Mundane Midday

The mundane moments of midday in downtown Albany may not look like much to the casual observer. Having been that casual observer on many a day, I understand that I don’t always notice the subtle beauty of what is around me, not when my mind is distracted by work issues or other worries, not when I forget to be mindful and present as I’m rushing to make a bank deposit or grab a cup of coffee. 

On those days that I do pause and remember to pay attention, the city reveals pockets of beauty that aren’t striking or obvious. They’re in the lines of faded buildings and closed restaurants, in the cracks of sidewalks and the mottled unevenness of parking lots. I find beauty in the random chair placed against a building, in the way it makes me wonder how it came to be there, and imagine who might have used it for rest or respite. 

Maybe beauty, however we find it, is simply meant to make us a little more thoughtful, a little more careful of how we see the world, and of how we see others in the world. 

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Acoustic Love

A closing reprise for Valentine’s Day finds us all a little bit, or a lot, older. 

The years pass, and with them twenty-three Valentine’s Days so far… and counting. 

There is more in that than can ever be said, more in those years and days than can ever be expressed or conveyed – not in a blog or a book, not in a whispered bedroom conversation or an exquisitely-rendered work of art. How wonderful it should be so – how wonderful that love can not be confined or bound to those worldly things. How wonderful that love can be so elusive and slippery, and at the same time so sustaining and stalwart. How wonderful love can be…

The beating of my heart is a drum and it’s lostAnd it’s looking for a rhythm like youYou can take the darkness from the pit of the nightAnd turn into a beacon burning endlessly brightI’ve gotta follow it ’cause everything I knowWell, it’s nothing ’til I give it to you.
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Dazzler of the Day: Harper Watters

My friend JoAnn sent me a few clips of Harper Watters and recommended that he be the next Dazzler of the Day, and after visiting his exquisite website, I couldn’t agree more. Best of all, the write-up is already done, taken from the aforementioned website that you simply must visit to witness all this wonder and more:

Harper Watters has a passion for being bold and unapologetically himself, as evidenced not only in his onstage dancing as a Soloist for the Houston Ballet but in his viral heel treadmill videos. He’s accumulated over 138 thousand followers with his Instagram and created the YouTube web series The Pre Show, which documents the behind-the-scenes stage life of professional dancers.

Harper’s videos have been featured on Elle Magazine, Marie Clare, and Urban Outfitters. His social media presence has allowed him to work with photographers Mike Ruiz, Gerardo Vizmanos, and Ryan Pfluger for The New Yorker. He’s been featured in the pages of Risk, Dance Magazine, and on the cover of Dance Spirit. He’s worked with leading choreographers including Tony Award winner Christopher Wheeldon and has performed on international stages in Guatemala, Canada, Germany, France, Switzerland, and in numerous US cities.

He’s proud to standout and collaborates with people, brands, and artists who aren’t afraid to either. 

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Hearts of Cheese

Ahh, St. Valentine’s Day. You cheesy-as-fuck fake-holiday that puts so many in a tizzy every year… with your thirty-dollar chocolate boxes, fifty-dollar roses and multiple-hundred-dollar bottles of cologne – the things you make us do to show our love to our beloved – it’s a feat that someone hasn’t turned Cupid’s bloody arrow back on you and all this nonsense. 

Andy and I long ago agreed that this ‘holiday’ wasn’t worth the hassle and craziness of a dinner out, and for several years early on in our relationship it always seemed to snow wildly on this date anyway. Once you get into the habit of staying in, it’s a hard habit to break, and for this day of love, why would we want to? 

