Most of us have an inner dialogue, that little voice we hear which expresses everything we are too shy or scared or smart enough not to say out loud. (I say ‘most’ because there are reportedly some people who do not have such a thing, which is marvelously unfathomable to me.) That inner dialogue can often wreak havoc, especially when it gets out of hand, which it sometimes does for me. Mostly these conversations in my head happen in the evening, as I’m mentally remembering the day. Sometimes it’s just a case of replaying a moment and coming up with something much more brilliant than what I came up with then, a wittier comeback to something someone said; more often it’s a kinder and softer response to something more cutting that came out of my mouth. Virgos run the risk of overanalyzing and being overcritical, so this inner voice is the bane of my existence, because it cuts me as much as it cuts those around me.
Whenever I find myself getting bogged down in these dialogues, I try to calmly recenter myself, taking in a few deep breaths, and stabilizing myself by simply being present. Pausing to look around at whatever might be near, I pick apart little details to distract the mind before it heads off to the races. A smudge on the windowpane of the front door. A wrinkle in the silk curtain framing the window. The gentle drone of some faraway lawnmower, perhaps executing the final few passes it will make over the grass this year. I will tune into my body – the slight itch of a recent vaccine in my arm, the cold toes of an exposed foot, and the breath which I make deeper and slower and calmer.
This is how I calm the voices in my head. This is how to gain control of the inner narrative. This is how mindfulness manifests itself.
