A Meditative Walk in the Woods

This wasn’t my first time walking along the Sassafras Trail in my hometown of Amsterdam, NY in the fall. For some reason, I usually find myself making the trek at this time of the year, though I’ve made promises to return in the spring when the leaves are more chartreuse than golden. Fall is often when I find myself drawn into the woods – one last chance at mingling with whatever life remains out and about (and there is lots, as evidenced by the many stands of ferns, the clusters of asters in full bloom, and great swaths of horsetail reed enjoying the damp conditions by the stream). 

The light was different on this day, brighter and warmer than it was on my previous visit in the fall. The further down the path I went, the dimmer it got, but it was early enough in the afternoon that the sun always maintained its touch on the trees. 

It helped that the leaves were so bright and brilliant, adding to the illumination and setting the forest aflame. This was a soothing fire, a calm and contemplative burning that felt like a balm upon the soul. Beneath my feet, the leaf-laden forest floor was spongy and soft, lending further comfort to the walk. 

Gradually meandering downward, the path led to a stream bed, sunken lower into the earth. As the forest rose around me, there was an even more hushed aspect to this space. Every step and snap of a stick resounded through the air, and the sounds of the stream water felt wondrously amplified. There was occasionally the cry of a bird, and at one point a distinctive knocking, jarring at first, until I discovered the origin was a woodpecker coaxing its dinner out of a tree. 

More life revealed itself as my eyes adjusted to the subtlety of the woods. Mosses and mushrooms made their homes between the reaching roots of tree trunks, lichens lined fallen branches and stones, and ferns dangled their lacy fronds with delicate grace and elegance. The forest was refined in its reserved way. 

Midway on this journey, as I stopped to listen to the gurgling stream and watch the water flow, it struck me that this was its form of meditation, and I decided to try my daily practice right there and then. It was a bit of a mixed bag – going into deep breathing while moving along an undulating forest path does not quite make for easy meditation, but I was able to be momentarily mindful of where I was and what I was experiencing, and that was a start. 

It’s best not to force such a thing, and my slow and thoughtful walk was meditative in its own way without needing to formalize the process. A walk in the woods has always been a cathartic experience for me, going back to the many afternoons in my childhood when I would come home from school and rush into the little stretch of forest behind our house, getting almost lost for hours until it was time for dinner, until the light drained from the sky and the woods felt suddenly dangerous. I was keenly aware of that switch, because it came on quickly, and if you were too deep into the forest the walk back could instantly be fraught with fear. 

No such fear gripped me on this day, as the sun’s light never wavered. I took my time coming back up along the trail, gazing upward every few steps to witness the lofty wonder of the trees in all their colorful sorcery. Their magic will manifest itself differently in just a few weeks, when they will rise bare against the stark sky – a magic that will have to carry them through the winter. 

The shifting of the seasons was brought to mind as I came upon this surprising re-bloom of a witch hazel tree. It hung in the air at eye level like some canary-hued spider, or a yellow star confirming my direction, and I took it as a symbol of hope that spring would return. Normally witch hazel is the first bloom to appear after winter, often bravely unfurling its wrinkled beauty in the midst of late-season snowfall. Seeing it here now was a way of tying such disparate-seeming times together, a little cry of hope as some seasonal Pandora’s box closed itself tightly in preparation for the upcoming winter. 

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Shirley Horn by Candlelight

If you’re looking for a fix for the fall weather, might I suggest lighting a few candles and putting on Shirley Horn’s magnificent ‘Here’s to Life’ album, which formed the soundtrack to many a fall season in my long/short life. This song, ‘Quietly There’, is a pretty good indication of the languid but inspired delivery of Ms. Horn and the luscious string arrangements by Johnny Mandel that weave their gorgeous way through that entire album. 

A bit of an ambivalent love song, this is sparse of words, but oh what such wicked economy can conjure when coupled with a dramatic imagination. There is just enough here to tell your own specific story, or create something for someone else to live out. 