But before this takes a bitter turn into an anti-V-Day crusade, I’m going to throw out a peace-offering to all those who love what this day has come to embody – all the cheesiness and over-the-top bombast of celebrating love, Love, LOVE! – because I remember what I thought it meant when I was a little kid handing out Valentines to my classmates. Let’s consult with the sages of Air Supply for what this day really means:

So much of my early life was informed by the power ballads of the 80’s, and that might have given me a slightly-skewed view of what love was – it felt wondrous and unattainable, dizzying and grand – and somehow I felt that songs like this only touched at the real glory of love. I couldn’t wait to try it out for myself, and I wanted all the drama and heightened emotion of a song like this. Little did I know how traumatic that could truly get, and how insanely silly, and how absolutely soul-enriching

And if that’s not dramatic enough for you, here’s Bonnie Tyler doing what Bonnie Tyler does best.

And so we have arrived at another Valentine’s Day – make love out of nothing at all, or make of it whatever you want. Happy V-Day to all the friends, and all the lovers! 

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Dazzler of the Day: Ricky Martin

It’s been almost a quarter of the century since Ricky Martin unleashed ‘Livin’ La Vida Lola’ upon the world, and while he’d already forged a sizable entertainment career prior to that, it was the self-titled 1999 album that shot him to pop culture superstardom. Since then, it’s been a wild and sexy ride of sorts, with acting gigs and Broadway ventures and singles and albums. Last year looked rocky for him, but he seems to have come out of it vindicated. For enduring in the sometimes-soul-crushing business that is show, he earns this Dazzler of the Day

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A Treacherous Monday Recap

Mondays always carry the risk embodied by the featured photo here – there is danger lurking just ahead, no matter how unlikely it may be. And so we enter another week in winter, but this is one with a little bit of hope, a distant light of spring at the end of its proverbial tunnel. Let’s put the past week officially to bed with a recap, then charge ahead. 

Gearing up for our 20th anniversary of ALANILAGAN.com, I put the kettle on the burner

Meditation on a rose

Tale of a Target tweet.

The brightest of mocktails to stave off the winter. 

Don’t fuck with Madonna on my time.

A Troye Sivan appreciation post

This lion never sleeps.

The perfection of the imperfection

Tibet by way of Cambridge

Finding mindfulness in a dish rag.

The ducking truth.

Signs of hope first in the house

Jaxon Layne and Lolo.

Of football, jockstraps and Tom Brady.

Dazzlers of the Day included Nick Offerman and Brandi Carlile.

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Of Football, Jockstraps & Tom Brady

He’s nowhere near the big event this year, but Tom Brady decided to garner all the attention (at least from certain websites such as this one) by posting a selfie of himself in his own underwear line. Well-played, sir, well-played. Rob Gronkowski, himself no stranger to underwear shots and other naked shenanigans, called Brady out and lamented he didn’t do it quite right by hiding the package. The Gronk would know, and that’s not something you usually hear. (No offense to Mr. Gronkowski.) 

The last time I was really into the Super Bowl was in 2012, over a decade ago, when Madonna triumphantly headlined the half-time show and showed the world how it was done. Adam Levine made a shirtless play for our affections recently, and Beyoncé worked that stadium like gorgeous thunder, but I’m still partial to Madonna’s old-school theatrics. 

As for this year, I have no idea who is even playing or what Dazzlers of the Day might strut their stuff on the field, and I’m not even all that excited to see Rihanna, but I’m happy to see others enjoy this day. Besides, it’s a chance to look back at all the ball-happy posts we’ve done in service of bowls super and otherwise over the years, as seen in the following links:

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Jaxon Layne & Lolo

These days my Dad isn’t always engaged or aware of everything around him, but every once in a while we get him to perk up, and then we get to see the glimmer of the man he used to be. My newest nephew Jaxon usually gets Dad to smile and pay attention, and he seems equally enthralled by the old man in front of him, making it a happy connection for both. 

Over ninety years of age separates these two guys, but they seem to have a bond that cuts those years away – the heartwarming connection between grandfather and grandson. 

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Signs of Hope in the House

Even before the first shift in birdsong that I noticed this weekend, the houseplants were telling us the road to spring was just ahead. The mirrored re-flowering of the Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter cactus happened a couple of weeks ago, meaning that there was similar light to the late fall when it last bloomed. Then there was a burst of flowers from an orchid (which is too spectacular to share outside of its own featured post to come) and a new batch of leaves on the Audrey ficus.

