It may be summer, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t storms, or darkness. Sometimes the darkness in summer is deeper than it is in winter. All the tree leaves lend shadows upon shadows, darkness piled on more darkness. In winter the branches are bare, the moonlight can sift through, and the snow and ice reflects any light that might remain. Summer plunges all of that into blackness.
I kinda hate you
Kinda love you
Kinda wish I was you
Wanna kiss you
Can’t resist you
That underlying melancholy runs through this outwardly pink and perfect little song by Alex Sloane. The lyrics and images start off innocuously enough – all whimsical, airy fluff, all romantic overtures and posturing – and then it veers a bit darker, the way summer sometimes suddenly turns on a storm.
I hate my body
I want yours
I hate my skin
I hate my flaws
I hate my body
I want yours
I hate my brain
I hate these thoughts
I kinda hate you
Kinda love you
Kinda wish I was you
Wanna kiss you
Can’t resist you
(I think I’m loving it!)
The summer storm often feels more punishing because it seems at odds with the notion of the sunny season. It stings a bit more coming in the midst of all that was supposed to be lovely. Like the fall of these little petunias – so bright and cheery and seemingly invincible, yet how quickly they shrivel and go to pieces under the briefest of thunderstorms, their blooms limp and lifeless, never to return to what they once were. How strange and sad, all these little deaths, replaced immediately by other blooms where forgotten ones once shone.
Summer angst, summer melancholy, and a little bit of summer madness. All part of the glorious package that makes up a coquette summer. It’s only the second day in… who can say what the rest of the summer will bring? The push and pull of this song personifies the moment – a moment that feels torn… fraught. Like the rain…