This post comes later in the day, after the sun has gone down, as the music is a little too deliciously moody for anything as vulgar as daylight. Dusk comes quickly now. These are bewitching hours, made more-so by music like this. 

I light this candle and watch it throw…

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An Awakening Recap

This is one of those seasonal mid-points that too often go unnoticed, those in-between classic days of a season that pushes time forward without us realizing it. With the sun and relatively warm temps, it felt like a holding pattern this past week even as we clicked the calendar days past the mid-point of October. Usually I don’t pause to notice this transition, and when I stop to take stock of fall we have moved into the dreary end days of November. This weekend, I felt the shift, and stopped for a walk in the woods. More on that later… for now a recap of the previous week as is our Monday morning ritual (well, with the occasional exception). 

A tattered Tuesday started the shorter week.

The animals know.

An autumn nocturne.

A fancy post for a simple necklace.

A crystalline journey.

The fire of a saint.

Finding an owl in a pear.

A letter to a mad, musical genius who is also a friend.

Our fall holiday weekend in Ogunquit reassembled itself after a few years of missing it. It was wonderful to be back at the Beautiful Place By the Sea, where the calming strokes of the ocean worked their customary magic.

This spectacular staging of Stephen Sondheim’s “Assassins” is currently playing at the Cohoes Music Hall and is very much worth a visit before it ends on October 30.

Dazzlers of the Day included Woody Woodbeck, Sam Perwin, Meryl Streep, and Meghan Trainor.

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‘Assassins’ Who Hit All Their Marks

Dangerously ahead of its time, Stephen Sondheim’s musical “Assassins” may have missed its mark when it premiered Off-Broadway in 1990, but finally came into its own with the currently-ill state of the world. At no other time in our history has a musical felt as eerily prescient and indicative of what ails us more than this show right now. That makes it less of a feel-good extravaganza, and more of a deeply-troubling treatise on what motivates the killer of an American President. As brought to glorious life (and death) by the Playhouse Stage Company at the Cohoes Music Hall, this production of “Assassins” hits all of its marks, taking deadly aim at what our society has become, and offering scant solutions other than the hopeful way art can sometimes transform history and ignite some sort of healing.

Directed tautly by Owen Smith, each assassin gets a turn in the spotlight, literally living out on stage the fame and notoriety that may, or may not, have been their purpose all along. In a brilliant stroke of casting, John Wilkes Booth is portrayed by Sam Perwin, whose towering stature is a nifty nemesis to the man whom his character took out in a theater (Abraham Lincoln). So begins a vaudevillian exploration of a series of assassins, or would-be assassins, that grabs the audience by the throat and never lets loose. 

Offering much-needed comic relief are the two women who hatch a plan to kill Gerald Ford. Defying her character’s infamous history, Michelle Oppedisano as Squeaky Fromme is a devious joy, while Brittany Martel as her would-be partner in crime, Sara Jane Moore, even manages to imbue an unfortunate dog incident with uproarious hilarity. Stealing the show with a musical theater emotional breakdown on a par with ‘Rose’s Turn’,  Dan Costello gives an absolutely devastating turn in his climactic number as Charles Guiteau.

Winding his guitar-playing way through the evening, The Balladeer posits questions for each of the assassins. Played by Daniel Jameson, who becomes Lee Harvey Oswald in a chilling, almost sympathetic transformation, it is a grounding and earnest performance in an evening of stellar across-the-board work. 

Sondheim’s music is at times a cross between the patriotic American bands and a circus show, perhaps the greatest embodiment of the current state of politics any writer could conjure, and when it premiered in 1990 perhaps it was too soon for the world to see just how bad it could get. By today’s standards, the musical feels almost tame, but just striking enough to be powerfully compelling. In fact, the many shots of modern-day news madness form the backdrop to the start and finish of the program, lending it an immediate gravitas that belies the gorgeous work in something like ‘Unworthy of Your Love’, which could have almost been an 80’s power ballad  – not at all inappropriate as sung by Marc Christopher’s John Hinckley Jr. and Oppedisano’s Fromme.

