Hydran-Juxtaposition

This relatively fresh ‘Annabelle’ hydrangea bloom rests amid a sea of brown and decaying ‘Annabelle’ blooms, revealing the stark juxtaposition of old versus new in bright, clarion tones. Given the warmer-than-usual autumn weather we’ve had lately, this is an anomaly akin to the azalea blooms that have been appearing next to their fall-colored leaves. It’s slightly jarring to see such bright spring-like blooms next to the red and yellow autumn leaves about to drift away. It feels off, even if we can’t be mad about the gentler weather. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Priya Nair

Having had the privilege of meeting Priya Nair in person at several LGBTQ+ events in recent years, it’s always an honor to name a Dazzler of the Day when it’s someone I actually know. Priya first entered my social spheres when they were appointed as the Inaugural Edie Windsor, Marsha P. Johnson, and Sylvia Rivera New York State LGBTQ Fellow. Today Priya serves as the Deputy Chief Diversity Officer in the New York State Executive Chamber under Governor Kathy Hochul. With a degree from Vassar College, Priya was also named on City & State’s “Pride Power 100” list in 2019 and 2020, and there is certainly more dazzle to come. 

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Gone Majestically to Seed

While its summer foliage gets all the green glory, the towering stalks of this fountain grass have one more trick up their sleeves as they revealed the fluffy seed-heads to top off a banner growing year. I thought they were done with this flaming post, but I’m happy to be reminded that I sometimes speak too soon. 

When the skies begin to drain of blue, and cloud cover and shades of gray become the norm, these textural aspects of the garden will come into play, made more prominent by the lack of more competitive visual stimulation. It is then that the garden takes on a subtler, quieter element – an aspect that demands closer and extended examination and rumination to fully appreciate. A lesson of late fall and winter.  

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Requisite (& Gratuitous) Andrew Garfield Shirtless Shots

Matthew Rettenmund and his brilliant ‘BoyCulture’ blog have kept most of us abreast of the latest in shirtless celebrity shenanigans, as was the case in this report on Andrew Garfield going shirtless for GQ Magazine. Just sharing the wealth here, as I once promised that Garfield would be Hunk of the Day – in this tease that showed off Andrew Garfield’s naked ass no less – and which will have to become a Dazzler of the Day should more pics be released. Stay tuned… 

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Dazzler of the Day: Joe Phillips

A three-and-a-half decade career as an artist is a formidable and impressive feat to accomplish – and to see it mid-stream is a thing of wonder and beauty and inspiration all at once. Joe Phillips has managed such a marvel thanks to his talent at turning life into a work of art. More than that, he turns his daily existence into the stuff of creative magic and fantastical conjurings, as evidenced by the elaborate costumes and wardrobe he creates when attending various parties and events. Today he earns the Dazzler of the Day crown for overcoming hardships and still making the world a more exciting and beautiful place. Witness a more detailed look into his work and career at his website here: http://www.joephillips.com.

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Matcha Morning: Green Clouds

Easing into the day is an art most of us don’t make the time and effort to pursue. We sleep until the last possible minute, then rush and ramble through the preparatory things we need to do to simply function – a quick shower, a quick cup of coffee, a quick wardrobe selection – and after forty plus years it all becomes a habitual rush. When we arrive at the office or the classroom or even our desks at home, it is often as a frazzled mess of nerves and anxiety. For those of us with any level of social anxiety, the nerve-fraying is often much worse. 

To that end, I look back at how I’ve dealt with such morning mayhem, and it’s actually been rather simple. It’s also been something that came about naturally, in unforced and unplanned fashion, in one of those rare moments of your body and mentality forging a way that works for their needs. In this case, I made a habit of getting up much earlier than needed in order to afford a few moments of calm and relaxation before officially starting the day. 

This meant that at college I would rise well before anyone else, take a shower and head to the food hall for a very early, and very peaceful breakfast, which I would take alone and in silence, reading the newspaper like we did in the old days, and gently starting the mind. In later years, nervous about new jobs and new offices, I would employ the same tactic – rising much earlier than needed then sitting at my desk and slowly allowing the senses to wake, while building whatever confidence and emotional fortitude would be needed to get me through the day. That preparatory chunk of time – where I could sit in stillness and silence – was, now that I look back upon it, its own form of mindfulness and meditation, grounding me in ways that would prove helpful when dealing with whatever madness the world had in store. 

These days I do a much more formal and structured daily meditation, and I’m at the point where I don’t need as much preparation and calm to navigate the average day, but I still take a cup of matcha in the morning, pause to admire the morning be it sunny or sour, and gently ease into something as innocuous as a Tuesday morning. 

