If I have the energy and the desire, I’ll be updating this with my own special brand of obnoxious Oscar commentary. As much as I want ‘Call Me By Your Name’ to win everything it’s up for, I know that’s not going to happen. But I’ll watch to see if Jennifer really does show up with Brad, and all the rest of it. Keep coming back here to see how much I feel like adding. (Or watch in more instantaneous time on my Twitter or FaceBook feeds.)
First up: Adam Rippon, strapped in for however bumpy a night it may be. (I believe this is designed by Jeremy Scott, who seems to enjoy his strap-ons.) The good news here is that all I have to do to make it to the Oscars is win an Olympic medal.
Jane Fonda is forever immaculate – elegant, classy and resplendent in white.
Echoing that white theme is Laura Dern, in a very good way.
Rita Moreno (EGOT winner) is wearing the same gown she wore when she won her Oscar in 1962. Proof that true style never goes out of date. (It was made from a Japanese obi.)
Mary J. Blige rounds out a triumvirate of white gown eleganza.
Tiffany Haddish is wearing something I would wear to the Oscars.
Allison Janney has the kind of sleeves I want to wear to work.
Betty Gabriel makes her own colorful choice in a gorgeous shade of green.
I adore Whoopi Goldberg, so the less said about that dress the better.
My favorite thus far: Salma Hayek in Gucci, though I’m guessing this will be polarizing.
Eliza Gonzalez is our fashion canary. How’s the coal mine?
Turns out that white wasn’t just for the ladies, as Timothee Chalamet donned an all-white tuxedo ensemble, and almost pulled it off.
I see Jennifer Lawrence stopped at Deb for her Oscar dress.
While I don’t feel ‘Get Out’ is worthy of the Best Picture Oscar (I liked it, but it didn’t move my soul), I do think Daniel Kaluuya should get some major credit for daring to break with black tux tradition.
Nicole Kidman is how high school girls mistakenly envision their prom dress will look.
Viola Davis just made Jennifer Lawrence’s dress look like gold.
Maybe if they stopped talking about how long the show runs over, it wouldn’t. Same for these montages that span literally 90 years. It’s enough that the number is in the hashtag. We get it.
Let’s see: the first of three mini-films by Walmart or a piss-pot stop? [Cue the pee.]
Lupita Nyong’o always manages to thrill with her sartorial selections, but on the Red Carpet I wasn’t sure about this one. Under the lights of the stage, however, it glittered and shone in all the right ways.
Sneakers. At the Oscars. So cool, man. Cooler than sunglasses at night.
I’m bored already.
But Sufjan Stevens rescued the lull with the ‘Mystery of Love’ and a delicious jacket.
Ok, focus. No matter how well-tailored his jacket is, Tom Holland is lost in its double-breasted style.
I hate an Oscar gimmick. Getting some stars to surprise an unsuspecting movie audience? If I were in that audience in my sweatpants, then broadcast to the entire world, I’d be pissed.
A sentence I never thought I’d have to write tonight: I wish someone would move the hot dog so I could get a better gander at Emily Blunt’s dress.
Wait, the man bun is still a thing? Can it not be?
Even with tinsel on, Margot Robbie is gorgeous.
Just when I think I’m over Sandra Bullock she adds an extra layer of charm and I’m helpless.
Why do the presenters get the best backdrops, while the musical performances get nothing? Didn’t stop ‘This Is Me’ from shaking the rafters though.
Wait, maybe I didn’t need a better look at Emily Blunt’s dress.
Is that a side-bump-it on Jennifer Garner?
I feel like Miranda Priestley would purse her lips at Emma Stone’s bow-centric outfit. That said, I still kind of like it.
Do I go for the height difference, the weird crutches, or what? I’m too tired to care.
Bonnie & Clyde return to the scene of the crime. That’s all for #Oscars90.
Oh wait ~ didn’t think an Oscars ending could get more awkward than last year, but there it is.
