“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.” ~
A weekend spent with a musical family shouldn’t go by without some theme song, but the puzzling realization that we hadn’t gotten around to finding such a song left me in a panic as I was almost back home from Connecticut. As if the universe sensed this hole in our usual mode, ‘Hey Soul Sister’ came on the stereo and it felt as fitting as any other, mostly because the ukulele harkened to our previous visits, and the sweet melody had a summer tinge of happiness that belied the rain that bookended my visit.
Visiting Missy and Joe has been a tradition of mine since they started dating. These weekends away were the perfect escape, even when I wasn’t showing off on tour or promoting some lunatic’s project. When they settled into their family home in Connecticut, and their two boys were old enough to allow for visits, we started making a summer visit an annual tradition, one that was derailed with everything else last year. This past week, I tentatively returned to the tradition begun so many years ago, a return-to-basics weekend that marked their first non-family guest visit, and I was happy to oblige.
YOUR LIPSTICK STAINS ON THE FRONT LOBE OF MY LEFT SIDE BRAINS
I KNEW I WOULDN’T FORGET YOU
AND SO I WENT AND LET YOU BLOW MY MIND…
It began with the downpour of remnants from a tropical storm, set to move quickly through New York and Connecticut just as I was arriving – which meant that my entire ride took place in a deluge of rain, but the backroad route I took was so pretty it didn’t matter. Of greater concern was the fact that the only road that seemed to grant access to their area was closed because of a newly-fallen powerline. (I would have normally gone right past the sign because I knew no other way to get there and GPS was repeatedly insisting I take this road while offering no alternative routes, but I actually saw the line lying in the middle of the road and was sure I’d be electrocuted if I rolled the Mini Cooper over it. Andy would also kill me if I got burn marks on the ice princess blue.) A quick call from Missy had her guiding me over dirt roads and questionable terrain, but within minutes I was right as rain, triumphantly returning in a floral and bird print peasant blouse with palazzo pants and fascinator. As one does in Connecticut.
YOUR SWEET MOONBEAM
THE SMELL OF YOU IN EVERY SINGLE DREAM I DREAM
I KNEW WHEN WE COLLIDED
YOU’RE THE ONE I HAVE DECIDED WHO’S ONE OF MY KIND
Julian and Cameron had each grown a foot in the almost two years since I’ve seen them last – a reminder that time away from children means missing out on far more changes than it does for adults. Luckily, I caught them before they grew too old for my silliness, and I made a promise to return in the fall to see what changes the summer will have wrought.
Julian is still a musical prodigy, while Cameron is sketching designs inspired by Jackie Kennedy Onassis and Princess Diana. His latest obsession is the ‘Material Girl’ song and video, so I made a little Madonna lesson the first priority. Someone has to teach the children about important cultural moments and milestones.
The rain lifted as I arrived, and I got to go outside to see the meditation pond that Joe had dug a few months earlier. There, a water lily was in bloom amid a burgeoning crop of water hyacinth and a couple of timid goldfish. Tranquility and peace reflected in the still water, and across the yard a sculpture of the Buddha watched over the proceedings with a mindful eye. Two kids and a dog named Queenie might not seem like the quietest set-up for a peaceful scenario, yet that’s somehow what transpired as the weekend gently unfolded.
HEY SOUL SISTER
AIN’T THAT MR. MISTER ON THE RADIO, STEREO
THE WAY YOU MOVE AIN’T FAIR YOU KNOW
HEY, SOUL SISTER
I DON’T WANT TO MISS A SINGLE THING YOU DO TONIGHT
Aside from all the gracious gifts left in the guest room – delicious bits of chocolate nut bark and caramel nut popcorn – the best present was the delight of the company and the tranquil peace of the place. It’s not something that can be forced, and I’ve only found it a few times, and with even fewer people. It’s always been present when I visit Missy and Joe, and there’s something sacred about finding such space in our dimming world. Whether it was in the bloom of a water lily, the way their dog Queenie went from barking up a storm upon my arrival to finding her way to cuddle on my lap every time I sat down, or the peels of laughter from the two boys, life found a way to slow down, smile, and take pleasant rest in this home-away-from-home.
JUST IN TIME, I’M SO GLAD YOU HAVE A ONE-TRACK MIND LIKE ME
YOU GAVE MY LIFE DIRECTION
A GAME SHOW LOVE CONNECTION WE CAN’T DENY
I’M SO OBSESSED, MY HEART IS BOUND TO BEAT RIGHT OUT MY UNTRIMMED CHEST
I BELIEVE IN YOU, LIKE A VIRGIN YOU’RE MADONNA
AND I’M ALWAYS GONNA WANNA BLOW YOUR MIND
Missy had stocked the kitchen with plentiful goodies from breakfast to dinner, cooking up a storm with a delicious salmon dinner the first night to a melt-off-the-bone favorite rendition of ribs on the last night. A side of Mexican street corn salad will easily become the new staple of the summer dining season, and likely beyond.
Joe showed me his bonsai and a container of carnivorous beauties like this Venus fly trap. He sampled some Tom Ford (‘Tobacco Oud’) and I eked out a win in chess (after Skip and Chris, he’s the third straight guy to fall victim to this queen), and as the first waves of the Sunday scaries started to descend come Saturday night, I knew I would miss this time in paradise.
THE WAY YOU CAN CUT A RUG, WATCHING YOU IS THE ONLY DRUG I NEED
SO GANGSTA, I’M SO THUG, YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I’M DREAMING OF
YOU SEE, I CAN BE MYSELF NOW FINALLY
IN FACT, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN’T BE
I WANT THE WORLD TO SEE YOU’LL BE WITH ME
Nearing bedtime, I thought back to one of the first things we did after I arrived: a visit to the pond that Joe had made, and an examination of the water lily in full, gorgeous bloom. We talked of what it took to build such a pond, the science involved and the work, and in between the silences took their cadenced place, elongating and extending our peaceful time there. It was how the entire weekend went: a sense of mindfulness ran through every moment, no matter how many times we erupted into laughter at a crazy memory.
On that last afternoon, Missy and I sat for a moment in their front reading room. On my last visit, the room was in a state of empty flux – now it was fully furnished, with a few favored books on the shelves, and a cozy couch from which one could gaze into the front yard, or beyond into the dining room.
Sitting quietly with a lifelong friend is one of the few treasures we should all be afforded in our brief time in this world. We didn’t say much in that moment, and none of it was very important or memorable, yet somehow it managed to heal so much of the awfulness of the last year.
The next morning I made a promise to Julian that I would return in the fall.
HEY SOUL SISTER
AIN’T THAT MR. MISTER ON THE RADIO, STEREO
THE WAY YOU MOVE AIN’T FAIR YOU KNOW
HEY, SOUL SISTER
I DON’T WANT TO MISS A SINGLE THING YOU DO TONIGHT
“He did not say that because he knew that if you said a good thing it might not happen.” ~
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