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Zac Efron Shirtless

It’s been a not-so-hot minute since we gratuitously featured a shirtless celebrity such as Zac Efron, and nobody does shirtless quite as well as Zac Efron does shirtless. Not sure which role this physique is for, or whether it requires any nude scenes, but I’m confident Efron has precisely what is needed. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Dave Woodman

While you may not know Dave Woodman by name or face, you certainly know him by his work. Woodman played an integral part in bringing ‘The Little Mermaid’, ‘Beauty and the Beast’, and ‘Aladdin’ to life during his tenure at Walt Disney Feature Animation. Widely and wisely credited as the triumvirate that formed yet another golden-age of animation, those three films stand as testament to a fertile and magnificent creative cycle of which Woodman was a pillar. Since then, his passion for his artwork has not waned, and seeing his work on social media is a joy when so much of social media has turned sour – for that alone he earns this Dazzler of the Day

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A Recap After Sunday Dinner

Sundays are family days – a tradition instigated by Mom when people started to gather again in a vaccinated world – and kept going as we make the most of our time with Dad. He doesn’t always make it into the dining room, as pictured here, so sometimes we will bring our plates into his room and share the meal there, as we did yesterday. It’s a shift, but after the past few years we are all more malleable, all willing to go with the flow. Now on with the weekly recap as we head into the holiday season…

It began with a head of gray hair, as everything does in the mirror these days.

A sweet treat makes any Tuesday more manageable.

An almost-full moon over Amsterdam.

Under a Maxfield Parrish sky.

Assuming the ax pose.

Fountains of gold.

The Madonna Timeline rises again.

At tea-time everybody agrees.

Music of madness.

The Pride Center Gala 2022 takes place this Friday.

Beneath the blood-red maple leaves of autumn.

The Full Beaver Moon.

You’re on your own, kid.

Likely the last daisies.

Dazzlers of the Day included Sexiest Man Alive Chris Evans, Maura Healey, Jason Momoa, and Chanel Lopez.

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Dazzler of the Day: Chanel Lopez

As the Deputy Director of LGBTQ+ Affairs for Governor Kathy Hochul at NYS Executive Chamber, Chanel Lopez carries a proud mantle of many firsts, something she has been carrying for a decade and a half of activism and advocacy for the transgender and gender-non-conforming community. Prior to her current position, Chanel was the Transgender Communities Liaison for the NYC Commission on Human Rights, which at the time made her the only openly trans women of color working in such a capacity. Today she continues her trailblazing ways and earns this Dazzler of the Day honor for all her efforts. 

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Likely the Last Daisies

When it’s still in the mid-sixties in almost-mid-November, there is a chance that the daisies seen here may not be the very last daisies. Given that we’ve had roses in December in previous years, anything can happen. Still, without any new buds on the way, it looks pretty certain that these Shasta daisy blooms will be the last the gardens puts forth this year. I am grateful they have been coming for this long, and seeing them beside the covered pool makes me realize we’ve made a pretty good headway into the fall. Every day we get a little closer to spring

On this Sunday morning, I’m appreciating a few quiet moments before the day begins in earnest. This is Etude by Joep Beving:

The weather is forecast to be rainy today, then growing colder, more aligned with the Novembers I remember. It will be a good day to make soup, or maybe just some tea, then to snuggle into something cozy – a sweater or a blanket or a couch. A good day to light a candle or two

And it will be a day to look out at the last two daisies and see how they are faring in this brutal world. 

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You’re On Your Own, Kid: The Art of Being Icky

While this post will not draw the cat-eye sharp enough to kill a man, the writer Michael Cunningham once remarked that writers are assassins, and I’ve always held that notion in my head when writing things out here. More harm can come from the unmitigated telling of truths than the judicious pruning and careful curating that certain sensitive artists might employ. For a messy personal blog like this one, largely unread on a mass, and even a private, scale, I don’t need to be as careful.  This has mostly been for my own creative exorcisms than anything grander, and all the little in-joking between me, myself and I is an indulgent whim, one that sees me through the average autumn evening. Sometimes there’s a song that goes along with it, as in this new one from Taylor Swift’s latest ‘Midnights’ album – a rather marvelous collection of moody songs conjured from the midnight hour. 

Summer went away, still the yearning staysI play it cool with the best of themI wait patiently, he’s gonna notice meIt’s okay, we’re the best of friendsAnyway

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashesI waited ages to see you thereI searched the party of better bodiesJust to learn that you never cared
You’re on your own, kidYou always have been

Lately I’ve been feeling that a little more – not in an abandoned way, more in a philosophical sense, made in midnight moments of contemplation and analysis – things that have traditionally proved problematic, so much so that I if I was able to scrounge up any remaining wisdom I should put all of it from my mind. Whenever I would get lost in this sort of overthinking and overanalysis during those difficult college years, the only way out was to ignore it for a few days, to allow the mundane actions of daily living to take over the tumultuous meanderings of the mind. There may be something to embracing the willful ignorance of the benign, some magic in knowing not to disturb the muck of the heart

