Yesterday my Dad turned 90 years old – a milestone for a man who has slowed down a bit in recent years, but in whom there are still glimmers of the hero I idolized from the moment I came into the world. Since that was 45 years ago, and Dad just turned 90, the math means that I am the same age at which my Dad first became a father. It’s the first time I’m realizing that, and the first time I understand a little more of my childhood.
Focused mainly on his work and career in those days, Dad was busy making a good life for my brother and myself as we grew up. The idea of having a child at my age fills me with a certain sense of wariness, and when I think back to the years when our Dad was somewhat uninterested in playing or running around when he got home from a long day of work, I suddenly have a better sense of where he was at in his life, as I find myself in a similar position, and gratefully without children. Seen in that light, I have even greater respect for my Dad, who did his best even with the unruly craziness of two rambunctious boys.
I’m filled with gratitude that I get to see that now, and at his best moments I hope Dad is able to appreciate that gratitude. My Dad never really did anything that required our forgiveness, but there were times we didn’t understand his drive for work over fun – now that I’m the same age that he was when I was born, I get it. His choices were made out of love and protection, and a keen foresight to plan for the future. That’s the mark of a good father. I understand that now.
Happy birthday, Dad – I love you.