A new crop of bright chartreuse leaves on the traditional weeping fig also signaled that spring was on the way. Their young forms are thin and delicate, with a dewy shine that stiffens and ripens into the deeper mottled form that the rest of the leaves eventually grow to carry. I love this contrast now, and I love that we are almost halfway through the last full month of winter. Hang on like these little leaves – the journey is just beginning…

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The Ducking Truth

Never in my life have I needed to text the word ‘ducking’ to anyone, yet it’s all my phone thinks I want to write.

Duck all of this. And duck you too. 

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Finding Mindfulness in a Dish Rag

When I first started exploring meditation and mindfulness, I began with Thich Nhat Hanh’s book ‘The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation’. It was a very good place to start, even if my skeptical mind wasn’t quite ready at the time to receive much of its wisdom. In fact, the chapter on finding mindfulness when washing dishes at the kitchen sink almost had me giving up on the whole endeavor. 

Back then, I wasn’t about to discover mindfulness while washing dishes at the kitchen sink. I wasn’t about to discover anything while washing dishes at the kitchen sink other than annoyance or agitation, because how on earth would any sane person find something as wonderful as mindfulness in such a position? It took a while, and a lot of dishes, before I pushed through and began to understand. 

My unlocking of the possibility for mindfulness came to me in the shower, as so many things do. (I need a waterproof board and marker for all the genius thoughts and ideas that have gone down the drain because I couldn’t remember them thirty seconds later.) I’d been reading the book and trying to put Hanh’s words into practice, taking the time and making the effort to be mindful and present in the moment, just experiencing every sensation and granular movement in and of themselves, and suddenly it clicked. That shower remains in my mind as a turning point, when I realized that, with some care and focus, I could find mindfulness in the most mundane of tasks, and a certain peace could result from doing so. 

That was two years ago. I’ve been meaning to revisit Thich Nhat Hanh’s book to see what I likely missed that first time around. On a recent morning, two years ago to the date of that mindful shower oddly, or not oddly, enough, I found myself washing the pan and plate from a quick breakfast I had made. As I ran the dishes under the hot water and watched the soap bubbles gather, I remembered the notion of ‘washing the dishes to wash the dishes’. Over the years, my repulsion of doing dishes had eased, and I took these moments as opportunities to be calmly with myself, especially on mornings where Andy was in bed and probably wouldn’t be thrilled to come out to a sink full of plates. 

As I rinsed off my plate and turned it round within a dish towel, I felt the texture of the fabric in my hands, the residual warmth of the clean, smooth plate, and the delicate scent of lemons drifting up from the soap. My eyes moved to the window, where I watched an icy mix fall almost imperceptibly from the sky – gray precipitation from a gray bank of clouds falling on gray fences and gray land. I saw the beauty there – the subtle beauty of winter – and I felt the beauty by being absolutely present in the stillness. There, then, was the moment of mindfulness. All other worries and tensions eased while the dishes were being washed. Appreciating them for their service – the vessels in which a sustaining meal was carried to my mouth – I placed them carefully back in their places. 

“If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not “washing the dishes to wash the dishes.” What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can’t wash the dishes, the chances are we won’t be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future—and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, ‘The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation’

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Tibet by Cambridge

Many years ago, I found myself trudging through a winter day in Cambridge, MA during a weekend in Boston by myself. Hurrying away from the bustle of Harvard Square and all the annoying college kids, I found myself on a quieter stretch of sidewalk, where I came upon a little store whose entrance was draped in strings of bells and colorful prayer flags fluttering in the wind. Seeking respite and peace, I ducked into the small space, where a man sat behind a little register, and two tiny rooms were filled with clothing and prayer bowls and Tibetan objects. 

