead of us, hence the selection of pre-made ones). We took them to a bench beside the waterfall near the beginning (or end) of the Riverwalk, where the setting was enough to enjoy the limited food and quell the complaints of picky kids. 

The sun was still attempting to break through the clouds, which made for an interesting and pretty sky. By the time we descended to the Riverwalk (which was really not much more than a path by a stream) slivers of sunlight scattered through the tree-tops, illuminating the little patch of woodland below the stores and cafes of Manchester. 

We wound our way along the path, crossing the stream on a questionable log at one point (I can talk about it now because we managed to survive without incident or fall), then we made our way back up into the village for a dessert of Starbucks (after I listened to Noah tell us where Ben & Jerrys was – and then it wasn’t). We made do with the hot chocolate and brownies there before getting back on the road to return home for the official treasure hunt. 

A long poem of instructions included a stop by our front door to obtain these scarves as talismans of protections against whatever coming Halloween spirits may wish us ill, and the twins gamely wound their excessive length around them for the journey. I’d crocheted them earlier this fall to brush off my rusty crochet needle, and Emi had selected the color schemes for her and Noah on their last visit here. 

(Suzie had instructed me to make them extra long, offering further evidence that I shouldn’t really listen to Suzie, or anyone dressed like this for that matter.) Luckily, folding them into fours turned them into a manageable, if slightly bulky, size. And the twins were just happy to be on another treasure hunt, which wound through the front yard, around the side, and into the backyard. They found all the required elements to result in a spell that found their Halloween goodie baskets magically appearing where we had started off, and Andy was suddenly nowhere to be found, so it couldn’t have been him…

After taking them to a quick dinner at Smashburger, we created a card for Andy and presented him with a gift of maple syrup (the same gift we’d bring their Dad and Lola). While I may have instigated this, they crafted the card on their own that read “Fall vibes coming your way… so we went all the way to Vermont to find you some syrup today!” 

More heartwarming and sweet was what happened after they gave him their present. We were heading back upstairs for a meditation session when Noah paused and went back to Andy and gave him a hug without any prompting. He then rushed back to Emi and told her to do the same – so Uncle Andy got two hugs from two little relatives who love him very much

Back in the attic, we lit three candles and I taught the twins how to do a candle meditation. I was expecting more giggles and laughs and tomfoolery, but once I set the timer for five minutes, they quieted instantly, closed their eyes, and went into their deep breathing for the full five minutes. I followed that lead and kept the breath steady and deep, and when it was over and the phone gently chimed its time up, Emi asked if we could do another two minutes, to which Noah exclaimed that was exactly what he was thinking. So we went two more minutes in silence and peace. It was the highlight of my weekend with them. I took a quick photo in the dim light, which is at the end of this post and the start of the first one – it looks like some enchanted painting rather than a phone photo, proof that some things in the world are not to be fully understood, that such enchantments can only be felt and experienced rather than explained. 

[This is apparently a drawing of me in my floral shirt.]

We watched a couple more movies, called it a very late night, and everyone went to sleep almost instantly. The next morning we moved slowly into the rainy day before heading over to dinner at Lola and Lolo’s. Another Fall Treasure Hunt weekend was in the books, and at eleven years old, the twins may not have many more in them, so I’m treasuring this one and savoring the joy and love it contained.

Continue reading ...

A Fall Adventure with the Twins – Part 1

One of the only things that didn’t get canceled in 2020 was our annual Fall Treasure Hunt with the twins. This year may have surpassed last year’s doozy, even without the smoke machine and painted pumpkins, as we had a whole weekend of fall adventures that led us all the way to Manchester, Vermont.

It began after school on Friday, when I picked Noah and Emi up from Amsterdam and we arrived to pretzel bites and pizza, which we ate on the patio, taking advantage of the last lingering warmth and sunlight of early October. In a year in which just about every single weekend has been marred by rain and foul weather, this was a gift. The twins settled their things into their attic room and we went over the rough itinerary for the weekend (they seemed to enjoy an agenda even more than I enjoy creating one!) 

After that, we moved into the cellar, where Noah practiced his pool table skills while Emi illustrated her sewing and drawing prowess, creating some of the artwork you see here. I’d planned on reading them a few of the milder stories from the poorly-written childhood classic ‘Scary Stories to Tell Children’ which was more about the frightening illustrations than the stories themselves. 

