When good co-workers become good friends, it makes work, and socializing after work, that much more fun. I’ve been lucky enough to have known Lorie, Sue, and Doris for years, and in that time they have become friends outside of work. That bodes well for me, since they are all retired and I’m still going to the office. Last night we had one of our regular dinners, since we missed out on getting together over the holidays.
As the temperatures outside plummeted, I lit candles and Andy helped me set the table for a pasta dinner (with some chicken, thank you Doris), a beautiful salad (thank you Lorie) and a delicious tres leches dessert (thank you Sue). Andy assembled his meatballs and sausage and sauce, and we sat down to a winter tablescape courtesy of the junipers and yews from the yard.
Rather than plop some incongruous bouquet of hothouse flowers on the table, I decided to use small vases of ever-greenery only – giving the table a rustic but cozy feel, which was the intention of the evening. The joy and success of a dinner party is entirely dependent upon the goodness of the guests, and when you are lucky enough to have the wonderful people we call friends with us, every dinner is a pre-destined good time.
We will try to do one more of these before winter ends – and what a lovely thought to think we are racing against the end of winter.
Continuing our celebration of body and sex sparked by yesterday’s Dazzler of the Day, Austin Wolf carries that glorious torch in epic fashion, brazenly baring all and shredding the prudish judgment of porn that certain prurient hypocrites too often condemn. (Spoiler alert: you all watch it.) Wolf is one of the most popular gay porn stars in the business, and he has indeed made his life his business, taking any critiques to the bank and reveling in his ongoing career. (See also Diego Barros for another Defense of Porn.) In this mad world, it isn’t always easy to make a living, and I admire anyone who knows how to hustle and put in the hard work. Wolf earns his first Dazzler of the Day for all of the above.
The tweens and teens in my world have successfully indoctrinated me into the unexpectedly-vast world of nail polish, and as everyone expected would happen sooner or later (my first manicure was my first dip in this pretty pond), I am now officially obsessed. Well, as obsessed as I get about things these days, which is markedly more reserved than it has ever been. Age mellows all of us in some way. Still, it’s nice to feel that exuberance and excitement about something silly and frivolous again – such a little thing yet how much happiness those little things can bring us if we allow it. I am allowing all of it because we need joy more than ever.
And so I’ve been practicing my nail polish skills (which are already more advanced than certain nieces who shall remain nameless) for certain outfits and gatherings, such as this lavender-hued spectrum that went with a lavender coat and pants for Landrie’s birthday dinner.
Andy already loves it – at least, that’s how I’m taking his “What’s wrong with your nails?” comment. Thankfully I know how to translate.
An entertainment career that goes beyond a decade is an impressive accomplishment on its own – factor in the not-alway-lucrative aspect of operating as an openly-gay man and you have yourself a feat of epic proportions. Chris Salvatore has managed that nifty hat trick, and continues to make uncannily shrewd moves, even when it’s not always clear how they might play out. Case in point was his reported axing from what was originally billed as the Next Big (Gay) Thing: ‘The Real Friends of West Hollywood’. Now that we are seeing how that series is playing out, it seems Salvatore dodged a bullet if he was indeed let go due to some participants’ squeamishness about his having an OnlyFans account. As someone once sang, “Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend…”
As regular readers here know, this site celebrates sex-positivity and nudity, and having an OnlyFans account is not a mark of shame but of basic financial intelligence, particularly if you know how to work it. To that end, Salvatore knows how to market himself, and showcase his talents, of which there are many. (See his first turn as Dazzler of the Day here.) Acting turns in several movies, as well as musical prowess that landed him a number of record releases, in addition to forays into modeling and underwear have all proved him an exceptional Renaissance man of many trades. A glimpse of his OnlyFans content blurs the line between life and art in a way that is titillating and sometimes unexpectedly moving. There is a certain courage inherent in those who make their life a work of art, and for that Salvatore earns this second Dazzler of the Day crowning. He’s currently appearing on the ‘Gaymous Podcast’ which can be found here.