Without offering forgiveness or excuses, or even working overtime to make its titular characters too sympathetic, the musical does lend them new voices, soaring voices, that illuminate how each may have been a victim of loneliness, religion, poverty, or simply living in America at any given time. Our ills have caught up with us in the same way this show has caught up to the present moment. This production of “Assassins” is a must-see event for anyone who is discovering the musical for the first time, or revisiting it in the very moment it feels most resonant.

{“Assassins” is running at the Cohoes Music Hall through October 30. Find tickets here.}

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Autumn In Ogunquit – Part 3

Closing out our autumnal trip to Ogunquit is always more difficult than ending our Memorial Day weekend in that Beautiful Place by the Sea. This will be the last time we set foot here until next year, and next spring. The whole rest of fall lies in the way, along with the entirety of winter, and so it is sally with heavy hearts that we say goodbye. This year, however, there was a certain peace to it, and a certain sense of hope as we talked over returning sometime in the winter, as well as our definite rendezvous come May. 

Maybe we’re just more resigned and accepting of the winter, and it doesn’t hold the same fright and sorrow as it once did. Maybe we are just resigned to life. And maybe we soaked all the calming beauty and wonder of Ogunquit into our souls so that we know we can bring some of it back to see us through the months until our next visit. I’m going with the latter. 

One thing that we already miss is the daily breakfast by Anthony, which is easily the best part of the Scotch Hill Inn (and there are more than several great parts). Every day brings another masterpiece, culminating with this decadent butternut squash risotto. I was in absolute heaven.

Andy is entirely enamored with Anthony’s mother Rita, who is sometimes on hand to help out when things get hectic – she is also a highlight of staying at the Inn. Good company makes for a great vacation. 

As the weekend wound down – and a full Harvest moon shone all her beauty over sea and shore – we soaked in every last minute of being in Ogunquit together. 

The looks back will be fond ones, and the looks ahead will be hopeful. 

After all these years, Ogunquit remains a treasured sanctuary for us, a little place where we are at our best and most content, and when you realize you can access that here, in some small way we can bring a little bit of it everywhere. 

Until the return of spring…

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Autumn in Ogunquit – Part 2

Most good vacations blend into one happy amalgamation of bonhomie and giddy memories, and I wouldn’t give you a hour-by-hour playback of our time in Ogunquit anyway – no one likes looking at someone else’s vacation photos. Of course, that is precisely what I’m showing there, but it’s my blog, and it makes me happy, and that’s the whole point of this place. Come back tomorrow if you don’t want to see the majesty of our favorite seaside town. No offense taken. For those who remain, come along for the sunny days of a fall weekend in Maine, touched by beautiful scenes, delicious food, and the best company a husband could ask for. 

One of the grounding mainstays of any trip to Ogunquit is the Marginal Way. Come rain or shine, we usually find our way to this rightfully celebrated stretch of shoreline, where a two-plus-mile path meanders along the Atlantic Ocean, lending beautiful vistas and calming places to pause and take it all in. 

This year we walked in through the back door, starting from the Perkins Cove end as we’d driven down. Normally we walk the whole thing, stop for lunch, then walk back again. That was in our youth. We aren’t that young anymore, and so we did about three quarters of it, then turned back to return to the car and pick up some pottery for Mom from Perkins Cove. It was a lovely twist on a tradition that lasted for twenty years, and we are at the point where we must celebrate departures from tradition as much as tradition itself. 

Ogunquit is a small town, and after visiting for over two decades there isn’t always that much new under the sun. Sometimes simply starting a journey at what was usually the back end lends a new jolt and a new perspective. The last part of the Marginal Way is our favorite section anyway, and this isn’t the time to delay gratification. 

