As a novice to the whole meditation scene, I’ve begun slowly and in small, short, and easily-accomplished sessions, starting out with a few minutes of deep breathing and gradually increasing the time I sit in silence. I’ve been setting the timer phone feature for 13 minutes, as that’s a good number for me – long enough to reach a genuine state of calm within the limited parameters of a busy day, but not long enough to cause discomfort. Sitting in the lotus position for an extended period takes some acclimatization.
The hybrid practice I’ve adopted is to turn off all the music and noise, lower the lights, light a candle and some Palo Santo incense, then hold a smooth piece of rose quartz in my hands as I gently allow my gaze to ease and focus on the intake and exhalation of breath. In the beginning I simply count – one breath slowly in, one breath slowly out – and repeat the process until any shallow breathing has deepened and slowed.
Then, with each breath going in, I’ll focus on whatever feeling or emotion or thought comes up, and let it pass by as I breath out. It works best when these things are acknowledged and recognized, honored and respected no matter what form they take. That means things like sadness and sorrow and loss and envy and anger and impatience all get a breath in and out. Each has its moment of recognition. By this point, the length of a breath is of decent duration, and every pleasant and unpleasant visage that rises receives its due. Then it floats away. As I’m told is the trick with ghosts, simple but genuine acknowledgement is enough to allow even the most uncomfortable thoughts to pass. The goal here isn’t to solve any problems, only to recognize their presence, spiritually nod to them, and let them continue on their way. It’s ok if they come back – sadness and sorrow visited me more than once in recent days, and I had to sit with them a little longer.
I will go through the events of the day, allowing the emotions that surfaced their time in the light of awareness, and it’s amazing the power such light carries. It doesn’t change or alter what it touches, but it somehow works to ease the mind of the burden of keeping them all in darkness, shadow and silence. In that respect, it’s part mysticism and magic, and the only thing I know is that at the end of a meditation period I feel calmer and more relaxed. Part of it is due to the physical act of focusing on deep breathing, part of it is the clarity and cleansing of thoughts, and part of it is something I can’t quite explain just yet. I just know it works.
As I mentioned, this is only the start of my meditation journey. I don’t know how long it will last or how far I will go, but I’m hopeful, and it’s already helped. The last time I meditated, I started the stopwatch and went into my method. Midway through, I felt the discomfort of sitting, but worked by breathing through it and letting the thoughts of pain rise and fall. Eventually the breathing won out and the discomfort passed. I could feel myself moving deeper into a meditative state, and I kept up honoring whatever feelings or thoughts of images came up, until time and clock and time again came up in my mind, at which point I snuck a look at the phone and saw that I had pressed stopwatch instead of timer, and I had clocked in at 17 minutes. It wasn’t very long at all, but it was longer than 13, and felt like the natural time my body and mind needed. Maybe this is how a greater sense of peace begins. I’m going to need it when the earth shifts into Mercury in retrograde on the 17th. We’re all going to need it.
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