“I’m an absolute introvert. I do not like parties larger than eight close friends. I’m quite the loner. What I do publicly is a performance. It’s part of my job, and I’m good at it.” ~ Tom Ford
Last year we began with a bang, and though I usually like to change from one extreme to another, I’m going to go against my boomerang nature and aim for a double bang. Boom-Boom in the zoom-zoom room! Nobody booms bigger than Britney:
THERE’S ONLY TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
THE ONES THAT ENTERTAIN AND THE ONES THAT OBSERVE
WELL BABY I’M A PUT-ON-A-SHOW KIND OF GIRL
DON’T LIKE THE BACK SEAT, GOTTA BE FIRST
I’M LIKE THE RING LEADER, I CALL THE SHOTS
I’M LIKE A FIRECRACKER, I’LL MAKE IT HOT
WHEN I PUT ON A SHOW…
The double-sided tension that has run through this blog from its inception almost exactly sixteen years ago has largely been about what to share and what to hide. The public versus the private. How personal does one have to get on a personal blog? How distant and remote can one be before everyone moves on, bored by such practiced removal from anything too real? How much flagrant showing off and stripping down can one perform before the performance becomes the truth? I don’t think we’ve come close to uncovering the answer or reaching a reconciliatory resolution. Questions remain. Mystery begets mystery. The puzzle shifts, changing shape before our very eyes. Time, so celebrated in such a falsely defined structure (how else could humans cope with it?) comes to mind today, when we trick ourselves into thinking things can start all over again, as if the turning of a meaningless calendar page has any real bearing on the dirge of middle age.
I FEEL THE ADRENALINE MOVING THROUGH MY VEINS
SPOTLIGHT ON ME AND I’M READY TO BREAK
I’M LIKE A PERFORMER THE DANCE FLOOR IS MY STAGE
BETTER BE READY, HOPE THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME…
In the face of the clock, as its hands wind around interminably, circling in on a stranglehold that never quite finds release or connection, the numbers advance and retreat, stationary but signifying movement. Time ticks and tocks, marking itself in rudimentary glee, its only purpose to make a map and mockery of itself. A new year begins, born like a baby, and already donning a top hat: the utter insanity of how we have erected the world. Dance, baby, just dance!
ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A CIRCUS
WHEN I CRACK THAT WHIP EVERYBODY’S GONNA TRIP JUST LIKE A CIRCUS
DON’T STAND THERE WATCHING ME, FOLLOW ME,
SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO
EVERYBODY LET GO WE CAN MAKE A DANCE FLOOR JUST LIKE A CIRCUS.
A step in time, fox trot or gavotte, Jack will be nimble and quick, and what he can do with a candle stick! Dancing through life, spinning through time, mixing metaphors and musical madness, we begin the year with a whirl and twirl. What will come of us in 2019? Just keep on dancing, baby, just keep on dancing…
THERE’S ONLY TWO TYPES OF GUYS OUT THERE,
ONES THAT CAN HANG WITH ME AND ONES THAT ARE SCARED
SO BABY I HOPE THAT YOU CAME PREPARED
I RUN A TIGHT SHIP, SO BEWARE!
I’M LIKE THE RING LEADER, I CALL THE SHOTS
I’M LIKE A FIRECRACKER, I MAKE IT HOT
WHEN I PUT ON A SHOW…
I FEEL THE ADRENALINE MOVING THROUGH MY VEINS
SPOTLIGHT ON ME AND I’M READY TO BREAK
I’M LIKE A PERFORMER THE DANCE FLOOR IS MY STAGE
BETTER BE READY, HOPE THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME.
And so we begin again – another chance, another start – and maybe this year I’ll open my rebel heart. May this one be the best ever! 2019 marks the 16thyear of ALANILAGAN.com. Ahh yes, my Sweet Sixteen. A lot of crazy shit happens when you’re sixteen years old. A lot of crazy shit happens when you’re 43 too. I might just have a midlife crisis and nervous breakdown RIGHT HERE ON THIS BLOG. I can do it. Just wait and see.
ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A CIRCUS
WHEN I CRACK THAT WHIP EVERYBODY GONNA TRIP JUST LIKE A CIRCUS
DON’T STAND THERE WATCHING ME, FOLLOW ME,
SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN DO
ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A CIRCUS…
Happy New Year, kids. Come back for more…
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