We decided to do that early in the evening so they wouldn’t have to go to bed if there was a fright conjured, and that was wise planning. I lit candles and read to them from the chaise lounge in the corner of the attic while they huddled in the safe zone of the bed. They only wanted two – well, Emi was game for more but this was a democracy, and I wanted this to be a fun weekend, not something too traumatic this early on.

From there we went back downstairs and did a bracket to vote on which movie to watch that night. (The only way to determine such things is through a voting process because with these twins there is no such thing as compromise or agreement.) I could be the deciding vote if it was tied, and thus it was that ‘Sleepy Hollow’ was selected from a field of eight other contenders. We’d employ this process for all the movies we watched.

Once the movie was done, we ascended to the attic bedroom once more, where I sat them down to do our first meditation session. As expected, it was filled with laughter and an utter inability to focus and actually meditate, but that’s the point of the first lesson. We needed that outlet for the silliness and the novelty of the practice. Setting the timer for exactly five minutes, we did at least two in deep breath and silence, and that was about the best we could have gotten. I tucked them into bed, even though it was still rather early. I was exhausted and went right to bed.

The next morning we got up and I made them a couple of breakfast sandwiches before hitting the road to Manchester, Vermont and our planned riverwalk experience. Suzie had found it on the previous week’s outing, and it looked like the perfect destination for two young adventurers. 

On our way, we paused at the little stream behind the former Candle Mill so I could show them where their Dad and I used to dip candles when we were kids. We got as close as we could and posed for photos before the stream. Another generation touched by the beauty of Vermont in this little section of a stream, and a fall memory of mine is now infused into a fall memory of theirs. Legacies aren’t always formed from efforts of majesty or might. 

The air was chilled, but the sun was fighting its way through the high clouds, and as long as there was no rain, this would be a happy day. The twins seemed energized by the change in scenery, and I too felt invigorated by the beautiful environs surrounding us. 

We got back in the car and drove the rest of the way to Manchester… [To be continued.]

Continue reading ...

The Candle Knows

On certain days, when no matter how much effort you put into remaining calm and distant from the maelstrom of madness that is survival you still run up against walls of chaos and obstacles of derision, the only thing to do is give in to the defeat, and succumb to the melancholy. The very act of surrender can sometimes be the surprising solution to a problem that gnaws at you without ever fully revealing itself. 

In the light of a candle, an absolute mystery and miracle when you think about it, there is a secret that is only hinted at, only ever partly revealed. You cannot completely predict which way the flame will bend, where the edge of light will flicker and fade. It wavers and wanders, defying order and orders, dimming or glowing as only it sees fit. Sometimes the candle’s flame stays perfectly still. Sometimes, even in the stillest and most motionless room, the candle’s flame flickers and bounces. 

Only the candle knows why.

Continue reading ...

Lime Curry Yogurt Treat

Suzie sent me a recipe that was a disaster save for this curry lime yogurt sauce. I employed it here for some roasted butternut squash. The recipe is simple: about 1 cup Greek yogurt, the juice and zest of one lime, a tablespoon (or more depending on your taste) curry and a teaspoon or two of turmeric. Salt and pepper to taste, and mix well, then use on just about any roasted vegetable. This also makes a fine dip for something different on your charcuterie boards, or, even better, for some home-fried potatoes. The possibilities are endlessly delicious. 

Continue reading ...

Ben Cohen Gets the Foxy Treatment

One of the greatest photographers of Ben Cohen, Leo Holden of Snooty Fox Images, just announced the completion of some shots for a new Ben Cohen calendar. These always sell out, so as soon as it’s available I suggest you order yours. I love when artistic collaboration yields such magnificent results. Holden captures the blending of beauty and brawn that is Ben Cohen at his most remarkable, lending a gravitas that imbues these images with something that surpasses the simply salacious. Cohen has a history of being much more than a pretty face and body, documented in part here. Regarding Holden’s impressive photography work, please visit his site here

Continue reading ...