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashesI gave my blood, sweat, and tears for thisI hosted parties and starved my bodyLike I’d be saved by a perfect kissThe jokes weren’t funny, I took the moneyMy friends from home don’t know what to sayI looked around in a blood-soaked gownAnd I saw something they can’t take away‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burnedEverything you lose is a step you takeSo make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste itYou’ve got no reason to be afraid

Now and then it’s good to be reminded that we are all, sooner or later, on our own. For someone rather accustomed to solitude, it’s no more than a friendly reminder. For others, it’s more troublesome, and the more we rely on others, the more dangerous it can prove to be. Yet the most dangerous thing may be to read into things too much. Whenever I find myself losing the way, when it feels like the world is gas-lighting me, I pause and step back. From myself, from the world, from the people who have populated and haunted my past. Rarely does anything good come of it, and this feeling is one of ickiness, a feeling without resolution, a feeling that has no possibility of resolution, and because of that the point of being so icky does not exist. I wish it did. Without purpose, messiness is just messy. If I’m going to get my hands dirty, I want a garden to show for it. 

You’re on your own, kidYeah, you can face thisYou’re on your own, kidYou always have been.

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The Full Beaver Moon

There is more than a little cheeky irony to the fact that I used to love beavers as a child. Yet it was absolutely true – I adored beavers. Did all my school projects on them, made dioramas of their lodges, read all I could read on how they raised their kits, and even had one of my birthday party celebrations at a place called Beaversprite, which was basically the house of a woman who had a beaver living in her basement. 

Yes, there are things most people don’t know about me still left to reluctantly admit, and my love of beavers is actually one of the less-embarrassing ones. 

This past Tuesday we had a full Beaver Moon, which sounds like an oxymoron, or at the very least some supremely confusing sexual symbolism. Something for the front and the back at the same time? I digress… 

The full moon has wreaked much havoc in our lives, but in the last few years I’ve learned to take a little extra care during the days immediately preceding and following a full moon – and definitely during the actually full moon period itself. That has made a remarkable difference, and if lunacy is just a matter of the mind, this is the easiest solution. 

Do there seem to be more instances of foibles and fumbles and just bad luck during the days the moon is full? It does seem to be that way, and some studies have proven it to be true – others illustrate that the moon has little to no effect on things. 

I choose to hedge my bets when it comes to the moon. Around the time it gets full, I take things a little slower, and a little more carefully. I remind myself not to get offended at the little slights, not to be argumentative on silly points because they always lead to bigger fights, and to go a little easier on myself. It allows the blunders to happen without blame, making the room for imperfection and mistakes, which should be there always anyway, and it has turned these full moon sessions into times of learning and, dare I admit, genuine enjoyment. If you can learn to laugh at yourself, and the occasional misstep we are all prone to make, life suddenly becomes much easier. And fun.

So here’s to the full Beaver Moon! Shine, shine, shine!

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Beneath the Blood-Red Maple Leaves

Scarlet leaves bleed their colorful carriage onto my neck and shoulders as I seek shelter and a place to hide beneath their brilliant canopy. Summer is better for disappearing, when so many dark green leaves work to camouflage the shy and timid. Fall strips the trees and bushes of their privacy screens, but this Japanese maple is still providing a bit of safety for those of us not quite ready to bare it all. 

This is the season where one begins seriously contemplating hibernation, and wondering if the bears know wisdom that isn’t accessible to foolish humans such as myself. Would it be so awful to sleep the winter away, emerging in the spring just as the earth is waking again too?

The red leaves of this Japanese maple surround me like a scarlet cloak. Fall finds a way of protecting those who require it, working in strange and unexpected ways to see us through the winter to come. Whether it’s a trick of the mind, an altered state of perception, or an actual shift in reality, fall provides a cozy blanket, a spiritual balm, for all that is about to come

Beneath the blood red leaves of a maple tree… 

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Pride Center Gala 2022: The Rainbow Age

One week from tonight the Pride Center of the Capital Region will be putting on its annual Pride Gala. This year brings it back in glorious person, celebrating ‘The Rainbow Age: A New Era of Visibility’ and exemplified by its honorees:

Volunteer of the Year: Paige Medina

Rising Star Award: Cafe Euphoria

Philanthropic Partner of the Year: TD Charitable Foundation

Organization of the Year: Copps DiPaola Silverman, PLLC

Harvey Milk Award: Kathy Hochul Administration

This has always been a wonderful event, and serves as one of the big fundraising efforts for the Pride Center. If you can’t attend in person, they are offering the option of purchasing a ticket and donating it to one of their volunteers and/or group attendees. That way a donated ticket will not only support this organization, but also provide the night of a lifetime to an LGBTQ+ community member. 

Tickets may be purchased at the following link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2022-pride-center-gala-tickets-430144623147 

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