Tibetan flute music played over the sound system, filling the store with the calming sounds you may hear below. A stick of incense emitted curls of smoke, which drifted into every corner of the store – not overbearing or heavy, like incense can sometimes be, but light and airy and cleansing. 

On that day, the man behind the counter taught me how to tie a scarf for maximum warmth, and I found this collection of Tibetan music. I play it every winter, around this time, when one needs some solace from the lengthy drudgery of the dark season. It instils a calm, partly from remembered quiet nights in the Boston condo, where I’d drift to sleep in the warm comfort of that brick fortress, partly from newer memories conjured from evenings of tea, with warm light and warm blankets on the conversation couch after a dinner by Andy. 

The cup was a gift from Suzie from her trip to Denmark this past summer. Andy uses it for coffee, but once in a while I’ll use it for tea, especially on winter evenings when something precious is appreciated. A Friday night in February feels like just such an occasion. 

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The Perfection of the Imperfection

My attempts at cooking certain things have proven some of the most fertile grounds for learning to embrace the imperfections inherent in daily life. Multiple pancake disasters, a few bad run-ins with the rising of yeast, and a spilled pan of candied yams here and there have conspired to chip skillfully away at my desire for perfection, forcing a valuable lesson in accepting defeat, and embracing the notion that the quest for perfection is a losing one. 

With that in mind, I present this plate of folded eggs, which looks a bit of a mess and fright but is actually one of the easiest and most delicious breakfasts I’ve made in a year. I was idly swiping through my phone to pull myself out of some social media cooking/recipe hole I’d plunged into thanks to Babs, and I lazily paid scant attention to a folded eggs idea which was just scrambled eggs that weren’t stirred as much, left in an-almost runny state. I got the gist of it then fell not-so-promptly asleep (as one does when scrolling through the phone while in bed). 

The next morning I remembered the basics of the recipe, and decided to give it a try. For this version, I used four eggs, a couple of thinly-sliced scallions, a small bunch of chopped parsley, a smaller bunch of chopped cilantro, some dill weed, salt and pepper. Then I added a few tablespoons of half-and-half and whisked it all together. I heated a medium-sized pan, and dropped in three generous pats of butter – once they melted and started bubbling, I poured the eggs in and let them sit. Turning down the heat, I gently began pulling the cooked bottom layer around so the liquid parts could reach the pan. Repeating this carefully until it was all just barely runny (I turned off the heat completely once they were getting close) I then rolled the whole thing onto a pretty plate. (For scrambled eggs, I would have been more vigorous and regular in my stirring.) It wasn’t meant to look pretty, as the goal was a rustic but delicious dish, and I went into it expecting and desiring a bit of that imperfection. The end result delivered – more for the mouth than the eyes, and that’s what matters. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Brandi Carlile

My favorite moment of the Grammys this year (yes, even more favorite than Madonna introducing Sam Smith and Kim Petras, which was epic enough) was Brandi Carlile’s wife and daughters introducing her performance. Carlile is no stranger to the Grammys, having added to her staggering total of wins again this year, and she is no stranger to many of my social media friends, as evidenced by the outpouring of love that happens whenever I see someone post something on her. She earns this Dazzler of the Day honor for a career of determined focus and singular talent, and for being brave and fabulous when it’s not always easy to be either. 

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The Lion That Never Sleeps

Standing sentry at the entrance to the Copley Fairmont in Boston’s stately Copley Square, this golden lion has been greeting visitors with nobility and grace for as long as I can remember. Lions are plentiful in Boston, and I love spotting them scattered throughout buildings and architecture, from the top of the Old State House to the pair of peaceful stone giants framing the staircase of the Boston Public Library. There are less famous lions, and one of my favorites is in this front corner of a private residence in the South End

All of these lions remain stoic and silent, a lesson in stillness and power. While the winter rages and the summer burns, they stand unbothered and unburdened by the maelstrom around them. In that respect, I long to be like these lions.

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