Enough talk from me. Enjoy the views… one more post on Ogunquit to come… 

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Autumn in Ogunquit – Part 1

Last May marked our first time back in Ogunquit after a few years away, and we so thoroughly enjoyed our bed and breakfast that we went back for a fall encore over a long weekend, the way we did before COVID derailed things and life got in the way. It was good to be back, and I’ll do my best to keep the writing to a minimum and let the photos speak for themselves. 

Ogunquit in fall was just as I remembered it, if slightly more crowded. The weather was stellar (which isn’t always the case) and when we arrived the temperatures were in the mid-70’s while the sun was shining brightly. It was the perfect re-entry for the place that always brings us such peace.

Innkeeper Anthony checked us in to the Scotch Hill Inn, and we settled into our favorite room. Ogunquit works its magic quickly and efficiently, and by the time we were all unpacked, we’d left the concerns of daily living behind and instantly ingratiated ourselves into vacation mode. 

Andy took a nap to make up for the drive (on which I mostly slept) while I took a re-introductory lap around some favorite haunts. The town was decked out for the season, and the afternoon light played its illuminating part.

Though it’s an invasive bane to some habitats, the vining bittersweet provides fall interest and color, so I can’t be entirely mad at it – nor could I pull it all out even if I wanted to. 

More gentle and welcome were all the asters, at the height of their bloom and taking their pride of place as the finale to the flowering season. 

As I wound my way back to the guest house, past the crux where river met ocean, I paused on a little bridge to give gratitude for being back in this Beautiful Place by the Sea, thankful that I was still mostly intact, still mostly at peace. Ogunquit brings that out in a person…

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Dazzler of the Day: Meghan Trainor

I’ve been a not-so-secret Meghan Trainor fan for years. She’s got a new album coming out the same day as Taylor Swift, and Trainor has never been one to shy away from a challenge. When her songs are this catchy and fun there’s enough room for more than one musical impresaria in our midst. Trainor has been delighting fans for her entire career with an uncanny knack at crafting pop songs that feel both warmly nostalgic and surprisingly prescient. When there’s a message and meaning behind the music, that makes it all the more glorious. Her latest single, ‘Don’t I Make It Look Easy’ warns of the dangers of social media, but does so in such a sweet and aurally-pleasing manner that it does indeed go down easy. Currently I’m all about the next single about to drop, ‘Made You Look’ which is all the rage on Tik Tok. For making us all look, and listen, she easily earns this Dazzler of the Day. (Be sure to watch for ‘Takin’ It Back’, her new album out October 21.)

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A Letter to a Mad Musical Genius, and a Friend

Dear Joe ~

Perhaps you’re too young (gimme some!) to remember a time when teenagers used to lock their bedroom doors, turn down the lights, put on a record and lie there just listening to an entire half hour of Side A from some glorious music-maker. Perhaps I’m too young to remember such a time (I do recall the cassette tape), but we were both teenagers once, and we both found some sort of escape from this wretched world through music. Back when the whole universe felt wrong, when there was no viable way to get out, and when the meaning of life seemed so utterly lost and elusive…

Listening to your ‘Samsara’ recital last night I felt the same thrill I got back in those teenage days, when life and death were very literal choices in the course of any given evening, and the only solace was to be found in the kindred spirits who came calling with certain music and certain songs. Your work was a cathartic journey through many paths, offering different portals to multiple planes. Vast of scope and rich with densely-layered sonic details, this was a beautifully-bonkers roller-coaster ride of epic electronica. A fully-realized multi-media trip that was reminiscent of the very best albums, when the artist took the listener along on a shared adventure, it felt at times like I was experiencing life in the 1880’s, 1980’s and 2080’s all at once – a striking past/present/future moment melded into one brilliant pastiche of sound and sight. 

The hours of work and editing, and trying and failing and trying again, that go into something of this magnitude are apparent. For just three seconds of imagery and music it could take three days of trial and error and dedication and craft. The immensity of layers and details, the consistent struggle to get things just right, and the ever-germinating seeds of doubt and dread – would this be good, would this be reviled, would this be ridiculed, would this be nothing? – and the resolve to trudge boldly ahead no matter the cost, no matter the outcome – you should know it was all seen and felt and keenly admired. It was all worth it.