Borne Back By Night

Borne back by the night, by the song of a piano in the fall, I stumble into something that feels like crying, or a heaviness of the heart that doesn’t quite lift when it should. Like a house at the turn of a stream, where the water forever falls, even in the hottest and happiest summers, the heart stands still while the world flows around it. 

Looking into the rush of the water, I see stones that have kept their stillness and place,  unbothered by the babbling around them, undisturbed by the algae, untouched by the fish – I try to embody the implacable peace and resignation of those stones, the way they so calmly exist without intruding. Longing for that stillness, I imagine sinking beneath the water and beneath the silence – beneath the fall and the winter and the spring to come – and there is a tranquility in that space. 

There is a little sliver of grace in that moment – the water ever flowing, never the same, never replenished and yet never-ending. Masters of mindfulness sometimes offer the image of a pebble dropped into a stream to aid in achieving a state of meditation, the idea of the pebble sinking straight down despite the swirl of water around it. While water plants and animals swim and undulate in the currents of the stream, the pebble stays to its quick path, then remains where it lands – a point of absolute stillness and serenity no matter what madness whirls about above it. 

I yearn for the certainty of that, for the grace of being within that stillness. We each seek it in our way, at least I hope that we do. It seems like such a noble quest. I want to believe we all want to be better, even as the world batters me with the irrefutable news of how awful we can be to one another. And then I wonder if maybe the world is already broken, like a tree that splits and crumbles under its own weight and some other unforeseen disaster, irreparable and irreplaceable, and we can only live in a place that’s forever fractured. 

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Chris Meloni

We love a hot zaddy in these parts, so it’s well past time that Chris Meloni was honored with this Dazzler of the Day feature. Meloni has been a Hunk of the Day here in the past, offering a better glimpse of his assets, but since that feature was updated, it’s time he’s been officially named Dazzler. He’s been especially happy to engage with and encourage his growing contingent of gay fans, happy to acknowledge where some of his bread is buttered. The shots seen here are from a recent Men’s Health cover story, because Meloni is clearly the epitome of heathy and hotness. His Twitter feed is also evidence how how to be a celebrity and remain true to who you are as a person, while promoting equality and justice. 

Continue reading ...

More Truth to Power

“This problematic dynamic extends beyond closed -off communities, or even the confines of a coffeeshop, to impact virtually every fragment of our broken socioeconomic framework. Only witnessing white people fulfilling the specific roles leads to the confused, equally damaging belief that only white people can fulfill certain roles; this brutal falsification is integral to marring Black advancement across a wide spectrum, while marshaling in mediocrity and impugning progress from the business world to the world of sports. Only seeing white CEOs or white head coaches, or, applying such clinical perplexity, are more qualified for these positions. The whole notion of “quality” has hence become synonymous with white skin. Where those attempts to redress discrimination will almost certainly inspire ballyhoo about reverse discrimination – or the belief that more qualified persons will thereby lose out – it suggests that diverse hires will always suffer from those fires of deformation. It is this intrinsic stigma that subjects us to perpetual setback in the supercilious eyes of the majority. 

Conjecture that quality, not race, should solely determine opportunity hints at something even more revealing than any babble that Black folks must therefore be inferior. It lets on that those entities enjoying unfettered opportunity cannot bear the thought of standing in the shoes of those whose race has impacted their opportunities or lack thereof. By all accounts, such an exercise, contemplating the idea that, due to unfairness, one could suffer a staggering reversal of fortune, is scary to the point of panic, a prospect that most individuals find truly foreboding.

By expressing pique at the idea their own person could be devalued due to such a superfluous matrix as race indicates that the answer staring them right in the face, that true lightbulb moment, need not be unplugged through indignation – as such umbrage comes at the expense of enlightenment. Primacy always has a funny way of tripping up progress in these moments, with hubris lapping humility in mere seconds. Yet such a flagrant lack of logical thinking is to me, and most marginalized people, incomprehensible. It means the resultant lack of representation in American spaces is nothing but illogical yet, given their unabashed petulance, likely to persist

What this really means is that even an overqualified African American cannot contend with such chronic unconscious bias and widespread resentment. We could set ourselves on fire and still not be able to compete with these contortions – try as we might, we still cannot actually be seen, or rather accepted for both who and what we are. Because our world, rife with imbalance, continues to reflect a particular, even peculiar reality, many boldly choose to accept that outcome, ignoring iniquity because of its personal benefits, preferring instead to view this warp as happenstance not habit, or inconsequential when it is all too encouraged.”

