This is a bit of an odd Christmas message. It goes out to all of you who may be be scrolling through your phones trying to escape your family or circumstances, holed up in a childhood bedroom or vainly trying to disappear into the corner of a couch while passers-by fail at being surreptitious in glancing at your screen. Maybe you’re at an endless Christmas dinner table, where half the people have already brought out their phones instead of engaging in conversation and you’re trying to look like you have concerns of greater import as well.
For a lot of us, Christmas is just another minefield of social anxiety-prone situations, of dealing with difficult family dynamics, and ignoring the grievances that have piled up throughout the years. We build it up to be this year-ending finale of joy and wonderment, a moment that suddenly erases all wounds, and the hype and hoopla rarely translates into anything that meets expectations.
For those of you waking up to the emptiness that Christmas sometimes becomes, this post is for you. It won’t solve any of those issues, it won’t change your mindset or dramatically alter your mood – it exists simply to give you a friendly nod, to let you know you’re not alone, and that this day doesn’t have to be what humankind has led you to believe it should be. There are lessons in the Christmas story that are timeless and pertinent, and they are so trite and basic that if you need a reminder of them you probably aren’t living a life of basic decency and goodness anyway. (I also find that those who espouse such religious virtuosity seem to forget those very lessons when it comes to forgiveness or immigrants or homeless people.)
It’s a reminder that though you may momentarily feel like a misfit, in whatever situation you find yourself, this is merely a day – one of many days in a year, and a lifetime – and it need not carry any more weight than what we give it. It’s a reminder that you are not alone, no matter how isolated you might feel, whether in a sea of family and friends or in an apartment by yourself, because we all feel alone at times. And sometimes the loneliest people are those who are surrounded by others all the time, because if you don’t know what it’s like to ever be alone, how can you truly appreciate the company of others?
My plan for the day is to appreciate the moments of stillness and quiet, and carve out a few for myself if they don’t magically appear. I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a happiness and contentment that goes beyond this finite season.