In a weird way, it felt like you reached back in time to my teenage years, handed me a record to play, and saved my life for one night – a night that gave me all the nights that followed in a life I have come to honor and appreciate. There is healing in that, and healing something in the past is the stuff of only the most talented mystics and musicians. 

You, my friend, are the mad genius who takes his personal turmoil and tumult, boldly faces them down, and turns the fight into the stuff of beauty and art. You interpret the ancient lessons of the sages and point their well-won wisdom at our present-day demons through the modern machinations of technology. Of course it’s a futile battle, it’s a losing battle, it’s the ultimate cancellation of cancellations, but there you are, nobly drawing your synthesized musical sword and striking at the very heart of the possibility that none of it matters. Amid all the brutal thrashing and death-throes, you conjure a work that reflects your most singular, darkest secrets and fears, and somehow that work speaks to others. What was once your story is now ours, and there’s no more reassuring comfort than finding such camaraderie in a work of art. 

Thank you for sharing this powerful, challenging, thought-provoking recital with the world. 

With great admiration and awe

I remain, proudly, your friend,

~ A. 

PS – Can’t wait to hear the Halloween song!

[Listen to the full ‘Samsara’ performance here.]

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Finding An Owl In A Pear

You may have heard of a partridge in a pear tree, but have you ever found an owl in a pear? This sort of sorcery is what thrills me most about going through the simple motions of a morning. It’s a little bit of magic in a mundane task – carving out the heart of a pear before roasting – only to reveal the unexpected face of an owl. To open the mind to the possibility of such enchantments is a way of returning to childlike wonder – a portal to a more carefree time. 

To be observant is to be present on a whole different level. It allows for the space that makes room for whimsy to enter. I think we miss a lot of the beauty of the world because we are too rushed and unfocused to see how it’s all around us.

As for secret, surprise owls, that is the nature of such a magnificent creature. 

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The Fire of a Saint

This fall season on the blog has been fueled by fire and memories and some redemptive rage.  It’s featured the long-lost ‘FireWater’ project, a first and last letter to the first man who ever kissed me, these flaming feathers of fabulousness, and a fiery start that set the tone for what was, and still is, to come. These posts alone would have drained anyone, but I’m old hat at writing about experiences as a way of exorcising them, and this is more cathartic than any sort of therapy. So we shall continue on our flame-addled way, but not without a momentary respite, a pause in the hectic proceedings. 

…You got to soldier on, you know you can’t quit until it’s won…

Way back several years and several seasons ago, this song formed the impetus for a blog post on touring and traveling. It was all excitement and anticipatory delight – all bright lights and big city 80’s excess. It was, in many ways, an embodiment of my youth and childhood. A time of innocence and hope and happiness – the way everyone’s childhood should be. 

…You broke the boy in me but you won’t break the man…

Many years have passed since the first iteration of the song and my subsequent memories of it – years that proved I was no longer a boy. The man in motion I’d longed to become had begun to slow down. I’m 47 years old. Some days I feel every one of those years; some days I still feel like I’m twelve. Most days I feel a little more certain, and still a little bit lost. 

Listening to this acoustic version, by the original artist who sang it over those 80’s synths and manufactured beats, fills me with a strange sense of satisfaction, tinged with just the slightest bit of sadness at the way time has moved all of us along. With age does come a certain wisdom – mostly that wisdom is in the form of understanding how little I know, how much more there is to learn, how the search for perfection is a useless and futile quest. Inherent in such wisdom is a certain calm. The restlessness I once felt has subsided, the fire put out by experiencing quite a bit of life – sometimes too much – and the thirst for more has been quenched by the realization that there will always be more. No one can do it all. There is simply too much – too many places, too many people, too many options and opportunities.