Fast-forwarding through February goes back to my childhood in the 80’s, when I’d hurry through whatever filler was on the latest Madonna cassette tape to get to the good stuff, much like how we raced through this month to get to spring leaping in like a lion. That’s still a way off, but not a far way – and a land faraway comes into view when one least expects it. February fucks with the mind like this. Winter does too.
This random assortment of fruit was rather awkwardly contained (just barely) in a bowl, and made for a colorful still-life – the sort of random thing that February demands. When the snow keeps dumping and the hits keep coming, one tends to lose their mind in winter madness. This year hasn’t been that bad, but it’s far from over. Hoods and guards up, scarves and gloves at the ready, and button that coat! Full-steam ahead, we charge into February – the final full month of winter for 2023. Here’s a dip into some former Februarys that we survived.
February 2011~ Madonna timelines mostly, but worth a peek as it includes her timely ‘Sooner or Later’ Oscars performance.
February 2012 ~ David Beckham’s bulging briefs and the secret I kept for 20 years.
February 2013 ~ Daffodils, jonquils and Narcissus, oh my!
February 2014 ~ Shirtless male models and gratuitous male nudity – our stock in trade.
February 2015 ~ Tom Daley’s Speedo and some other floral and fashion moments.
February 2016 ~ Oscar glory, for real pho, and floral ruins.
February 2017 ~ Delectable chocolates, icy beauty, and brotherly love.
February 2018 ~ Olympic butts, naked social media synergy, and taking stock of day and night.
February 2019 ~ Petting the pussy, a Japanese hot-pot, and several insignificant tiny threads.
February 2020 ~ Winter contemplation, Madonna’s Dark Ballet, and Maluma in his Calvins.
February 2021 ~Cake from Burma, full moon madness, and a parade of Dazzlers.
February 2022 ~More dazzlers, sweet heat, and signs of spring.
Twenty-two years into a relationship with someone, it’s sometimes difficult to find those moments of romance and intimacy, but every once in a while a romantic night surprises and unexpectedly delights with the simple gratitude of sitting next to your husband at dinner and a show.
In the same way that I got him to sit through ‘The House of Mirth’ and any film with subtitles (hello ‘Crouching Dragon, Hidden Dragon’), I intentionally neglected to mention it was a Taylor Swift concert, he just thought it was a classical show. There is a photo I snapped when he realized what was happening, but that’s just for me. Happily, he said he enjoyed it, and we both loved visiting the revamped Kenmore Ballroom for the first time.
It was during ‘Blank Space’ that I suddenly had that lovely feeling of gratitude and appreciation for Andy wash over me, the same way it has happened sporadically over the years, most memorably in this dinner overlooking all of Boston as we planned our wedding.
The next day, I was sitting in Starbucks with a pistachio latte (my latest unhealthy obsession) and this version of ‘Blank Space’ came over the speakers, which was the universe’s way of cementing this romantic moment in my happy memory firmament.
But I’ve got a blank space, baby And I’ll write your name…
Non-binary pop superstar Sam Smith (recently of the #1 smash ‘Unholy’) has been a lightning rod for pop culture notoriety, with talk disparaging their looks, gender, weight, and all sorts of things other than their music. All of that is distracting nonsense which says much more about the people talking than it does about Smith, who has been riding high over all of it, gleefully and rightfully flaunting their beautiful body in sequins, ruffles, pantsuits, and feathers – and I am here for all of it.
Check out the jaw-dropping excess of their latest single ‘I’m Not Here to Make Friends’ which simply fills every floor with the drool of the thirsty and the panting the entire world over; an absolutely mandatory exercise in modern-day fabulosity, it must be seen to be studied and adored, and I’m happy to report that even at this late stage of my game, I was completely floored. This is the stuff of artistic legend and pop legacy. It’s also why Sam Smith is winningly crowned Dazzler of the Day, for what is likely not the last time.
Lavender has threaded a magical way through all seasons of the year, its soothing and calming effects rightly renowned, and it has formed an integral part of everything from cocktails and mocktails to sachets and bouquets. It’s a fragrance that we use year-round, in room diffusers to aid with sleeping and in essential oils to add a scent of serenity to any moment that requires a little bit of calming. While its bloom time is high summer in the garden, I’ve taken to using it on snowy days to counter the ill-effects of a winter held too long.
