{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}
Madonna has crafted some amazing summer songs – see ‘True Blue‘ and ‘Express Yourself‘ and ‘Vogue‘ and ‘Ray of Light‘ – and songs hit a sweeter spot when they are released in the summer; the season of the sun burns musical memories into the mind more indelibly than perhaps any other time of the year.
It was a darker summer but we didn’t know that then, and so it was a summer of light, the last if I really think about it. The thing is… summer always comes with dark nights, and darker currents underneath all the sun and fun. This Madonna Timeline, a bonus track from her ‘Madame X’ album, hints at that darker undertone, taking things on a slightly more serious turn, one that would find fruition the next year.
Every night, before I close my eyes
I say a little prayer that you’ll have mercy on me
Please, dear God, to live inside the divine
Not like I want to die
Teach me to forgive myself, outlive this hell
Is it really love if it hurts?
Is it really pain if it’s inside?
On the outside, I’m strong
Hold my hand, please sympathize
Hard enough trying to forgive
Hard enough trying to live
Please don’t criticize, yeah
Please, please sympathize, yeah
The ‘Madame X’ album was an exercise in moody music, even as it came out just as summer was getting started. The drama of ‘Looking for Mercy’ finds Madonna examining a quest for mercy, a search for sympathy – the usual desire for connection and understanding. It’s not the fluffy stuff of previous summer fare like ‘Love Makes the World Go Round‘ or ‘Where’s the Party?‘ It rings closer in theme and import to ‘Live to Tell‘ – a throwback to summers that wanted to be more carefree than they ever actually were.
Somebody to teach me to love
Somebody to help me rise above
I need to survive, I’m looking for
Looking for, looking for, looking for mercy
Looking for, looking for, looking for mercy
I’m looking for, I’m looking for love
Looking for, looking for, looking for mercy
Looking for, looking for, looking for mercy
I’m looking for, I’m looking for mercy
Looking back at that summer of 2019 – the summer before we were plunged unwillingly into a worldwide pandemic – it feels both innocent and somber, as though we knew there was something darker coming, and somehow we had to make the most of it. Summer lends urgency to its days, ever-aware that September would arrive sooner than desired. Did we embrace the days? Did we honor the hours? The memories now are mostly questions, the wisdom of hindsight muted and inscrutable, and the gauzy haze that summer wraps around its days closes in cocoon-like fashion.
Is it really faith if I’m weak?
Can you tell the truth when you live lies?
I’m just looking for the signs
Hold my hand, please sympathize
Hard enough trying to forgive
Hard enough trying to live
Flawed, flawed by design, yeah
Please, please sympathize
Song #175 – ‘Looking For Mercy’ ~ Summer 2019