~ Cyrus McQueen, ‘Tweeting Truth to Power’

{You may purchase the complete book here.}

Continue reading ...

Mossy Moment

This was just a moment in the woods. 

A mossy moment.

Continue reading ...

Dazzler of the Day: Tabitha Brown

Meet the woman who introduced me to TikTok, and whose presence is the only reason I’m on there anymore, or any social media for the most part, as I find myself exhausted and disappointed by the awfulness of it all. This is Tabitha Brown, whose indefatigable energy and glorious energy is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise-troubling online world. Brown exudes a spirit of peace and tranquility, of healthy living, and of unbridled optimism. Her new book ‘Feeding the Soul (Because It’s My Business)’ is a beautiful encapsulation of her mantras and way of life, and is an inspiration for those of us in need of a little lift. She is our Dazzler of the Day for all these reasons and more. See her website here for further evidence of her magnificence. 

Continue reading ...

These Little Asters

Another hint of a woodland walk, these little asters run rampant throughout the woodland edge of my parents home, and I see them all over at this time of the year. Unremarkable on their own – the blooms are small and unimpressive – they make their effect when viewed close up, or en masse, when they appear like pretty little clouds tinged with lavender and pink. In a dreary start to the week, they make the day a little brighter. 

Continue reading ...

Asters & Berries & Twins, Oh My

The Fall Treasure Hunt weekend 2021 will be chronicled here soon enough, but not this soon. A few days of recovery and recuperation from the whirlwind that was the Ilagan twins are necessary. It was actually quite a fun weekend, one that captured the magic that is the eleven-year mark. Before that, however, I offer a few photos of fall in fruition to truly tick the next seasonal chapter. 

The forest is filled with such fruit at this time of the year – a bit of recompense for letting the summer slip away. The colors are more subdued but the form is finer, their intricate architecture the real beauty at hand. 

Scattered along the edge of the woods are these purple asters, little stars and explosions of color in a world where much of it has begun to drain. 

These bring back memories of walking the Marginal Way in Ogunquit, that beautiful place by the sea that has been calling to me of late. I’m setting a goal of making it back there next spring. 

For the moment, the memory conjured by this fall beauty will have to suffice. 

 

Continue reading ...

The Day After October 3 Recap

October has arisen and the weather has made its official turn into fall. We’ve tried to keep the pool going but it’s been a losing battle with the cooler temperatures. That’s ok – making  the shift to fall is better when it’s embraced. Change can be good. On with the recap…

In bed in Boston.

Garden mystery.

Cinnamon remembrance.

September flame-out.

Tell me you’re naked without TELLING me you’re naked

Holiday hints.

Accord Oud: fragrance of the fall.

Greeting October.

Vermont escapade with the bestie.

Suzie strikes a pose

Woolly fur.

A visitor named Chip.

Gratuitous Lenny Kravitz post

JoJo’s candy store

Dazzlers of the Day included Max Harwood, Richard Grant, Shiloh Fernandez, David Pevsner, and Jillian Bell.

Continue reading ...

JoJo’s Candy Store

Behold the sweet treat of the season – that polarizing bit of sugary nonsense known as candy corn. I don’t abhor it, I don’t adore it – I could take it or leave it and not be the least bit bothered one way or another.

I do understand the love it or loathe it aspect it inspires. There are moments when I crave its synthetic sweetness, and moments when I find its waxy texture off-putting. My friend JoAnn absolutely loves it, and I usually send her a batch come October. I would have done so this year but she’s on a health kick and I refuse to be a saboteur. Instead, she gets this virtual gift for visual feasting and guilt-free eye-indulgence. Enjoy my friend. 

Continue reading ...

A Gratuitous Lenny Kravitz Post

This is posted for the feature image alone, showing Lenny Kravitz at age 57. 

Fifty-fucking-seven. 

I will never have abs like that at any age. 

Never did, never will. 

And that’s ok.

PS – Bonus shot of Jason Momoa, just ’cause. 

Continue reading ...