{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}
I fucked up,
I made a mistake,
Nobody does it better than myself.
I’m sorry, I’m not afraid to say
I wish I could take it back,
But I can’t…
There’s no more difficult task in the world than learning to say you’re sorry and asking for forgiveness. It’s probably the thing I do worst in life, finding it incredibly uncomfortable to put aside my pride and admit when I’ve been wrong. Though it doesn’t happen often to the practically-perfect-in-every-way, when it does I can now bring myself to say I’m sorry. It’s still not easy, but it’s the mark of a mature adult.
I fucked up,
I made a mistake,
Nobody does it better than myself.
I’m sorry, I’m not afraid to say
I wish I could take it back,
But I can’t…
Perhaps the most blunt title of any Madonna song, ‘I Fucked Up’ was on the Deluxe Version of her most recent album, MDNA. As one of the newer ones, it hasn’t had time to sink in and make a hugely significant impact on my life, though I do think it’s one of her stronger cuts of late – both musically and mentally powerful. It starts off as a slightly sing-songy ballad, one that lyrically finds Madonna owning up to past mistakes. For someone who claims to have no regrets, ‘I Fucked Up’ may be the closest she’ll ever come to truly saying she’s sorry, and the hurt and pain of the ending of her marriage to Guy Ritchie surely played a pivotal part in the emotional display on hand here.
I’m so ashamed, You’re in so much pain,
I blamed you when things didn’t go my way,
If I didn’t, you’d be here,
If I didn’t fight back, I’d have no fear,
If I took another path, things would be so different,
But they’re not…
I could’ve just kept my big mouth closed,
I could’ve just done what I was told,
Maybe I should’ve turned silver into gold,
But in front of you I was cold.
I fucked up, I made a mistake,
Nobody does it better than myself,
I’m sorry, I’m not afraid to say,
I wish I could take it back,
But I can’t…
I thought we had it all,
You brought out the best in me,
And somehow I destroyed the perfect dream,
I thought we were indestructible,
I never imagined we could fall
You wanna know how to make God laugh: Tell him your plans.
As the music speeds up and the track takes off, the story becomes even more wistful and filled with regret and longing. It’s a story that most of us have had the misfortune to play a part in at some point in our lives – the ambivalent heartache of a relationship that didn’t work out, and the little memories and details and hopes of what might-have-been that run rampant across the mind in the loneliest nights.
We could’ve bought a house with a swimming pool,
Filled it up with Warhols, it would be so cool,
Could’ve gone riding stallions in the country side,
With a pack of great danes, racing eye to eye,
We could’ve toured the world in a private jet,
Gotten naked on the beach, all soaking wet,
We could’ve climbed the mountains,
Seen the perfect sunrise,
Written our names across the sky…
Song #76: ‘I Fucked Up’ ~ Spring 2012
