Ahh, Valentine’s Day.
There is so much love and hatred for a single day, often depending on where your own romantic situation is, and it is foolish and folly in every single aspect. For me, this day has never really been about romantic love – we show and receive love daily if we’re lucky enough to have found our person, and it’s in the simple things like sharing the ride to pick up groceries, sleeping in on lazy Sunday mornings, or simply unwinding beside someone at the end of a day. Valentine’s Day is merely another excuse for a gift or a dinner out – both very much welcomed, don’t get me wrong, but nothing that couldn’t or shouldn’t be done at any other time of the year. My love with Andy is more powerful and resonant than could ever be captured or celebrated in a single Hallmark holiday.
Instead, Valentine’s Day brings me back to my elementary school days, when sending a Valentine to my classmates was the first introduction to the power of an epistolary hello, and how it could be an art form. As much as I loved seeing my Valentine bag decorated with construction paper hearts and paper doilies fill and drop beneath the weight of the cards from my classmates, I found an equal thrill in dropping their cards into their bags, hoping that the ones I had made or chosen for them would make an impression and properly convey how much they meant to me.
My friends then were mostly girls – Rachael, Lynn, Jill, Laura, Angie, Tonya – and they made me feel accepted and adored in a way that was never quite there with the boys. Girls could be terrible towards each other, but very rarely were they ever mean to me (unless it was deserved, and yes, it was often deserved but even then they were kinder and more forgiving than I would ever be).
We recently had dinner with Lynn after reconnecting a while ago and she exclaimed with slight exasperation that all the girls loved me in elementary school. It was something I never fully realized then, and as she said it forty years later I started to feel beloved by them for the very first time. It moved me immensely, and I quickly glossed over it so as not to make a mushy scene. That Lynn remembered, and that it had been true, was a soul-healing balm over a tender part of my heart that never quite felt loved back then. Realizing it this late in the game left me humbled and grateful. If that’s what Valentine’s Day has come to mean, then let us have it in high heralded spirits, let us shout about its heart-bursting brilliance and celebrate the idea of love in all its forms.
Here are a few previous V-Day posts for your perusal – together they create a little playlist for this day:
The Unexpected Valentine: Kissing A Fool
The Modern Day Valentine Mix: Side One and Side Two.
A Valentine Hodge Podge: At This Moment
Crazy Valentine Love: Crazy For You
Valentine Miscellany: Crazy In Love
A Valentine Sweet Treat: Studded With Chocolate
Hearts of Cheese: Making Love Out of Nothing At All
A Simple Valentine Song: I Only Want To Be With You
A Friendly Valentine: That’s What Friends Are For
A Valentine Folk-You Mix: Side One and Side Two