Tom Ford briefly introduced the world to his first lavender creation, ‘Lavender Palm’, a number of years ago. Originally billed as an ode to California, it is one of the finest lavender fragrances I’ve encountered. Carrying an aromatic heart, slightly redolent of herbs thanks to the lavender, clary sage and bergamot opening, it transforms into something that reverberates as a slight fougere, with a dry down that reveals vetiver and oak moss. Imbuing a refined elegance and sophistication to the raw and slightly rough essence of natural lavender, Ford’s version lends it a silvery sheen, something he expands upon with the flanker ‘Lavender Extreme’.
My friend JoAnn, longtime adorer of all things lavender, found a bottle of ‘Lavender Extreme’ but it wasn’t quite what she was expecting, so she was good enough to gift it to me. I find it a slightly more powdery take on the original, something softer and more suited to indoor winter days of cashmere and tea, or summer mornings in the fleeting hours before it gets too overbearingly hot. ‘Lavender Palm’, on the other hand, is one of those elusive Private Blends that works well on any given day of the year. That’s part of the magic of lavender.
I also find that ‘Lavender Palm’ is the more lasting and potent of the two, which is slightly annoying given the ‘Lavender Extreme’ moniker. That said, it’s a minor annoyance, easily remedied by being decadently indulgent and blending the two. At this time of the year, it’s ok to be a little decadent. The more divine, the better.
When Taylor Swift premiered her ‘Lavender Haze’ video, it felt a fitting time to rediscover both ‘Lavender Palm’ and ‘Lavender Extreme’, so I tried some of the Extreme for some fun photo preening and posing late at night, and some of the Palm for a family birthday gathering. Swift’s reference comes from the historical version of the lavender haze – a state of love focused on that early infatuation period – the moment that only the very lucky among us can remember and inhabit, and I count myself extremely lucky, as Andy is the one who gave me that rare bottle of ‘Lavender Palm’.
Fresh off a riotous appearance on Ari Melber’s show, Matt Friend is crowned Dazzler of the Day thanks to a prolific roster of spot-on hilarious impersonations of celebrities and politicians (or both when they so disastrously meet). He’s made a notable name for himself on Tik Tok, and appears poised on the brink of breaking through just about everywhere else. Check out his website here, and the brief bio culled from there below.
Matthew Friend is an old soul living inside a 23-year-old impressionist’s body. Matthew graduated from NYU’s Gallatin School in 2020, but his love of comedy and entertainment was sparked when he was four years old. He had watched Austin Powers (yes, as a four-year-old) and started mimicking the characters’ voices—and the rest was history. To date, Matthew has almost 350K followers on TikTok. He has appeared on the Today Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, NBC’s New York Live TV, Good Day LA, Good Day NY, and WGN. In 2019, Matthew won Kenan Thompson’s Ultimate Comedy Experience at Carolines on Broadway. His professional experience includes hosting HQ Trivia, performing at corporate events, and doing stand-up comedy throughout the country. Matthew’s repertoire includes more than 250 impressions ranging from Rami Malek to Timothee Chalamet. His favorite to do right now is Jennifer Coolidge.
Matthew’s love of comedy and entertainment began when he was four years old after he discovered the Austin Powers DVD in his house. watched it so much that he began to mimic the characters’ gestures and words. “Do I make you randy?” echoed through his head every day. Matthew quickly found that he was able to make people laugh just by reproducing someone else’s persona. He spent countless hours in his room, scrolling through YouTube, digging up Johnny Carson, Don Rickles, Frank Sinatra, and Rich Little clips.
The longest month of the winter finishes up tomorrow, and for the most part it’s been relatively good to us. Embracing winter and all its gray glory, I’m snuggling into the idea of hygge when the days grow especially dim, but thanks to friends and family, even the dark days have had their fill of light. On with this recap, and turning the first page of the 2023 calendar…
While some parts of my hometown make me rather sad/mad, there are some that make me incredibly happy, and that was in full evidence when I picked up breakfast for my parents from DomAdi’s Deli. One of the specials that morning was this breakfast wrap, named for Bitsy, so whoever Bitsy is I would like to personally thank them for inspiring such deliciousness. A glorious mash-up of scrambled eggs, bacon, American cheese, and a hash brown, it was the perfect wrap with which to start the day.