In this age of immediate internet reach and instantaneous connection, the greatest rebellion is in slowing down and shutting it all off. Making the choice to disconnect and engage only when it truly matters, making experiences that count, making decisions that don’t consist mostly of going through the motions. These are the choices and edits that refine our new world, and how we choose to walk through it. For far too many years I was a man in motion, rushing to get through to the next event, the next experience, the next new thing. It was what I needed to do to make it through. Stopping was not an option. Stopping could very well have killed me, especially if it happened at the wrong time. Seeing the folly of that hectic pace has been one of the more difficult lessons, and one of the most rewarding. 

And so we slow things down with this song, pausing to watch the leaves fall, pausing to reflect and enjoy, pausing to take a few deep breaths before we soldier on…

…Just once in his life a man has his time…

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A Crystalline Journey

Do you always trust your first initial feelingSpecial knowledge holds truth bears believingI turned around and the water was closing all aroundLike a gloveLike the love that had finally, finally found meThen I knew in the crystalline knowledge of youDrove me through the mountainsThrough the crystal-like clear water fountainDrove me like a magnet to the sea

Sky mottled like a painter’s canvass, land and mountains undulating like the holding pattern of an ocean, the world around me signals fall as much as it signals forever. Carrying its secrets and mysteries, questions and non-answers, it is the foggy obfuscation of autumn that conceals and merely hints at its possibilities. If you’re looking for the key to life, it won’t be found amid such veiled beauty. I don’t even know if that key exists. Seems folly to have forged such a thing if no one can use it or share it. But that’s what humans do I suppose. 

How the faces of love have changed turning the pagesAnd I have changed oh, but you, you remain agelessI turned around and the water was closing all aroundLike a glove, Like the love that had finally, finally found meThen I knew in the crystalline knowledge of youDrove me through the mountainsThrough the crystal-like clear water fountainDrove me like a magnet to the sea, To the sea…

Why should fall posit these questions, this wonderment? And why should we bother with such wondering? Slumber awaits us all – the slumber of winter, the rest that the garden requires. We demand such a show from it from spring to summer – it deserves this reprieve. 

Meanwhile, the world runs wild around us, in the water of the sea – but that recent journey is yet to be posted. Not to worry, it’s on the way…

I turned around and the water was closing around meI turned around and the water was closing around meSeaThe seaI turned around and the water was closing around meAround me like a glove, around meAround me, oh, around meI turned around and the water was closing around me

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Dazzler of the Day: Meryl Streep

There is nothing I could possibly write that would live up to the wonder and majesty that is Meryl Streep as Dazzler of the Day, so… that’s all.

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Vibrant Hues Hanging in Rings Around the Neck

Spring and summer get all the glory when it comes to seasonal color – and rightfully so; no other seasons come close to their fresh chartreuse brilliance, the infinite strong shades of flower blooms, the sunsets and rises, and the way they world feels somehow more alive when it’s warmer out. 

Don’t sleep on fall though, whose enchantments may be more subtle, but are just as divine. 

It’s up to us to fill in the dearth of color with a snazzy shirt and necklaces of brightly-hued braids and beads. Fall will do the rest, with its gourds and amber waves and rainbow harvest. 

Fall blazes its own colorful path, you just have to look a little closer for it, dive in to deeper depths to experience its hidden beauty. It’s there for the finding, there for discovery, there to celebrate and enjoy if we allow ourselves to feel it. Perhaps it’s a quieter show, and all the more wondrous for it. It demands we lean in a little closer, and in so doing provides a greater intimacy that might otherwise be lost amid the cacophony of summer. 

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An Autumn Nocturne

The charming photo featured here is a glimpse of Troy, NY on a recent Saturday night on which we got to see the magnificent Rufus Wainwright perform at the Troy Savings Bank Music Hall. Clearly, the entire evening was an exercise in enchantment, and while this song has nothing to do with Mr. Wainwright, it felt like a fitting soundtrack to a fall night. 

Lord knows I love a nocturne. May this one lull you to sweet sleep. 

 

 

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