You don’t always understand when things are going out of focus until it’s too late. At first you think it’s just a passing cloud, or a floating bit of fuzz that momentarily gets lodged in the corner of your eyes. You blink a few times to correct it, then move onto something else because life demands it. The world doesn’t slow for your own failings or faltering. It won’t slow for mine either. Instead, you work through it, carrying the bit of haze with you, assuming or hoping or stupidly ignoring, waiting for it to lift, waiting for it to correct itself. And sometimes it does.
Things become clear again, like a dirty mirror you didn’t realize was dirty until it starts to obscure. You wipe it off, see everything in focus, and things seem brighter, cleaner, better. Then, as if some insidious steam seeped into the room, the mirror clouds again. You lose a bit more sight of yourself, and you wonder at the mirror, and your own vision.
A little fuzziness in life is good. There is no such thing as perfect focus. The human experience is too shaded with various textures and filters to ever perfectly reveal anything. And a little blur to things can be artfully executed, lending movement and the idea that we are, indeed, alive and in constant motion.
Yet there is a limit to how much distortion and distraction may be good. Swerving too far out of focus can feel exciting and daring for a bit, but a lifetime in haze and confusion is a life lost. And things born out of darkness of obfuscation are doomed to fail. It feels like I’m coming out of such a haze, and with it all the requisite tumult is hitting just as Mercury moves into retrograde.
There is a jolt. A cry. The earth feels like it’s shifting.
Suddenly, clarity.
As if a scrim you didn’t realize was there rises and illuminates what had been hazy.
The lifting of a veil.
Some veils are pretty.
Some veils are poisonous.
The ones that are both are the trickiest of them all.
I’ve always been aware of the haze, and I’ve always known about the veil.
It may be time to see anew.