As I was standing in line to order, a gentleman remarked how he kept coming back there because the food was so good. That’s the sort of fabled hometown affability that goes unmentioned and unheralded too often, and whenever I experience it I want to celebrate and amplify the message. It’s also infectious, and as I headed downtown to the post office, the sun was shining through the winter, the sky was blue, and the friendly gentleman taking my stamp order responded as happily as I requested it. No matter where I go in life, and no mater where I’ve been, I’ll always be a son of Amsterdam.
Back to Bitsy and DomAdi’s Deli – the food was indeed remarkable. For the upcoming ‘A Taste of Amsterdam‘ (Feb. 6 to 12), they will be offering a dinner special which includes a Korean bulgogi sub and slice of chocolate cake for $18.85 (since 1885 was the year Amsterdam was established) – and that combo sounds like my idea of heaven.
DomAdi’s is located right off the Thruway at Exit 27, so even if you’re not an Amsterdam local it’s an easy stopover to pick up a meal. Check out their FaceBook page here for updated daily specials – that’s how I found out about Bitsy’s Breakfast Special Wrap. (And be sure to say hello to the fabulous Elizabeth when you’re there – we went to high school together and somehow she doesn’t hate me.)
A propensity for quoting rap and hip-hop songs and lyrics is not often found in mainstream news anchors, but Ari Melber is brilliantly bucking that trend on his ever-entertaining show ‘The Beat with Ari Melber’. In today’s political world, where the news is more depressing and dismal and hopeless with each passing day of non-indictments, Melber provides a healthy dose of humor along with intelligent and helpful analysis of political proceedings from a legal standpoint. He can loop an obscure deep-cut lyrical excerpt into a conversation on a deadly insurrection and somehow make it all work. Melber earns this Dazzler of the Day thanks largely to making political news something as necessary as it is entertaining. Check out his site here for all his current appearances.
A polarizing place since its inception (and many of the ensuing years since), the Amsterdam Mall, now called the Riverfront Center, was once the site of some of my childhood memories, and they were mostly happy ones. Now it’s mostly medical offices and a service center or two. I’d been meaning to revisit the space for a few years, and finally got around to stepping back inside its orange-carpeted glory yesterday, where I spent a few scant minutes before being escorted off the premises. But I’m jumping ahead…
Some of my earliest childhood memories took place at the Amsterdam Mall. I remember buying shoes at Buster Brown’s and lamenting when we would be dragged into Gabby’s for clothes. (Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t born this way: once upon a time I despised shopping for clothes.) I remember when the mall expanded, dividing a downtown and a city that was already known for its Division Street. Mr. B’s Best, Smile-A-While and The Carl Co. all vied for the attention of shoppers. It seems strange to think that the place was once bustling, but on a Friday night in the 80’s there was no other place to be.
When I planned returning and taking a few pictures of what the mall had become, I anticipated a warm and nostalgic look back, backed by a few photos of what I assumed were some of the same plants that had been slowly growing skyward for over the last three decades. I remembered these same draceana and ficus. The idea that they had lasted all these years, that somehow they had been tended and cared for enough to survive gave me a sense of reassurance, a sliver of hope that maybe some things could be sustained, if not carefully cultivated, and given enough attention they could still be reaching for the sky. That’s the story I wanted to write, even if I found the mall in a sadder state. I did not expect to find it in such a sorry shambles.
I entered on the second floor, near the site of what was once Cinema 4, where I saw the first movies of my life, and the ones that formed those first memories: ‘Return of the Jedi’, ‘The Goonies’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ ‘Batman’ and ‘Truth or Dare’.
Snapping a few photos of the empty expanse, I noticed first one, then multiple five-gallon plastic buckets, placed sporadically around to catch what I assumed were leaks. They littered the vast empty place, while in one corner a security guard sat with his head down, perhaps half-asleep, as no one bothered me as I took a few more pictures.
Waking down the stationary escalators, I passed the towering plants – the dracaena and ficus that I remembered, beside which stood a few stands of peace lilies. They held their dark evergreen leaves in arching form, a bit tattered but still alive, still deep green. I passed the large store-front where McCrory’s once stood, then the space where The Carl Co. extended its elegant footprint. Heading into the small part of what was once the original mall, the structure changed, and above me the light-filled atrium provided perfect habitat for a few more potted ficus trees which stretched to the top of the ceiling.
Along the rafters of this section I heard a rustling and looked up, where I caught a pair of squirrels running along the length of the place, skirting between electrical wires and the deteriorating walls. I snapped a few photos of the trees and got a bit of video of one of the squirrels, it being relatively rare to catch a squirrel indoors these days. At that point I heard a shout from the darkness of the mall, and saw the security guard making his way toward me.
He asked me what I was doing and I said I had grown up here and was taking pictures for a blog post I was going to write. “Which blog?” he asked gruffly.
“ALANILAGAN.com,” I said, stifling the ‘duh’ I wanted to add at the end, and fully expecting him not to have a clue what it was. Of course, he didn’t, so I’m not sure why he asked. What blog would it have been ok for?
He said that someone came in the mall last week and took pictures then “tore the place up online” and that’s why the owner doesn’t want any pictures being taken as it was private property except for the offices. I said I was planning on writing a story of my memories here, with some photos to accompany it, but I would no longer include the photos, and the story would have a very different ending now. He then escorted me unceremoniously out of the building. (Not even a hint of ceremony!)
Full disclosure that should come as no surprise to anyone: this was not the first time I was reprimanded for taking photos inside the Amsterdam Mall. Back in the 90’s, there was a period when I took pictures of everything and everyone, including our weekend romps at the mall. I actually have a photo somewhere of a puffy guy in a security outfit extending his hand toward me as he was telling me no pics were allowed in the mall. That was in the early 90’s. Maybe I should be reassured that some things haven’t changed.
As for this blog post, I originally wanted to write something sweet and nostalgic, and I had a few plant photos that actually made the place seem halfway inhabitable. However, since they didn’t want me to post any, you’ll have to make do with this description, and wonder at the safety and cleanliness of a place that houses medical offices and has squirrels running rogue through its hallways and a dozen buckets scattered throughout to catch the leaks. And I suppose I should be grateful for the new blog post idea, because given the abysmal state of things, I don’t even think artful lighting and clever angles could hide what a dump that place has become.
As for the current owner of the Riverfront Center, this one’s for you.
“Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you.” ~ Jonathan Stroud
Tea has formed a literal and symbolic baseline for what has gone on at this website over the last twenty years. From its inception, this little corner of the internet was intended and designed to be a place of whimsical distraction, devoid of the ads and intrusions and comments that so often plague and ruin other sites. I’ve aimed to keep this as enjoyable as possible while being somewhat interesting to visit, with interesting twists and turns along the way. Of course, over the course of two decades, the overall undulations have been relatively smooth and unremarkable, and there is comfort in that.
When so much of the world has grown volatile and tense, I have striven to make this place somewhat consistent and comfortable – likening it to a living room that is largely quiet except when a gathering or company is coming – a place where one can sit down for a spell and enjoy a light read with a cup of tea or coffee or something stronger should you so desire. It’s a room that can be whatever you need or want – a room of requirement, perhaps, but with a lot less clutter, unless that makes you happy. It changes with the seasons, with the day, with the hour – it can start off cool and gray in the hours before dawn, when the couch or chair begs for use with a blanket and pillow. It can become brilliantly lit with sunlight streaming in the bay window, pouring through the fronds of a Norfolk Island pine and an ancient fern. It transforms into an afternoon refuge, the last of the days light fading while one sits quietly on the floor in meditative contemplation. It closes in a bit on itself at the approach of night, as one by one the lamps come on and gently warm the space, lending it the coziness and comfort we may crave in the evening.
And so I welcome you here, whenever you may need or want a moment of quiet, apart from the mayhem of social media and the madness of what our world has become. I’ll put on a fresh pot of tea…
“There is something in the nature of tea that leads us into a world of quiet contemplation of life.” ~ Lin Yutang
